Last Spring
by Midnight Rain19
Summary: AU "One year. One year without dating and men so I can focus more on my school work and getting a job instead of the heartache that comes with that all." Lucy reminded herself. But then she looked up from her textbook and found Natsu's wicked gaze; falling into his temptations and the secrets they kept. So just what were the repercussions of dating a man with the nickname "Dragon"?
1. Don't Remind Me

**Last Spring**

 **Chapter 1** : **Don't Remind Me**

' _No More.'_

"I've reached my limit." Lucy muttered, biting her lip.

She ignored the tears beginning to prick at her eyes, at least they could blur the image of seeing Loke with another woman.

Again.

" _You promised me that you wouldn't flirt as much, you said that it was a habit you were truly trying to break, and yet…" Lucy sighed, looking away from his sorry look._

 _She wouldn't fall into his auburn eyes and forgive him._

 _Not anymore._

' _I wasn't flirting with her; honest!' He began, only to be interrupted as Lucy held up her hand._

" _You were just 'helping her' adjust her blouse? Or getting that 'bug' out of her hair?" She mused, the same tired excuses._

 _His lips quivered as if he wanted to find another quick explanation, eyes widening as she tore away at charm necklace he had given her for her birthday._

" _Here." Lucy whispered, holding it out to him._

 _When he didn't move to immediately accept it, she stepped forward and pushed it into his hands. Her hands shook as she slowly moved her fingers away from him. From his touch._

 _This would be the last time they were this close._

" _I won't need this."_

" _Lucy, I-"Loke attempted once more._

 _She tuned him out, shaking her head. With one final weak smile, she turned and left him alone to his thoughts._

That had been last spring.

And the summer and winter that followed she had continued to be so naïve; dating and mingling with men who only desired her body and nothing more while she in vain ached for anything to fill the ugly void she had once felt from being with Loke.

Nothing worked and it after being hurt and hurt, she had learned by the New Year.

No more men.

At least until she had graduated and had a good settled job.

"I don't think you'll be able to last so long Lucy, so you had a few bad dates; that's no reason to give up on the entire male population completely!" Levy had cried when she voiced her resolve to her.

"Juvia agrees. As long as you stay away from _**my**_ Gray, you have the rest of the men on earth to pick from!" Juvia chimed in from beside her.

' _They can't talk.'_ She thought grimly.

How could they understand when they both had stable boyfriends? They didn't understand, nobody probably could…

' _I've made my decision and I'm sticking to it.'_

Lucy looked away from the pair to outside, watching the leaves dance outside; it was spring session once again. A blur of pink passed through her field of vision and she hurriedly looked back at her meal before her friends noticed her sudden odd behavior.

' _Natsu.'_

- **X-**

No amount of sneaking around had worked; Natsu had indeed saw her.

And followed her back to her dorm.

"Lucy, why did you run off so fast from me?! I figured if you were eating lunch I could've joined you!" Natsu whined.

Lucy responded by burying her head deeper into the pillows of her bed.

' _This is the third break in…the third break in this week. How can he keep getting into the girl's dorms so easily without anyone noticing?!'_

"I know you can hear me." He muttered softly by her ear and she sprang up, pushing him back.

"Don't do that! Honestly, why can't you just visit me by signing in downstairs like all the other guests to this building do?" Lucy griped.

Natsu shrugged, plopping down in her desk chair and rolling back to her. "Because that's boring?"

Lucy rolled her eyes. "More like because you're not normal."

But yet, she allowed him to keep coming back. Even Levy, her best friend and roommate since freshman year hadn't known about Natsu's visits to their room.

' _It's not like he's a secret!'_ Lucy considered, reddening at how odd the circumstances were the more she thought about it.

Natsu _**was**_ a part of their group of friends and he mainly visited usually if he just wanted help with homework or was bored.

Right now, it was probably the latter.

"Why are you here anyways, Natsu? Don't you have an afternoon class at 2:30?" Lucy questioned, glancing towards her wall clock.

It was almost 2:15 now.

He turned and sent her a sharp gaze and she quickly sucked in her breathe. Goosebumps rose up on her skin as he leaned in closer and the heat of his presence wafted around her.

Her stomach coiled anxiously.

"Natsu, don't." Lucy paused.

The haze of interest in his eyes hadn't left.

"Don't what?"

"Don't do _**this**_ _!"_

She shook her head, pushing him further and further away until she managed to get him out the door. Natsu didn't know about her self-imposed rules and she had lasted for a perfectly good 4 months now; no way was she letting it get broken before even half a year had gone by!

Natsu held his hand out to stop the door from completely closing, sending her a giddy grin as if nothing had just happened.

"Alright Lucy, see you later! Or maybe even tonight!"

"You're joking, right? I have a big astrology exam tomorrow; you know that!" She snapped, she needed this A or at least a high B to maintain her low A in the class. ' _This was the one class Mom was always good at too, so I know that I can as well despite what father said…'_

Natsu nodded his head breaking her from her thoughts as he grinned more sincerely. "I know! I happened to find a book in the library that I heard is often where test questions are taken from!"

Lucy blinked, words gone.

' _Not again! Not again!'_ Her heart thumped hurriedly to remind her of her stained past. She had too many other priorities right now, too many other distractions that she needed to be focused on.

And Natsu blurred all of that.

Because despite his silliness and her constant gripes for him to leave her alone, he had always found a way to help her or be there.

- **X-**

It's raining by the time Lucy gets out of her exam. Leaves stick to her umbrella and rattle in the wind as lightning crackles from the grey skies.

' _I hope this storm is only one of those quick popup ones.'_

2 missed calls and a text light up her phone as she turns it off silence and Lucy scowled upon seeing one of the calls is from her dad.

' _I told him not to call me during the weekday and he should know my schedule already!'_

His voicemail gets deleted without a second glance.

The second call is from Natsu and her chest twinges at the memory of yesterday; the book he had given her really had helped.

It would be a bad idea to let that particularly go to his ego so she skipped his message for the time being and moved on to the text from Levy.

And her stomach drops.

"Tell Natsu not to leave his muddy tracks in the room next time." She reads aloud.

Her mind immediately went into panic mode. How long had she known? Why had she confronted her on it? But most of all, what was she assuming?!

' _No, No, No. Nothing has happened; I'm getting to ahead of myself here.'_ Lucy told herself, still her stomach refuses to stop churning until said questions get answers.

Luckily, Levy is there when she returns. Asleep while the sound of rain continues to tap against the windows. Quietly, she shook out the drops from her umbrella and soaked jeans only to be startled from the "Hey, welcome back!"

Levy tussled sapphire strands of her from her hands, regarding Lucy with a sleepy gaze.

Lucy immediately held up her phone defensively, message brightly lit up. "How long?"

Levy arched a brow, confusion evident.

Lucy pursed her lips, shaking her phone again for emphasis. "Come on; don't play dumb! If you knew Natsu was coming here; why didn't you say something? I could've told him to stop!"

And at that, Levy's sleepiness was gone as she sat up. "Would _**you**_ have?"

Despite the warmth she could feel coming onto her cheeks, Lucy didn't back down. "Of course I would have! He can be such a slob at times I swear…"

Levy giggled. "Really though, how many times _**has**_ he come here?"

Lucy shrugged, it wasn't as if she counted. He came once or twice a week usually, more if he frantically needed a quick tutoring session.

Levy paused at her silence, wiggling at her toes still underneath her comforter. "You can do both you know Lucy. Date and go to school; Gajeel and I-"

"I'm _**not**_ like Gajeel and you." Lucy interrupted warningly.

But she bit her lip at her hurt expression and mumbled out an apology. It still ached to be reminded…

Perfect good looks.

Perfect grades.

Perfect boyfriends.

Her friends had it all.

Envy swirled at her in spite of knowing it wasn't all true.

"Natsu likes you." Levy suddenly confessed.

"He's just teasing me and joking around." Lucy responded smoothly, no stuttering or uncertainty to convey how much she doubted those words.

He wouldn't want her after he knew about her past; Loke hadn't been the only guy to hurt her…

Levy shook her head, unconvinced. "Really Lucy! Haven't you seen the way he looks at you?"

' _Yes.'_ Her mind answered.

Nonetheless, she had an agenda to keep to.

"I told you no men until after college. My grades have been sinking and, and-"Her voice trailed off.

' _And I don't want to see that look on father's face again or hear his comparisons and remarks when I'm forced to head home for another school break…'_

Levy sighed, knowing the topic was dead. For now.

"I saw they put up flyers for some jobs in the student lounge. I printed them out for you to look over."

Lucy brightened, tying her blonde hair back to go straight into study mode. "Why didn't you say so sooner?!"

Finally, an opportunity to stop taking those dead end weekend jobs that lead to a measly pay. A chance to really have a steady income, to-

' _Wait, what is this?'_

"Levy, did you seriously read this job offers over?" Lucy regarded, some of these sounded a bit too good to be true.

Levy nodded, looking away from her laptop. "Of course, why?"

Lucy frowned, continuing to stare over one particular posting. "Since when do people offer 100,000 jewels for pet sitting?"

- **X-**

"She's not going to fall for this stupid plan of yours." Gray regarded with a yawn.

Natsu basically ignored him.

There was so many better things he could be doing on his one afternoon free of classes, catch up on homework, hang out with Juvia, sleep…

But why miss a chance to see Natsu make a fool out of himself?

His smile slipped slightly at the thought though, just how far was he going to take this? Lucy hadn't cracked yet, so why would she now?

"You're being too stubborn about this, Lucy isn't fond of hotheads." Gray went on.

The giddiness in Natsu's expression faded, making him send Gray a sideways glare. "She likes me enough to let me be in her room."

Gray shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "She's too polite to kick you out."

"Whatever, like I really need advice from someone who studies _**ice**_ and climate patterns of all things." Natsu grunted.

"Better than going around burning things; I don't see how you can want a fire science degree when you're the one who usually _**causes**_ fires to happen." Gray retorted.

The air in the room grew tight, volleying insults growing too personal. Too painful.

" _I promised I wouldn't tell." Gray prompted himself._

 _Juvia could be a bit too much of a blabbermouth at times._

 _Though it was getting more and more annoying watching Natsu pace back and forth in front of him._

" _She's hurting and she won't let me get close enough to figure out why." Natsu grumbled._

 _The rain he got caught in makes his clothes stick to him, ear-gratingly squishing with every step he takes against the carpet._

" _People lie. People keep secrets; even from friends…"_

 _And then he finally paused._

 _Natsu gritted his teeth, clenching and unclenching his fists before he sighed. "How come_ _ **you**_ _can know and I can't?"_

 _Gray pursed his lips, saying nothing._

 _He wasn't supposed to know either; just like him._

 _It made Natsu scowl as he expected as he turned away. "Fine, be a hard ass and don't tell me! I'll find out eventually…"_

"I just knew it was too good to be true." Lucy huffed, abruptly cutting the tension between the two men.

Natsu divulged into a grin, muttering to Gray an "I told you so!"

"I knew the offer of 100,000 jewels was too good for you to pass up!" He beamed.

Lucy shook her head, frowning warily towards Gray who looked weary of the prospect as well. But more so he saw the worry in her eyes if Natsu knew why she refused to push their friendship (or whatever they could really call it) beyond the point it was currently at.

"You want me to watch Happy for that much money?" Lucy went on.

Natsu nodded, pointing in Gray's direction. "That idiot over there didn't even think you would show up! You know I would never try to scam you or something."

Lucy gulped, pushing away said guilty thoughts. "It's just for this one weekend though, right?"

The smirk he sent her made her feel woozy all over again. "Think you can handle that?"

She quickly shook it off as she felt her face flush, frustrated with how easy he made her emotions become jumbled. It was only one weekend, and the money would be a good way to boost up her savings…

"Of course I can!"

Her thoughts were far less confident.

' _Of course…'_

- **X-**

"Don't look at me like that!" Lucy huffed.

She got a meow back in response.

Happy was usually a calm cat based on her past experiences around him, usually only purring listlessly for fish or some other food and wandering off once either Natsu or someone else gave into his demands.

His cute façade seemed to end with her though as he leapt into her lap, sharp nails Natsu refused to cut digging into her skin.

"Meow?"

Lucy bit her lip, smiling despite the stinging sensation crawling down her legs. "You had to pick the area where you could do the _**most**_ damage; didn't you?"

Happy snuggled deeper into her in return, stretching out with a yawn before curling up against her to sleep. Lucy sighed; this was a losing battle anyways to argue with a cat.

' _I know I was nervous to come here alone, but Natsu's not even here…'_

He would be away for the next few hours on supposed business with renowned Fairy Tail society he often called his second home. ' _I know I can trust you with Happy, he's always so comfortable around you!_

Lucy looked down, stroking through the blue cat's fur.

Trust.

Pets often liked to mimic their owner's behaviors, right?

She leaned back into the couch, a smile twitched at her lips at the idea. If Happy was this relaxed around her then Natsu too…

Before she could squash it, she felt her heart twinge, cheeks growing hot in realization. These passing thoughts were happening far much too now. It was hard to pretend it was all just a part of her overactive mind if only they weren't so frequent.

But it's those feelings she finds herself drifting off to as she looked around Natsu's mess.

His scent and warmth are all around her.

Hours later, she awoke to piercing black eyes studying her.

Lucy nearly let out a screech, her shifting causing Happy to abruptly hiss and scratch her in alarm for a potential intruder.

Until she catches sight of messy rosy hair and a goofy wide grin.

"Don't scare me like that!" Lucy snapped, settling down. Happy meows delightfully at Natsu's return, hopping from her lap into his arms.

"I wasn't trying to, I didn't think _**you**_ would be the type of person to actually fall asleep on the job." He teased in return.

Lucy blinked, glancing towards his window. Gone was the sunlight pouring in, replaced the faint glow of moonlight coming in. How long had she been sleeping?

Natsu plopped down beside her, knowing where her thoughts had gone. "You must've been really exhausted; it's almost 10 o clock."

Saying that frazzled her even more.

' _What, I should be back at my dorm by now! I haven't even gotten my notes ready for next week's assignments or-'_

She scowled at the continued grin Natsu gave her at her panicking. "Alright, when did you get back here?"

The grin never left his face. "About 2 hours ago!"

Natsu quickly held his hands up defensively as she tossed a pillow at him. "Hey, I did try to wake you by shaking you a bit, but I decided it was better not to continue when you didn't move."

Lucy felt her stomach flip despite her anger still simmering. "What would you have done if I hadn't woke up until even later?!"

Natsu's gaze softened then and if weren't for the darkness, she might've believed she saw a blush pass over his features.

"Would it have been so bad to have stayed the night here; with me?" He asked slowly.

Her words became muddled and frantic and Natsu's grin returned. This was silly, they had been alone plenty of times in the past.

"No, but…I should go back; Levy is probably worried and wondering where I am." Lucy considered, sitting up to grab her belongings.

Actually, Levy probably knew _**exactly**_ where she was. ' _And I'm not going to hear the end of it when I get back…'_

Natsu nodded, oddly not pushing the topic. "I'll walk you back."

"That's not necessary, I-"Lucy began to protest.

But Natsu adamantly reached out and grabbed her hand, even with her pinching of his hands and complaining.

It's quiet as they walk the cobblestone paths of Magnolia, shops closed up for the day as they head down the streets. Lucy beamed, gazing up towards the night sky. The stars were always brightest near Natsu's apartment; away from the light pollution the city contained.

"You're hands are cold." Natsu pointed out to break the silence, squeezing their entwined fingers for emphasis.

' _They feel hot to me.'_ Lucy wanted to say, but she kept her lips tightly pressed together.

Abruptly though, Natsu stopped and before she could turn to question him; she was being pulled into his chest.

"Natsu; what the heck are you doing?!" Lucy yelped, stiffening. The words came out too muffled to probably be coherent and Natsu quickly shushed her by poking her cheek.

"Just play along." He grumbled.

She followed where his eyes went, a sharp gaze on them.

Loke.

-x-

 _I have been wanting to write a Fairy Tail story for a good while, so many ideas came and went reading all different types stories until finally I got one that stuck in my head and kept growing until I wrote it out. Fellow NaLu lovers; hit me up with your thoughts! Lol It would be greatly appreciated and thanks for reading as always! :D_


	2. Fire and Desires

_Wow, I got a lot more feedback than I expected! I should've started writing in Fairy Tail category sooner lol; you guys are awesome; so awesome that I decided to post earlier rather than wait until next week! Thanks for all the responses! Let me know your thoughts with a quick review and as usual; thanks for reading. Thanks to Rosegarden212, LovingmyOTPs, Serene2127, blueesnow, MissyPlatinum, kokodragneel1997, zerophilia, and xXTheLittlestxX for their responses last chapter!_

 **Chapter 2: Fire and Desires**

That look in his eyes…

Lucy frowned, weighing the situation.

Of all the people, she silently cursed her luck. Loke's stare remained fixed on them and she wished she could avert her eyes from his glare. ' _He shouldn't be mad if I was with someone else now. Our relationship ended over a year ago.'_

Natsu on the other hand was taking this all in effortlessly, holding her closer and her heart jumped.

"I…I didn't know you were seeing someone else now Lucy. Natsu, huh? I knew you two were friends, but I guess the rumors that it went beyond that were true." Loke questioned.

' _What rumors?!'_ Her thoughts screamed, anger twisted at her stomach at the idea of whispers behind her back.

But Lucy paused, biting her lip before she dared speak in haste. It was one thing for her friends to think something was going on (since they had for years now), but complete strangers were stirring up gossip too just for the sake of it?

"Loke, I-I well Natsu and I aren't-"Lucy tried to say.

"We only just started dating, Lucy has been a bit shy about it so we've only kept to our small circle of friends." Natsu cut in.

Loke arched a brow, focus moving towards him.

Lucy risked a look at him as well, surprised by his confident grin. ' _Well, he did say to play along...'_

"Is that true Lucy? You can be honest with me." Loke asked after a while. She wasn't sure what he was trying to find in either of their expressions, Natsu continued to smile as if this was all a friendly conversation while she felt like she would collapse to the ground any minute despite Natsu's strong enough hold on her.

"Yes, I just don't want it spreading around." She finally spoke up.

The lie felt sour on her tongue coming out, especially at the unconvincing half-smile Loke gave them in return. He clearly didn't fully believe the lie…

"Ah, well I'm happy for you two; sorry to bother you." He continued on, walking on his way into the night.

' _He didn't confront the lie, what does that mean?'_

But Lucy didn't dwell on the thought for long, waiting until she no longer heard his footsteps against the cobblestone before letting out a sigh.

"Great; that excuse is only going to circulate more rumors!" Lucy groaned. As if she didn't have enough stressors to deal with already.

"Good." Natsu replied easily.

' _Did I hear him correctly? Did he actually just say this was a good thing?!'_ Lucy scowled, balling up her fists in preparation to hit him.

But then she looked up at him and found he had fixed her with a serious look and irritatingly, she could feel her face getting warm.

Again, her heart was starting to betray her.

' _Don't look at me like that…'_

"He was jealous that you potentially had moved on; let him talk if he wants to. Besides, that was the best thing off the top of my head I could say to at least get him off your back for a while." He explained.

Since when did Natsu have knowledge over relationships or dating?

The thought lingered in her mind much longer than she wanted to admit, enough for her to feel a flicker of sadness that the obliviousness she was used to around him was apparently truly long gone.

' _When did you start becoming more aware of other people's feelings? That's not like you.'_ Lucy wanted to question.

If she looked at him again though she was sure she would probably get her answer.

But instead she looked down in refusal, pouting and avoiding his knowing gaze.

Natsu trailed a thumb under her chin, forcing her gaze back to his. Lucy froze up for a moment, watching as his smirk returned, glowing against the backdrop of moonlight. "I wouldn't mind you know; dating that is."

' _I know; I wouldn't either, however…'_

And she flustered at her silly nervousness to not just come right out and say the truth to him. Men and dating just didn't fit into her life right now, she had set these goals for a reason, created these walls…

"Natsu, I don't think we should or well I mean right now I'm-"Lucy fumbled over her words, silently cursing herself.

She still couldn't tell him.

She shrugged out his grip slowly, out of his heat and touch before _**this**_ momentwent any farther and they did something they might regret. All the while struggling to ignore the passing look of hurt on his face knowing she wouldn't let him in fully.

Yet.

Because if she gave in, Natsu wouldn't resist and then she would end right back up at his place.

The rest of the walk back is miserably quiet, Natsu's grip on her hand never leaves, but now he's respectably keeping more of a distance between them and her body partially yells at her for not falling into her yearnings just once.

"Thanks for taking me back." Lucy murmurs when she sees the familiar light posts of her dormitory.

Natsu ruffled her hair gently and her stomach unclenched itself slightly knowing he didn't seem too upset over her behavior.

' _Maybe he'll wait…'_ A part of her thoughts trailed off hopefully before squashing it. Schoolwork and job first over any romances.

How was she going to keep her emotions in check around him for the remainder of the year though? Natsu wasn't ignorant anymore, tonight he at least knew the effect he could have on her…

"Anytime Luce."

- **X-**

' _Using that stupid affectionate nickname for me should be against the law!'_ Lucy berated herself.

Her head was pounding from the lack of sleep and beside her she can see her alarm clock tick past 2:15 am.

Seemed like her heart wasn't going to let her sleep tonight. As soon as she had made it back to the comforts of her bed, Natsu had texted her.

' _Someday, I hope you'll let me in on your pain so you don't have to carry it alone.'_ Her thoughts repeated.

Couldn't he have waited to tell her that in the morning?

Now she's going to be behind on _**everything**_. It's an exaggeration, but she still hasn't set up her schedule to prepare for the week. Good thing she didn't have classes until the evening hours. After tossing and turning for a while, she can finally tune out her rushing thoughts to get some rest.

Sunlight creeps in through the blinds hours later and Lucy diverts her head under the covers of her white sheets until she hears the sound of Levy clicking open the door and a clanging noise.

The sound of metal thrums in her ears.

"She actually sleeps this late?" A gruff voice asked into the room and Lucy restrained back a groan.

' _Why did she bring Gajeel here?'_

Levy giggled and even with her eyes closed she knew had leaned up to kiss him affectionately by the distinct ruffle of movement and sounds.

And if possible, she squeezed her eyes tighter to try and destroy said image.

"Don't be rude; she was out late last night from pet-sitting Natsu's cat for the weekend." Levy hummed, plopping down into her bed beside him.

Lucy didn't find close to 11:00 pm to be _**that**_ late, Levy had even still be up scrolling through TV channels when she came back into the room after all.

"Salamander? Didn't know they were dating." Gajeel questioned amusingly.

"Because we're not!" Lucy griped, throwing her covers off to glare at the duo.

Neither seemed too surprised she was actually awake.

"Well Lucy, you did come back _**much**_ later than expected." Levy emphasized. Gajeel seemed more interested at her haphazard appearance, blonde hair sticking out at every angle.

"Whatever, I told you already I accidentally fell asleep waiting for him to get back! And why is Gajeel here anyways? I thought you worked at that mechanic shop in the mornings during the week?" Lucy complained.

She still hadn't gotten completely used to his presence whenever he did decide to pop in, tattoos aligning his arms mixed with the metal accessories across his face to give off the face off a thug clashed with Levy's cheery plain disposition.

But yet they had been dating the longest out of their group of friends.

Lucy watched as Levy moved to the bathroom to switch out of her blue pajamas, changing into a pink tank top and tan shorts. Meanwhile, Gajeel kept her company pointing out that she looked like a half-zombie with the bags under her eyes.

Fun.

"Gajeel took work off today, we're going to pick up some treats for Pantherlily and then head to the park to have lunch with the others. We can wait for you if you want to take a quick shower and change?" Levy suggested when she returned back.

Lucy looked down at herself from the clothes she had hastily thrown on to sleep in, crumpled up t-shirt with an old picture of her and her doglike pet Plue and black sweatpants.

"Nah, you go on ahead! I have to get myself organized for the week anyways. I'll try and catch up with you at the park though if I can make it, the one by city square, right?"

Levy looked like she wanted to convince her more, but sighed and nodded. "Okay, but don't laze around here all day when it's going to be a nice day!"

Lucy opened her window to watch them go, the cool breeze did feel nice against her skin and the sky held only a few stray clouds intermixed with the endless sea of blue.

Perfect weather indeed.

She pinched herself at the slight frown slipping onto her face though seeing Gajeel whisper something into Levy's ear before she pushed him away with a squeal.

' _I was only going to be the third wheel if I came along…'_

- **X-**

"Juvia was wondering if you were going to show up." Juvia mentioned, pushing aside her textbooks to allow Lucy the spot she saved beside her.

Lucy smiled thankfully, sitting down as quietly as she could beside her before their professor turned back to see her.

With only a few minutes to spare, she would have been locked out of her Literature class if she had probably been a second later.

"Yeah, I know. I've been behind since I woke up late this morning. I've been playing catch up all day to get back up to date to prepare for the week after the weekend got me overdue." She whispered back.

Juvia brightened, lips curling up and she brushed her cobalt locks aside. "Oh, Juvia _**knows**_ all about your long weekend with Natsu. Gray informed Juvia of _**everything**_."

Lucy slouched then, pretending she hadn't heard her. ' _Surely not...nothing happened.'_

Though that fact doesn't stop Juvia's teasing any or plans for possible future 'double dates' intermixed between breaks in their lessons. Literature was probably one of her and Levy's favorite classes, but she shared the class with Juvia who she knew was a fan of classical and poetry works from the early to mid-1800s.

And of course they were currently studying the topic of romantic era pieces.

"You know what you and Natsu's relationship reminds Juvia of?" Juvia questioned, pausing in her note taking of literary critiquing and analysis.

Lucy shook her head absently, continuing to multitask between writing her notes and listening between her and their teacher. She probably didn't want to know despite her going to tell her anyways. Juvia flipped through their textbook a couple of pages, heading into the poetry section.

She giggled lightly, pointing to a particular short poem before mouthing "Read the one on the top of page 172."

Lucy furrowed a brow, but followed her directions to said page. At the top was a poem by an English poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge. She immediately knew by the title why Juvia had chosen it.

Desire.

Her face reddened, reading the poem at least twice over before sending her a sharp look.

"You would pick that one; based all around true love and people's longings." Lucy mused bitterly.

Juvia shook her head, waiting for their professor to glance away from their direction before continuing. "You didn't understand it properly. Juvia picked that one specifically based on how you and Natsu interact. Love is an instinctive thing we all have, you shouldn't try to hide or ignore the feelings you have for him because it's a part of human nature; at least that's what Juvia got out of reading it."

Lucy tapped her pencil against her cheek, sighing. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Juvia opened her mouth again, but Lucy quickly a hissed a "No" in reply. It was eating her up already how badly the weekend had ended between them due to her insincerities while her friends seemed like they were continuing to subconsciously throw their blissful relationships at her.

She didn't need to keep being reminded of the hurt she had seen on Natsu's face.

As class came to an end though, a book slipped out of her bag and Lucy paused, not recognizing the starry cover for a moment before it came to her.

' _It's the same astrology book Natsu let me borrow for the test last week.'_

She had forgotten to return it back to him when she had done the pet-sitting for Happy, it was checked out in his name after all. He was going to forget to do it unless she dropped it back off.

Which meant facing him again so soon.

' _I guess I better go get it over with rather than keep put it off…'_

"Lucy come on, class ended over 10 minutes ago! Gray promised Juvia he was going to eat dinner with her tonight." Juvia complained, snapping her from her thoughts. She was already eagerly waiting by the door, book bag slumped over her shoulder as she glanced between her and her watch.

"Ah, you go on ahead. I need to return this one book back."

- **X-**

' _My friends always have plans with their boyfriends…'_ Lucy noted.

But the thought didn't twist at her stomach as much as she thought it would.

Levy always tried to spend her afternoons with Gajeel when they both had no classes and Juvia was always near Gray the moment the opportunity arose.

And she…?

' _You have Natsu to break into your room whenever you need company!'_ Her thoughts attempted to answer excitedly.

Lucy squirmed, bristling. She hoped this wouldn't be an awkward meeting if he was indeed at his dorm, knowing Gray would be out once more in case she needed his intervening. All she had to do was return his book, apologize for how weird things were, then leave.

Simple.

She kicked at the dirt road leading to his place as she headed out of the main hub of Magnolia, orange glow of the evening sun hitting against her back. Natsu had told her his schedule over and over and yet she still wasn't sure exactly if he would be there.

' _He might be at Fairy Tail taking on some assignment or lounging around…but what if he's not? I need to actually think of something to properly say then!'_

Her thoughts kicked into high gear frantically, running through a range of scenarios.

"Natsu, hears your book back. Sorry I've been really mysterious- No, that sounds dumb. Maybe, Natsu I have my reasons for acting all strange around you- No, definitely don't want to sound like that." Lucy grumbled aloud.

' _These all sound so horrible!'_ She chided her ideas.

' _Okay, how about I just be honest with him, I don't have to give him the full truth, only enough so he understands.'_ She considered.

Lucy nodded to herself in approval, knocking on his door anxiously. The banging reverberated throughout the wood door and she froze as she heard a distinctive male yawn and Happy's meowing.

He was home.

"I'm coming; hold on!" He called out, the sound of furniture shrieking against the wood floor as he moved to approach the entrance.

Lucy straightened up then as she saw his form grow closer, readying herself. ' _Okay, I can do this!'_

Natsu cracked the door halfway open, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Hey Luce, what are you doing here?"

And all her preparation vanished.

Natsu continued to study her drowsily, overlooking his state of dress in only his black boxers. He must've been at the gym then showered, Lucy thought dizzily; picking up on his fading musky scent of sweat and shampoo.

Lucy hurriedly looked away, face gaining a pinkish tinge. "C-Close the door and put clothes on quick!"

Natsu blinked, glancing down at himself. "Huh? What's wrong with what I have on; I'm not naked? Besides, this is _**my**_ home; can't I dress in a way I'm most comfortable in?"

Lucy pinched the bridge of her nose, instead silently pointing a finger back to inside as she firmly kept her back to him. "Please do it, I'll wait outside if necessary!" ' _Honestly, is he dressed like that when he has any guest over?!'_

When he didn't immediately answer, Lucy hesitantly turned and squeaked to see he was still there, lazy grin etching his face while leaning against the door at her behavior.

"Lucy, you don't need to hide from me…!" He stated in a sing-song manner, walking around so she could see him fully.

' _This isn't funny!'_ She wanted to screech back, avoiding being caught staring at his handsome features again.

"Alright, alright; you can come in and wait in the living room and I'll go 'change.' Not like you haven't seen me like this before or Gray with how much he accidentally strips." He teased, heading upstairs to his room.

Lucy breathed out a thank you, rushing past him and settling herself back into the same place she was on his couch days ago. Happy strolled over, swerving around her legs with a meow in greeting until she affectionately scratched behind his ears.

Natsu returned moments later, back in his trademark vest and pants and she relaxed slightly even with her cheeks still hot.

"So, what brings you by here?" He asked, sitting down beside her.

Lucy reached for her backpack, retrieving the leather bound astrology book. "I wanted to return this back to you before it became overdue. I had forgotten to give it back over the weekend. Thank you; it really helped with the test." ' _Though I don't know if I made enough to maintain my A average…'_

Natsu beamed, accepting the book. "Told ya."

' _Okay, don't stall on telling him. He'll understand I'm sure.'_ Lucy reminded herself.

She nodded, auburn eyes shifting nervously as she twiddled her fingers. Natsu regarded her curiously, patting her hands and her hands twitched at the action, pursing her lips.

"I-I'm sorry for how strange I've been acting lately! It's well, I…I want to focus on my schoolwork and finding a stable job; I have my reasons for not pursuing any relationships right now." She blurted out.

Natsu cocked his head in confusion at her hurried and jumbled response, shifting a hand through his spiky pink hair carefully. "Hmm…"

There; it was out in the open.

She hadn't told him _**why**_ exactly she planned to keep to that goal for the rest of the year and possibly beyond that though.

No men.

No dating.

A mantra she would have to live by.

It would be hard continuing to carry the ache alone, but it was the only option she knew where others wouldn't have to be involved. Especially the people closest to her who would feel guilty for not helping. ' _They don't need to know right now; its fine this way.'_

Natsu curled his hands around hers and Lucy looked up, breath stilling.

He had his same fiery gaze, eyes sparkling with mirth and such self-sureness as if he was taking on a challenge and her stomach flipped under it.

"How long…how long do you plan to keep that up for? You remember what I texted to you the other night, don't you?" He ventured.

And her heart rate picked up speed, reminiscing on the single message she still hadn't brought herself to delete. ' _I hope someday you'll me let in on your pain…'_ "Of course I do, but some things are personal. _**You**_ of all people know that too."

Lucy wrinkled her nose, straightening up as she continued on. "I'm sticking to my guns Natsu; that's all you need to know."

Natsu broke into a crooked grin then. ' _I should've known it wouldn't be that easy to get a complete answer. Lucy's too stubborn.'_

"What if…" Natsu trailed off testing her.

Lucy's expression darkened, trying to break their hands apart. "What if what? Don't think any of your so called plans would likely work…"

"You don't even know what I was going to say!" Natsu griped, reaffirming his hold and Lucy blushed as he moved to trace their joined hands against his lips.

So many times his warmth made her whole skin feel on fire.

Lucy shook her head, brown eyes softening. "Really Natsu, my plan is to focus on only my schoolwork and a finding a good stable job by graduation next year; no other distractions."

Natsu grinned, leaning in closer to her.

"And you don't think _**I**_ can change your mind on that?"

-x-


	3. Fever Dreams

**Chapter 3: Fever Dreams**

"Eh?" Lucy whispered.

"You don't think _ **I**_ can change your mind on that?" Natsu repeated. "Because _**I**_ think I can."

Lucy gritted her teeth, clicking her tongue to bite back a curse. "Well _**I**_ say you can't! This is not one of your stupid little challenges or bets-"

Natsu interrupted her by wagging a finger much too close to her lips. "Hey, I never thought of it like that! Only that I think I can persuade you to change or tweak those plans of yours before we graduate. I mean knowing _**your**_ luck, it might be a while before you get to that 'stable' job part…"

Lucy huffed, blowing his finger back before she decided to bite it at that remark. "Says the guy who doesn't even have a job! At least I'm trying to find something!"

Natsu grinned goofily for a moment hearing that, all traces of seriousness fading. "And I know you'll find one Lucy! But a year is a long time and…"

"And what?!" Lucy snapped, scooting back from him and crossing her arms impatiently.

She didn't expect to see him redden, scratching a hand through his hair absently. His voice grew softer, avoiding her stare briefly. "And well a year is a long time to wait is all...I don't want to wait that long."

' _Don't say that.'_ Lucy realized, feeling her own face burn as well. A year would go by fast, it was plenty of time for her to focus and get all her grades up and apply to higher ends jobs once she had the degree to back her up. And if nothing really changed between them, then she could still continue on tutoring Natsu and helping bring up his own scores too.

Unless Natsu sidetracked that all.

But that's a possibility she doesn't even want to think about right now.

"Just be patient with me please?" Lucy asked softly, scowling when Natsu shook his head.

He pulled her back in closer back into his lap, ignoring her cries of protest and flustering. "Somehow, I still believe I can change your mind Luce…"

Lucy scoffed, wiggling to no avail out of his grasp. "Well, this isn't the way to go about it! You're only going to make me stick to my plan even more."

She could feel the curves of his lips widen in a grin as he pressed his head against hers. "You're the one always saying I'm not 'normal' or unconventional, give me a chance."

Lucy felt her stomach tighten, saying nothing.

Neither made a motion to move from their position.

Lucy nodded, staring through his spiky coral hair at his black eyes. "…So, are you going to let me go now?"

"Nope!" He replied easily, making her start her squirming game all over again.

Natsu trailed a hand up her a cheek to stop her and a race of goosebumps straggled behind it as he leaned in. His breathe fanned her lips and she quivered, knowing what he wanted.

"Natsu, no!" Lucy hissed; it came out so much more feeble and weaker than she imagined.

And she hurriedly reached for the nearest object to block him: Happy.

Blue fur clung to Natsu's lips and Lucy let loose a few snickers at the sight, scooting back from his hold and sighing.

"You could've warned me you were going to do that!" He griped.

Lucy shrugged, watching as Happy meowed in confusion at his owner's behavior before licking his face. "Well, at least Happy enjoyed it."

A quietness fell over them, the clock ticking into the stillness of the room and Natsu paused, expression downcast before speaking up again.

"I'm sorry, I won't try well until you want me to I won't-"

Lucy shook her head, waving off the apology. " _ **Now**_ you know I'm serious." She emphasized, leaning back into his couch and breathing steadily to keep calm.

' _I need to leave, staying here is only going to lead to more regrets…'_

"Can you last a year?" He questioned genuinely, momentarily breaking her thoughts.

Lucy said nothing, curling at her toes. ' _I don't know…'_

And she would leave him wondering, the sound of the main door creaking open as Gray's voice filled the room.

"Hey idiot, I decided to make sure you didn't burn our apartment down trying to make something again so I brought you some leftovers-"Gray paused mid-way, realizing what he walked into.

Lucy scrambled herself even farther from Natsu, nearly falling off the couch in the process while Natsu looked between a mix of annoyance at his presence and interest at his take-out food box.

Gray smirked, staring between the two. "Oh, was I interrupting you two…?"

A cry of "Yes!" and "No!" immediately cut him off.

- **X-**

"You rejected him?!" Levy blubbered in surprise.

Lucy nodded once more, staring at her reflection as she tried to detangle the ball of knots throughout her blonde hair.

And maybe ignore the fact she shouldn't have told Levy what happened.

"Yes! Why is it so shocking? It's not the first time I've done so." She scowled in return, reluctantly giving up on her hair and handing the brush to Levy.

' _This won't be as hard as everyone thinks. I'm sure once I get deeper into my studies, this matter will be a thing of the past.'_

Levy smiled warily, parting her hair into sections. "It's just, Natsu doesn't like to see you like this…none of us do."

The face she saw in the mirror agreed, not even her smile could reach her eyes to take away the dullness see saw in them.

Insomnia was creeping back into her life.

It only made sense with how much stress she had been having lately, attempting to meet deadlines, an endless job hunt, and preparing for new exams or pop-up quizzes…

All of that had mattered more to her than sleep.

" _What? You don't need medications for sleep! I'm not going to waste money on something you don't need!" Jude ranted, barely glancing up from his paperwork._

 _Lucy bit her tongue, anger simmering at his tone and behavior. It was rare at all for her to even actually come home, let alone visit her dad. But her sleep medicine was running low and to be a minor still meant needing her parent's permission to get a proper refill. "You don't understand, when my anxiety levels get up like this I would normally take-"_

" _No! I don't want you getting hooked on those drugs any more or becoming some psychiatrist's experiment to test new methods on. This type of thing you have comes and goes, right? All you need to do is go to bed earlier, eat right, and exercise. That will make everything better, shouldn't it?'_

If only it were truly that easy.

And insomnia had been the cause of so many loss opportunities and failed relationships…

Because people looked at you differently once they figured or believed you had a mental issue. But at least it this a minor issue enough, the bags underneath her eyes, less and less hours of sleep each night, and the mood swings…

There were ways to get around it or make it hidden to others.

"Lucy, do you want your hair down or in a ponytail?" Levy asked and Lucy stared back up at her reflection, redness outlining her brown eyes.

"Down is fine for now."

It would probably get messy again by morning anyways.

She spent the rest of the night catching up on reading assignments and essays, sleep continuing to allude her.

And by sometime past 3 am she concludes she really won't get enough sleep tonight. Levy's easy breathing across the room taunts in her in the darkness while she tosses and turns, thoughts unable to rest.

' _Don't look at the clock again…don't look at the clock.'_ Lucy told herself, turning over to face away from her phone.

The urge to calculate the number of hours of sleep she possibly has left is probably pointless now after her last check of the time showed it was already 3:37 am.

"My first class is at 9:30, I can at least maybe get in 5 hours maybe…" She breathed into her pillow, shutting her eyes once more.

" _Isn't that a lot of medicine to take before bed? I figured you weren't being serious when you said you actually needed them. You don't want to get addicted or be known as some pill popper." Loke asked, fiddling with the bottle in his hands._

 _Lucy snatched it from him before he could read anything else, lips contorting into a frown at his cheeky grin. Why hadn't she hid that better; out of view from anyone's prying eyes? "You know it's prescribed like I've told you hundreds of times before! Geez, and I only take them as needed."_

 _She fiddled with the bottle nervously in her hands as her cheeks flushed, almost wanting to crush the tiny blue capsules in her fingers at his implications._

 _This was the second time he chastised her for taking them, the first times he more so just thought it was a fun way to tease and mess with her…_

" _Loke, you don't think I'm weird for taking these, right? I mean lots of people use medicine for a variety of reasons." Lucy asked._

 _Subconsciously, her hold on the bottle tightened at his shrug of indifference._

" _Nah, of course not! If you need them, you need them! Though it is a bit funny you would need such medicine, reminds me of those flashy party girls who mix all those types of concoctions in drinks…_

 _He snickered at his own joke and Lucy willed herself to dryly laugh in return, it was just a lighthearted jest, though she quickly changed the topic to preparations for midterms, grade percentages, and of course things they could do together during the upcoming spring break._

 _And Loke went along with the change of conversation perfectly._

 _But soon after he left, she scratched deeply at the label of the bottle until her name could no longer be seen before burying into the dark recesses of her drawers, nails sticky with pieces of torn paper underneath._

" _I want no connections of this to me."_

Lucy sucked in a tight breathe, head fuzzy as she lurched up quickly from her bed. Cold air from the conditioner fanned her face as peaks of faint violet and orange rays came in through the blinds.

A dream.

"What's wrong with me?" She whispered, palms sweaty. A quick tap of her phone showed it was only barely past 7 am.

She could attempt to go back to sleep with the time left, but she instead opted for getting up for a light breakfast.

' _Anything to take my mind off that memory.'_ Lucy considered, zipping up her pink jacket and reaching for her boots.

A crisp wind woke her up even more from her dazed state and Lucy beamed, stretching her arms out.

Spring mornings when she actually could get herself to rise up in time for a jog were always nice, the sun not blaringly hot yet and the chill of the night not too overwhelming. A light dew shrouded the grass, sparkling in the sunlight as she walked.

"Being this early will means the cafeteria will still have all the fresh stuff available too!" She chimed to herself, humming.

No matter how terrible the night had been, she would recover from it.

"Hey Luce, heading over to the student center too, huh?" Natsu cried out from across the path.

Lucy blinked, skittered in her steps. She halfway turned to meet his gaze, surprised to see he wasn't alone but with a group of his friends from the guild.

"Oh yeah." She replied shortly.

Natsu nodded, pointing in the direction. "Alright, guess I'll see you there!"

Familiar faces she couldn't match with names smiled and waved to her as well as they passed.

But seeing him not alone brought a foreign ache to her chest that she hurriedly squashed before she recognized it. Natsu could spend his time around other people, it was just as she had wanted.

Lucy grimaced, feeling her appetite going before she straightened up.

' _It's fine this way.'_

- **X-**

The exam results from her astrology and biology classes are just the perfect pick me ups.

' _An A and a high B have me set perfectly even if I did bad one or two quizzes!'_ Lucy mentally cheered herself.

"I should reward myself for this somehow." She mused, considering stopping by the library's jazzman's café. It was a little past 10:30, too early for the cafeteria to be opening up again for lunch and her stomach craved _**something**_ after refusing breakfast.

She was currently running on only 3 shots of coffee and a bagel.

Light saxophone and piano music swayed through her ears as she entered the shop, the scent of sandwiches and teas permeating the air. Thank goodness the café was relatively empty.

Lucy paused to study the menu, crimson hair catching her attention out of the corner of her eye as she asked the cashier for a mint tea, egg sandwich, and muffin to start her off.

' _Erza?'_

And she wasn't alone either, Mirajane was with her as well.

She swerved her walk towards a booth far enough away for them not to hopefully notice her, setting up her books and backpack to obscure any views of her face.

"So, how have things been with you Erza? I've heard you been so busy with both the track and basketball teams you haven't had time for much else." Mirajane started.

Erza nodded, silently finishing up her cheesecake before speaking. "Yeah, pretty much. Why?"

Both she and Lucy knew by the devious smirk growing on her face that she was planning something.

"Oh, nothing…it's just I'm sure you're schedule isn't so busy you can't make _**some**_ time to spend with Jellal…" She trailed off.

Lucy quickly covered up a giggle at the blush that stained Erza's face, cool expression broken as she coughed on her smoothie.

"There's _**nothing**_ going on between us Mira; I've told you that before he's dangerous to get involved with!"

Mirajane laughed, smile still conveying wickedness. "Fine if you say so, but I'm only curious is all. Lucy too, she keeps turning down Natsu and I haven't been able to dig it out of her as to why."

Lucy felt her body go numb.

Erza idly sipped again at her smoothie, shifting her fork through the crumbs of her cake. "Ah, leave her alone; she has her reasons. In fact, it's good that she's maintained such focus on her schoolwork than letting Natsu's dumb antics affect her."

Mirajane hummed, twirling a finger through her snowy locks. "But aren't you slightly curious too? Lucy had been dating Loke just a few weeks ago and broke up with him and before that she had guy friends she casually dated. Natsu isn't a bad person; I'm sure he wouldn't hurt her the way those others guys did, hell he could even _**be**_ the reason why none of those relationships lasted."

Lucy knew her cheeks were burning now, perhaps truly everyone had high expectations or already believed of her and Natsu were in a relationship that didn't even exist.

"Oh come on, we both know Lucy was eventually going to get tired of Loke's flirting and besides, all the other ones could've been mutual break-ups or them not even dating in first place. " Erza pointed out.

Mirajane shrugged, while that was a possibility, her intuition told her that wasn't the case. "Well, I hope she knows she can always come and talk to us if necessary. We work together on the school's newspaper, but she's been so distant lately…"

And all the while unknown to them, Lucy sunk herself deeper into the wall, chewing heavily on her lips as not to speak. They didn't know she was here, that she was hearing them discuss her love life like this.

Her lips felt completely raw and sore from the action by the time they cleaned up their plates and left and she cursed herself for having given in to the temptation to listen in for so long.

' _Mira is one of the editor in chiefs for the campus paper. Her usual topics are to cover the horoscopes, advice column, and gossip sections. Even if she's a friend, I can't share this with anybody…'_

Before she could weigh on the thought any further though she distantly heard the sound of her order number being called and she rushed forward back to the cashier, holding out her receipt to confirm the meal.

"Would you like a tray to set your food on?" A waitress politely asked from the side.

Lucy plastered on the best convincing smile she could manage, pointing instead to the take out boxes and bags.

"Actually I changed my mind; can I take this meal to go?"

- **X-**

The food is lukewarm by the time she makes it back to Fairy Hill's dorms.

Levy is thankfully nowhere in sight to question her on her odd behavior and state of dress, shirt covered in crumbs and a green splotch mark from the tea that spilled on her during her climb up the stairs.

She made her way over to the table, pouring out the contents from the bag and finishing off the rest of the food she hadn't already gotten into between the walk back.

Lucy gave a quick glance over to the overhead clock: 11:30 am. Good, that was plenty of time to rest and make her notes before meeting up with her History group. Group projects like these were the worst, relying on strangers to pull their own weight. And to boot, it was one of the few classes she had where she didn't know anyone in it.

' _I'll clear my head with a shower and nap; that should help. We said we weren't going to meet until around 6 o clock…'_

This time, her sleep is dreamless and when she wakes again the sun is simmering much too low in the sky for it to be considered midday.

Lucy froze, eyes widening in horror. Next to her, her phone lightly buzzes, an irking reminder she never set an alarm…

' _Oh crap.'_

"Please tell me it's at least around 4 or 5 pm, please!" Lucy hissed, snatching up the phone from the dresser.

It's almost 8:00 pm.

She shifted through the array of texts from her group members, messages that begin with concern overtime becoming much colder and annoyed.

And her throat tightens upon reading the last message.

' _ **If you weren't going to come you could've given us a heads up instead of wasting our time, I bet you just "overslept" like the last same excuses, right? Not pulling your effort too will affect your grade you know.'**_

After staring at the text long enough for it to get ingrained her mind, she dazedly reached for her backpack and keys.

' _The library doesn't close until 1:00 am on weekdays. I can't risk them going back to the professor to say anything…'_

Her mind briefly registered there was no point in going there now that all her group members were probably gone, but she pushed forward anyways, ignoring the cold gushes of wind as the sky grew darker.

"I feel like such a hypocrite; believing my other group members wouldn't be of help when I'm the one who didn't even come." Lucy chided herself softly.

The library is relatively empty during the evenings and nights. People either gone out to events or back at their dorms considering most people had their own computers and printers in their rooms.

But the library was the only place where she could find the specific books on Magnolia's history and the maps to go along with it that were required for the project.

Lucy plopped down at the first empty table she saw, pulling out her notebooks. She had gotten herself into this mess in the first place and she could get herself out of it too.

By hour two, the familiar throbbing sensation in her head returns.

The room is spinning and a wave of queasiness comes over her when she tries to stand much too fast.

' _That's it. I've taken in all the information I can for tonight. When I see my group again on Thursday, I'll give them everything I've gotten. Hopefully they haven't done anything or plan to in between now and then…'_

Her group consisted of two other girls and one guy and previous gatherings showed they hardly had much to say to her, eyes empty and dark no matter how she tried to lighten the mood.

" _Lucy, if you're too tired we can just end the meeting early or try to meet up earlier in the day…" They had asked her in unison._

" _No, No! I'm fine; really! I'm just a little sleepy since I've had other assignments I've been working on."_

" _I doubt it, I saw you spending your time around that one Fairy Tail member…" She heard one of them mutter._

 _And it was then she noticed the same similar tattoos on all them._

' _That emblem…'_

Lucy slowly opened and closed her eyes at the memory. They gained such disgusted looks whenever Fairy Tail, malice towards her for her connection to Natsu.

Though she pushed the thought aside, gathering her belongings and heading out, thanking the librarian for her help in searching for the history books earlier.

Outside, the chilly weather greets her once more.

Lucy sighed, breathe coming out in shorts puffs into the night air. "I would forget my jacket." Her throat was already growing scratchy from being in the cold this much.

A striking laugh echoed from the distance and her breathing faltered. ' _Natsu?'_

She could see his familiar outline coming from around the corner, he was alone this time though unlike this morning which meant no one could save her if he indeed saw her.

The sound of his sandals scratching against the pavement grew closer, he would see her now surely. She stepped back somewhat into the shadows of the light pole where the light didn't illuminate cobblestone.

But Natsu kept walking by, beginning to whistle a small tune as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. Lucy blinked, turning back to watch him in a mix of surprise and hurt as he kept going without a halt.

' _He really didn't see me?'_

The tightness in her throat grew worse.

- **X-**

"I'm sorry Natsu, Lucy is still running a fever so she can't tutor and study with you today either. I'll let her know you stopped by though!" Levy explained as cheerfully as she could.

That was the fourth time this week.

' _Alright, Plan B. I'll use the window to see how 'sick' she is for myself once Levy heads out for her classes.'_ Natsu smiled to himself.

Levy waited until he was fully out of site down the hall before groaning, pouting out her cheeks as she turned around to face Lucy, head currently buried underneath a mass of sheets until she peeked her head out once the door closed.

"So…you know he's going to come back once I leave, right?" Levy hummed.

Lucy warily nodded. "I really am sick though, why doesn't he believe it?" ' _He was doing a good job of keeping his distance before.'_

Levy arched a brow, shrugging on her cardigan and shoes. "We _ **are**_ talking about the same Natsu, aren't we? The one who comes to see you or gets to the room _**before**_ even you and me at times?"

For once, her already flustered face from the fever disguised the blush she could feel heating her cheeks.

"Levy, you can't go! How am I supposed to face Natsu looking like this if he really does return?" She practically whined, voice far too crackly and dry in her attempt to be serious.

Levy shook her head, hazel eyes sparkling way too mischievously. "And what's the big deal if he _**does**_ see you like this, huh?"

Lucy paused, retort falling apart. "Well, err…nothing I guess."

"Good! If you need anything, just text me! I'll be stopping by the pharmacy on my way back from Gajeel's after class." She chirped out.

' _What I need is for you to not leave me alone with him…'_ Lucy griped internally, lazy rolling over in her sheets. The room still felt cold, despite her putting on her winter pajamas and snuggling into the warmest things she could find.

Sweat beaded and stickily clung to the front strands of her blonde hair, making her reach and wipe them away with her towel for the umpteenth time.

She had just started to slip in and out of sleep again when a sharp tapping came from her window. Lucy didn't bother to open her eyes, Natsu always used the same tapping pattern to signal his arrival.

Levy had turned off the air, cracking the window open slightly to let in some of the cool breeze.

And Lucy watched through half-lidded eyes as Natsu maneuvered his hand through the opening to pull said window open more to get in.

"Hey Luce, so this is where you've been just cooping yourself up these past couple of days? I knew it had to be some pretty bad cold if you had to start taking leave from your classes!" Natsu asked.

' _I can always feign sleep, once he sees I'm fine maybe he'll go.'_

But Natsu reached a hand out to brush the covers off her face, hand resting atop her forehead for a moment.

Okay, so he wasn't going to leave _**that**_ **e** asily.

"Hmm, you really do feel hot, but I guess you must be cold seeing as you cocooned yourself into a bundle of blankets." He went on.

Lucy remained silent, she could feel Natsu's continued stare on her despite him going quiet.

"Lucy if you don't say something I'll take it as I have your permission to stay here until Levy comes back!" He cheered.

The admission made her immediately sit up in alarm, fixing him with a sharp glare. "No it doesn't moron!"

Natsu grinned, leaning an arm against her bed. "Oh good, you _**were**_ awake."

Lucy rolled her eyes, shifting off the covers herself. "Well as you can see; I actually am sick. I don't want you to get my strep throat. Levy's already begun coughing despite saying it was just allergies."

Natsu shook his head, instead wrapping his scarf around himself as if it were a mask. "You think wearing my scarf like this would protect me?"

"No." She answered flatly, despite the smile creeping up on her.

In spite of his face being covered, she could tell he was smiling back. Though it slowly started to fade and she cocked her head in confusion before he spoke up again.

"I know it was wrong of me to come here without letting you know beforehand, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I figured you were ignoring me after I made things weird so I-"

"Me? I haven't been avoiding you! I figured you were just getting busy what with your guild meetings and other schoolwork; I mean you didn't even see me when you walked by the library the other night!" Lucy interrupted.

Natsu furrowed a brow, pressing his lips together. "No Lucy, I saw you."

' _Then why didn't you say something?'_ She wanted to ask.

And as if reading her thoughts, he smirked and moved a hand forward to messy her hair affectionately. "You were trying to avoid me, remember? Though behind a light post isn't a good hiding spot, try the bushes next time!"

Lucy gulped, wanting to sink back down into her covers.

"But that's okay though! Because I decided you were right; I'm going to wait for you since I came up with my _**own**_ self-imposed rules for the school year! And don't worry, I thought them over carefully. He announced.

' _What?'_

Maybe her hearing was starting to go with her voice now.

"To explain, I'll wait a year for you like you wanted, even though I don't intend to still try to make you be a bit more lenient on _ **your**_ specific rules. In the meantime, I plan to make sure I'll be the only guy you'll want to date once we graduate and have jobs, sound good?" Natsu reasoned.

Lucy leaned her head into her hands, scoffing at his smirk and her heart's annoying thumping at his words. "And you just decided I would somehow think that plan was okay?"

Natsu's smirk slipped, scratching a hand through his pink hair unsurely and Lucy silently admonished herself for the enjoyment of seeing him get embarrassed again. "Well, I knew it wasn't going to be easy; but your worth it Luce!"

And it was hard to feign disdain at the seriousness of his tone. Her stomach flipped and fluttered as recollections and dreams swam through her mind.

' _Doesn't that medicine give you weird side effects, maybe that's why you've started acting so strange again? I think we should take a break from each other; or at least until you can get off those pills.' Loke mused._

 _It was the first time Loke suggested she go off her medicine._

' _You're the one who said I should refill my prescription though! And why another break; we just came out of one." Lucy snapped._

 _Loke looked sheepish for a moment, trailing his fingers over the rim of his glasses. "Yeah, but it was really only fun to have you take them and then say or do silly stuff in your drowsy state., the novelty has worn off on that."_

 _Lucy gritted her teeth, restraining back the urge to scream. "That was never my intention for taking them!"_

 _But yet she had still stopped; for him._

"Natsu, you're so…" Lucy trailed off. ' _Dumb, stupid, silly, foolish and you could be with any other girl so I don't know why you keep picking me.'_

"What is it; is your fever getting worse or something?" He questioned in concern at her abrupt stop, foreheads barely touching to have him check her again before she scrambled back.

Lucy shook her head, even with his clear disbelief. She smiled despite her tired state, averting her eyes to watch the wind carry the leaves.

"It's nothing Natsu."

-x-

 _Your thoughts with a review would be lovely (Hate it? Love it? Okay?) it would be greatly appreciated and thanks again as always for reading! Thanks to guest, Rosegarden212, serene2127, sahara1.8, and Soul-of-glass for their reviews last chapter! :D_


	4. Restlessly

**Chapter 4: Restlessly**

" _Don't move." Natsu whispered by the shell of her ear._

 _And Lucy shivered, leaning more into him._

 _Lips descended onto the curves of her breasts and she hurriedly swallowed the moan that nearly escaped._

" _No, I want to hear you, don't try to hide it or…I'll just stop teasing you." Natsu grunted, dragging his fingers over the button of her pants._

 _Lucy opened her eyes a fraction to look at him to him to see if he was bluffing, piercing dark eyes watching her carefully._

 _A lazy smile curled at her lips then. "You're joking."_

" _I'm not." He retorted._

 _Lucy shook her head with a light laugh, coiling her own hands from his chest towards his nether regions. Hands danced underneath the rim of his boxers before he slowly pushed her back. "You are, you wouldn't stop at this point…not with the way your body is reacting to me as well."_

 _His smirk returned at her easygoing answer, tugging away the remainder of their clothes. Her stomach rolled as her skin grew hot, intertwining her hands with Natsu's before he heated her insides as well._

 _Until he stopped._

" _Lucy?" Natsu asked, voice suddenly curious._

" _What?" She nearly hissed, straining to keep the impatience out of her voice. They were so close, she could almost_ _ **feel**_ _him…_

" _Does this mean I won your heart over?"_

"Lucy, wake up already!" Levy yelled by her ear and brown eyes snapped open in alarm. Dazedly she looked around, the site of their room coming back into focus. Her blankets were still wrapped around her, uncomfortably sticky as she squirmed out of them.

' _Where's Natsu?'_

An amused grin lighted Levy's features at her obvious confusion. "Had a good dream?"

"No! I mean, Natsu was here; wasn't he?! I know I saw him come through the window, I was awake; I swear!" Lucy sputtered, looking around. The window was closed once more, the only signs of entry being the slight smell of grass by the sill.

Levy shrugged, clearly not fully believing her. "If Natsu was here, he evidently didn't stay for long. All I know is maybe you shouldn't read too much erotica before bed, makes you _**say**_ things in your sleep!"

Her whole face must've gone crimson.

But she couldn't have been sleeping for _**that**_ long, she could still smell Natsu's presence on her clothes, in the room. Levy even held up a bottle of herbs he had left behind to apparently help her cold.

' _Get better.'_ She read the attachment.

Lucy forced herself to look properly back towards Levy, playing with the loose strands of her hair. Levy beamed, mimicking her action by messing with her own blue coils.

"So…what exactly was it that I said?" She squeaked.

Levy hummed, hopping off the floor rug to join Lucy on her bed. "Oh you know, enough."

Great.

She poked Levy's side enough for her to send her a pout at the sharp touch, straightening up. "We never speak of this again. Unless you want Gajeel to know about the dreams you've had about _**him.**_ "

Levy flustered, biting her lip as if to weigh whether saying more was worth the risk, before nodding with a small grin. Her hazel eyes still held mischief.

Because this surely couldn't be over that easy without some more teasing between the rest of the girls.

"I already forgot what we were talking about."

-X-

Two days pass before Lucy sees Natsu again.

The plan is to keep that dream at the very back of her mind, buried by the distraction of schoolwork, papers, and just about anything else that she can use to not think about it or him.

"Lucy, can I borrow a pencil?" Natsu whispered loudly by her ear.

Inevitably though, said plan is failing.

Math is one of her weaker subjects and it doesn't help that Natsu decided they could share in that weakness together by taking the class with her.

' _Don't move…'_

A race of shivers ran up her spine, just when she had _**finally**_ gotten the dream out of her thoughts, when she could sleep again without thinking those images would taunt her…

"Here." She grumbled, nearly tossing it at him without looking. He responded with a light ouch and Lucy turned halfway to see the black indent of lead on his arm.

And his eyes watching her in annoyance.

"Geez, you could've handed it to me properly! Are you still sick or something?" Natsu questioned, brushing off the remnants of the pencil's mark.

' _Yes, I'm sick in the sense you're staying on my mind too much.'_

"I'm just tired is all, by the way; why did you leave the other day without saying anything?" Lucy brought up.

Natsu's gaze softened, leaning back in his chair quietly briefly as their professor passed their seats. Lucy discreetly glanced towards his paper and saw he was oddly already done with their assignment, formulas and equations though messily written, showed all of his work.

How?

Natsu beamed cheekily once their professor was out of earshot, following her gaze. "Luce, if you want to cheat off of me, it will have to come with a _**price**_."

Lucy scoffed, though she could feel a painfully familiar blush creeping up on her. "If I wanted like a fifty or below, I could do that on my own."

Natsu feigned a hurt look and she giggled, burying her face into the sleeves of her jacket before it echoed into the silence of the classroom.

' _This is why I didn't want Natsu and me to be in so many classes together. I've only gotten barely halfway through the practice problems and he's apparently done.'_

"Alright class, we have about 20 minutes left. I want you all to partner up with the person beside you to write out and solve the problem I assign you on the boards." Their professor called out.

A flood of groans filled the air and Lucy sighed, reluctantly glancing towards Natsu to get this over with. He sat beside for situations just like this after all…

Only to find he wasn't there.

"Natsu?" She murmured, standing up.

Amidst the bustle of students hurrying to get the assignment over with and go, she saw his trademark salmon hair and a wave of dark hair next to him, clutching at his arm tightly.

And she sucked in a quick breath as the woman turned to send her a faint smile. Her stomach churned the more she stared at the odd scene. She was leaning in purposefully, closely to whisper to him as they began writing out their problem.

She looked away before Natsu saw her frown.

-X-

"I don't know Lucy, you would have to ask him." Gray repeated.

Lucy huffed, saying nothing. His answer felt hollow and she forced herself to ask the same tired question that had been plaguing her as much as she hated to admit it. "Aren't you his friend?"

"Sometimes."

She gritted her teeth then. "Be serious!"

This irritating, sharp sick feeling isn't going away despite a day already passing since the math incident, studying can only engross her for so long and finally she leaves the library after another bout of all day studying. At least maybe her history group doesn't hate her _**as**_ much now after she showed them her notes, though it's hard to shake the coldness of their gazes out of her eyes knowing they could do harm to her or Natsu in the near future.

" _You're too distracted tonight Lucy; just go home."_

" _I'm fine honestly; I'm just as much a part of this project as you guys are so stop trying to push me out!" Lucy retorted, emphasizing her design of a map of Magnolia's landscape 100 years._

 _Flare shrugged, crimson eyes dismissively looking away with a grim, sardonic smile. "Even with all the work you've put in you're still distracted by your Fairy Tail boy toy."_

" _Natsu isn't a part of this! I don't understand your hatred to the guild, him or me. I'm not even a member!" Lucy snapped, banging a fist against the table making her slightly jump before she let out a strange giggle._

" _Perhaps it's a good thing you're not…"_

 _And she couldn't get any further answers as to why out of any of them,_

But on the way back to her room she runs into Gray and Juvia, their voices are whispered hushes and she almost considers pulling the same stunt she tried with Natsu to hide away, but then it occurs to her…

Gray is probably the only person who could have the answers she wants.

So here they were now, pulled aside to the nearest bench with her lacking a proper way to ask what her heart so badly wanted to know.

Nights in Magnolia, especially in the springtime like this bring out the scent of blooming water lilies and orchids, fragrance lighting the air despite the burning in her chest.

"Lucy, I honestly don't know from your description who that woman is. Natsu's made plenty of enemies, I don't keep track of all them!" Gray griped.

The term 'enemy' makes her wince. Natsu is popular in and outside of the campus' walls, just about everybody recognizes his name or at least his face.

' _Not to mention his hotheaded attitude has landed him in trouble before…'_

"And anyways, why do you think _**my**_ Gray would care so much about you and Natsu's love life problems?" Juvia added in to join the discussion.

' _This isn't going the way I pictured it.'_

The conversation is getting horribly off subject into her least favorite territory, a dull ache in the back of her sharply reminds her to stay on track no matter what.

"Is it because of Fairy Tail?" Lucy abruptly asked, remembering her groups' earlier conversation.

Gray quirked a brow and she saw his blue eyes darken briefly. Juvia pursed her lips in the same fashion, a slight frown sketching her face.

"Possibly." He eventually said.

Lucy sighed, leaning back in her seat. Back when they were freshman, she had been so excited at the thought of joining Fairy Tail, it had even been one of the reasons why she had picked Magnolia University due to its closeness to the association. The elusive guild in Natsu's words was "the best damn thing I've ever put on my resume!"

He proudly showed off the guild's tattoo to anybody who questioned it.

Including probably rival groups like Raven Tail or Sabertooth.

And thinking more about it, it seemed like everyone she knew was a member. It wasn't that hard to join; the guild only required that you maintain a 2.0 GPA (something even Natsu could do) and that you at least attended one of their four monthly meetings held weekly.

' _Why didn't I join again?'_ She asked herself.

A twinge of pain shot through her head as she tried to think. They had monthly dues she couldn't afford at the time, and their meetings often ran late into the night at times.

' _My insomnia would have messed up me making it to any events, like usual.'_

She had had to bury another desire away due to it.

Besides, becoming a member now would mess with her goals, if Natsu wasn't at his classes or his apartment, he would be there.

"I think you should get some rest Lucy. Juvia knows how hard you've been pushing yourself, Levy told Juvia _**everything**_." Juvia patted her arm comfortingly, murmuring the last part lowly enough for Gray not to hear and Lucy jumped before blushing.

"What _**everything**_?!" Lucy restrained back a hiss.

The smile she gave in return definitely didn't help. "Don't get too mad at Levy, Juvia became concerned at seeing how much long hours you spent at the library. I asked her what was going on with you and pressured her for answers until she gave in…" Juvia explained.

Well at least Levy had triedto keep it a secret.

"Juvia, since you're heading in the same direction as Lucy, make sure she doesn't go stressing herself out too much." Gray pointed out, standing up to leave.

' _Natsu isn't letting me hear the end of it after all.'_ He considered with a scowl, waving to them both before beginning to walk in the opposite direction.

"Wait Gray, Juvia wanted to still take a nighttime stroll with you!" Juvia called after him, beaming as Gray flustered when she latched back onto him.

"Minerva." A familiar voice answers.

Lucy blinked, glancing around. All she sees is the wind scattering leaves and petals across the cobblestone.

But then shades and burnt orange hair come into view and she gulped, boots skidding back as he approached.

Loke.

She eyed him warily, no woman were latched to his sides like she expected, hands instead buried deeply in his pockets as he looked her up and down before smirking.

"Don't look at me like that!" She growled.

Loke paused, smirk fading. "Ah, only Natsu can look at you that way; huh?"

Her cheeks grew hot at the remark, but she didn't back down. "Were you the one who said Minerva; who's that?"

"The woman who was trying to come on to Natsu the other day. You wanted to know; didn't you?" He asked bluntly.

' _It makes sense that_ _ **he**_ _would know; he knows about every woman on campus whether or not they've even met him.'_ Lucy regarded bitterly.

And it felt too risky to blindly trust his words; he'd broken that enough times already…

"We can take a simple walk together; can't we? I'll tell you all that I know to at least help you clear up this worry you're having." Loke brought up hesitantly.

"I'm not worried." Lucy countered calmly, fists tightening within the cusps of her jeans. She played with the strands of her tan sweater rather than looking into his knowing gaze.

"Besides, Juvia and I are about to head back to Fairy Hills-"She mumbled on, looking back for her friend only to find see far off in the distance with Gray.

Well perfect.

Loke chuckled as she turned back to face him. "What do you have to lose?"

-X-

Minerva she learns is one of the popular top officers in Sabertooth's guild.

She's dangerous and from rumors, enjoys sadistic games with those who attempt to cross her. Loke's description of their guild's emblem reminds her of the similar ones she's seen on her history group's skin. Everybody tends to hide their guild's tattoo from others unless they boldly don't mind others knowing (like Natsu), a target tends to get on your back once people know where your loyalties lie.

And by connection, she was getting into the crossfire.

But Loke doesn't know why people like Minerva are even attending a school with such close ties to Fairy Tail in the first place except that maybe something big is being planned to take the guild down.

"It shouldn't matter to you who Natsu dates though, right? You're not dating any men for the year to keep your grades up." Loke brings up to change the subject.

And Lucy bit her lip, keeping quiet.

"…You haven't taken your sleeping medicine either. I can see the bags under your eyes even with the concealer you used. Everybody needs their beauty sleep Lucy, I don't know why you don't just use that over-the-counter stuff." Loke went on.

' _I've already tried all those methods. All those supposed 'home remedies' that's made to help people to sleep? None of them worked…'_

Tears pricked her eyes at the thought of her going through another week of fitful sleeps. She could go to the school nurse again, though then someone would surely see her and wonder what was going on. It would get traced to her friends and Natsu would worry again.

"You don't understand." She huffed under her breathe, but Loke heard it.

Loke scoffed, crossing his hands behind his head.

"Yeah, and apparently I never will. Back when we dated, there were things about you that I never knew anyways, things that _**only**_ Natsu knew."

' _Huh?'_

"Natsu knew things about your childhood you never shared with anyone else, your family's secrets, and your favorite hiding spots. But mainly your hopes and dreams…things you never shared with _**me.**_ " He explained.

A pang of guilt pressed against her heart at the bitterness in his tone.

Natsu without her fully realizing it had become her confidante. He had helped her when she first moved in to Fairy Hill's dorms and toured her around the city, at some point it had just been easy to slip in to telling him bits of her past.

"I-I'm sorry; I didn't know you felt that way, but Natsu and I are just friends. And while I may have told him those things, he doesn't know _**the whole rest.**_ "

Loke smiled a bit sadly then. "True."

They grew quiet then, Loke escorting them back to her dorms.

"Natsu always liked to remind me he knew those things about you. Jealousy would flicker in his eyes just like it did when I mentioned Minerva to you; it's not the first time things like this have happened either. You two have a bond and yet…well no dating for a whole year is going to be rough on you both."

' _Yeah.'_ Her thoughts answered.

"And you don't think you'll break?" He mused at her blank expression.

A smile quirked her lips then, same old question; same old response.

"Nope; that's why the plan's in place! All my dates will be with textbooks because right now it's A's over guys for me!"

For once, Loke seemed to believe her cheery lie.

-X-

' _I hate taking the bus.'_

Natsu nearly rolled out of his seat back onto the ground for the third time, head spinning and gut flipping with each bump they passed over. The nausea medicine just wasn't kicking in as fast as he would've hoped.

He had wanted to walk back to his apartment as usual, but then that _ **woman**_ would've followed.

' _Mire or something was her name, all she did was ask me questions about Fairy Tail. Shit, I hope some threat hasn't been growing underneath my nose this whole time…'_

She had warned him after all that Fairy Tail would soon no longer be the popular guild everyone flocked to for membership.

He tried sitting up in his seat again, gaze wandering to out the window to keep his mind off his stomach. It was lucky that he was able to catch the last bus that made circles around the campus at different pit stops, silver glow of moonlight filtering in over the empty seats around him.

Few students were out and about as the bus drove slowly on, but his eyes narrowed as the bus came to one of its usual stops in front of Fairy Hills, blonde hair tied back with a familiar ribbon came into sight in and he blinked.

' _Lucy?'_

She holds a fake smile upon her face as she gives a small wave to a figure. He followed her stare towards Loke and grimaced.

The difference goes unnoticed by him.

Natsu pulled out his phone as the bus purred on, heading towards his messages to send her a text. Lucy hasn't been really answering him lately, only giving him short one word responses that she's busy or in the middle of class.

" **Hey, are you still up?"**

Short and to the point.

And to his surprise a few minutes later his phone buzzes with a response.

" **Yeah, just got in from another round of studying in the library."**

A part of him wants to ask why she was with Loke and why she's upset. His fingers hover over the letters anxiously, mind swirling with questions.

But instead he asks what's she's been studying and upcoming assignments. Boring, safe topics that only leave him restless.

Until the image of Loke pops into his mind and he scowls.

" **Can we do another tutoring session together? Over those mnemonics you taught me for science technology? I've been trying to find my old notes you gave me from the last time, but…"**

It's a long time before she answers that message, the bus screeches to the final stop: his apartments before he gets a reply.

" **But you lost them? Alright I guess; I'm free around 1 to 3 tomorrow anyways."**

And the queasiness in his stomach disappears as he reads the message over and over with a smile.

-X-

"Are you really studying?" Lucy questioned warily.

Natsu beamed, holding up a page full of notes for proof. "Yes, why do you keep asking?"

Lucy wrinkled her nose, feeling her face flush. "Because…you keep staring at me."

"Yeah, I know!" He replied easily.

She looked down back at her section of notes, rolling her eyes. ' _Stupid goofy grin.'_

"Oh before I forget, there's this new app Levy told me about called Pyrotechnic! It covers and studies the effects of fire in everyday life. I figure it will help you with your degree." Lucy brought up.

Her thoughts wandered while Natsu downloaded the app, devious grins she never noticed until now, cold gazes and sneering remarks behind her back…

"Loke told me, about that woman." Lucy murmured.

Natsu glanced up from his phone, dark eyes becoming serious. "Hmm, so that's why you were with him the other night? Any threats to Fairy Tail I'll put a stop to you know; you could've asked me if you were so curious."

"Though maybe you didn't want to since you've been grumpy since that day in Math…I hope Minerva wasn't putting any ideas in your head." He mused gently.

Anger spiked in her at his bluntness, that he could so easily read her time and again. Loke's words echoed through her mind. ' _Jealousy would flicker in yours and his eyes…'_

Lucy gulped, threading her words carefully. Softly. "Why does it matter I asked him? You spend time around other women I'm sure, besides you know we've long since broken up."

Natsu leaned his head against his palm, small smile returning. "But all I want is _**you**_ , silly."

Her heart quivered and she sighed, listlessly pretending not to feel or hear it. Her body ached in a similar fashion as if she were back in her dreams before she crushed it.

And Natsu knew he wasn't going to get an answer anyways. Her resolution to restrain back her feelings still hung over them and so they went back to their separate work again; as if nothing was ever said.

-x-

 _Thanks for reading as usual, feel free to drop me your thoughts because as you all know, I love hearing from you guys! And let me just say, wow to 75 follows and 45 favorites; you guys are amazing! :D_


	5. This Almost Date

**Chapter 5: This Almost Date**

"Lucy stop fidgeting, you're measurements aren't going to come out correctly!" Levy griped from her side.

"I never said yes to this either!" Lucy huffed, but straightened up nonetheless as she wanted.

' _These plans weren't what I had in mind anyways.'_ She mused, glancing back over to her calendar. It'd been about 3 months now, three long months of promising herself no more men, no more dating.

But now, Saturday night posed a threat to all of those self-made plans.

"Lucy, you deserve this break after all the studying and work you've been doing. One 77weekend without worrying about your homework is just what you need to get rid of your stress! Besides…Natsu's going to be there to!" Levy hummed, hazel eyes sparkling as she pressed another dress into her arms.

Heat tinged her cheeks and Lucy immediately turned to Juvia for some help, sighing when all she saw was her twirling an aquamarine gown in front of herself while murmuring Gray's name giddily.

And she bit back a smile at her antics as Levy joined in; their excitement truly was infectious.

After all, seniors got to be in the _**best of the best**_ events for Fairy Tails' annual spring festival to celebrate the guild's anniversary. From being the ones who got to choose the theme and setting up all the main events, it was a whole week's worth of games and shows leading up to the grand party for Saturday.

And for this year's, the theme was a Night in Fiore.

She glanced back down at the dress Levy had given her, another sleeveless light pink gown with a white ribbon along the waist.

For a brief moment she pictured Natsu's expression seeing her in such an outfit, the dress left little to the imagination with the curves and bust line it gave off…

' _No, No, No. It's not about impressing him!'_ She yelled at her thoughts. Her heart hammered in her ears though, reminded of a buried text within the slew of her messages.

Because despite her shared eagerness for a night out with her friends, her stomach stirred nervously with a secret dread.

The spring festival was the perfect opportunity for any rival groups to come make a move.

' _Maybe it's a good thing you're not in Fairy Tail…'_

A cold shiver ran over her, and she shook the vile thought away as Juvia bounded over to her.

"Lucy, try more of your dresses on too! We all need to look good for the pictures we'll be taking!" She complained, dragging her back towards an empty dressing room.

In the privacy behind the plush curtains, she pulled out her phone again.

" _ **Want to come to anniversary party with me on Saturday?"**_

Natsu had sent that to her yesterday morning.

And he knew she had read it too, gazing up at her from across the street during their usual walk to breakfast.

It's sunny and cold like most early mornings at this time of year in Magnolia, yellow streaks light the buildings and cast a faint glow against the trees and cobblestone.

Her fingers felt numb despite being buried in the warmth of lavender mittens as she pulled her phone out to read the message while the wind scattered her hair as she turned back to face him to gauge his look.

He gave a small wave and grin, mouthing "Think about it!" before she can even stammer out some response in return.

A couple of minutes pass of her standing still before she realizes there's no good excuse to give him _**not**_ to go.

All of her assignments for the week have been turned in or aren't due until mid to late next week. No upcoming deadlines, no projects…

' _Going with him would mean it's a date though, right? Breaking one of my own rules?'_ She questioned herself.

He probably thought it was a no with her lack of a response now.

She read over his message again, searching for any double meanings or implications despite knowing Natsu didn't flirt that way (he was much more direct) she hung out with him alone and with their shared friends plenty of times.

' _But not like this.'_ Her thoughts answered and her face burned once more.

" _ **Sorry I'm replying back late, I'm curious about going; I've never actually been really deep into the activities Fairy Tail puts on. Can I even go; I'm not even an official member?"**_

Juvia tosses another dress over the door as his reply comes in.

" _ **You'll be my guest; it will be fine. Unless you have another 'date' with your homework or reading for next month's assignments. Of course; I can get your mind off of all of that."**_

Lucy gulped, fingers trembling.

If he thought she was just going to back down from such a statement…

" _ **Fine, surprise me then. In a way only YOU can."**_

And before she can think about it more or even read it twice over, the message is sent.

-X-

"Lucy's challenging me." Natsu repeats.

Gray barely looked away from his computer, ignoring as his loud voice bounced off the walls. He only had two hours left to turn in this online essay for Biology and Natsu paid no mind to his continued lack of response for him to clearly go away, plopping down beside him eagerly.

"Yippee." He finally answered dryly.

Natsu scoffed, leaning his head against his palm. The air conditioner silently ruffled up his hair gently and he frowned, wrinkling his nose at the dust that blew up.

Why did he always have to keep his room so cold?

"You know, you could at least _**pretend**_ to care. Weren't you a bit mildly happy when Juvia confessed to you?" He pointed out.

Gray paused, swerving in his chair to face him. "That's different; Juvia has confessed to me every day since sophomore year."

Natsu arched a brow, smirking at the bit of pink that tinged his cheeks. "Is it really now? It doesn't seem to bother you anymore as much as you complained before."

Gray brushed a hand through his black hair, either he would have to tell Natsu _**again**_ to politely go away to let him finish his work in peace or he was going to get into another fist fight to make him go away.

And he was slowly starting to lean towards the latter the more he kept yapping away about Lucy and Saturday…

But then a thought abruptly occurred to him and his blue eyes flickered mischievously.

This constant going over the same text over and over again, Natsu's odd fidgeting whenever his plans for leading up to weekend were mentioned…

' _Is this idiot nervous?'_

Before he even has a chance to hide his grin, Natsu notices.

"Oh, so this is funny to you? You aren't exactly cool and perfect when Juvia is hanging on you!" He growled.

Gray restrained back a roll of his eyes, he could be mature about this. Probably…

"It's not like you to be nervous about being around Lucy is all, you break into her apartment all the time and she tutors you because she knows how dumb you are sadly."

There's a brief look of annoyance at hearing said remark, Natsu cracks his knuckles warningly though doesn't say anything more.

"Lucy's…she's been hiding something; I can't screw up the opportunity to find out what it is. This is a real chance for her to open up to me." He murmured.

" _Please Gray, don't tell Natsu. It's Lucy's secret to share and her alone. Juvia said too much so now you have to share the burden as well…" Juvia begged._

If said promise wasn't hanging over him still, he would have been up front with him a long time ago. At least about Lucy's sleeping problems…

So instead he roughly punched his shoulder to snap him out of his worried state and once more he saw the familiar glow of crimson in his eyes at him pushing his rage.

And he made no effort to move from said fist he sent him back.

Natsu paused, fist still balled; black eyes growing wide in a mix of horror and confusion. "What the hell Gray?! You could've avoided that!"

Gray shrugged, wincing at the growing bruise he could tell would form soon. Juvia was going to be so mad at him now that he would have a bandaged cheek. "I figured you needed _**some**_ outlet for your self-pitying, frustrations, and worries."

When Natsu said nothing, he went on. "Saturday night will be fine, just act like you always do around Lucy and she'll relax as well."

Natsu snorted, looking off from him before he saw his blush. "Yeah, I know that already. I want it to be perfect though."

' _We all do.'_ Gray considered, standing up to get some ice from his nearby cooler. Natsu considered him odd for keeping such a thing in his room while he thought he was equally strange for always wanting the heat on, even in the summer.

"Anyways, do you feel better now?" He grumbled over his shoulder.

"Yup!" Natsu cheered out and he found himself chuckling at how easy he switched between moods.

"Good. Now shut up and leave my room so I can finish my work."

-X-

' _It's gotten this late already?'_ Lucy sighed, checking her watch again.

12:18 am.

She had hoped the all the shopping and being on her feet would tire her out faster, she did feel sleepy after all.

Just not enough to actually _**stay**_ asleep.

Maybe it was her anxiety building up again, after much persuasion she had agreed to help Levy and Juvia with setting up the decorations and food Saturday morning into the afternoon.

" _I'm not even an actual member of Fairy Tail though, won't I get in trouble for being there? Besides, I figured you guys were going to be participating or leading in the whole Retro party and casino night planned for Friday?" Lucy sputtered._

 _Levy shook her head rapidly. "No way Lucy, you know I'm a more behind the scenes, write out the script type of person! Also, the guild master won't care you're there with how many guests are going to be mingling about!"_

 _Well, she had her there. Lucy turned to Juvia for her excuse as to why she wasn't in one of the more exciting groups who only smiled broadly._

" _Juvia is only taking part in the decorations committee because Gray mentioned he was going to make ice sculptures!"_

 _Of course._

Her stomach tightened as she gazed back down at her fake tattoo meant to try and keep her calm about not being a real member, moonlight filtered in on it through the blinds. The pink emblem of Fairy Tail looked permanent to anybody's quick glance.

But she knew better, the mark would easily fade after a good two or three washes.

" _It's not permanent ink Lucy, you know I'm an expert at this. I do designs like that on Gajeel's skin all the time!" Levy boasted._

She buried her hand back underneath the covers, she wished she could be excited as her friends, to be as giddy about spending a night out with their boyfriends…

And her face grew hot at Natsu being her said 'boyfriend' for the night.

' _No, you're just going as friends and getting your mind off your studies for one night.'_ She corrected herself.

The silly, hormone-laced dreams about him hadn't been as strong as of late. Good thing too with how often she had been around him.

How long would that last though after Saturday night?

Because a comfortable heat always seemed to form in the pits of her chest imagining him close, kissing, touching, exploring her…

Lucy closed her eyes, breathing in evenly to stop the thoughts. Natsu wouldn't do anything without her permission, without her making the first move…

Would she get weak, she wondered. She could already picture the scent of sweat, sex, and booze in the air. It came with the territory of parties like this, no matter how much anyone tried to stop it.

Not to mention rival groups would be lurking around too.

She shook it off, avoiding straying her eyes back to the clock. The sleep medicine would kick in soon enough and she would head off to her science class in the morning.

For once, she wanted to at least say she had been to one of Fairy Tails' infamous parties.

-X-

"I'm surprised you're not more excited about this; I figured this type of thing would have you interested." Minerva crooned.

Rufus peered up from his book, smile barely visible beneath his matching velvet red hat and mask.

"Oh, and what makes you think that? Fairy Tails' parties never amazed me _**that**_ much."

Minerva grinned even more, lips curling suggestively. "That's because you've never been there when _**I**_ got involved."

Rufus arched a brow then, pinning the page in his book to give her his full attention. "Surely you don't think you're the only one planning something, right? It would be such a tragedy if your plans for 'fun' were spoiled before the night truly even began by another opposing group. I mean, it's not like you're the _**first**_ to try something and have it spectacularly end up failing."

Minerva rolled her eyes, expression unfazed. "Nobody has done what I have in mind to do; trust me on this."

After all, she had been watching carefully and attending every one of Fairy Tails' events this week that she could. Blending within the crowds of fervor excitement to hear the passing whispers of their members and those interested in possibly joining.

It's disgusting how many people seem to be so in love with said guild.

But this year would be different, all of Fairy Tails' top officers would be distracted by their dates for the anniversary gala. Gray would have Juvia hanging around him all throughout the night, Gajeel wouldn't be too far from Levy, and there were even rumors Jellal was back in town which would tie up Erza.

Minerva smiled the more she thought about it, crossing off each of their highest ranking members as they came to mind.

' _Even that moron Natsu will be preoccupied with that Heartfilia girl. Hanging off of him during math class was the perfect catalyst for him to start seriously making a move and for her to take a chance on him.'_

Everything was in place, nothing would get in the way of her plans for Saturday night.

-X-

One hour.

A whole 60 minutes until Natsu would be outside the dorms to take her to the party. (Or her window, his text never specified exactly where.)

' _Okay just breathe, everything has already been taken care of. Hair is done, dress is ready, and I just have to put on my make-up and shoes…'_ Lucy reminded herself.

Though the fluttering in her stomach doesn't leave despite how much she keeps running it through her mind.

"You're just hanging out for the night, it's no different from the other times. It doesn't mean you're slipping up in your plans to not get involved with anybody…" She whispered aloud.

But she _**is**_ starting to question herself on why she let Levy and Juvia go on ahead without her, not wanting to hold them up from their own dates.

At least her reflection doesn't seem to portray any of this worry and anxiety, having slept for a majority of the afternoon after finishing helping with the decorations and putting in a few hours at the campus bookstore. She shifted through her make-up box idly, searching for the best shades to match her attire.

Near the bottom in between a jumbled mix of old lipsticks and nail polish she finds the light pink gloss she's looking for.

' _Okay, steady...'_

KNOCK, KNOCK! Natsu's familiar tap by the window.

And just like that, lipstick is now on her chin.

Lucy immediately felt her face going red, wiping away the smear with the nearest towel hurriedly. She doesn't even want to see his expression if he just witnessed how jumpy she gotten all from his usual tapping.

"You're like 45 minutes early; I'm not even ready yet!" Lucy complained, nonetheless opening the window to let him in.

She flustered briefly over his appearance, black slacks with a pressed red button up top and matching black blazer.

And luckily he hadn't seem to notice her staring, plopping down on her bed as he removed Happy from his side.

"Sorry, sorry, but you know your dorm's stupid policy against pets! It would have been much harder to greet you at the front entrance if they knew Happy was with me!" Natsu replied.

Lucy frowned, abruptly noticing Happy's presence with him. Said cat meowed in greeting, fur neatly brushed with a green bandana holding Fairy Tails' symbol imprinted on it.

' _Don't tell me even a cat was an official member of Fairy Tail before me…'_ Lucy considered.

"Anyways, you look mostly ready to me! What else do you even have to do?" Natsu asked, breaking her from her thoughts and Lucy reddened, pointing back to her mirror.

"Finish putting on my make-up, jewelry, and then just my shoes." She murmured.

Natsu leaned in close to her and she stiffened as he sniffed her, leaning back slightly until he spoke again. "Hmm, do you really need all that stuff? You've always looked good even without all that powder and junk on you."

Lucy pouted, retort dancing on her tongue despite his compliment. But then she recalled how easy it was for Natsu to pick up on scents, maybe the addition of mascara would be too overpowering…

"Fine, but I'm still putting on my earrings and necklace!" She huffed.

Natsu spun her back around just as turned to head back to the dresser, expression going serious.

"You look good Luce, you really went all out for _**me**_." He remarked coolly and unabashedly.

There was an undeniable possessive in his tone and her heart loudly thumped against her chest. All over again she was being reduced to a stuttering and blushing mess.

"I-It's a special night, I don't want to make you look bad in front of your friends." Lucy supplied.

The excuse comes out just as weak as she expected.

Natsu blinked before grinning warmly, squeezing her hand gently. "Oh, you could never do that! I can't wait for you to meet them!"

She nodded in return, keeping his gaze in spite of her stomach's flipping.

"Natsu…" Lucy began slowly.

"Hmm?" Natsu questioned.

"I need _**both**_ my hands to finish getting ready." Lucy finishes, and Natsu frowned before quickly letting go.

"Oh right, sorry."

She watched as he headed back over to Happy who had taken to exploring her textbooks with a bit too much interest.

And she giggled under her breathe, maybe she wasn't alone in her nervousness.

-X-

"So, when did you join Fairy Tail?" Natsu asks as they turn another corner on the streets.

Lucy sent him a perplexed look, furthering Natsu's grin as he pointed out her tattoo. "Don't think I didn't notice earlier! I knew you would eventually give in and join, but tonight you could've came as my guest and everything would've been fine."

Lucy laughed weakly, remembering how she had been covering up said 'tattoo' all week with a mix of long sleeves and jackets. The mark had stayed relatively well together, Levy only having to redo it once more before she left out with Gajeel.

"Um, well maybe only a few days I guess? I wanted it to be a surprise." Lucy mustered up as an excuse.

"Well it's a great surprise! Now you can attend guild-only activities with me when you get the chance!" He offered excitedly.

Lucy let him go off on a tangent, swallowing back the lump in her throat that spending more time together like that would only mess up her plans even more.

For tonight though, she was trying to push said negative thoughts away. If only because she knew she wanted this.

"Parties like these normally last into the early morning hours, I hope you didn't have any big plans for tomorrow." Natsu went on to which Lucy shook her head.

The strode in silence the rest of the way there, Lucy brushing closer to him for warmth while Happy kept in stride front of them. The night wind made her shiver despite the how hot her face felt with Natsu's continued stare on her every few seconds. The moon being obscured by the clouds at least made it hard for him to see her.

Music broke through the air as they reached the entrance, crowds of people were huddled in and outside as streams of light flickered from the dancehall.

"Hey gramps! This is Lucy, though you've probably already met her, huh?" Natsu called out to Makarov from amid one of the crowds.

"Err, well we haven't exactly met." Lucy started timidly, almost wanting to just tell the truth now.

But Makarov sent her a wink, waving it off. "Ah, so this is the woman you've spoken of so often. It's nice to officially meet you again Lucy! As you know, running this guild can get a bit hectic keeping up with all of you."

Lucy smiled in relief, thankfully nodding. Perhaps he recognized Levy's handiwork from the get go.

"Now, don't have _**too**_ much fun tonight! You're both still relatively teenagers in my eyes and have other responsibilities to take care of-"Makarov lectured before Natsu moved to brush past him.

"Sorry gramps, got to get going and catch up with the others!" Natsu called out over the noise, keeping Lucy in tow with him.

' _Ugh, that could've gone horribly wrong if we listened any longer.'_ He scowled, looking over to Lucy who was more into the sights going on around them.

"So the salamander dragged the bunny of her hole…" Gajeel remarked, the first to notice their presence out of their circle of friends. His statement made Levy turn, eyes lighting up as she rushed over to the pair.

"Lucy, you made it! Ah, the dress looks so great on you! You didn't have any problems getting in, did you?" She asked fervently.

Lucy laughed shaking her head, casually wiped away the beads of sweat sticking to her sapphire hair. Clearly she and Gajeel had already gone through a couple of fast dances together or guzzled a bit of the punch.

"Where's Juvia at?" Lucy questioned over the noise looking for her other azure haired friend. Levy shrugged, leaning back onto to Gajeel before she collapsed.

"Last I saw she was at the food table with Gray, but then they might have gone over to the bar or sports section, who knows really?!" She giggled happily.

Lucy sent Gajeel a sharp look who frowned. "I didn't know the punch was spiked until she drank it! Don't look at me like that!"

She sighed, smirking as she abruptly began to grind on Gajeel who reddened awkwardly. They could deal with the nasty repercussions of her hangover in the morning.

"Anyways, I'm going to tour Lucy around the place. Guess we'll catch up you two later; don't do anything naughty!" Natsu teased.

They both ignored the resounding curse they got from him in return.

The next hours breezed by in a blur, they found Gray and Juvia not too long after competing against each other in a mix of a drinking and card game while Mirajane and Cana took score. Erza had taken to sitting with Jellal in a booth far from the crowds while others were either asleep at nearby tables or watching reruns on TVs or their phones.

And sometime past 1:30 am, Lucy can feel the edge of sleep creeping up on her as well. Natsu has his arm comfortably around her waist, the DJ playing another slow song. There so close she's sure he can hear how fast her heart is going every time he dips her, how quick her breathe is moving when he murmurs in her ear, and yet he's said nothing of it yet.

Or even acted when their lips get dangerously too close.

It shouldn't hurt, but her heart clenches the more she thinks of it.

"You okay?" He mumbles, relaxing their movements to a halt and Lucy quickly nods. Natsu chuckled, brushing a messy curled lock from her face.

"If you're getting sleepy you can so, I can see it in your eyes." Natsu mused, dragging them away from the floor to one of the outside balconies.

"I'll get us some water while Happy watches over you." Natsu directed, guiding her to one of the chairs. Blurrily she stepped out of her shoes to let her feet breathe, picking up Happy as his fur began to tickle her legs.

"Meooow?"

"Don't tease me now Happy, I can tell which meows are different from the others…"

Lucy smiled, burying in to his fur, even his bandana held Natsu's lingering scent.

"What's wrong with me Happy? I had such a good time tonight, I met all these new people, and I didn't spend another night alone in my dorms and yet…" She trailed off, biting her lip.

"Why didn't…why didn't Natsu kiss me?" She whispered into his fur.

Saying such a question aloud did little to ease the ache in her chest like she wanted. Expected.

She got a small purr and meow again in return, allowing her to pet him a bit more before hopping out of her arms to stroll around the balcony.

Lucy stared after him as he sniffed around at the plants, rubbing her numbing fingers and closing her eyes to hide these tumultuous feelings she shouldn't have until she opened them again.

Only to be met with Natsu's deep gaze.

Auburn eyes widened, the room instantly began to spin.

' _He had heard it all…'_

-x-

 _Hope everything had a happy Thanksgiving and if you're out Black Friday shopping you don't get trampled lol. Thanks so much fafou14, zerophelia, Dark Horse, guest, and sarara1.8 for their reviews last chapter, you guys know I love hearing back from you all, send in any suggestions and thanks for reading as always!(50+ favorites and almost to the big 100 in follows! Thanks so much) :D_


	6. Kissing to be Clever

**Chapter 6: Kissing to be Clever**

' _He heard me. He knows. I'm caught…'_

And Lucy hurriedly swallows the ball of knots quickly growing in her chest.

There's no escaping from her feelings now.

Her voice is all but stuck in her throat and her heart is thundering loudly in her ears stronger than she's ever heard it.

Natsu keeps his eyes on her, grip tightening on the now forgotten water bottles he had brought for them.

"Do you mean that?" He questions earnestly. There's no hint of teasing to his tone, stepping closer to her until they're truly face to face. He guides her to stand back up and it becomes harder and harder to not look away.

"I-I err, well…um…" Lucy paused, face growing hot at her stammering. And much to her horror, Natsu gains a bemused expression over it.

"So you do then." He concludes with a smirk.

"No! I mean I never said yes!" Lucy huffed, despite how unconvincing that sounds. Natsu pressed a hand to her cheek, leaning in.

There's a warmth and passion in his eyes that somehow calms the restlessness in her stomach.

And through a half-lidded gaze he asks her the question that's been spiraling in the back of her mind all night.

"Can I Luce? Can I kiss you?"

Her breathing faltered just briefly, lips quivering at truly saying her desires aloud again.

"Yes."

Natsu tastes just as she's secretly imagined time and again. Lips hot and tinged with the smoky trace of an assortment of burnt foods.

She sighed, fingers dancing into his fuchsia hair while he pressed her closer. Slowly, the sound of the light beat of music died away into the background.

Natsu pulled away first for air, edge of his mouth now holding her telltale pink gloss. Lucy giggled, moving to wipe away the smear until a loud crackle pierced the air.

They both froze, glancing back inside towards the dancefloor.

It's a complete blackout.

Lucy pursed her lips, stomach coiling; Minerva was completing her threat as planned. ' _It's happening.'_

And Natsu didn't seem to know, glancing between her and the room in growing confusion and worry.

"I don't know what the heck is happening, but I'm going to go check it out!" Natsu stated in a rush, tossing off his jacket and cracking his knuckles.

Lucy turned to grab his arm just as he turned to go, squeezing it tighter when he attempted to break out of it.

"Hold on Natsu, it's dangerous to go into situations like this alone! I'm not going to sit here and wait with Happy if that's what you're thinking!" She hissed, emphasizing Happy's current position buried amongst a pot of flowers.

Natsu paused and for a moment Lucy assumed he would argue with her on this until he sighed and let out a laugh.

"You know, you can be such an ass when you're right Luce."

Lucy simply beamed in return, retaliating by digging a nail into his skin until he winced. "But you love it, right?"

It was a lighthearted joke, he knew; not meant to be taken seriously. Still though, his heart pulsed with want again to kiss her until her giggles became moans and his face reddened.

' _Yeah…'_

-X-

"Are you okay Makarov?" Lucy asked again.

His head sports the beginnings of a nasty bruise, a large gash staining his white hair a scarlet red. The smell of blood permeates the air not just from him, but all around them.

"I'm fine my child; I've gone through far worse for this to affect me." He stated, allowing her to help him sit up. Nearby, others do the same; helping each other out of the strewn rubble and she's thankful she catches glimpses of Levy and Juvia that they're okay.

Glass though sits in broken pieces around them, the happiness of the party a shattered memory amongst it all.

A cold cackle interrupts them and Lucy shivered, barely looking over her shoulder to meet steely green eyes.

Minerva.

"Why…why did you do this?" Lucy whispered.

Minerva shrugged, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder with a smile. "To prove a point. Fairy Tail isn't the only guild who can have a party ruined."

On any other occasion, Lucy probably would've stood down. Fights were not her best forte to dabble into like Natsu or Gray constantly did, but people had been injured tonight. Innocent people…

' _It's my fault. I didn't do more to stop this, I didn't warn anybody because I didn't want to spoil their fun or make them worry over nothing possibly happening.'_

So she made _**sure**_ her mark left blood with the blow she sent to her perfectly done up face.

The resounding scream and curse she got made the throbbing in her hand _**so**_ worth it and hurriedly she side stepped back as her hands reach to snatch at her hair and pull her down with her, screams turning into growls as she stared at her from tearing eyes.

"You'll regret that Heartfilia, running behind Natsu or hiding from your supposed rich little daddy all your skeletons won't go on forever!" She snapped out, a small grin of victory forming when Lucy flinched.

' _She knows about my Dad? About my secrets?'_

Through the noise, she soon recognizes Natsu's voice approaching to check on her as he rapidly fires off questions in concern.

But all she could do was nod that she was fine, mouth shut to hide the cry itching to escape. A new fear is boiling in her stomach just hearing what Minerva implies.

And her fears are confirmed hours later upon checking her phone's missed calls:

One missed call from her Dad.

-X-

"Lucy, it's not like you to ignore my calls for _**this**_ long; where were you?" Jude questions, his tone is a mix of frustration, impatience, and perhaps concern but she could be imagining the last one.

After all, she is running on a good two hours of sleep and she never expected him to pick up when it already close to 2 in the morning.

' _Are you sure you'll be okay handling Levy? Gajeel said he could handle sneaking her into his place for one night.' Natsu voices._

 _Lucy nodded, pointing Levy over to nearest trash can to relieve herself again. "Do you_ _ **really**_ _want to deal with this?"_

 _Natsu shivered, wrapping his scarf around his mouth and nose before the pungent odor affected him. "Well no, but it's not fair for you to deal with it alone..."_

 _Lucy shrugged, waving off his concern. "No, it wouldn't be fair to_ _ **you**_ _knowing how keen your senses are."_

 _In the back of her mind though she knows she's just stalling, thinking up anything to say besides what's truly pressing on her thoughts._

 _That kiss._

 _Where do they go from there?_

 _She couldn't just ignore it, pretend it never happened when he knew how she felt and likewise. But still, now Natsu had become a wedge in her heart. A distraction she couldn't easily rid of…_

" _Lucy, about that kiss…" Natsu begins as they reach the junction where they cross ways._

" _It was nice." Lucy breathed, scuffling with her shoes._

 _Well, it was actually so much more than nice, but the words don't come out sounding that way and instead it seems like she's distancing them even more._

 _And Natsu leans in to grip her hand close as if she'll disappear, as if the memories of this night will fade in the wind with how quiet she is._

" _I know your plans are still on your mind Luce, but don't forget_ _ **mine**_ _to make you change your plans. Something's been bugging me lately though, something I'm sure I'll get to the bottom of one day when you I get you to crack…" Natsu trailed off._

 _Lucy arched a brow, expression giving away her curiosity._

" _What are you afraid of Luce?"_

"And now you're not even listening to me. How much sleep have you been getting; you look barely half awake?" Jude grunted and Lucy straightened up, silently pinching herself not to let her drowsiness show so much.

In the background, Levy's soft snoring reminds her of part of the reason she's so drowsy.

"I'm fine father, you know I've been putting in a lot of nights working a bunch of odd jobs on top of staying up with my schoolwork and extracurricular activities." Lucy explained.

Jude scoffed, eyes narrowing and goosebumps prickle her skin.

He doesn't believe her.

"Your mother knew how to balance work and school just perfectly without ever losing sleep. Do you still continue to believe you have that insomnia or dependency on medicine for whatever-"

Click.

Her phone gets tossed into the covers of her blankets.

Of course he doesn't believe anything going on with her is _ **real.**_ Comparing her again to her mother, to _**her**_ standards she can never seem to reach.

' _Why did I think he would say anything different this time?'_

-X-

It's Tuesday morning when Lucy finally feels like she's functioning again.

Almost.

The last three days since the party have passed by drearily, early morning classes that trudge on late into the evening with new assignments and projects to get back into the swing of things.

Except she can't completely get back into the 'swing' of things…

"Lucy, I'm stuck on question 12." Natsu grunts by her and she jumps in frazzled alarm before settling at seeing his smooth grin.

She can feel the beginnings of a blush heat her face.

Jerk.

"What's go you so on edge Luce?" He asks jokingly at her behavior.

' _You.'_

But she mutters a soft "shut up" instead, breaking down and explaining the biology and environmental question into a way he'll understand.

More and more often Natsu's visits have become this, visiting her dorm to study or talk and _ **always**_ when Levy is out.

They're both off this particular morning, Natsu inviting himself over after breakfast.

He's always been welcome to visit of course, though he never came this frequently. Perhaps it's all a part of his supposed 'master plan' to break her down into giving into him.

' _It won't be that easy.'_ Lucy assured herself positively.

She _**won't**_ fall for his touches when he purposely wraps an arm around her to bring her closer, she _**won't**_ let out a moan when he discreetly pushes their books aside and pushes her onto her bed and she definitely _**won't**_ let his kisses become something more than that…

"Natsu…" Lucy inhaled, taking in a breath of air before he stole it from her once more.

"Hmm?" Natsu replied lazily. He continues to hover closely over her and his body heat would be a comfort in the chilliness of the room if not for what they were doing.

She halfheartedly moved to push him away.

And Natsu in turn reacted by pressing in closer so that she could _**feel**_ then his arousal, burying close to her nether regions and a soft sigh escaped her in pleasure.

"Don't you know what you're doing to me Luce? What you do to my _**body**_?" He emphasized, grinding his clothed erection into her until she gasped.

Her brain was shutting down.

Thank goodness they were still haven't removed anything yet...

She heard the last bits of his animalistic growl against her neck, biting and teasing at the skin surely to leave a mark.

His mark.

And then he abruptly sat up, staring over his handiwork before grinning at her flustered look.

"We'll continue on with part 2 another day; when we're truly official and not letting hormones get in the way."

Lucy gritted her teeth, biting her tongue before a stream of curses escaped.

Their relationship **w** _ **as**_ on blurred boundaries currently, he wasn't going to ever cross it without her permission yet no matter her reactions to him.

' _Clever move Natsu.'_

-X-

This bubbly feeling of happiness wasn't made to last.

Because she's already come down from the dizzy high of Natsu's kisses hours ago. Taking multiple brisk walks around the campus to get rid of his heat and scent.

It's cloudy, the blueness of the sky covered by streaks of gray threatening to grow darker with the smell of rain in the air.

Levy passes her during her second walk around the hill and student center and the excuse she was in the mood for a run is _**not**_ holding up well at her blank expression.

"Natsu stopped by again, didn't he?" She hums knowingly, joining her in the power walk.

"Yeah you know him, once he comes he doesn't want to go." Lucy mused.

Levy nodded, grin curving her lips. "He overstayed his welcome this time though, huh?"

Lucy paused, wincing at her tone of voice. And here she was hoping she would maybe still be nursing a hangover for a few days, but nope Levy is back and fully energized as if she had never over drank herself into a stupor just a few days ago.

' _Crap.'_

"The hickey can still be seen; can't it?" She asked nervously.

And Levy's smile only grew wider. "Do you really have to ask?"

Lucy let out a groan, wind tussling up her hair as she brushed a hand through it angrily. "Damn it, I used so much foundation and make up too!"

Levy shrugged, stretching out her arms. "He left it in too obvious of a spot."

' _Of course he did.'_ Lucy thought.

But then she noticed the starry look in Levy's eyes and frowned, bunching her hands into the warmth of her jacket uncomfortably.

"No, we're not official or anything yet if that's what you were going to ask next." She murmured.

She winced as the smile immediately left her face.

"What?! Why the heck not? You know you're rules for not dating and men have practically been thrown on the window now, right?!" Levy complained.

"I have to take things slow Levy, what if the past repeats itself or my feelings aren't as strong as I imagined in the long run…" Lucy trailed off.

Her heart stung knowing the ache she was putting herself and Natsu through, using a perfect wall to hide and mask away feelings and secrets she didn't want to the world to know.

Especially not him.

"…You know, Gajeel used to scare me too. You remember the fear and pain he used to put me through when we were partnered for that month long assignment last year?" Levy whispered.

Lucy's stomach roiled, though she nodded nonetheless. Somehow she had seen the light in him and maybe the same could be said for Natsu and her.

He saw the fear inside her.

But even Levy didn't completely know how bad things were for her, the issues with her dad, how worse her insomnia was getting…

"I know Levy, you've told me this story before. It's different for me though." She squeaked out.

Her throat's going dry again.

A raindrop hits her head, followed by another, then another and pretty soon they're running to the nearest shelter underneath one of the buildings.

For a while neither said anything, listening to the soft patter of rain against the trees and pavement. Leaves and petals scatter into growing puddles, creating mini ripples.

"Eww, it's as if he's with a new girl every day." Levy snorted, bringing Lucy's attention off the nature around them.

And she followed her line of sight to Loke.

The woman he's with today is a bit taller than him with dark hair falling in waves behind her back, laughing along with whatever comment he's said as they share an umbrella. She studied the pair a bit longer than she should have, something about that woman is eerily familiar…

' _That's Minerva.'_ Her thoughts answered.

The night of the party flashes back to mind, Minerva's comments about her dad and Natsu. Her wondering of how she could've known such a thing…

Her chest tightens as it all clicks into place. There's only _**one**_ guy who knew about such issues, about the secrets she wished she could just keep buried.

"He told her." She hissed sharply under her breathe, knuckles tightening.

Levy seemed to notice her action, sending her a concerned look. "You okay?"

And Lucy hurriedly nodded, swiping away at the tears that pricked her eyes. She wasn't going to cry over this, she would just have to get even.

Somehow.

"I'll be fine."

-X-

' _I hope I didn't push Lucy too far with my behavior; did I overdo it? No, she probably would've told me by now if I did, so what else could it be?'_ Natsu worried.

Gone is the normal light he's used to seeing in her warm brown eyes, dull and stained with tinges of red that must be from lack of sleep.

She continues to wave off his questions of concern at every opportunity he gets between breaks in solving problems their professor calls out, stating she's just been staying up late to finish homework she's gotten behind on.

It's the same reply she's given him over the past couple of days.

' _I'm not going to let Natsu get involved with this.'_ Lucy decides, avoiding his knowing gaze.

Because then if she meets his eyes, the truth will spill out and she's just not sure yet how he'll react or what he'll do.

He'll think she's strange, that she's making insomnia up to just hide from him or something…

So alternatively, she's keeping her gaze towards the clock, just 10 minutes left of class. 10 minutes to come up with a proper plan to break away from Natsu and confront Loke.

Still after going through multiple escape tactics and plans in her head, none seem like they'll work. She has to count on luck to be on her side…

And just as the bell rings, her feet and brain start going into overdrive, going through the motions to briefly give Natsu a goodbye before scuttling into the crowds.

Over her shoulder she hears him calling out to her she's forgotten a folder or two, but she kept going anyways (plans can never seem to go perfectly like they do in her head, can they?)

Loke is waiting for her anyways and she needs to get this done with.

His pointy orange hair is in disarray, clothes ruffled that he's clearly just thrown on as she approaches and it's hard to restrain back the smile at seeing him not look his best for once.

He notices her first before she can even get out a word, flashing up the school's newspaper with a scowl.

"You wrote this article, didn't you?"

Lucy followed to where his finger was pointing, rereading the bold black ink of the title: _**Your secrets aren't safe with the school's resident playboy.**_

' _Yes, I stayed up making sure I came up with the perfect catchphrases and information for that story…'_ Lucy remembered, though she had signed it anonymously he had still pieced together who had written it.

"You have women second guessing now if they should date me or even hang out with me! We're not even together now; so why resort to such petty things by spreading this all over school unless you-"Loke snapped.

"No, I don't want to get back together; I just wanted _**you**_ to know how it feels." Lucy cut him off sharply.

Loke looked taken aback for a moment, this was a coldness Lucy had never given him before, even when he had made her mad back when they dated she never acted so aloof.

"You told Minerva about my past, about private matters I never wanted anyone to know about. So I figured it was okay to let any potential new girls in your life know about _**your**_ confidences and not-so-pleasant skeletons in the closet so to speak." Lucy explained.

She knew it wasn't the response he wanted, hazel eyes flickering dangerously with rage before he scoffed, crushing the paper in his hands.

"I never took you as the type to hold a grudge, what will you do anyways when Natsu inevitably finds out; lie to him or better yet, come up with a story to make him look bad?" He spat.

He didn't bother to wait for her answer, gruffly walking past her into the crowds.

Good that he had left, hadn't waited to hear her answer.

Because then she'd probably counter with the fact Natsu was already halfway to the truth and she didn't know what to do.

The thought of it restarts a sickening twisting sensation in her chest, but it passes with the urge to sleep creeping back up on her.

So many nights had passed now where she hadn't gotten a complete rest…

She had pushed that desire aside though, plowing instead her energy into anything she could like her constellations project for astrology down to extra hours at bookstore to make sure she had enough jewels saved up again before another spending spree came up.

But it was catching up with her body now.

And sometimes the only way she could get sleep was when her body was exhausted enough from doing task after task to keep busy.

' _Juvia recommends chamomile tea before bed; Juvia used to be nervous to sleepover with Gray, but felt better drinking it about 30 minutes before going to bed!'_ She recalled her saying after Literature class yesterday.

She had gone to the campus's pharmacy as she had suggested, but she hadn't bought the tea.

Instead, she searched for any new over the counter sleeping medicine she hadn't tried before. Nothing stood out to her in particular, names similar in action and effect until she decided on Sleep Aid tablets and soft capsules.

The label stated no critical side effects outside of the usual to watch for allergies (she could check that off) and pregnancy (she reddened at the brief thought of Natsu, triple checking it off in her head with reminders they hadn't gone that _**far**_.)

"Well, here's to hoping maybe this one helps, at least for a bit." Lucy murmured to herself, popping in one before slushing it down with some water. She had no classes left for the day luckily, she would crash in bed until probably the evening or nightfall then resume any other assignments she hadn't already completed or started.

Some plans are just made to be broken though.

Because hours later she awakes to see Natsu beside her, one hand clasping at her old empty sleeping bottles she _**really**_ _s_ hould've thrown away months ago the other holding her new bottle of sleep aids.

His hands are tapping nervously against the bottles and the mix of fear and concern on his face makes her just want to sink deeply under her blankets

"Lucy, what's going on with you?"

-x-

 _Thanks to Guest, Soul-of-glass and ThatOneFriend-3 for their responses last chapter! I'm super interested in your thoughts so please let me know any suggestions or feedback you might have and thanks again as always for reading! :D_


	7. Clock of the Heart

**Chapter 7: Clock of the Heart**

"Go away" are the first words that leave Lucy's mouth.

It comes out muffled by the blankets and sheets over her, but she's sure Natsu's heard it. She's squeezed her eyes shut to not look at him, at those pill bottles she can still hear him mockingly shaking…

And for a good couple of seconds, he doesn't say anything.

Until he abruptly throws her blankets off and pokes her sides as if to tickle her. Lucy squirmed, balling herself up until she can't take his jabs anymore.

"You can't hide from this on me Lucy." Natsu grumbles.

"Yes I can; nobody told you to come here and snoop into my privacy and business!" Lucy snaps in return, snatching the bottles from his hands roughly.

Briefly, Natsu's taken aback by her behavior, dark eyes widening before he deeply scowls.

"What the hell Lucy?! Why do you need to take pills in the first place if you're not sick or anything?" He barks.

"It's none of your concern." Lucy calmly retorts, but she discreetly pushes the sleep aid bottles into the bends of her sheets out of view. If only her insomnia hadn't gotten this bad, if only she had hidden them in a better area…

Because clearly Natsu isn't buying her lies and she has little time to come up with proper excuses to give him.

Natsu snorts, crossing his arms. "Don't give me that crap Lucy; you've been hiding something from me and don't think I'll just leave without getting some type of answer!"

Lucy gritted her teeth then; like it or not, she had to give him some semblance of the truth.

"There…there for sleep, okay?"

She didn't expect Natsu's gaze to soften and her heart thudded anxiously before she clenched at her chest to calm down.

' _Focus Lucy.'_

"What? You have problems sleeping at night Luce? Why hide that? From me?" He questioned.

Lucy felt her cheeks burn, averting her brown eyes anywhere but at his now more curious and worried look.

' _Why does he have to care so much?'_ She wondered wistfully.

"It's embarrassing, geez! It's like your motion sickness thing, it just happens from time to time and I take some medicine to help me get through a night." She explained.

And she hoped _**that**_ was a good enough answer for him. Her whole body is going stiff in anticipating his response.

But damn it, it just isn't. Not for him when it concerns _**her.**_

Natsu rubbed his chin thoughtfully, brushing a hand through thick locks. "It just isn't completely adding up though. It sounds like you don't need it every night, so what happens on the nights that you _**do**_ need it? Something has to be _**triggering**_ it, right?"

' _Your mother never had these problems, are you still making up excuses for this sleep thing…'_ Her father's words echo achingly in the back of her mind.

Perfectionism.

She was chasing it ever since her mother's passing and despite her father's coldness and lack of belief in her that she could do it, she kept pushing herself each day and night to prove him wrong. Layla had been an accomplished astrologist, writer, and mother…

Sleep could be sacrificed if she too were to reach the same goals.

"It's nothing…I just have my days where I feel more stressed and anxious and that keeps me up." Lucy admitted half-truthfully.

Admitting her father may just truly be the trigger of it all is too much to say right now…

So instead she goes silent, stomach flipping when Natsu sighs, tugging her in close.

His grip is tight enough that trying to squirm out of it immediately won't work as he leans in close by her ear. "Stop it Luce. Stop feeding me bullshit excuses and roundabout answers."

Lucy bristled, curse about to escape her own lips too, but he continued on. "What are you scared of Lucy? I won't tell anyone if that's what you're worried about or make fun of you."

"I told you already it's nothing to worry about!" She growled, elbowing him hard enough that his hold began to loosen.

Natsu furrowed a brow in frustration, casually reaffirming his grip. The beginnings of a lazy smirk etched his face and Lucy flustered under his new stare.

"It's not _**nothing**_ like you say it is if you're reacting this way; trying to get out of my grip too. You didn't mind being this close to me when we kissed the other day…or even when I was _**touching**_ you either; in this very similar position."

"Natsu…" Lucy started warningly, flaring up her knees now to hit him _**exactly**_ where his body had reacted.

His grin begins to slip though at her persistent stubborn actions and retorts it was 'nothing', moving out of the way before she went on to truly hit him below the belt.

Why won't she tell him?

' _She doesn't trust me enough…'_ His chest tightens in realization.

And the very thought makes him reluctantly let go of her.

Lucy plops to the carpet with a thump at the sudden release, rubbing her sore arm and mumbling 'stupid Natsu' under her breath, but quiets at his lack of response.

"Natsu?"

Natsu silently stood up, balling his hands into fists. When he turns to face her once more, her heart throbs nervously all over again.

There's a familiar envy burning in his eyes.

"So it's okay for people like Loke or even possibly Gray to know, but not _**me**_?" He hisses.

He winched at the flicker of hurt in her expression, tears shimmer in her eyes that she quickly blinks away.

' _I'm hurting her.'_ His thoughts voice and as much as he wants to probe more so he can get finally get to the truth, to help her, love her…

He'll stop if it's making her uncomfortable.

"Natsu…you're right it's my-"Lucy starts, pausing when Natsu holds up a hand.

"No, never mind you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'll just 'go away' like you told me to earlier." He spat.

Lucy blinked, watching in dread as he stuffed his hands into pockets and turned to go. She reached out a hand to touch his vest to keep him here, only to be out of reach as he began walking towards the door.

' _Wait Natsu, let me tell you! Don't go, I want you to know…'_

But the words remain stuck in her throat, her vision blurring with tears.

-X-

"Juvia's seen this look many times before in movie scenes or when she's had an argument with Gray. The look of a lover's quarrel…" Juvia hummed, before munching on her cookie.

She withered at the sharp look Lucy sent her way, slinking down in her beanbag.

"Don't give Juvia grief Lucy! She has a good point you know, it's been what, like over a week or so now and you and Natsu _**still**_ haven't spoken to each other!" Levy griped from her opposite side.

Lucy sighed straightening up off her pillows. This movie night at Juvia's place for once was _**supposed**_ to be making her feel better, not worse…

"It's not like I haven't seen him; we share classes together, remember? Besides, he's been busy with Fairy Tail guild stuff to want to hang out." Lucy attempted to retort.

Though it wasn't the same, the cool mornings she spent sneaking glances at him across the way as they head towards breakfast are gone. He doesn't break in to her dorm through the windows to request more 'tutoring' sessions or just study together, and even in the few classes they share, his eyes are always facing front.

And her heart can't believe it yet; waiting like a clock endlessly ticking for him to return back to her…

' _This is stupid, this is what I wanted; for him to leave me alone so I can focus on my job and studies. Everything is going according to my original plan and goals, but…'_

She can't get her mind off it; this misery won't leave her alone so easily.

To stop thinking of him.

Because maybe Natsu's out even now with another woman, his attention gone from her and her stomach rolls at the irritating thought…

She shouldn't have decided popcorn and ice cream would be the only things she ate for dinner.

"How come you never told him you had the sleeping issues? Or the problems with your dad, Natsu wouldn't think any less of you." Levy asks.

Lucy pouted, scene replaying in her head again. "I was about to, really I was! I was just nervous, we've gotten so intimate so quickly that I didn't want it all suddenly crashing when he realized I needed medication to function occasionally."

Juvia patted her arm supportively, brightening up. "Oh, Juvia knows Natsu could never stay mad at you for long! Things will be back to normal between you two in no time!"

Lucy managed to send her a small appreciative smile while she fast-forwarded through the end credits of the last romance/action flick they had sat through.

It's fast approaching 3:15 in the morning.

And if even Juvia and Levy won't admit it, she knows there pushing themselves to stay awake for her.

She had barely been getting a good night's rest before her fight with Natsu and the argument has only pushed her sleep/wake cycle into further disarray.

Moonlight cracks through the window as she hears the rustle of wind, watching as Levy brewed herself another cup of tea. Her hazel eyes are rimmed with streaks of red and the beginnings of bags under them while Juvia meanwhile keeps 'resting her eyes' every 10 minutes against the pillows bunched around them.

' _This isn't right.'_

"You guys, let's call it a night…or err morning in this case. I don't want your guy's sleeping schedules to be thrown off just on account of me." Lucy pipes up.

Levy hurriedly turned away from her cup, nearly pouring the boiling pot onto her hands. "No way Lucy! We're in this together!"

"Levy is right, Juvia is not even that tired!" Juvia added in, head still snuggly buried against two pillows before she slowly sat up again prove she was 'awake.'

Right.

Well, it's a good thing it's a Friday night.

The three sit in the glow of the television's light flipping through paid programming ads of the night and late shows and before it reaches 4:00 am, Lucy hears a distinct thump and soft breathing on both sides of her.

Juvia and Levy are out.

Lucy smiled, flicking off the TV and darkness surrounds her again. How is it so easy for them to fall asleep like that? She shifted them as quietly as they could with the help of the moonlight to see into more comfortable positions before tossing their respective blankets over them.

' _They don't have any stressors or worries in their lives…at least not like the ones I have to deal with.'_

She scooted back into her spot, squirming a bit until she found her own comfy position. Levy had suggested she try to go a couple of nights without any medicine to see how it affected her body and sleep and so far…

It really wasn't working _**not**_ to have it.

But she was going to try to resist the temptation, she tossed and turned for what seemed like another hour until she finally began to drift asleep.

" _Lucy, how were you planning to hide all of this from me?" Natsu scoffed._

 _In his hands were piles and piles of multicolored pills and it feels like the breath has been knocked out of her._

" _Natsu, those aren't, I don't-"She stammered._

 _But he only chuckled hollowly, allowing to the pills to drop and scatter at their feet. When she looks up at him again, his face is expressionless and cold._

 _His eyes won't even meet hers._

" _Natsu, I only take sleep medicine on nights I feel stressed or when I feel more pressured by my dad." Lucy rapidly explained._

 _There, she finally said it._

 _Though she doesn't feel any immediate waves of relief or calm like she's expecting._

 _Hoping._

 _Her breathing is still very erratic and her heart refuses to stop thumping as if she's still in imminent danger._

 _Natsu sneered, spitting and crushing his shoes against the capsules at his feet. "That's not what Loke tells me. He says you're a secret addict and that you use these to get high or sell them like some party drug…"_

 _If she hadn't been feeling so on edge still from her confession, she would slap him_ _ **so**_ _hard right now for such a remark._

" _And why the hell are you believing what_ _ **he**_ _tells you?! Loke is a consummate liar; you and I both know that!"_

" _Someone mention me?" A familiar voice croons from her side and a new wave of shivers crawl all over her at seeing Loke approach from the shadows._

 _And he's not alone either._

 _No, he brought her father along as well…_

" _I see you're still going on about this insomnia problem Lucy…and to make matters worse you're dragging other people into it as well. Nobody wants to be with someone who makes up excuses for issues that aren't real; you're continuing to cause embarrassment to our family name!" Jude growls, stomping towards her._

 _Lucy bit her lip to stop a gasp from escaping, she's shrinking under his presence all over again. She quickly wrapped her arms around herself to stop her shaking, glancing back towards the other two most prominent men in her life as of late._

 _But Loke simply stares on with the same easygoing smile while Natsu looked away._

 _Jude followed her gaze, frown deepening as he reached out to tug at her arm. "The men you've dated have caused nothing but problems and troubles for you in your life. Isn't that why you told me you were going to focus on your schoolwork and jobs?"_

 _Lucy lurched her arm from his grip before it tightened, mustering the best glare she could. "Yes! Though you have to understand that I-"_

" _No, I don't want to hear it anymore! We're going back to the Heartfilia home; maybe some time away from school and this environment is what you need to stop going on about this insomnia and whatever else it is…" Jude cuts her off._

 _And before she can start an arguing match with him that she refuses, her guardians from back home approach from the sides and grab her by both of her arms, pulling her back with him into the shadows no matter how much she kicks at them and bites at their hands._

 _Nothing is working._

" _Natsu, say something! Anything, please!" Lucy calls out to him, her voice starts to crack and falter the further she gets pulled away and she wonders if he can even hear her._

 _Her eyes start to widen as his lips begin to move, but it's impossible to make out what he says._

 _And he soon walks away just as she slips into the darkness._

"Lucy come on, wake up already! Juvia wants us to try this type of brunch café restaurant she went with Gray to last month!" Levy complains by her ear, continuing to lightly shaker her awake.

Lucy managed to crack one eye open, vision blurry as blackness fades with the light. Juvia opens the blinds of her room further to emphasis it is indeed daylight out, sunlight streaming over her and she winces at the dull pounding in the back of her head.

' _Just a nightmare.'_ She quietly reminds herself.

"Give me like 10 minutes please." Lucy manages to slur out, pushing away at the drool clinging against her lips as she turns over.

Levy's blobby image pouts at her behavior before she chuckles, ruffling up her bed hair. "Geez, Luce what type of dream were _**you**_ having to be drooling like that?"

She hides her flinch of said nickname by burying one blanket back over herself.

' _Not the type you're thinking.'_

Because as she opened her eyes a bit more she realizes her pillows are wet, the salty scent of tears lingering on them.

-X-

"I don't know you guys, this still seems like a stupid idea to me." Natsu grunted, pushing his empty bowl aside.

"If it was so stupid why did you agree to come and eat three servings of food?" Gray scoffed under his breathe, earning him a jab to the shoulder.

"Look salamander, Gray and I are getting tired of this mopey shit you've been doing for the past week or so now. Just go talk to bunny girl and release all this pent up sexual tension so things can go back to normal within our group!" Gajeel snapped.

"Yeah, avoiding her or ignoring the problem obviously isn't working. Even Erza and Mira trying to snap what little sense there is in you back in didn't change anything!" Gray grumbled.

Wow, some great friends he had.

Still though, they were treating him to this all you can eat buffet for lunch so he supposed he shouldn't complain _**too**_ much…

" _Lucy hasn't been the same since whatever happened between you two; at least she's definitely not as lively in the newspaper club keeping to herself more as of late. Don't you think now that things have cooled off you should go talk to her?" Mirajane asked, cleaning up the last bit of beer bottles after another meeting of Fairy Tails' came to an end._

 _Natsu frowned, first master had given him advice (nice of him but unnecessary), followed by Gray (who should consider himself lucky to even have Juvia) and now Mirajane could be added to the list…_

" _Why should I? She's the_ _ **one**_ _who kept all these secrets from me! Besides, she's been busy now with her astrology assignments, clubs and probably getting another job-." He went on stubbornly._

 _Only to be interrupted by a vice grip around his neck._

" _And why do you think she's been throwing herself into all those different projects, huh? Probably to keep her mind busy off a_ _ **certain**_ _hothead who doesn't know how to properly apologize!" Erza hissed, emphasizing her choke hold with every word._

 _Natsu hastily moved out of her grip as soon as she became distracted by Mirajane's offering of sweets, glowering when he felt another pair of eyes on him._

 _Laxus._

 _Why exactly he still occasionally drops by these Fairy Tail meetings is a mystery, having excluded himself from many important events months ago. Perhaps it's in light of the recent destruction that came from the anniversary party or maybe it's just because he's the guild master's grandson…_

" _This is funny to you?" He grunts with narrowed her eyes. He consciously crackles at his knuckles, he's been itching for a good fight anyways…_

 _But Laxus stares at his action in boredom, waving him off. "Not really funny; just amusing is all. Lucy may just end up falling into the arms of another if you keep your silly stubbornness up."_

 _His fists tightened then. 'There's no way in hell that would be_ _ **him**_ _if that's what he's implying…'_

 _Laxus arched a brow, flat look becoming a small smirk and a lets out a laugh before he ducks from the punch Natsu sends him._

 _He manages to scrape his cheek enough to draw blood._

" _Honestly Natsu, you're making it a bit_ _ **too**_ _easy to rile you up like this. The only person who wants Lucy in this room the way you're thinking is_ _ **you.**_ _" He taunts._

 _Natsu paused, gritting his teeth. He quietly moved then to step out of the guild into the chill of the night despite worried calls for him to hold on._

 _He was just messing with him for the thrill of it all…_

 _And like a fool, he had fallen right into it._

"Lucy wouldn't go out with any other guys, right?" Natsu asks aloud, paying no mind to the halfway chewed fish remaining in his mouth.

Gray sends him a disgusted look to finish eating first before shaking his head while Gajeel just shrugs, probably ready for a new subject to talk about.

Natsu snorted at their lack of response, gulping down the rest of his water before speaking again. "You guys act as if you wouldn't be mad if Levy or Juvia kept things from you. Levy used to hide the fact you're attitude and fighting scared her and Juvia…well Juvia…"

"Juvia doesn't hide anything from me." Gray finished amusingly.

"Gihihi, let's get this over it. Why not ask her yourself? The perfect opportunity has just fallen into your lap." Gajeel chuckled.

The two followed where his gaze went: Gray beamed and Natsu frowned, voice leaving him.

Out the window of the restaurant, he meets Lucy's direct stare for the first time in days.

-X-

' _Say something, anything!'_

Lucy meets his gaze for the briefest of seconds, weak smile gracing her lips before she continues on walking without Levy and Juvia who seem to be considering going in to greet them instead of their original plans.

And meanwhile their shared group of friends are sending him glares he isn't moving. Isn't speaking.

It's only when she turns the corner out of sight that he finally feels his feet begin to move of their accord after her.

"Lucy, hold on I-"Natsu starts, halting when he bumps into her back.

Lucy's completely frozen.

Auburn eyes are wide, body trembling as she shakily steps back. The figure in front of her notices her before she can move and that's when Natsu realizes she knows who this man is.

"Lucy?" Natsu tries again, a bit louder than before.

But she doesn't hear him, watching in surprise as fear quickly morphs into rage.

' _The nightmare…the nightmare I had is coming true; though I'm not going to let it end the same way. I refuse…'_

Jude scowls, stepping towards her. "I figured if I couldn't find you on campus, you would be somewhere within the city."

"I told you to leave me alone." Lucy replies firmly.

Jude shakes his head, reaching for her hand until she slapped him away. "…I see; you've been away from the Heartfilia home for much too long. You told me your priorities when you left for college were going to be to focus on a job and your grades, but it seems like your priorities have changed now."

Lucy regarded him in confusion, but his stare averted towards Natsu and if possible his frown deepened and Lucy felt her stomach twist at noticing his presence as well.

Just how long had he been standing there?

"Who is this man with you; is he the reason your behavior has become so different?" He mused.

' _What am I supposed to tell him? I have to say something fast.'_ Her mind scattered through hundreds of answers, excuses…

"Ah, well this is Natsu; he's my-"Lucy hesitates.

"I'm her boyfriend, sir." Natsu finishes, squeezing her shoulder in emphasis he wouldn't let her go through any more stress alone.

And Lucy sends him a mixed look of anger and disbelief that he could say something so _**very, very**_ stupid and perhaps (hopefully) joy that he came.

For her.

-x-

 _Woohoo to all that awesome feedback last chapter; I'm ready for early Christmas presents if you review with any feedback or suggestions lol! Shout-outs to ThatOneFriend-3, dark horse, guests, zerophelia, StellaHeartfilia, NaLuFTfanatic, Soul-of-glass, FairyQueen45, and Dark Shining Light for your responses last chapter. I'm excited to write some Natsu-Jude interactions look forward to that and thanks for reading as always! :D_


	8. Addiction

**Chapter 8: Addiction**

So badly, Lucy wished she could be anywhere else right now.

But Natsu's statement has already been stumbled out, there's no use in trying to take it back despite how much it makes her heart secretly quiver.

"Natsu, do you know exactly what you're getting into?!" Lucy whispered sharply, jabbing at his leg beneath the table.

If Natsu was suffering any pain from her action, he wasn't showing it; grin never leaving his face but she saw the telltale signs of his broad grin slipping the further she stabbed at him. "Of course I do _**dear**_. Now please stop poking your fork into my leg."

Oh how miserably were they failing at playing this 'perfect' couple role?

In Jude's eyes they at least seemed calm and collected, demeanor aloof across the table before they sent him flashy smiles at his arch of a brow at their quiet muttering.

In the span of an hour they had gotten into this mess.

All of the jitters Lucy had felt at seeing his presence, truly seeing him and not through the phone or a dream were tossed away at Natsu's comment.

' _Of all the things he could've said, why did he…?'_ She thought tiredly.

She ignores the heat rising to her cheeks as the words play over. ' _Boyfriend…'_

Jude clears his throat and they send him their undivided attention once more and Lucy knows whatever patience he has left in him has grown thin.

"I know it comes as a surprise for me to visit, but I couldn't stand by after how our last conversation went."

His tone is sharp and directly to the point as she expects and Lucy quickly bites back the remark burning on the tip of her own tongue.

He was treating her like a child, like she was still living with him…

" _ **Jude,**_ you should know I'm not the type of person who likes to make things up. Coming here to try and prove a point won't change things." Lucy emphasized.

There's a flash of hurt in his eyes as she calls him by his real name, not Dad or even Father but it passes so fast that maybe it's just an act.

And his attention turns towards Natsu, masking any remnants of coldness with a smile.

"Well then Lucy, the least you could is introduce me to this _**boyfriend**_ of yours. You've hardly mentioned him in any prior conversations we've had after all."

Her stomach tightens at the faux casualness of his comment; he's trying to catch her in a lie.

"I'm Natsu Dragneel; I've known your daughter since freshman year when she was moving into the dorms. I'm currently pursuing a degree in Fire Science and I spend a good amount of my free time at the guild Fairy Tail. I'm sure that covers most of the basic conversational points and questions you had for me, right?" Natsu spoke up smoothly.

Lucy blinked in awe, the knots in her stomach loosening somewhat. She feels him squeeze her hand underneath the table, grin bright in the afternoon sun.

Her heart shouldn't be thumping this fast from such a small gesture, but it inevitably does and she flusters as she averts her gaze to the scenery around them.

Jude on the other hand is unimpressed, though she catches the faint spark of concern as the name Dragneel comes out.

"Fire Science? And what might I ask type of job will you pursue by majoring in that?" He pries further.

' _No, no, no! He thinks that's a stupid field, that Natsu is just going to end up with some dead end job that pays nothing or isn't a suitable high end 'career'_ Lucy realizes.

But then, his opinion doesn't matter she reminds herself, after all, he's shut out her ideas and goals before too…

"I don't think it's necessary to ask such a question-"Lucy starts.

"Probably a fire investigator or smoke jumper maybe. I don't know; I haven't picked one set job yet to focus on! I'm sure you didn't become a big old CEO overnight!" Natsu chirped out in interruption and Lucy _**almost**_ wants to jab him again.

Well, at any rate he was being honest.

It's not the answer Jude expects or even wants to hear probably, Lucy can see it in his eyes. She sucked in a breath, preparing herself mentally for the slew of questions he most likely has in store for her. Why she still brought up her sleeping problems? Why did other people now know about it?

Though none of it ever comes.

"Lucy…can I have a word with you…alone?" Jude questions.

A no immediately springs forth to her lips, but she crushed it with an irritated huff before nodding. This impromptu brunch together can't get any worse anyways.

He leads her to the corner of the café, away from Natsu's sensitive ears and any nearby strangers. The wind picks up as leaves crackle loudly against the pavement and Lucy hugged her jacket closer despite how warm she felt earlier.

It's numbing just being this close to him.

But there's just something strange about her father's stance now, jittery and pacing back and forth to the point he almost suddenly seems…nervous.

"How long have you known he was a Dragneel?" He asks.

Lucy pursed her lips before shrugging her shoulders. "I don't know, like a year or so maybe? What, are you like rivals with that family company or going to tell me his priorities aren't straight-?"

"No, nothing like that. You're a grown woman, I can't stop you from making any choices even if _**you**_ don't see the harm in them." He cut her off.

At seeing her ball up her fists and turn to go he went on quickly.

"There are rumors involving the Dragneel lineage, nasty tales that hide a grisly past. I'm concerned if you're truly serious about this relationship with him."

 _ **He**_ was concerned now? She would've laughed if not for the irritating seriousness of his tone.

Lucy clicked her tongue, sending him in an impassive stare before truly turning to head back to Natsu.

"Whatever; I'll take my chances with him over _**you.**_ "

And Jude remains relatively silent for the remainder of their lunch before he takes his leave, not without reminding her he still expects check-ups on her progress in school, not to screw up the family name or her said goals.

' _I don't expect you to be at Layla's level yet you know if you had been thinking that, though-'_ The words fade from her mind, drowning them out with the mundane conversations she hears from passersby's.

Their relationship has gone nowhere; fragmented with distrust and now even more secrecy.

Natsu fills in the long gaps of silence between them with lighthearted jokes and comments that she wishes could make her wholeheartedly smile and giggle in return.

But she can't.

Because damn it Jude has planted a spark of doubt, of fear in her.

-X-

' _My pillow is breathing...'_

It's probably after midnight Lucy guesses when she realizes her bed has become occupied with another person.

Again.

Schoolwork has kept her up late the past 3 nights with juggling the last shift at the campus bookstore and at first she imagines the familiar earthy scent is maybe Levy playing a joke on her.

Until a muscular arm wraps around her torso.

' _If this is Levy's doing, then this is a very cruel joke.'_ Lucy mused.

"Natsu?" She grumbled into the darkness.

"Shh, just pretend I'm not even hear Luce and keep sleeping." Natsu murmured into her shoulder.

Breaking through her fog of sleepiness, she reacted in turn by pushing him off the bed. It was one thing to barge into her room uninvited during the daytime hours, but he never came around so late in the night.

"Lucy, there's enough space in your bed for the both of us!" Natsu complained and she could see as her vision continued to adjust sitting up he was rubbing a sore spot where his knee had hit the bed's edge.

"More importantly, why the hell are you here at this time of day?! You can't be here, Levy is-"

"Staying at Gajeel's place while I try out my experiment and Lucy, you know I break the rules to get in here to see you all the time!" Natsu finished.

Lucy sighed, clicking on her lamp as a yellow glow bathes her space of the room while Natsu shifted back into her bed. A cold draft enters the room from the window she irritatingly notices she left open her window for him to enter through.

"I'm going to be your sleeping buddy." Natsu announces as he plopped his head against one of her pillows.

"My what?" Lucy questions.

"A sleeping buddy! You know, so you won't have to rely on those pills and stuff anymore. And don't worry, I'm free of charge!" Natsu went on with a wink.

Lucy merely studied him blankly, her head began to dully pound the more she took his answer in and realized how utterly truly serious he was being.

"You…you don't honestly think that's going to work; do you? Considering you just made that term up…" She groaned.

But Natsu nodded and there's a twinkle of mischief in his black eyes that makes goosebumps prick her skin.

"Listen Luce, you don't want to have to rely on those pills every night to sleep and I have a solution for it! Give me a week to see if I can help change your mind." He reasoned.

She watched as he made himself comfortable back within her sheets once more, tossing and turning a few times before he patted the space beside him.

And reluctantly she followed after him.

"I-I don't think this will work, if anything I-"Lucy began only to stop herself. ' _If anything I'll get even_ _ **less**_ _sleep with you here…'_

His warmth and scent is too distracting after all.

"One week is all I ask, unless you don't think you can handle it…" He trails off with a chuckle.

Oh, is that a challenge?

There's no mistaking the haughtiness of his voice as Lucy turns over to face him, auburn eyes wide and ignited with life.

"Excuse me? You're the one who's only suggesting this just to be closer to me! Don't think my plans are going to change because of this!" Lucy scowled.

Natsu leaned in close to her, enough that she could catch the tinges of the spices he had ate earlier on his breath. "You don't like it when I'm this _**near**_ you?"

Her heart went wild in anticipation.

"I, well…I never said that." Her voice lowered.

Natsu trailed a thumb against her lips as she saw the outline of a smile on his face. "I know, let's make this more interesting Lucy. If you can get a full night's sleep with me without waking up during this week then you must _**tweak**_ those so-called 'rules' of yours to _**my**_ decision."

Lucy arched a brow, sitting up slightly. While she didn't want to doubt him, she had tried so many options before… "And if I don't get a good night's rest or need my medicine?"

Natsu frowned briefly. "Then…then I'll repay you all the jewels for the times I've broken your window coming in here; with interest."

' _Wow, really?!'_

Natsu chuckled at her attempt to hide back a grin and she could feel herself blushing. He knew just how to appeal to her…

Though that was fine, she had slept close to Natsu plenty of times before and it hadn't done much to change her insomnia those times.

Why would it be any different now?

"Fine, you're on!"

-X-

"So…I heard you like to sleep at Natsu's place now?" Levy brought up slyly.

Lucy nearly choked on her smoothie.

How on earth had she…?

Out of the corner of her eye she sees Loke watching them and the urge to crush her cup rises. He had given her a meager apology for his behavior a few days ago and now the idea that Natsu put him up to it somehow seems much more likely.

' _Rumors, ugh.'_

Levy's extra upbeat this morning too, she notes. A light frost still blankets the grass as the sun barely peaks up over the horizon while they enjoy breakfast for once at one of the open benches by the student center.

' _Must be from spending all these nights at Gajeel's…'_

"Well, you've heard wrong; _**he**_ sleeps at my place!" Lucy corrected with a huff as she gulped down the last bits of the strawberry/banana blend.

Levy sends her an amused grin and she knows she's going to have to provide better details than just _**that.**_

"Okay, okay but don't jump to any conclusions! He came up with this stupid suggestion that I try sleeping next to him to see if that helps me get a better night's sleep. You know how Natsu is." She explained.

If possible, Levy's smile went even wider. "What?! And has it been working?! He's become you're new drug now so to speak, huh?"

' _Horribly, yes.'_ But she refuses to admit such a thing aloud, instead reddening with a small shrug before biting into her croissant sandwich to not face any more questions.

She won't say that it's become more than relying on him to distract her from her stresses, and that his touches are leading too much skin to skin contact that they thread so treacherously close to lovemaking that one of them is going to break soon…

But they _**are**_ keeping to a bet after all and to admit that the she had gotten a good three nights of rest sounded like she was already conceding.

4 more nights in the week could change things…

Even if she's already become hauntingly dependent on him.

And she keeps that thought running in the back of her mind as she goes from class to class, pushing herself to keep much more focused knowing the stakes at hand.

By nightfall, Natsu returns back to her room. He's later than normal and much to her chagrin, she's texted him more than twice in worry if he's still coming by.

His rosy pink hair is messy and his face and arms hold the telltale scratches and marks of another brawl with somebody.

"Honestly, can't you and Gray come to a stalemate on this fighting?" Lucy murmured, purposely pressing the alcohol swab into his gash for longer than necessary.

Natsu winched, curse escaping as he grabbed her hand to move it away. "Shit, at least warn me when you do that! Geez, it wasn't Gray anyways, I wouldn't be this hurt from _**him**_."

Lucy rolled her eyes at the insult before smiling slightly, okay so maybe she shouldn't mess with his injuries even if he deserved it. "Whatever, my point is you get into or start stupid fights for no reason."

Natsu said nothing for a while, averting his gaze. "…It wasn't for 'no reason' like you think."

Lucy paused in wrapping a particularly bad gash on his arm, a chill rose up her back at his cool somberness.

"Heh, what type of fight was this then with? I mean, you've had fights in past over people eating the last bit of your food or waking you from a nap." She attempted lightheartedly to make him laugh.

It doesn't work.

' _It was for_ _ **you**_ _, for what_ _ **he**_ _said…'_ He grunts to himself, not noticing the concern in Lucy's expression.

' _I'm only concerned Lucy, there are rumors that swirl about the Dragneel's…'_ Jude's warning echoed and she bit her lip to shake the thought away.

"Hey, Natsu?" Lucy spoke up curiously, breaking him from his thoughts.

"Yeah?" He asked and her breathing went unsteady at the longing look in his features. All traces of fatigue in his appearance were gone as he studied her fixedly.

"Ah no, err never mind." She whispered quickly to his confusion.

' _Now isn't the right time to ask anyways…'_

Lips descended on the curve her of neck and she sighed, the idea he was in danger or involved in any risky behavior pushed to the back of her mind.

This was how he was winning their bet, lulling her with sweet kisses and touches until their bodies were spent.

"Luce, you know you can tell me anything, right?" He questioned, licking the sore spot of an old hickey.

"Hmm." She dizzily replied, shutting her eyes as they tumbled into the depths of her sheets.

Natsu moved away from her neck, smirking. "It's almost 1:30 am, you weren't getting sleepy waiting on me for so long?"

Lucy shook her head, grinning lightly. "I'm used to nights like this, remember?"

But they both knew in unspoken words she hadn't been able to properly sleep without his presence here.

Natsu entwined their hands, smirk growing apologetic. "Sorry I kept you waiting. I saw the texts, though I…"

"It's okay; the important thing is you're here now." Lucy interrupted.

And before Natsu could say anything more, she pressed closer to him, matching his heated touches.

"Lucy we don't have to keep doing this. If you're not comfortable I mean, I started this whole thing." He murmured slowly.

Their nights always started like this, hesitancy to kiss each other for too long or get too intimate and by then the same age old question is asked.

Did she really want this?

"Yes, I mean-I'm fine Natsu. You ask me this every night now." She whispered back.

Natsu never seems uncertain about anything, even when she knows he's wrong he still exudes a confidence matched with a boisterous attitude.

So it's odd and maybe a just a little reassuring knowing he's flustered and inexperienced too when it comes to things like this.

He fixed her with a rogue grin, confidence returning as hands traced the outline of her curves. "That was your last warning you know."

Her nerves are a jittery mess at his implication, but she licks her lips and nods. "Yeah, I know."

And then she feels him start to tug away at their clothes and it's hard to restrain averting her gaze to ignore his blatant staring.

"Do you…do you want the lights off?" Natsu suggests at Lucy's fidgeting.

Lucy hurriedly shook her head, cheeks a dark crimson. "Yes! Err well no; I want to see your face…" She reached out cup his face, lightly kissing him in reassurance.

His mouth is hot as his tongue leaves a trail around her nipples to her stomach and she reaches for his still clothed erection burrowing into her thigh between gasps for air.

"Natsu, please I'm-ah!" She moaned, her fingers swirl tighter into his hair as his mouth teases and sucks at her core.

She's going to burst.

"Be patient Luce." Natsu grunts, wincing as he felt her rid him off his boxers. He carefully maneuvered them and pulled her legs apart, positioning himself.

' _It will hurt. It will hurt. It will hurt.'_ Lucy chants to herself forebodingly and when he thrusts in the pain is enough tears blur her eyes.

"Are you okay, Lucy?! Say something!" Natsu calls out to her fuzzily and she weakly squeezes his hand that she's fine.

Blearily opening her eyes though she can see his eyes have taken on an inhuman glow in the light, pleasure bringing a whole new side out of him.

' _Did his eyes always do that?'_

"You're tight." He growls bringing another wave of sensations over her, voice dark and animalistic. Her hips roll to meet his thrusts as her brain shuts down once more. Nails dig into flesh as he warms her with his release over and over again.

"Natsu, are you alright?" Lucy asks as she comes down from her high.

It's hard to focus, body aching for a good shower or sleep to take her away but she looms off the desires to make sure she wasn't seeing things.

Gone is the gleam in his eyes.

' _I wasn't imagining that, was I?'_ She gulps, her stomach constricts and subconsciously she grips at it.

"I'm okay, but are you? I hurt you…" Natsu mentions and Lucy tracks his gaze to the unsightly blue and purple marks starting to stain her skin.

Lucy waved off his concern, searching his expression carefully for anything out of the ordinary.

And before she can properly question him on what it is she's looking for, Natsu reaches over and turns off the lamp light.

"We should really get some sleep now." He asserts, lazily tugging her under the sheets into him.

Lucy let out a whine of protest, but Natsu's even breathing tells her he's already falling asleep.

Jerk couldn't wait until she finished asking him a question.

But then again, maybe she was being foolish. Her vision _**had**_ gotten blurry after all, perhaps she had envisioned a change in his eye color due to the lamp's lighting or in her ecstasy.

That was easier to accept.

-X-

"Can we make this real Luce? Can we stop pretending now?" Natsu repeats.

Lucy stirs for a moment and his chest tenses in surprise, but she soon turns in her sleep, away from the sunlight creeping in through the blinds.

Good, she hadn't heard him…yet.

He sat up a bit more from her, moving fallen blonde locks from her face. She was finally getting the peaceful sleep she had so craved for who knows how long.

A part of him wondered if they would truly make this another habit between them, it was the middle of the week and Lucy hadn't yet awoken in the middle of the night as far as he knew.

Would she be compelled for him to keep coming back every night now?

His phone abruptly rang from his tossed away pants and he grimaced, hurriedly reaching for it before Lucy woke up.

"What do you want ice pick?" Natsu grunted.

He could practically see Gray roll his eyes on the other end.

"That's the best you could come up with? I know it's early, but I expect better." Gray mused.

Natsu simply yawned in response, gazing at the scratches littering his body and back. He would have to come up with some excuse later for all this.

' _I should get Lucy to cut her nails next time.'_ He chuckled at the thought, startling Gray.

"You never came back to the apartment last night, did you pass out in the middle of a field somewhere?" Gray asks.

Natsu snorted, adjusting his phone by his ear as he halfheartedly put on his remaining clothes. "No moron! Geez, I'm at Lucy's place."

He waited for his biting retort, frowning at his long pause. "…Are you still there Gray?"

"You two official then?"

"Ah, maybe by the end of this week. I'll ask her to make sure." Natsu concluded.

That was the best way he could put it without revealing too much.

Or maybe sounding so hopelessly lovesick...

But he can tell Gray is beaming, laughter gently reverberating. "About damn time! Though I guess this means I owe Gajeel those jewels unfortunately."

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Natsu hissed, eyes narrowing.

"Don't worry about it pyro! Anyways…" He trailed off and Natsu arched a brow at his abrupt change to seriousness.

"Lucy's shared her secrets with you, don't you think it's time to return the favor? I've held back on bringing up, but now that things are changing." Gray mentioned lowly.

His breath quickened, a small ache resounds through him as his grip on his phone tightens.

' _It's not the same…'_

"Natsu, who are you talking to?" Lucy asks and he nearly jumps, inadvertently hanging up on Gray in the process.

Lucy giggled, stretching out her arms and flustering when she realizes the show she's giving him.

"It was just Gray, nobody important compared to _**this sight**_ **…"** Natsu hummed.

' _Not your finest moment Lucy.'_ She scolds herself, sinking back into her covers. In truth, she's picked up on the last bits of their conversation and anxiety builds again in the pits of her stomach to ask him what it all means.

"Is this okay Lucy?" Natsu starts and she looks up at him again, traces of red tint his cheeks and her eyes widen as she picks up on what he means.

She's broken her own rules.

But there's no guilt or frustration like she expects, just a ball of nerves left in the wake of their passionate night.

Because there's still so much left to be said and she just can't work up the nerves yet. Not like this, when there too much under the haze of lust still.

"I-I well if we take it slow I suppose." She ventured out softly, she isn't sure if he even heard her.

A wide grin breaks out though on Natsu's face, taking a step forward to her. "Luce, you know what this means right?"

Lucy wrinkled her nose, despite probably not wanting to know the answer, curiosity will get the better of her.

"No, what?"

He leaned closer then, voice airy and downright devilish.

"You're going to lose our bet…"

-x-

 _Happy New Year, hope everyone is having a safe and fun holidays. It's your feedback that helps me to improve so please don't hesitate to share your thoughts with me! Thanks to Naru, Soul-of-glass, Matt427, StellaHeartfilia, and ThatOneFriend-3 for their responses last chapter and as always, thanks for reading!_


	9. Mysteries

**Chapter 9: Mysteries**

Natsu's smile is so very very unnerving.

And Lucy's chest burns as she stares deep into his eyes, because he's acting as if he's _**already**_ won.

They still have a bet going on! The week isn't over yet!

So he has no right to say such things, not yet at least…

"You know it's not Friday yet, right? Nobody has won or lost anything at this point." She asserts, though it comes out scratchy and thick with the haze of leftover sleep and Natsu's chuckling shows he's not taking her seriously.

' _Honestly, could I sound any less sleepy or confident of a win?'_

"Luce just go back to sleep, unless you want to keep enjoying the view." He taunts deviously.

Lucy felt herself flustering all over again, scoffing as she turned away at sight of his flexing muscles.

All still in perfect nudity.

"Oh, just put your stupid clothes on already!" She snapped from beneath her blankets.

' _There were old scars on his chest, I wonder just how many fights has been getting into these past weeks or months that I never knew about?'_

Thinking about it too long brings back the same churning in her stomach and she sucks in slow breaths to calm the familiar racing of her heart around him.

It's nothing to worry about right now she reminds herself, she'll ask him about these things another time.

Sooner or later.

A low groan escapes the bed as Natsu lays back down next to her, even with the covers over her she can feel his stare.

And he moves one hand slowly just enough to bring the sheets down so their eyes can meet.

"Anyways, when I win by Friday evening, I have a lot of plans in mind for the weekend! One of the first things will be for you to be an official member of Fairy Tail! That way you won't need me as access anymore to attend events, meetings, and whatnot." He beamed.

"Eh? I don't have the jewels to pay those membership fees! Besides, isn't it a little too late to be joining considering we're seniors now?" Lucy questioned.

After all, everyone she knows that most people at the university stick with the one or two clubs they joined in their freshman or sophomore year.

Natsu yawned offhandedly as if none of that mattered or _**probably**_ even occurred to him. (Most likely the latter). "Don't worry about those issues Luce, I'll get the old man to take care of it someway! Really what I want is…"

Lucy pursed her lips as he trailed off, surely he didn't have so many stipulations in mind for her?

"What I want is for us to be official, no more running or hiding over our feelings anymore, okay? I mean, well if it's fine with you as well though! There were so many events and parties in the past I wanted to take you to, but you were always so busy cooped up in your room studying, doing a job, or with _**Loke**_ , and-"

Natsu was rambling.

He only seems to get this way around _**her**_ and it shouldn't make her so happy, but her pride and ego are soaring.

It's nice for once to make the first move and shut _**him**_ up.

His lips still hold the same addicting taste of spices and smoke just like from last night and when he deepens the kiss by threading fingers into her hair to hold and bring her closer she completely falls into him.

"Hmm, want to have a round two?" He suggests into the curve of her neck, voice deeper with the beginnings of arousal.

And she swears she catches again a faint spark in his dark eyes.

"Ah, we'll be late for class!" Lucy quickly excuses, hopping off the bed just as his hands reach for her breasts.

She won't get fogged up with lust and let her grades suffer.

Even if her body craves for him more at the moment.

' _I have a little over an hour until Literature, enough time to take a quick shower, change, and look over my notes._ ' Lucy planned, grinding her mind to go back into study mode.

Behind her, she can hear Natsu casually coming up behind her. His hands reaching to give her a hug from behind and she nearly melts at the kiss he presses to her cheek.

"Luce, we have enough time to be quick, look it's barely even 8:00 am." Natsu notes, pointing out her desk clock's time.

"No we don't! Besides, don't you have your pyrotechnics class in 30 minutes?" She retorted back.

He goes silent and that was enough of an answer.

Though he still didn't let go of her, swerving her back around to face him properly.

"Natsu, we really shouldn't…" Lucy starts.

But he lips smolder hers before she can complete herself and when she slowly opens her eyes once more she meets his sinful grin.

"Yeah?" He drawled, fingers slinking, rubbing down her curves. "Your body is in disagreement with you Luce."

Damn him.

"Well, I suppose if we we're quick in the shower…" Lucy purred and Natsu immediately brightened with a nod.

"Okay, okay let me just make sure the water is working. Sometimes Levy and I can't get it to hot." She crooned on, breaking from his grip to walk ahead of him while discreetly grabbing for some new clothes.

Only to lock the door immediately on him as soon as she was inside.

A fit of giggles bubbled up at Natsu's banging and sheer confusion. "Lucy that's playing dirty; I'll get you back!"

"You didn't think it would be _**that**_ easy, did you? I'm not going to completely bend all my rules so fast." She called back teasingly.

Now she knew why it was so much fun for Levy and Juvia to mess with their own boyfriends…

' _Boyfriend and girlfriend, so that's really what we are, huh?'_ This was the airy and light feelings she had been missing out on, denying herself.

Natsu halted his pounding for a moment, speaking up again. "You do know that I know how to pick and break locks, _**right**_?"

He just had to add in that seductiveness to his tone, didn't he…?

And Lucy rolled her eyes, of course he did.

It was a short-lived victory.

-X-

"Juvia wants to hear it again! And start from the very beginning!" Juvia squealed, peeking her head up from her book for probably the fifth time.

Lucy could practically see stars shining in her eyes at her gleefulness.

She quietly shushing her as their teacher turned their away, her voice carrying in the relative silence of the library.

After all, they were _**supposed**_ to be writing their reports on 18th or 19th century literary poets and writers and how their works influenced their time period.

Not gossiping.

So far, she had only gotten about half a page done, there was still another page and a half that needed to be typed and they had less than an hour of class left. If she didn't finish, she would have to turn it online by 9 o clock tonight.

' _I'm getting this done now, the last thing I need is extra work on my plate later on with the other new biology and astrology assignments that came up already…'_

"Juvia, can we please just focus on our work instead? There isn't much to repeat anyways, Natsu just declared himself my 'sleeping buddy' and takes to breaking into my room to help me rest at night." She hissed.

Juvia arched a brow, clearly wanting more. "And _**nothing**_ comes of these nightly meetings?"

Her face burned and she rapidly shook her head, voice failing her.

But Juvia smirked, twirling a finger slowly through her sapphire locks. "Hmm…"

Oh, she knew where this was going.

"Juvia is doing her report on Robert Browning, particularly the poem Meeting at Night." She went on with a hum.

Lucy forced a smile, cheeks still hot. "And I suppose you're going to tell me how this poem will connect to Natsu and me right?"

Juvia beamed, nodding her head excitedly. "Well, just towards the end really! You didn't have to tell Juvia _**all**_ the details you know, she already got all that she needed from asking Levy."

Oh, she and Levy were going to have a _**long**_ conversation after this. Mainly involving some lewd photos of her and Gajeel she had tucked away for situations like this…

"It's so romantic: A tap at the pane, the quick sharp scratch and a blue spurt of a lighted match. And a voice less loud, thro' its joys and fears than the two hearts beating each to each. That's just the last 4 lines of the second stanza." She recited.

Lucy clicked her tongue, typing up a few more sentences before she smoldered a grin at the idea that came to her. Opening up a new tab next to her document, she did a quick search of passionate/sexy poems online.

"Juvia, why don't you send this one to Gray? It might go well with his stripping habit." She asked in a light singsong voice, allowing Juvia to scoot over to see.

"…Starving and craving for an evening of erotic bliss, where dreams come true in just one kiss? Juvia would never send Gray something so…so naughty; Juvia could write a better poem than that!" She read aloud, reddening before lightly shoving her at her snickering.

Their teacher sent them another glare and they quickly scrambled back to their positions.

Her eyes were beginning to burn from staring at a computer screen so much though, she needed a break.

"Hey, I'm going to take a small walk to see if I find any more classical literature books." She murmured to Juvia, stretching her arms out.

Juvia sent her a quick nod, diving back into her work as if they had never been talking.

' _Let's see where the renaissance section at was again?'_ She wondered. Their class had been huddled in a small area on the first floor despite the vast space Magnolia's library had for them to spread out.

Despite the tight space though, she loved being in the throes of the library, especially at this time of day when hardly anyone was around. Sunlight poured in through the windows, lighting rows of mahogany shelves and specks of dust. Magnolia University prided itself on the generations of books they kept, and she could see why with the wide range of collections surrounding her on all sides.

Just as she strolled down another aisle, she heard the sound of two voices not too far off.

"So, Lucy really is dating Natsu now?" The first voice asked.

Her eyes widened then. This deep, baritone voice… ' _Loke?'_

She hurriedly squatted herself out of view near a pile of books laid out haphazardly. Whoever he was talking to, they were purposely keeping their voices low.

"Wow man, that certainly sucks for you. Having her break up with you, sabotage your chances with _**the**_ Minerva, and then slander your name in school's newspaper." The other man whistled.

Loke scoffed, the sound of his fist jabbing against the bookshelf reverberating. "Well, Lucy and I had been done physically and emotionally a long time before Natsu came into the picture, his presence just speeded things up. And anyways, it's not like Lucy knows what she's getting into by getting into a relationship with him."

Lucy bit her lip not to yell out; the blood is hot and metallic on her tongue.

The other man chuckled and Lucy wished she could get a good look at his face, at least so it could be imprinted in her mind.

"Hmm, that's right. Don't the Dragneel's have that strange nickname or history to be called Dragons or something because of-?" But he's quickly hushed by Loke before Lucy can catch any more of what he says.

"Don't be so loud, there are other people around after all."

And her heart nearly stops when his gaze begins to go in her direction, only to realize he's noticed a couple of other students walking by.

She quickly begins to backtrack away from them before she risks getting caught, conversation echoing over and over in her thoughts.

' _Dragon?'_ Maybe she hadn't heard them right.

That wasn't a nickname she had _**ever**_ heard used in relation to Natsu.

But her chest tightened knowing people knew this secret of Natsu's, but she didn't. This had to be how he felt when she was still keeping him in the dark over her own troubles.

Just how dangerous of a secret was it for her to know if people like even Loke were so tightlipped on it?

She'd get her answers though.

One way or another.

-X-

' _I hate when it rains.'_ Natsu scowled.

Spring weather lately has been annoyingly fickle, but at least the familiar summer heat is arriving soon in the coming weeks.

The rain has been coming down in slow waves throughout the day. Cold enough at times for frozen pellets to bounce along the pavement as he trudges from class.

He wrapped his scarf closer around his neck, ignoring how the wind continued to tangle and make it slide around.

Stupid wind.

Stupid technician assignment he _**still**_ had yet to completely finish.

"It isn't due until Sunday at midnight so I have time at least." He grumbled to himself, pausing at the sound of laughter up ahead.

' _Lucy?'_

She's just far ahead enough to not hear or notice him, sharing an umbrella with Levy while Gajeel can barely get any covering.

"So, you'll help with me this project Levy? I know it's not exactly school-related, but you're one of the best researchers I know…" Lucy trailed off, grin brightening at her nod.

"Oh, you know there's no need to butter me up Lucy! Besides, this whole enigma plan is interesting; right Gajeel?" Levy mused, elbowing Gajeel to join in.

Gajeel simply shrugged, much to her annoyance. "Salamander won't like it."

And Natsu's ears perked up at that, trailing closer.

Gajeel knew he was there.

Lucy pouted, fidgeting with the one arm loosely holding her backpack. "Natsu won't mind! There's…there's nothing wrong with me wanting to help him in any way possible. He's doing it for me after all…"

Her voice crackled and grew soft and Natsu restrained himself from breaking his position to go comfort her.

"Of course there's nothing wrong! You didn't mean it _**that**_ way, did you Gajeel?" Levy emphasized warningly with a glare back towards him.

Gajeel scowled, opening his mouth before closing it with a short shake of his head.

He didn't need to look back to know Natsu was snickering over this.

' _Well, you won't be for long. Gihihi.'_

"Look bunny girl, you don't even know exactly what Loke meant when he used the word 'Dragon.' If you even heard him right. He could've been talking about how his last name sounds similar to it or his personality." Gajeel grunted.

Lucy hummed thoughtfully. It was one possibility she had to admit, but the way he had stated it with such calm contempt, a vileness that made her heart quicken and stomach knot.

It couldn't be something as simple as that.

"Well whatever the meaning behind it, we'll get to the bottom of it! Come on, let's get back to the dorms before this weather gets any worse." Levy stated, trailing ahead with Lucy quickly moving to catch up.

Natsu stared between the pair for a moment longer before sighing.

"Asshole, why bother coming up with those stupid excuses knowing it would egg them on?!" He griped.

Gajeel simply grinned, shoving his hands into his pockets. "To get your reaction of course…and also for laughing at my expense."

Natsu snorted, crossing his arms. "I can't help it if you're whipped!"

They walked in silence for a good while then, the rain beginning to let up once more, peaks of light breaking through the stream of gray clouds.

"I-I don't want Lucy to find out about that connection to me just yet. She'll jump to wrong conclusions or worse get mixed up in it and we've just barely started dating too…" Natsu muttered, mainly to himself.

"Yeah, and how do you think _**she**_ felt back when you kept trying to pry her secrecy over her insomnia out? Now the situation has just been reversed." Gajeel questioned.

Natsu stopped walking then, gritting his teeth. There's a rage and fear simmering in the pit of his chest at knowing what Lucy is trying to do.

' _It's in your blood Natsu, stop trying to fight it.'_

He had been told those words by his family so, so many times…

"Are you going to try to stop her?" Gajeel went on curiously.

His voice seems so far away despite him being right next to him.

And Natsu sighed, wishing he hadn't asked him such a painful question.

"I don't know yet."

-X-

"Natsu's going to be by soon." Lucy yawns out again. Her bedroom clock ticks agonizingly closer to 1:00 am.

Levy has already gone to Juvia's hours ago to crash in spite of her protests.

The last name Dragneel and Dragons hadn't turned up much in their searching, every lead they get seems to always go to a dead end.

As if on purpose to mock them; maybe she wasn't meant to know.

So she had given up for now, saving the most interesting/unique information they had found to a desktop file before switching to the rest of her school subjects.

' _Tonight, I can actually get a clear view of the constellations.'_ She noted with a glance to her window. The skies had cleared up enough from the earlier rains, allowing a few stars to be visible amongst the blackness.

She wrapped her blankets closer, leaning her head against her palm as she studied the formations. It was a skill her mother taught her, to look towards the night sky and trace out all the figures she could whenever she had trouble falling asleep.

' _Some people use sheep to count at night, or use age old herbal remedies and whatnot, but I use the stars. There's the zodiacs we use for horoscopes, Orion the hunter, Ursa Major and Ursa Minor…the list goes on.' Layla murmured into Lucy's hair._

 _And Lucy followed as she guided her fingers to connect each star to form a figure, eyes drifting closed as she went through them one by one._

That trick doesn't work anymore though.

Because all of that was yesterday. The past…

"You're going to get a crick in your neck doing that." Natsu mentions and Lucy nearly jolts out of her chair in bewilderment.

"Ugh, don't scare me like that! Geez, you always burst into my room without warning." Lucy complained, shifting herself to stretch and head to bed before she indeed woke up with any new pains.

Natsu shrugged, plopping down on her beside her. "I tried calling your name, but you were so zoned out. Sorry I'm late, I had to go back to my place to grab some of my blankets. You tend to be a blanket hog in the middle of sleep in case you didn't know."

Lucy reddened slightly as he wiped away at the drool on her lips, she had not only dozed off in an awkward position, but Natsu had been standing there for who knows how long just watching her.

His stare can see deep into walls she's so perfectly crafted to hide from the world. Even though sleeping near him has helped ward off her insomnia, it isn't a cure.

And they both know it considering she's still up at this hour, she still has a long way to go before she can get to the nights where she won't need him anymore…

"I don't 'hog' blankets! It's probably because you didn't consider that your sleeping buddy idea would require a bed large enough for both of us." She huffed.

Natsu arched a brow with a smirk then and Lucy instantly knew he took it the wrong way.

"Luce, if you want to sleep back at my place knowing my bed is bigger you can just say so!"

She responded by smothering him with a pillow.

"Don't try to hide it Luce, I already know you like to play _**rough**_." He teased, pushing the pillow aside to tickle at her sides.

And it's so much fun to hear her squeals and giggles divulge into moans.

"Tomorrow is the real final night you know. Before I truly win this bet of ours." He whispers against her lips, before kissing her again.

Oh, how he wants to get rid of these clothing barriers between them, to hold her close until they both release.

But she pushes him off slowly in the midst of it, instead coiling into his chest. Her breath is fast and hot against him and part of him wonders why she wants to suddenly stop until he sees the sadness in her brown eyes.

"I need you to be my heater tonight too." She murmurs out, snuggling into him until she's found a comfortable spot.

"Lovemaking gives off heat too." Natsu grumbled into her hair and her laughter rumbles across his chest.

"Moron. I wonder what mom would've thought of you…" She trailed off.

Her breathing evens out before he can ask her what she means.

"Guess, I'll bug it out of you in the morning." Natsu mused, kissing her forehead before leaning back.

Only to sit up again as he noticed an odd glow flickering by her desk.

' _Her computer's still on? She must've forgotten to turn it off when she busied herself studying and waiting on me.'_ He realized.

He carefully sat up to go power it off, halting at the file name Dragneel-Dragon on her desktop.

His eyes widened a fraction. She truly had tried to do some research, but how much had she found? He shifted the cursor over the file, there wasn't much to see except years old articles; she hadn't discovered much then.

Yet.

That was one thing, Dragneel's left no traces of _**anything**_ that could potentially show them in a negative light or could cause ugly rumors to circulate.

' _You know what happens to those that try to get into our business little brother…'_

"I could destroy the files, but it's all her hard work." He whispered.

He ventured back to stare at Lucy's sleeping form for a long while listlessly before turning back and moving the cursor once more.

-x-

 _I'm curious to see if people will guess correctly or not on what exactly Natsu will do lol, send in your thoughts/feedback! Shout-outs to Hi, Trevon, maxridelover, Soul-of-glass, Edo-Salandria, silver light of dawn, ThatOneFriend-3 for their responses last chapter and big thanks as always to everyone for reading!_


	10. Devil's Invite

**Chapter 10: Devil's Invite**

A hushed breath, a gulp to swallow his nerves.

For another minute, Natsu taps his fingers emptily against Lucy's keyboard.

And meanwhile the file continue to stares back at him, mockingly in a light glow of the dark room.

In the end, he can't destroy it. This hard work Lucy's compiled…

' _She's a part of the school's newspaper team. It's practically like a second job for her to do things like this, deleting the file would only encourage her to search further, to delve deeper…'_

Lucy stirs and turns over in her sleep, hands subconsciously reaching for the vacant space he once occupied.

His heart feels like it stops for a second, thumping wildly as she shifts again; time evidently isn't on his side tonight.

He doesn't hesitate much longer to simply shift the mouse key to the shutdown option, watching as the screen flickers again momentarily before going completely black.

"Where'd you go?" Lucy slurs out drowsily to his surprise as he sinks back under the covers. Had she'd been awake this whole time?

' _No, Lucy's a light sleeper; it's just her insomnia acting up.'_ He reminded himself.

Still, his body is stiff and cautious as his mind fumbles for an excuse.

"Ah, just to the bathroom." Natsu mumbled. The lie comes out much more muddled than he pictured it would, but Lucy simply yawns in reply, not seeming to notice or even care.

He doesn't get much sleep the further the night goes on, mind dizzily spinning over the image of the articles.

" _Dragon is just another family alias we go by occasionally. There's no reason to be so ashamed of it or try to hide it from your friends...unless they try to get in our way that is." Zeref mused._

 _Natsu clenched his fists then, expression hardening at his cool façade._

" _It's not such a cute little 'pet name' when people look at you in fear when they start to realize or notice our connections…"_

" _Good. Fear stops people from being nosy where they shouldn't be. And anyways, it's in your blood already Natsu. You can't run from me or our family ties forever by pretending going off to college will stop everything." Zeref interrupted, and it's impossible to miss the growing malice now in his tone._

" _Watch me."_

"BUZZ, BUZZ!"

Natsu cracked open one eye before closing it slowly, for once Lucy is the one who's awake first. Her hands reach for her phone in a horrible attempt to botch the noise, sighing quietly when it's just a new text message.

"Sorry about that." She whispers into him and he flutters his eyes open once more to look at her. Her blonde hair is in disarray, sticking out in practically every direction, but then his gaze drifts down to cream skin exposed in the sunlight and her cheeks fluster.

"How _**sorry**_ are you?" He emphasized in return.

Lucy shrugged, waiting for a half-hearted perverted joke, not-so-subtle grope, or even a lazy good morning kiss thick with the haze of agonizing morning breathe.

But Natsu is falling asleep again.

And it's hard not to hide the swift flash of disappointment that sweeps over her.

"Natsu, you okay? _**I'm**_ supposed to be the one that has trouble sleeping; not you." Lucy laughed quietly, she traced the faint outlines of bags under his eyes and frowned.

Her joking stopped as Natsu began to squirm at her behavior.

' _What's wrong with him?'_

Were they awake too early perhaps? A quick glance at her phone again shows it's already past 9:30. The blinds in her room are still closed, trapping any light from seeping in.

"I saw it." Natsu states, breaking her from her thoughts.

His voice is scratchy and muffled by the sheets, but she heard him.

"Saw what?" She murmurs back.

Her stomach flips and coils at his silence, her heartbeat begins to grow so loud she can begin to hear it in her ears.

"You wanted to know so badly why in certain circles I hold the nickname 'Dragon', didn't you?" He instigated further.

And Lucy wished she had looked away before his dark eyes shot her such an accusatory stare.

But she refused to back down.

"Yes, I did! I'm not going to apologize for being worried about you or wanting to help if I could!" She shot back.

Natsu paused, sitting up slightly. His head instantly pounds from the lack of sleep, but he needs to clarify things.

"Luce, don't be mad." He starts, though Lucy is already rolling over in childish stubbornness and he breathes in slowly to think and not to create any more tension.

"I have my reasons for not telling you know, I don't want you to get mixed up in it all." He says after a while and immediately he bit his tongue as the words left his mouth.

He sounds too much like his brother.

Lucy turned back over to face him and he winced.

Hypocrite.

Pink lips are sealed tightly together, but he knew that was what she was going to say, or at least it was what most likely was running through her mind.

He intertwined their fingers despite her resistance, pressing their foreheads together. Auburn eyes bore at him with a mix of confusion and frustration he longed to ease without spilling the complete truth.

"What…what would you say or do if I told you to stop trying to look up the meaning behind that old nickname?" He muttered slowly.

And Lucy cracked a wry grin then.

She was going to double her efforts now, despite his protests and seriousness over the manner and he scowled in return.

"I would say hell no."

-X-

' _That stupid, infuriating, self-centered, annoying, jerk!'_

Oh, there were plenty of _**other**_ adjectives she could've used as well to describe Natsu at the moment, but that would only keep her further distracted from the rest of her homework.

"Lucy, you've been groaning and huffing to yourself over there for the past hour. Are you sure you're okay or don't need my help with something?" Levy asked.

She smashed her hands a bit too unnecessarily loudly against her desk in surprise, pushing herself back from the table.

"Yup, just fine!" She chirped out, ignoring the throbbing pain running through her reddening fingers.

Levy rolled her eyes.

"So…you and Natsu have any plans for Spring Break?" She began casually.

Lucy restrained back the snort itching to bubble up. The last thing she really wanted right now was to spend any more time near Natsu after their earlier squabble, but…

She couldn't go back to home to her father either.

Natsu _**had**_ stated he had so many ideas in mind for them to do though. Even last year, he had attempted to beckon her to come with him and a few other Fairy Tail members to some retreat in the mountains, but at the time she had still been dating Loke…

Her stomach twisted at the memories, shaking them away hurriedly.

"I don't really know yet." She answered honestly enough.

Levy lit up excitedly, holding up a pamphlet. "Really, good! You can convince Natsu then to come with us!"

"With you where?" Lucy murmured, reaching to get the pamphlet from her hands.

"South Shore Resort and Spa at Fiore!" Levy practically squealed as Lucy read over the information.

"It has these perfect sandy beaches and an aqua park on site that we can even go to! Oh, Juvia was telling me all about it and even showing me pictures of it when she went there with Gray during the holidays last year! And I was looking up packages yesterday with Gajeel and they have this exclusive couples one when you-"She paused at Lucy's silence.

"What's wrong?" Levy questioned.

Her chest squeezes at how much the fervor is suddenly gone from her voice, dropping low and nervous.

And Lucy flashed her best fake smile, already knowing it's unconvincing.

It wasn't that she _**didn't**_ want to go, the pictures and Levy's descriptions already made the area sound breathtaking. Beaches that went on for miles surrounding by crystal blue waters and lush gardens could appeal to anyone.

But…

"I-I don't know Levy, Natsu's been a bit lately, err I wonder how I could put it…" Lucy trailed off.

"Asinine? Assholey? Annoying?" Levy guessed, smiling a bit at Lucy's giggling.

"No, but you can move on to all the negative B words you can think of next." She mused.

Levy swerved in her chair, sapphire locks bouncing with the motion as hazel eyes widened in realization.

"He found out about the Dragon search, didn't he?" She breathed in a hushed tone.

Lucy swallowed the knot in her throat before nodding.

"He was mad, however…I'm not sorry for trying to do research on it. He tried to convince me otherwise to stop, but he refused to go into details over the nickname and why I should even stop in the first place!"

Levy smiled sympathetically then, plopping up out of her chair. "Well, he can just stay angry then! It's not like he didn't resort to such sneaking around when trying to find out about your insomnia!"

Lucy shrugged, gulping down some of her mint tea distractedly. Her stomach refused to untangle itself from the guilt weighing on her that they were arguing over something that may have truly been so petty.

' _It's probably just some embarrassing story behind it he doesn't want me to know yet…I'm just jumping to worse case scenarios…'_

"Lucy, just call him and clear the air the between you two! I want you guys to come with us to take advantage of the special deals!" Levy hummed, tossing her phone to her from her bed.

Lucy fiddled with her phone for a moment, peering outside. It was late into the afternoon, streaks of light orange and red ran across the sky as the day grew darker.

Maybe Natsu was just now getting out of his final class of the day?

Her heart fluttered as her face burned at the image of him leaving his emergency fire safety class. Sweaty from the singe of smoke on him, exhausted, and probably hungry…

' _No, no you're still mad at him.'_

"Anyways, I'll leave you to your thoughts! I'll be back in an hour or so you can out head out to dinner at the student center without me!" Levy chimed knowingly, swinging her backpack over her shoulder and fishing for her keys from her pocket.

Lucy pouted, getting up as well to almost trail after her. "Where are you going?"

And this time Levy smiled sheepishly, cheeks gaining a pinkish hue.

"Oh, nowhere really. Just this late evening welding class with Gajeel. He wanted us to have at least one class together and you know how he is about reading anything for too long."

Lucy smirked, waving off her blatant lies. "Whatever you say…"

Though when she's truly gone and she's alone to the silence of their room, she picks up her phone once more and fingers trembling, presses Natsu's name.

Natsu's voice is rough and thick with fatigue and she tries so so hard to ignore a giddiness rising up in her.

"Luce, what's wrong? I thought you said you weren't going to talk to me for a month."

Giddiness broken.

There's no mistaking _**that**_ mischievous, charming tone of his. He couldn't have expected her to call him first, especially not with the bickering they had done after he had left the other night.

And with gritted teeth, she bites back a curse or giving into his silly games.

"No, geez don't be a smartass with me right now! I just had a question to ask you."

The line goes quiet and for a second Lucy almost thought Natsu had disconnected, but then his heavy sigh comes and she can tell he's scratching his cheek in his usual uncomfortable fashion.

"Well, you're persistent so shoot."

She's pretty sure her question was the last thing he expected out of her.

"So…did you have any plans for Spring Break…For us?"

-X-

"I see it's finally happened." Gray spoke as he munched on his sandwich.

Natsu shot him a look, but Gray continued on. "You're fascination with flames and what not has finally messed with and melted your brain."

Natsu leaned back in his chair, eyes bearing towards their off white ceiling. Honestly, why did he think Gray would have anything _**positive**_ to say about this whole situation?

"I'm surprised you even still have all your limbs knowing how much you like to plummet into freezing temperatures for the sake of 'research'."

Gray chuckled, scraping away at bread crumbs on his lips. "Hmm, not your best comeback, but I'll take it."

Natsu snorted, sitting up straight again. "I'm tired."

Gray arched a brow then as he gulped down the rest of his drink. "From what? You just woke up from a 3 hour nap."

He made an irritating point.

It was nightfall now, the apartment cooler than he last imagined from all the nights he had been away at Lucy's and Gray refused to use any form of heat to warm the place.

And he dodged all of his questions of why he wasn't at her place.

Fingers pull through his fuchsia locks once more in frustration, he still hadn't properly given Lucy an answer; instead telling her he would call her back.

' _Am I not allowed to help you or be worried? Why…' Lucy's trailed off._

 _Lips tightened as tears shimmered in her eyes._

"It's not like that Luce, please understand." Natsu muttered to himself, Gray studied with him a stern look and he sighed as he gazed up at once more.

"You know…you've never given me much of a good explanation either." He warranted.

Natsu arched a brow.

Gray scoffed, crossing his arms. "Don't feign stupidity. I mean why exactly is it that you get so annoyed and bothered when people bring up that nickname Dragon? I know you said the history behind it is negative and you don't like to talk about it, but you can't put it off or hide it forever, especially if you want things to be serious with Lucy."

Natsu grunted, a whirl of images passing through his mind. The sound of bullets going off, men and women's screaming alike.

The permeating scent of blood on him and others…

"I have a good reason not to, this underground business my brother's created was one I never wanted to get into, but it seems like he was right. I can't escape doing bad behavior." Natsu mused.

Gray snorted, pointing to the fading bruise he had given him weeks ago for Fairy Tail's anniversary party.

"If you're spooked because you've gotten in trouble with administration a few times-"

"No, you don't get it!" Natsu hissed in interruption, banging a fist down against the table.

The sound quakes into the silence of the room, even the buzz of crickets outside seems to momentarily stop at his action.

Natsu stiffened, coughing a small apology.

"Look, Zeref believes there's no escaping from me eventually heading down the same paths of crime like him. He always creeped me out when he said things like that, mentioning things like experimenting, manipulation, hypnosis." He shivered as goosebumps prickled his skin.

"I don't want Lucy to know about such grizzly things, but…I'm scared she's already started to see the signs. The changes when we're intimate, or when I'm seriously pissed…maybe she'll up and leave me now with how much I keep screwing things up." Natsu finished.

He expected Gray to laugh or sneer, but all he hears out of him is a soft groan.

"When shit started getting bad when I was dealing with my old man's death who do you think was there for me?" He calmly asked.

"Juvia." He responded simply. Why was he telling him this?

But then it soon clicks and he wants to punch himself.

"This isn't the same type of situation though, Lucy wouldn't want to, I mean this type of thing could get her killed being involved." Natsu stopped himself.

He's just fumbling over excuses.

Gray smirked, standing up to wash his plate. "Guess you have your answer now. Now stop being a wimp and call her to tell her you want to go with her on that trip you were mentioning before and that you're sorry you've been such a pathetic loser up until now though thanks to Gray you snapped out of it!"

Natsu rolled his eyes, despite the smile itching to rise up. This moron…

His phone is still in the same spot he left it as he approaches back into room, moonlight drifting over the edges lighting up the fire charms he had attached to it.

He slowly relaxed his breathing, tightening and untightening his fingers at their growing numbness, he can feel his phone growing hotter as his compressing it.

A trip away from the university could be what they needed after all, away from prying eyes and gossip so they could reconnect and truly talk.

"No more putting this off."

-X-

"Levy, are you sure this was the best way for us to travel?!" Lucy complained.

Levy smiled weakly, one hand brushing through Gajeel's spiky hair while the other kept their belongings close.

"Yes, you know air travel would be too expensive and going by car would take too long! Besides, it's not so bad, right? We have our boyfriends here to keep us company!" She attempted.

Lucy glowered, making her seem to shrink back even more.

The sound of retching echoed through the air once again.

"Natsu, I told you to take your anti-nausea medicine before we left." Lucy huffed, rubbing her hands against his back slowly.

"You never told me we were going to go by train though; I'd rather walk!" Natsu slurred burying himself into her lap much her embarrassment and annoyance.

"Gajeel's not complaining, I don't see why you are." Lucy grumbled, feeling her face flush more so when Natsu moved his snuggling upward. Part of her was starting to wonder if he was _**really**_ feeling that motion sick…

"Gajeel fell asleep awhile go, that's probably why." Levy hummed, turning her slightly towards the window to observe the scenery.

It was a clear day out as a slight breeze passed over them, the train whizzing by endless fields of grasslands overlooking Magnolia. Spring break had come at the perfect time, it wasn't too cold or hot for them to wear shorts and forgo their jackets and long sleeves for once.

"Attention passengers, we will be arriving at the South station of Fiore in approximately 30 minutes. Please make sure you have all your belongings with you before leaving the train." A voice announced over the intercom.

Levy nudged Gajeel hearing that, earning her a soft growl as crimson eyes flickered open briefly before closing almost immediately.

"Hey! I'm trying to wake you up! We're going to be arriving soon!" Levy snapped, poking him a bit rougher than before until Gajeel grunted out a fine.

"You'll have to pay me back for waking me up early." Gajeel yawned out and Levy scoffed to hide the reddish tinge rising on her cheeks.

Lucy restrained back a smile, this mix of bickering and flirting they had going on…

She peered back down to Natsu, surprised to see his gaze already on her. There's a hint of a smile in his expression that makes the butterflies return to her stomach.

Perhaps she truly will get the answers she wants out of him by the end of this trip.

"Let's hit the buffet before it closes up shorty, you and salamander coming?" Gajeel grumbled once they had finished checking in.

Lucy barely murmured out that they would catch up, still enthralled with all the scenery around them. Pristine marble tiles shine brightly under the glow of an array of chandeliers surrounded by fanciful art structures and plants.

' _I've never seen anything this lavish since leaving home…'_

"I already called Gray even though I know he's been a pet-sitter for me before to make sure he properly put out some food and water for Happy. So what do you want to do first? The pool? The spa? _**The bedroom?**_ " Natsu suggested eagerly.

Lucy whacked him lightly, beaming nonetheless. "We can go to the bedroom to drop off our luggage and _**only**_ that for now. I want to take a stroll around the area, unless you're hungry?"

Natsu shook his head, intertwining their fingers. "Nah, we don't have to do everything Gajeel and Levy do at the same time. It's better that we spend some alone time together."

Her heart jumps inevitably, hope gathering in the pit of her chest.

' _Is he…?'_

She isn't sure what to make of him at times, just mentioning the word 'Dragon' now sends him on high alert. Maybe if she _**does**_ broach the subject, she should do it when he's full from eating or half asleep.

But for right now she pushes those thoughts aside. Natsu is happy and worry-free, just like she should be.

Their room is just as decorative as the main lobby, satin blue and white sheets fresh with the scent of lavender and jasmine.

A note falls to the ground as Natsu hops into the bed while Lucy opened the curtains to look at their beachfront view.

When she turns back to look at him though an unease settles in her throat.

She frowns as the smile leaves his face at reading the fallen note.

"What's wrong? Isn't that just a welcome letter they give to all guests?" She questioned.

Natsu is quiet for a moment, anger flashing in his expression before he crumbles the note.

"Uh, well yes and no I suppose. It wasn't really from the hotel…it was from my brother." He responds slowly, as if deciding whether or not he should say more.

Lucy is clearly confused, chestnut eyes wide and perplexed. He hardly ever speaks of his brother after all, so how does he know there even here?

It's a question he wants to know too.

Though he swallows down the ball of knots in his chest aching to keep quiet. He promised himself he would be more open to Lucy on this trip about his problems, about his secrets…

So he has to come clean.

"What did he want?" Lucy continues on, already sensing this tightness in his tone, this growing apprehension. She plops down beside him, eyes never leaving his.

"He requests my presence back home at my soonest possible chance."

-x-

 _After getting sick over this past week with a sore throat (turned out to be my tonsils were inflamed, still have an annoying runny nose), I wasn't sure if I was properly going to be able to get this chapter out on time, but I'm glad I did; I hope you guys enjoyed it and it turned out okay, I'm always open to suggestions and almost to 100 favorites, yay! Thanks to , Soul-of-glass, fafou14, maxridelover for your responses last chapter and everyone for reading! :)_


	11. Duplicity

**Chapter 11: Duplicity**

Maybe he could just ignore it.

Pretend he never saw this message his brother sent for him.

But next to him Lucy's eyes are slowly growing wide and curious, sparkling with an aching interest he wished she didn't have as she subtly attempts to lean over to read said note once more.

"How…How did he know you were here? And how will you respond?" She whispers in rising eagerness into the silence of the room.

Natsu felt his throat go dry.

And after a while he simply shrugged, crumpling and tossing the message towards the trash bin.

"I don't know…all I know is _**now**_ is not a good time to go back." ' _Or ever really.'_

Lucy pursed her lips then, clearly unsatisfied with his answer.

And before he can even question her, she pushes him down into the bedspread, hovering over him as a stern expression graces her features.

"Tell me." She demanded softly.

Because _**surely**_ he doesn't think she hasn't seen him snooping through her files or phone when he thinks she's fast asleep.

His tale tell scent shouldn't be by her computer or phone that much.

' _I'll put an end to this now and corner him.'_ Lucy asserts to herself proudly.

Though her confidence is slipping just a tad at seeing Natsu's amused grin…

Natsu scoffed, testing the waters. "Or else? Will you keep us in this _**compromising**_ position?" He crooned.

He beamed at the rise of pink that flushed her cheeks, grunting when she abruptly decided to shift their bodies closer.

"No…" Lucy purred, smile too sweet that Natsu gritted his teeth at having to hear what she wanted.

"This would be the _**last**_ time our bodies are this close for a _ **long**_ time if you don't start spilling some real answers out. Now." She finished coolly.

Well shit.

"Zeref is a doctor/pharmacist, he takes on a wide variety of patients all throughout Fiore and other nearby regions." Natsu grumbled.

' _That was easy.'_ Lucy mentally congratulated herself, she wasn't even going to _**really**_ hold back on sex/intimacy; she had only wanted to see what his reaction would be…

It worked.

But it's a small victory nonetheless, Natsu's face has gone empty and frustrated, dark eyes hidden beneath his pink hair.

She lifts up strands of fuchsia locks to truly look at him, breathing to calm the ball of nerves settling in her chest.

"Go on." Lucy urged.

Because he hasn't said anything negative or bad…yet.

"Dragneel Pharmaceuticals is the company he runs, he was always an experimenter of sorts by mixing different drugs together to see how they affected the body. He became successful once it spread that he was known to help relieve or cure patient's pain or infections." Natsu explained.

"That doesn't explain though…?" Lucy brought up, but Natsu shook his head.

"He became _**too**_ curious though, too successful, and perhaps too powerful. He started investigating and carrying out trials on more and more people with stronger pain medicines, narcotics that you could only get by prescription. People started to become dependent on him, lured by the addiction now to reach that same high again, and I…I helped him." He finished.

Natsu shut his eyes, he can feel sweat forming at his palms as his stomach twists and his heart pounds louder.

"People in this secret underground black market he runs are afraid of our family. I was nicknamed 'Dragon' for the methods I used to keep people quiet, if guns, bribes, or threats didn't work; I used fire. But, I wanted to do more with my life than continue to be in my brother's shadow. I left, though…the family bonds can't be escaped from that easily."

Lucy must _**surely**_ loathe him now. He pictures the disgust marring her face as another rush of cold shivers jab at his skin.

"Natsu don't do that, biting your tongue and lips leave nasty blood stains and cuts." She calls out to him.

He reopens his eyes and finds himself staring into a concerned gaze.

Now she knows everything, the implications of what happens to those that _**don't**_ pay up, stand in his brother's way, or try to interfere.

"Your parents can't put a stop to this somehow or know about this?" She asks meekly.

Natsu's laugh comes out choked and hollow.

"Stop? They used to help him Luce before they died. Igneel maybe could've done something before he realized the extent of what was truly going on, but it's too late now I don't think even he-"

Lucy leaned forward into him rather than let him go on, lips brushing against his growing bruised ones. The familiar metallic taste of blood stains her tongue once more.

"Y-You don't have to say any more Natsu." She mumbled into his chest.

And she smiles as she listens to his heartbeat, hurried and frantic slowing as he moves his arms to wrap around her.

"I'm sorry I didn't properly tell you sooner." He apologizes.

Lucy shook her head, blonde hair tickling at his nose. "Don't worry; I understand."

Natsu soon shifted them then, maneuvering them so now its Lucy pinned against the sheets. He licked his lips slowly as he gazed over her, clasping their hands together as he moved to kiss her properly.

"I don't want to think about his letter right now Luce or all those gruesome scenes, I want to _**forget**_. Help me get it off my mind." He implored heatedly by her ear when they broke away for air.

' _We shouldn't really…'_ Her thoughts start warningly.

Because there are other ways they can end the topic besides giving into lust.

Natsu kisses her again though until she's truly winded, lips a bright and swollen red as he grinded closer to her. Sweat gathers in their most private regions as she resisted the urge to squirm.

"Please Luce, stop thinking so hard on this; this isn't like some equation you need to solve you know." He muttered.

She would've rolled her eyes over his remark if not for his deepening gaze.

"Are you coming undone?" He chuckles lowly at her slip of a moan, pressing tighter towards her core.

Lucy squeezed her eyes shut, breathing going shallow. As much as she doesn't want to give in to his ego just yet…

"Yes."

That's all he needs to hear.

And her hands brush back into the curve of his neck as she falls into him, lifting and loosening away at their clothed boundaries. His hands brush slowly and methodically over every part of her, unfastening her bra while she dazedly moved for his jeans.

Natsu is painfully languish with his movements, teeth pinching at her peaked nipples before moving a trail of kisses downward to her main arousal.

And her own fingers reach to grasp at his erection, curse escaping him as she licks the tip of his shaft.

"Lucy…" He hisses, a mix of curse and growl to tug her closer. His hands twist and grab at strands of her hair.

And she only sucks harder.

But it's the rise of heat pooling in her stomach as his fingers tease and pierce her that breaks her, pleas echoing off the walls as the first burst of ecstasy overtakes her. Natsu's thrusts seem longer and deeper and his release for a moment distracts her from the tears she sees pricking his eyes.

This pleasurable diversion can only do so much.

-X-

"Gajeel and Levy are probably wondering where the heck we went." Lucy realizes aloud.

The scent of sweat and sex lingers still lingers on them and for once, she wants to fight the sleep creeping up on her.

Natsu opened one eye, fixing her with an amused smirk. "Oh, _**I**_ think they have some inkling as to what we've been up to or better yet, they probably went off on their own for some alone time too!"

He's not sure he deserved that sharp kick Lucy sends to his knees soon after saying that.

"Are you hungry?" He ventures, moving his gaze towards outside. It's not evening yet as far as he can tell, mid-afternoon sunlight glistens against the trees and grass before he turns his gaze back to her.

Lucy nods, moving off of him in slow fashion.

She flushes at his knowing stare, eyes narrowed as he observed her reach for clothes tossed all around them.

"D-Don't just sit there, put your stuff back on too!" She hisses when Natsu continues to sit motionless.

A quick peek over her shoulders and she catches his wicked smirk, drawing the blankets back just enough for her to see _**all**_ of him.

Natsu merely hummed in response, grin widening. "Hmm, can't I enjoy the view for just a bit longer? You're getting an eyeful of _**me**_ after all."

The next thing he sees is black as Lucy tosses his vest directly into his face.

Gajeel and Levy are lounging by the pool once their properly dressed, Levy is the first to notice them, peering up from her book and beaming as she sat up from her recliner.

"Ha, I told you it would be over an hour before we saw them again Gajeel!" Levy snickered, flashing a victorious grin his way as he scowled.

"Huh, guess I was wrong; Salamander's hunger for the bedroom was stronger than his usual one for food." He grumbled.

Before Lucy could retort, a wave of water splashed over the duo. Turning, she watched as Natsu rose up from the pool's edge and sent her a thumbs up.

"See Lucy, told ya I could catch them off guard by slipping away!" Natsu mused.

Levy squeezed the water out of her hair huffing, sputtering away the taste of chlorine on her tongue. "Okay, guess we maybe deserved that."

Gajeel scoffed, moving to help her dry herself before sending Natsu a scowl. "You got one lucky hit on us."

Natsu sneered, rising to his bait. "Oh, it wasn't luck. You're just not very aware of your surroundings; don't throw a hissy fit now just because you got a little pool water up your nose and ears!"

"Hissy fit?!" Gajeel snapped.

Lucy and Levy both sighed.

It was starting.

"I'll race you to end of the pool, loser has to do any dares the other gives him for a whole day!" Natsu bellowed, leaping in beside him.

"You're on, get ready to have the most humiliating day of your life!" He hollered back.

And then they were off.

Levy sat back on her recliner, frowning at the ink now running off the pages of her book. "Well, at least there both as energized as ever, right?"

Lucy smiled apologetically at her now waterlogged book, plopping next to her. The shade was truly a perfect escape from the sun's heat while still being able to drift into the coolness of the pool's water.

"Yeah, I'm a bit surprised to be honest." She murmured without realizing.

' _Those were tears in his eyes, I'm sure…'_

Should she be worried?

She had pushed and pushed him for him tell her the truth after all, she couldn't start regretting her choice now.

"What's wrong Lucy? Natsu's stick his foot in his mouth again?" Levy guessed.

Lucy laughed faintly, if only it were something so simple. "No, but…he told me the truth about the nickname."

As she expects, Levy's eyes widen a fraction as she scoots closer. "And? Don't leave me in suspense!"

Her stomach does an unexpected flip in nervousness to respond, instead she focuses towards Natsu from the distance, a surge of blue and white surrounding him as he seemed to tear through the water. Gajeel shouts at him for cheating as they reach the opposite end, but he pays it no mind, grinning and laughing like nothing is wrong.

Their Fairy Tail tattoos are inevitably getting them stares and mean mugs from the other pool goers they've splashed or interrupted and Lucy feels her gut twist further at gazing at Natsu's scarlet mark.

Why does it look like it's maybe covering another _**older**_ tattoo?

' _How did I miss something like that? How many other signs have I not picked up on yet?'_

"Lucy, stop ogling him and tell me!" Levy beckons again to interrupt her rapid thoughts, shaking her shoulders slightly and she snaps out of her daze, reddening at being caught so blatantly.

"I-I can't." She whispers, and it's now that she realizes her stomach isn't getting tight out of anxiety to tell Levy.

It's fear.

"H-He had a good reason to keep it from me. It was a dangerous, reckless lifestyle he wanted out of-"Lucy paused, twisting her lip uncertainly.

Levy brushes away at strands of wet hair falling into her face, stare intense and focused. Her face contorts into an unreadable expression she isn't sure what to make of.

And she sucked in a breath, knowing already what she wants to ask.

"Lucy, are _**you**_ in danger now too?"

-X-

"Natsu hasn't responded back yet, has he?" Igneel asks.

It comes out more like a fact than a question.

Zeref nods, peering down at the still blackness of his phone resting on the edge of the table. It's typical Natsu behavior to not respond to him and he restrains back the scowl that threatens to break his calm façade.

Igneel easily notices it the subtle change.

"Just give up on it already. Natsu isn't going to budge anytime soon, if he doesn't want to be a part of this all, it's his decision. After all, at least he isn't sitting around the house doing nothing; he's gone off to college to further his education." He explained.

There's a flicker in Zeref's expression then, a cold smile cracks through.

"…We both know he _**needs**_ me Igneel. I'm sure he's noticed the changes in his body by now, the things he can't properly control when his emotions get the better of him; he can't run forever from the things he's done." Zeref emphasized.

Igneel lets out a long sigh, the tension is growing much too thick in the room now as he balled his hands in a makeshift attempt to not hit the man before him. They are in public after all, a restaurant in the middle of a busy interchange between breakfast and lunch isn't the best place to start a fight.

"Okay then, let's say you do 'help' him then. How can Natsu believe you won't try to trick or mislead him like you have with so many of your other 'patients'?" He asked.

Zeref merely shrugged, maintaining his cool indifference.

"He can't; I suppose."

And just as Igneel wants to speak again, Zeref's phone lights up with a buzz. It doesn't come from his personal phone though, no this is a work call.

Another clientele.

"Hmm, that's right I have a few people I'm scheduled to meet with this afternoon." Zeref considered, checking his watch and reaching for his coat. He's leaving half-finished breakfast behind, though he can just pick up something from the hospital's cafeteria.

He can feel Igneel's hardened stare on him as he gets up to gather his belongings, but he ignores it like he's done time and time again.

"Good afternoon Dr. Dragneel; I believe you have 5 patients scheduled to meet with you this afternoon." A receptionist chirps out as he heads up to his office.

A quick glance at the sign in sheet and he sees that he doesn't recognize the first name on the list.

' _Oh, a new one? Must've been recommended by a friend or family member.'_

One of the nurses passes over the client's file to him and he reads the brief overview of her before going in to greet her. A woman in her mid-30s suffering from chronic back and leg pain since an on the job factory related injury. No other prior medical history stood out to him except a minor surgery a few years back to remove a gallstone.

She didn't fit the bill to necessarily be considered a drug seeker or pill popper.

But, things like _**that**_ could easily be changed.

She's shy and unsure when their finally face to face in the tiny 4x4 walls of the room. Her gaze every few seconds flickers to the paintings on the wall depicting gardens and the sea.

"Are you alright Ms. Mills, you appear to be a bit on edge?" Zeref begins lightly.

Her fidgeting halts for a moment then, finally facing him as he gets a clear look at her amber eyes. "I don't mean to sound rude, it's just you seem to be a bit younger than what my friend had mentioned. Though, I've gotten desperate to try and reach out to anyone to help me with this pain and going by her and some of your reviews, you're one of the best in all of Fiore."

Zeref laughed modestly, the physical head to toe assessment showed no signs of any heart or breathing issues.

It was just her pain.

Her skin is pale too he notes, free of any blemishes or scars, but he can already picture the red streaks and scratches that would soon ravage her all over when her addiction began to burn her inside.

Beauty doesn't last long with corruption.

"Alright, since I didn't find any major issues going on with your body, I'll start you off with one of my regular low dose pain prescriptions and see how your body handles it. If that doesn't help or you feel you need a re-fill, please don't hesitate to schedule another appointment." Zeref explained, hanging his stethoscope over his shoulders again as he reached into his pocket to write out the form.

She's bright and thankful as she accepts the form and a few teaching handouts on symptoms and side effects to watch for while he makes routine small talk with her.

' _Just another number, she'll go out and tell her friends and the cycle will start all over again...'_

That light and spark in her eyes will soon be gone and pain will soon be the last thing on her mind. A crooked grin formed on his face imagining what she'll look like when she returns for a checkup.

Because after all, he expects she'll probably be back before the week is even over.

-X-

Its nights like this, nights like tonight she wishes she hadn't been persuaded to leave her sleep medicine at home.

Because Natsu's presence is doing nothing to get her to rest.

He's warm, arms wrapped around her like a blanket and she shifts again once more to try and find a comfortable spot in his chest.

Praying all the while he doesn't wake up to wonder why she's so restless.

' _It must be past 3 in the morning now.'_ Lucy whines to herself internally, restraining back the urge to scream.

She can't admit aloud to herself yet that she knows the cause of her insomnia this time.

All her thoughts keep achingly turning, winding back to Zeref's message.

And Natsu's lack thereof responding.

He had eventually with her nagging sent a simple message back saying perhaps in the summer time before tossing his phone away. When she had questioned him if that was an answer his brother would like, he sighed and said no.

' _But nothing I would say would be good enough, don't worry about it Luce.'_

And yet, here she was doing the exact opposite of what he said.

It's cloudy tonight, she couldn't even do her constellation counting like she usually did to escape the hindrance of being unable to sleep.

Another quick turn in the sheets again, maybe this _**time**_ she'll reach that sweet comfort spot…

"You know it's hard to sleep when you keep tossing like that." Natsu slurs by her ear and she nearly rolls out of bed in shock.

"Don't scare me like that!" Lucy hissed, jabbing him purposefully with her elbow. Natsu winces, but his hold remains on her.

He laughs, voice low and deep with the haze of sleep. For a moment, Lucy thinks he's about to tease or trick her in some way until he steers his head back against her neck.

"Since you're awake, I've been wanting to ask; when did you find out?" He asks into her skin.

The action makes skin tingle as she shifted him a side glance. "Huh?"

"How did you know I had looked at your investigating?" He clarifies.

A curve of a smile comes up on her lips then, oh, so that's what he meant. Though he probably won't like the answer she gives…

"Your scent gave you away." Lucy murmurs, closing her eyes briefly to think back to the morning. The smell of earth and spices blended together…

"Gray warned me too that you would spy." She adds in and she feel his grip on her fleetingly tighten.

' _I'll kill that human popsicle when we get home.'_

But before he can finish thinking up new methods of blackmail or revenge, Lucy leaves his hold to stand up and yawn.

Natsu arched a brow, sitting up as well. "Where ya going at this hour?"

Her vision is still fuzzy from the darkness, but she can make out Natsu's spiky hair and frame even without the lights.

"To the balcony, I can't sleep; remember? A certain _**somebody**_ told me to leave my medications behind." Lucy asserts.

She can hear his footsteps follow after her.

"I have my reasons for not wanting you bring those pills…' He grumbled.

' _After all, I've seen firsthand what taking too much or getting dependent can do to a person.'_

Though Lucy waves him off, leaning her head against the railing as a cooling breeze whips up her hair. This should make her sleepy, the sea air permeating around them mixed with the crashing of the waves onto land worked for most people.

Insomnia didn't seem to affect most people though.

Natsu studied her in the passing minutes, brown eyes opening and closing in rhythmic pattern with the waves. Secretly, he had read about and asked fellow guild members about advice on how to help Lucy with her insomnia (much to his embarrassment he knew little on his own).

" _Often times, people usually listen to classical music or something soft playing in the background to help them sleep at night like the ocean, forest, or nature in general." Mira suggested._

" _Nah, that's not Lucy's style! Listen Natsu, if Lucy has any trouble sleeping on your trip than a few drinks will usually take care of that! Alcohol knocks out most people after a good couple of rounds; Lucy should be no different!" Cana chuckled, swinging her mug of beer for emphasis._

 _Hmm, the last time Lucy had been drunk around him she had been a bit too_ _ **playful**_ _…_

 _Others chimed in with ideas for herbal remedies, clothes, and any other random age old things he had never heard of._

" _Heh, what Lucy probably needs is noise cancelling headphones if she'll have to deal with the possibility of your snoring!" Gray mused._

 _Natsu sent him a glare, cracking his knuckles. "Excuse me frosty, what was that?!"_

 _Gray sneered, gearing up as well. "What, too much time around fire messed with your hearing?"_

 _Erza coughed loudly before either made a move._

" _Natsu. Gray. I'm sure you two_ _ **aren't**_ _going to cause a scene by fighting and destroying the guild after we worked so hard already to fix the damages done after the anniversary party,_ _ **right?"**_ _She hummed, though her malice was barely restrained at being interrupted from a meal, spoon bending from the pressure she put on it._

 _Both men gulped._

" _Of course not, Erza! I'm sure Natsu here will think of something if needs be. Lucy in fact will most likely get tired out from all the activities they do over the day!" Gray pointed out, slapping Natsu's back in 'friendly' jest._

 _Natsu rolled his eyes, but kept up the show for both their sakes._

In hindsight, only Mira had given him an actually decent suggestion. However, they were by the ocean now and it didn't seem to be making Lucy any sleepier.

"Lucy." He called out to her.

Her gaze shifted to him as she leaned off the railing slightly.

Natsu scratched his cheek, wondering how he should begin. "Listen, so I was reading in my spare time that-"

Lucy cut him off with a giggle, drowsy smile widening. "You _**read**_ in your free time? You hardly even pick up the books you actually need to read for class!"

Natsu admonished her with a flat look until all her snickering was gone.

"Okay, okay sorry; continue."

"Right, so as I was saying before you so rudely insulted me; I read some articles and remembered that insomnia can be triggered due to stress or anxiety…" He trailed off.

Lucy stood up more fixedly now, frowning. It wasn't like she could walk away from him, not when he blocked her only means of escaping this conversation.

No, no the uneasiness is returning.

And Natsu gently tugs her back into him, already knowing what's crossing her mind.

"So Luce, I'm asking you now; are you worried about something?" He inquires, straight to the point.

"No!" She answers, much too fast and she curses herself.

Natsu sees right through her and is practically beamingdevilishly. In seconds, the tables have turned on her as he keeps his hold and pins in her place against the wall.

"Luce, do you want to make this _**difficult**_?" His tone is caught somewhere between seriousness and rising lust, fingers tracing lips that are fighting back a moan.

"...Yes…No, I would if I weren't feeling half-asleep." She countered, there's the same spark in his eyes from past arousals, but she can't find the words to ask him about it.

And because of that, they both know nothing will happen.

"Well, we have all night Lucy. Start talking." Natsu begins.

"Or else?" She answers mockingly in a callback to his own behavior.

She yelped at the sharp pinch he gave to the curve of her hip before quickly covering her mouth.

"I'll keep going to other _**areas**_ too and you know how _**loud**_ I can get you. Wouldn't want to wake up the neighbors or the entire floor now, would you?" He chuckled teasingly.

Damn it all.

"Fine, it's your brother." Lucy resigned.

Natsu's smile immediately faded, concern lighting his face. "Huh? Are you worried because of what he does with his job or something?"

Lucy nodded her head, forcing herself to properly look at him. "Aren't you? I don't want him to endanger any of our friends, or family…or you and me."

Her mind reels back to her father's warning, a painful realization that he was right.

Natsu hugs her back into his chest before her thoughts go into overdrive, rubbing her back soothingly.

"See, Luce this is why I didn't want to tell you and now you're losing sleep over this. I promise you I won't allow Zeref to interfere in my life, yours or anybody else's if I can help it. If he even _**thinks**_ of trying to mess with any of us; I'll kick his ass straight back across the world, or better yet into a jail cell!"

And for the first time that night, Lucy feels the tenseness in her body relax. Natsu carries her back to bed and she drifts off truly this time.

But meanwhile Natsu weighed over his words as he watched Lucy start to rest, parting her hair away carefully from her face.

' _Just how long can I keep that promise to her?'_

-X-

"Summer is too far away." Zeref mutters under his breath.

He's seen all his patients for the day now, the only things left to do now is update his progress notes on them and close up for the day.

But his mind is drifting from work at his brother's answer, he peered outside again for probably the fourth time in that hour, watching as the sun drifted past thinning clouds as the sky took on a purplish hue.

He really was adamant about not seeing him.

' _I wonder what else must occupy his time at that college, he can't be that invested in his schoolwork and grades knowing how he was back in high school.'_ He considered.

He pulled up Magnolia's University's homepage in a separate browser and typed in Natsu Dragneel. Natsu was indeed popular on campus, most of the links leading to his known status as a member and part of Fairy Tail's recent guild activities or antics. He focused his gaze on the pictures he stood out the most in, staring at the friends closest to him…

' _He even brought Happy with him to college.'_ Zeref noted, scrolling through photos of him holding up the blue cat close for 'Pet Day on Campus.'

His attention soon found it's a way to a link done covering him for the school newspaper.

"Natsu Dragneel puts a spin on the typical magic shows and dance numbers by playing with fire for the annual talent show." By Lucy Heartfilia." He read aloud.

' _That last name, where have I heard it before?'_

Another quick tab pulls up them up, ah that's right the Heartfilia family. Jude ran an establishment of large oil and gas firms all over the region while his wife Layla had been more into the sciences, literature, and astrology communities…

And then there was their only child Lucy.

Zeref moved over to images, she truly was the spitting image of her mother with same eyes and hair and he wondered why he had never seen her before until now.

Because going back through Natsu's photos again amongst the school website showed her near him in quite a few of them.

The two were close; as friends or even lovers.

He could use this.

Zeref leaned his head against his palm, a smirk quirking his lips as he closed out the pages and went back to his main work.

"Lucy, huh?"

-x-

I think I kept you guys guessing long enough on what exactly it was Natsu was hiding, not to say there isn't more secrets that have yet to be revealed! As usual, thanks/ shout-outs to quite-a-riot, StellaHeartfilia, idevourbooks, maxridelover, and fafou14 for their responses last chapter and all my readers for stopping by! Hit me up with your thoughts! ;)


	12. Fateful Journey

**Chapter 12: Fateful Journey**

"So, you haven't told her yet then; have you?" Zeref repeated.

Natsu growled, phone crackling under his tight grip. "Stop calling me, I'll burn away all of your research if you keep this up."

This was the second time now he was calling while he was still on vacation, biding his time until he seems he's sure no one will listen in on them.

Tonight is no different.

Zeref chuckled lightly, paying no mind to his threats. "Come on, you can't lie to me Natsu, the signs are showing up again, right? Your eyes must be glowing now even as we speak, you need a new shot before this old one wears off..."

And in the blackness of the room as he looked up at his reflection, his dark eyes indeed flashed with a golden hue.

"No, I refuse; I don't need it. Igneel was right when he said you would make anyone your guinea pig for experimenting, no matter the costs..." Natsu hissed, shutting his eyes to pretend he never saw the change.

Zeref clicked his tongue and he knew then his teasing was over.

"That's all in the past now, I did what I had to do keep you alive; with us. Now, either you'll have to come back home sooner than the summertime like you first said or Lucy will eventually find out the serum's effects are wearing off if she hasn't already. You should never forget what you _**truly**_ are Natsu without the serum; a beast."

"Is that what you thought of Mavis as well?" Natsu questioned bitterly.

The tension snaps and the harsh click of the phone call ending resounds in his ears.

He laughed soundlessly as he dropped his phone back into his pocket, twisting the knife on old memories, old wounds out of spite shouldn't have brought him so much enjoyment, however…

It still wouldn't be long before he heard from his brother again.

A steady breath and sigh escaped him; another headache was coming on.

He maneuvered back to his bedroom as quickly and silently as possible, today is the final night of their vacation and he _**will**_ try to make the best of it. Because by tomorrow at this time, he'll be back at his apartment and Lucy will be at her dorm.

' _Damnit, calm down!'_ Natsu berated himself.

Though his body restlessly ignores him, hands trembling as he tossed the blankets over him. He can feel the beginnings of a cold sweat glistening over his skin.

He moved his hands to wrap around Lucy's torso once more, easing himself into her familiar scent. Her warmth.

But he stiffens as soon as he turns a bit more in her direction and meets her gaze.

She's awake.

"You okay?" She murmurs out evenly.

Her fingers reach to brush against his arm, drawing back in surprise at their dampness.

' _It's colder than usual tonight and he's sweaty?'_ Lucy immediately thought in alarm.

Natsu watched as she sat up quickly, clicking on the lamp light as an orange glow bathed the room. He wondered briefly how he must've looked to her then, her auburn eyes widening in concern.

"What's wrong? Do you feel sick or have a fever?" Lucy asked in rapid succession.

Natsu shrugged, wincing when Lucy pinched his cheek at his non-reply.

Her expression soon changed though as fingers on his cheek rose up to trace the rims of his eyes.

"You're eyes are changing colors again. Why?" She whispered lowly.

A lump wedged into his chest.

"You're seeing things; it's late." Natsu grunts, attempting to turn over but Lucy keeps him fixed in place.

"No…I've seen them change like this before, though I never said anything." She refutes his claim.

So she had already noticed? It felt as if the knot had grown twice as large now.

"Why does it keep happening?" Lucy went on. Her tone is starting to hold more curiosity now than worry, but her hold on him remains the same.

"…It's complicated." Natsu begins.

Lucy snorts, arching a brow. "Try me."

"Zeref…has also experimented on me."

"I used to get frequently sick when I was younger, he gave me medicine that I assume worked and I felt better soon afterwards. I gained strength and speed I never even realized I was capable of…though it came with side effects." Natsu explained.

"At first Igneel and I thought it was just an odd case of puberty, I would get hair and scale like patches on my skin that itched, I got more violent at the even the smallest things like any other teenager I figured. I didn't want to take the injections again like Zeref kept wanting to keep the drug effects in my system, but he said I would never be able to control myself on my own now that so much of it is already in me…"

Natsu looked up at her then and her breath caught.

"But I did when I met you."

He brushed a hand through his pink locks, scowling at the sweat that came with the action.

"Lucy, you keep me sane. The cravings for rage and fights aren't as strong when I'm with you and when we're lovemaking."

"But, the changes are still occurring; once the medicine fully wears off…" Lucy trailed off, biting her lip.

Natsu nodded, finishing for her. "Then maybe the transformation truly begins."

-X-

Lucy decides by 4:32 am that there just going to stay up the rest of the night.

Her stomach restlessly churns again as she quells the urge to vomit.

A quick move to the stove to fire up another cup of tea should hopefully stop that feeling this time.

She didn't even realize she'd been crying until Natsu thumbs the tears away. He's left her side temporarily to go take a shower to 'cool down' in the sense even though he felt far from hot when they had touched earlier.

' _Is there any way to slow down this process? I know you don't want to try out placebos or any more drugs, though…'_ She remembers asking.

Natsu just shakes his head, pursing his lips before a tight frown forms.

"As far as I know, only Zeref knows the components to keep it completely under control."

Still, she wondered what it was _**exactly**_ that she did that helped Natsu to relax as he said. Nothing comes to mind that she's done out of ordinary around him and her cheeks burn at the thought that maybe it has to do with when they're intimate.

Distractedly, Natsu returns from his shower before she can dwell on it for much longer, towel lounged around his neck and her gaze drifts downward…

"You're not even going to try to get some rest; not that it matters to me really if you want to keep ogling?" Natsu muses, toothy grin lighting his face as Lucy huffs he's a moron.

"What is it about me anyways? What am I doing that slows down the process?" Lucy grumbled, turning away from his amused smirk.

She didn't expect an answer from him really, though when she looks his way again he's gotten close.

So very, very annoyingly close.

Her breathing hitches as Natsu parts at a strand of her blonde hair, revealing her neck. A serious look crosses over him then, licking his lips in anticipation.

A shiver rushes over her.

"Natsu, don't." Lucy implores, shoving him back gently.

The hungry gaze in his expression breaks at her pushing, fingers pressing a spot on her neck that nearly makes her yelp.

"Ow, what the hell?!" Lucy curses, almost wanting to bite his hand at the sudden stinging pain.

Natsu pauses in alarm, wrinkling his nose as Lucy held and rolled her neck in exaggeration. "I barely touched you Luce."

Lucy continued to let out low hisses, heading to the bathroom to indeed check. He knew the love-bite he gave her there days ago still hadn't properly healed yet and she-

' _Wait, what happened to the hickey?'_ She asked herself.

Because in her reflection gone is the bluish-purple hue she's been trying to cover up with heaps of foundation and turtlenecks for the past couple of days.

In its place is something much more unusual.

A scar.

"That…that was never there before." Lucy whispers, faintly touching the mark. It's hot and she flinches again at the ache that shoots through her.

Was this a weird type of bug bite or some infection?

She hides it through the strands of her hair again as Natsu approaches, ignoring the sinking feeling coiling in her chest.

"You okay?" Natsu questions at her paleness.

"Yeah, just felt dizzy for a moment." Lucy replied slowly, his gaze flickers back to her neck for a moment before shrugging with a nod.

But as he leaves her side again she indeed sees the scar is still there, throbbing.

-X-

In the morning light, Lucy's eyes normally shine a pretty shade of brown and orange blended together as the rims of her eyes crack open through the haze of sleep.

Natsu opens his mouth, only to close it as he finds himself unable to form words while watching her rest.

He has a major problem on his hands.

' _That wasn't an ordinary mark on her neck, it's…it's my fault she's hurting right now. Could it be that I maybe…?'_ Natsu scowled.

He needed to call Igneel.

" _Natsu, are you even paying attention?!" Igneel snaps, slamming his hand down on the table causing him to jump._

" _Huh, oh yeah Dad I heard you." Natsu yawns, leaning back from him. A quick glance at the clock shows it almost 11:00 pm._

 _Great, all of the best graduation parties have already started._

 _Igneel groans, knowing his mind his wandering as his gaze flickers everywhere but at him._

" _This is serious Natsu, now that you've graduated from high school, you'll be going off to college in the fall. There'll be much more women around to tempt you." He begins again._

 _A wild smirk crosses Natsu's face. "Oh, ya don't say?"_

 _Contrary to what Igneel and Zeref think, the opposite sex isn't_ _ **that**_ _much of a mystery to him._

 _But his joking ends at his hardened stare._

" _You're going to come across all kinds of people there and lately I've gotten the feeling that you'll meet the one who will eventually hold your heart." Igneel continued._

 _Natsu shrugs. "And that's a bad thing?"_

 _Igneel pauses, eyes shifting discreetly towards upstairs. Natsu followed where his gaze went and sat up properly in alarm._

 _Zeref's room._

" _He's been unhappy ever since you announced you were leaving and not planning to go down same path as the rest of the family. I've been watching over you two since your parent's deaths years ago falling too deep into their life of crimes, and yet I still failed to properly change his mind." Igneel laments._

 _Natsu taps a finger against the table, studying him closely. "Does this have anything to do with that medicine he injected me with all those years ago to help me get better when I was ill? The one that he continues to keep tweaking and experimenting with?"_

 _Igneel nods and his heart pounds a bit more._

" _I'm worried about the side effects of it now, perhaps it's just there dormant in you or maybe it's already been passed out of your system. I've researched so many books and information online, however I just don't know if what_ _ **it**_ _was he gave you can be passed on to someone else." He finishes._

 _Natsu gazed down at his hands, rough and callused from so many skirmishes over the years. He only felt a change in him when his emotions got the better of him, but now the idea of someone becoming sick due to getting too close to him…_

 _He forced a bright grin despite this nagging worry stirring up in him._

 _ **How**_ _would he know if he had given the drug to someone? Would his lover start showing the same behavior or symptoms he once had?_

" _Hey, don't worry about me Pops! You should be more concerned about Zeref and what he plans to do now that he's opening that new clinic of his." Natsu regarded._

 _Igneel nodded, sensing the need to change the topic as well._

 _After all, neither has an answer that will settle their looming concerns._

"I'm not mad for the secrets you've kept Natsu." Lucy points out, voice so light and airy it seems far away.

Natsu blinked, shaking his head to clear his thoughts.

Damn it, why hadn't he listened to him more back then?

"We should do more research into these signs and symptoms you have or used to have. Maybe even your Dad can persuade your brother to-"

"No!" Natsu interrupts.

"I mean, my brother is a last resort. We can ask Igneel sure, he probably has a better idea more than any book or anyone else can tell us for all the questions we have."

Lucy looks like she wants to push the topic, face a mix of upset and annoyance though she quiets as Natsu moves to squeeze her hand.

She's doesn't bring the subject up again for the rest of the way home, lulled to catch up on much needed sleep as the train takes them back to Magnolia. The sky grows darker the closer they get, brief downpours scattering across the fields. Natsu turns over in his sleep again from her lap, head a muddled mess of bad dreams she's sure.

' _That's a nasty hickey Natsu gave you, you'll need twice as much cover up to hide that!" Levy teases._

 _Gajeel snickers in agreement from beside her, though his laugh seems more wary at Natsu's lack of rising to the bait._

" _Got a bit too rough with her huh Salamander?"_

 _Natsu sent him one look, before popping an anti-nausea pill in and boarding the train ahead of them._

" _Shut it, we've all seen the bruises over Levy's body that couldn't have been done from 'tripping'."_

 _And to her surprise, Gajeel doesn't counter him. Perhaps he knows he really doesn't want to be bothered right now._

It's not like they can keep running from his brother much longer.

-X-

' _Interesting.'_

Zeref smiles, reading over the same patient file of Ms. Mills. Only 3 days have passed and she's back in his office. Her pain is gone like he suspected. Instead now, her face has become a sickly white, marred with fresh red streaks from scratching herself.

He watched from the corner of his eye through the crack in his door as she licked her lips eagerly, rocking in her seat impatiently to be called next.

Addiction has truly latched on to her.

' _It worked quicker than I expected.'_ He notes, examining his paperwork. He would have to change the strength and dosage on her prescription to make sure she kept chasing for that high…

A buzz from his personal phone draws him away from the computer and his smile breaks for a moment as he reads the caller ID.

It's Igneel.

He's straight to the point as he answers, voice heavy with restrained anger.

"I have a strong reason to believe Natsu has spread that drug in his system to Lucy." He growls.

Zeref paused, thoughts swimming back to the image of the pair he found online.

For a brief moment, he isn't sure how to take the news.

The medicine had been meant for only Natsu based on his body system, he hadn't considered for the possibility of him spreading it to someone else via sexual or physical contact…

It could be toxic.

"That will change how I planned the rest of my studies." He eventually murmurs.

Igneel hisses out a low curse, fed up. "Is that really your first thought when someone gets sick with your drugs?! This is your brother we're talking about and all you can think about is another test, another opportunity for research. What would Mavis think if she saw that you-"

"Mavis is dead." Zeref cut him off flatly.

Igneel sighs, gritting his teeth now. "I know Natsu won't say it, but he's been worried about the day he could unknowingly hurt the one he loves. Shouldn't _**you**_ have been too?"

The line goes dead before he can respond.

' _He didn't even let me answer.'_ Zeref considered, dropping the phone back into his pocket.

But his focus is gone now.

His head twinges as Mavis's smile forms from memory, the nights he spent trailing fingers through her endlessly long sandy hair, emerald eyes that sparkled when they spoke of each other's dreams…

She'd hurt him when she left.

Unable to handle the pressure, the experimental trials, and the effects of the pain he caused…

"You can't leave me Mavis, we're both in this now. If you leave, I'll-"He shook his head, the image of her blurring.

Empty threats fall away into the silence of the room.

Zeref scowled, clenching his chest at the brief lapse of weakness. These foolish emotions…

' _So, Lucy has gotten involved with Natsu. That just means I need to up my studying on her and her family. Surely there was something I missed during my first search through her background.'_ He decided.

He needed a good distraction anyways, anything to rid himself of this ugly misery like he was one of his fragile patients.

She was in the territory of Dragons now, whether she knew it or not.

' _Her dad's name was Jude, right? I'm sure I've heard that name somewhere before besides just among other oil and gas tycoons.'_ He mused, typing away.

It finally clicks once he reaches a particular article; that oh so long buried file is now coming to light in his memories.

This is the perfect pick me up in his opinion for his now sour mood.

" _That's right; I remember him now."_

-X-

Lucy thumbs the scar again for probably the hundredth time that night.

' _Yes, it's still there.'_ She reminds herself yet again.

Juvia had commented the scar looked more like a mild discoloration in an attempt to make her feel better during class, but she still wasn't so sure.

Normal bruises don't hurt _**this**_ much.

" _Juvia knows you and Natsu like to play rough, perhaps you should start mentioning to him to tone it down a bit." Juvia suggested in a light whisper._

 _Lucy resisted the urge to loudly refute such claims. Juvia did have an overactive imagination after all from reading her past fiction prompts for class…_

 _Speaking of prompts…_

' _Focus on writing. Focus on writing.' She told herself, glancing back up at the clock._

 _All they had to do was finish reading a short passage on common scientific, political, and lifestyle theories of famous 18_ _th_ _and 19_ _th_ _century authors and compare them to today's modern society and their own personal thoughts._

 _She was basically done at least, however Juvia was keeping her from finishing those last precious ending lines she needed._

" _Gray told me that Natsu had been keeping embarrassing things from you. Juvia has a nagging suspicion of what it might be." Juvia went on dramatically._

 _Lucy looked her way briefly as their professor was busy talking with another student who needed help._

" _And…?" She asked urgently._

 _A wry grin lit up her face._

" _Sadism."_

 _Lucy nearly broke her pencil in two; puffing up her cheeks at her light giggling._

 _Of course of all things,_ _ **that**_ _was her assumption; this sinking feeling in the pit of her chest since Spring Break had ended wasn't go away. Maybe it was truly time to ask Natsu…_

" _Has Gray ever told you that you jump to the worst conclusions?" Lucy grumbled as they left class._

 _Juvia tapped her cheek thoughtfully before shaking her head._

" _Gray doesn't think Juvia's ideas are strange! Usually…"_

Natsu for his part though hadn't even paid the scar as much attention as she was doing, his first true look at the mark had him under the guess that he probably had just sunk into her skin too hard or she had burned her neck with her curling iron and she bites her tongue at telling him otherwise.

Or perhaps he didn't want her to worry about it too much.

Despite her body's objections.

It feels like she has the flu all over again, curling herself into a tighter ball in an attempt to make the pain disappear.

And all day into the night now, none of her usual pain relief methods has eased the ache.

From the corner of her eye, she sees her phone light up again in a blaring ringing that echoes throughout the room.

Oh, that's right; she was supposed to be at Fairy Tail's monthly guild meeting over an hour ago.

Natsu's three texts and one missed call dryly remind her of said fact.

But this time, the call _**isn't**_ from him like she expects; the number shining across her screen is one she's never seen. Cautiously, she lets it ring until her phone automatically sends the call to voicemail. Only a few seconds pass by before her phone buzzes again to show they've left a message.

"…Is this the number of Lucy Heartfilia by any chance?" A smooth voice rings out as she plays it back.

A man's voice.

Lucy sat up a bit more urgently now, there's a sharp edge to this man's tone that makes her shaky as goosebumps emerge on her skin.

There's a pause before he resumes speaking. "My name is Zeref Dragneel. I've recently come upon information regarding your father Jude; would you like to hear it?"

' _What?'_

She listens again to make sure she heard him right, his voice is indeed clear as day. The room starts to spin at the rise of revulsion pressing against her gut, fisting her bedspread in a vice like grip to maintain some control.

' _Get a hold of yourself Lucy!'_

The rest of what he says has to be a lie.

This man he describes from his memos can't possibly be her father, a past filled with hauntingly grisly accusations and encounters he's somehow managed to keep from the public's eye for years.

Including her and her mother.

Tears well in her eyes that she immediately blinks away.

It's getting tiring crying over stupid father; her stupid deceitful father…

And now…she's just waiting for the inevitable to happen. Time ticks by slowly as Zeref's message replays hollowly in the back of her mind.

A knock comes to the window and before she can even completely turn, a flurry of pink invades her vision. Natsu smells of grass and sweat, in tune with nature as usual.

"Hey." He greets her; much too casually in her opinion.

One arm weighs down on the bed to pin her place, keeping him from falling onto her and she stills as a sharp grin unfurls on his face.

"You missed the guild meeting, what's your excuse? I had so much I wanted to tell you too; I got that A on my history exam that you weren't sure I would even get from all your tutoring!" He demands, voice a mix of seriousness and pouting.

Lucy smiled sheepishly in spite of her mood, scooting back until she feels her head hit the frame of the bed. "Umm, I wasn't feeling well? Studying?"

Natsu arched a brow, leaning infuriatingly in until their lips barely brush. "Oh, really now? _**You**_ passed up an opportunity to not point out that I finally got an A in a 'not a blow off class' as you like to call it?"

"Yes!" She states in reply.

And instead of taking her word of it, he plops down to lie beside her. Ebony eyes shift around the room as he sniffs the air around him. Part of her wants to ask what on earth he's doing, until he abruptly speaks up again.

"So then, what were you thinking about before I came in here? Had to be _**something**_ important." He mused.

Her cheeks starts to heat a tell-tale pink. What exactly is he assuming or implying?

' _Maybe he thinks you're lying and that you were out with some guy.'_ Her thoughts wander.

The very idea makes her roll her eyes and unfortunately, Natsu notices.

"I have ways to make you talk you know." He mentions slyly.

She craned herself away from him, despite the pain it caused in doing said action. Jealousy and confusion spark in his eyes and teasing him is a small temporary distraction off her current discomfort.

" _ **Oh, really now?"**_ Lucy answers mockingly.

A flash of his wicked grin nearly makes her backtrack.

"Was it Loke? Has he been messing with you again?" He questions.

"Try again." Lucy scrunches her face. Loke hasn't done anything since she broadcasted his discretions to the university under the semi-anonymity of the school newspaper, but hearing this new information now…

Maybe she shouldn't completely believe he hadn't come to play _**some**_ part in all of this.

Natsu hummed, rolling off a list of practically all the men she knew in Magnolia, even men she had maybe talked to only once or twice.

"You're terrible at this you know, not even going for the obvious." Lucy chided him softly, poking his arm.

Natsu affectionately returned the gesture, but then his hands palm the edges of her face and he breathes in slowly once more.

"Luce, you smell like you've been crying recently."

Amber eyes soften then. "That's because I was."

Anticipation flares up in his expression, gaze sharpening to give her his full attention. Lucy again felt her stomach twist, nervous knots ready to burst.

"I-I have a question before I go on, did you…did you ever recognize my father's face or name before you got introduced to him weeks ago?" Lucy questioned.

Natsu gained a frown, shaking his head after thinking it over. "No, not that I can think of, but then again there were so many faces of people we came across over the years back at home; why?"

A jittery sigh escapes her, hesitation takes her voice as it crackles. Part of her wishes she hadn't even brought this topic up at all…

"Your brother found my number somehow." She whispers eventually.

"What?!" Natsu growls, pushing up off the bed.

There's a gleam of crimson far more menacing than anything she's ever seen prior growing to life in his eyes as he cracks his knuckles in testing and Lucy hurriedly grabs onto him before he starts to move.

"You can't run off without thinking!" She asserts.

And she forces him to look at her when he merely sneers in response. His whole demeanor is rapidly changing in such a short span of time, the scar on her neck pulses as his rage begins to take over…

"Natsu, please." Lucy tries again, clenching at his shirt. No matter how bitter the revelation it is, the last thing either need is more trouble, more violence…

More heartache.

But the anger in his eyes is still festering when she passes her phone to him for him to listen to the message as well, biting her lip at his wayward behavior.

Natsu stares blankly down at her phone, swiping to delete the voicemail and call as if it never existed.

' _Did you know Lucy, your dad used to be of our clients?'_ Zeref's voice eerily echoes on.

"Natsu?" Lucy starts.

Instead of answering her, he grabs her by the hand to guide them out into the night. A cool fog hovers over the most of the area, moonlight casting a glow over the grasslands they head towards.

Lucy shivered, feeling Natsu clasp her hand in warmth before tugging them on.

For once, she can't read what's going through his mind.

-x-

 _I went back at least maybe three or four times throughout this chapter to do some editing on ideas I had and gained throughout writing it, particularly more on the Natsu and Lucy interactions with each other and other people. Your feedback would be lovely as always if you have any suggestions too!_

 _Thanks/Shout-outs to maxridelover, sahara1.8, quite-a-riot, zerophelia, and guest for your responses last chapter and all my readers for taking time out to check out the story! About to reach 200 follows soon; you guys are amazing! :)_


	13. Nightmares

**Chapter 13: Nightmares**

"Where are we going?!" Lucy repeated for perhaps the third time in five minutes.

And still, Natsu gave her no answer.

' _Argh, he's so infuriating when he's like this!'_ She screamed mentally.

To no avail, none of her pinching, biting, or even cursing can break the hold he has on her. Even more worrying, the scarlet hue in his eyes hadn't left either…

"Natsu, it's late." Lucy quiets, wind shuffling around them. The moon is slowly becoming obscured by a patch of clouds drifting by as darkness looms over.

"We can't sit still either." He grunts, speaking for the first time since he led her away from her dorm.

"Situations like these _**require**_ us to properly think things through." Lucy retorts with emphasis, ignoring the swirl in her stomach at Natsu's flat expression.

That is until his stomach growling cuts through the silence.

A small grin rises upon her face. ' _Oh, how typical.'_

"Hungry?" She questions lightly.

His cheeks warm to match the color of his hair and Lucy's smile widens.

Some things never change and he's back to the normal Natsu that she loves at his usual boyish smirk.

"Yeah, whatever."

Lucy tugs at them to turn back around, she can still see her dorm close enough in the distance, streetlights leading up the path flickering on and off with the dying crowds passing by.

"Come on, I'll make you something…" She trails off expectantly.

Food will get his mind off of payback.

Hopefully.

Natsu seems caught between allowing her to drag him or swerving them back around. Eventually, their back and forth tug of war halts as he spins her into his chest.

"Fine, you win." He mutters.

His breathe is hot on her ear and before he can notice the sure blush coming onto her face she continues.

"You can't stay the night you know."

Natsu arched a brow, waiting for an explanation.

Lucy smiled sheepishly, pushing back from him slightly. "Levy tipped me in on that the resident assistants for our floor would be doing room checks this week. I can't have you anywhere near my room for too long."

The low chuckle he emits makes her shiver.

"Oh? And did _**that**_ everstop you in the past?" Natsu questioned.

Lucy pouted her cheeks, eyes shifting nervously away from his knowing smirk. "Well, no…but the circumstances are different this time!"

Hands reach to pull her back in before she can say more. "Luce, you always come up with the worst excuses I swear…"

She stepped on his toes in response, ignoring his loud curse and scowl. Nonetheless, she convinced him to come back with the options of homemade lasagna or leftover chicken and rice made a few nights ago.

"Natsu, stop; you're tickling me!" Lucy giggled. The room smells of tomato sauce and cheese as she removes the pan from the oven. Natsu swings her around slightly to face him, grin bright and wild.

Lucy shook her head at his antics, nodding towards the heat coming from behind them. "Don't you want to eat?"

"Hmm, there's something much more _**appealing**_ on my mind right now." He murmured, gaze lingering over her.

"You're so corny." She laughed, though a giddiness flutters in her chest at knowing these lame jokes are reserved only for her.

Natsu shrugged, smile and stare never leaving her. "You know you like it."

The slow flush that rises on her face only makes him move closer; lust shimmering in his eyes.

' _We shouldn't…not with the risks at hand.'_

But then again her body is craving, yearning for him to touch her once more. Before he leaves for the night, she wants to hear that familiar moan…

And in one step back their both tumbling into her bed.

His lips move roughly against hers, urgently. Fingers taunt at the thin pajamas she chose to wear, laughter echoing against the walls.

"I thought you got cold easily at night?" Natsu mused.

"Well, sometimes it gets too warm when Levy leaves the heater on." Lucy hummed back, reaching out to stroke him.

"…Besides, don't you like the _**heat**_?" She emphasized with a tug.

Natsu let out a shallow grunt in return, breathing heavy as he watched her ease his erection out of his boxers.

If she stopped now, he swore…

Pleasure cut off the rest of his thinking, gritting his teeth not to release just yet. He'd be damned if he was going to be the only one getting nude.

Pretty soon those deft hands of his are removing layer by layer from her, kissing and licking at her most sensitive spots.

"Natsu." Lucy hissed, nails dig into the flesh of his back at another thrust while his mouth teases at her breasts. Briefly, in the midst of their heated frenzy she notices another change.

Elongated fangs.

' _What's happening to him?'_

"Luce..." Natsu growls, voice deeper and animalistic. A pressure builds and snaps as she reaches her peak, holding him tightly through the climax.

Sweat blocks her vision through the haze she's still in, Natsu's voice is warm against her ear and she turns towards him to try to hear him.

"I didn't catch that; repeat it." She orders.

Natsu arched a brow at her demanding, thumbing her bruising lips. "I said, what time do the RA's normally check your rooms?"

"It's random, they can come at any hour of the day or night if they want."

Shit.

' _She could've mentioned that to me earlier! Hmm, not that I was focusing so much on that.'_ He reminded himself.

Lucy attempted to sit up slightly, wincing at the throb in her neck.

That scar was aching. Terribly.

Natsu tugged her back down, kissing at said mark. They still didn't fully understand the mystery behind it, why it suddenly came to be or how to get rid of it…

"Natsu, maybe you really did give me something on accident." Lucy suggests, wrapping herself in the blankets amongst them. The warmth of their shared passion is leaving so quickly.

"Yeah, I guess I did, though I didn't want to believe it. That scar isn't fading like past love-bites." He notes somberly. There's a distinct tremble in his tone as he gulps down the knot of fear in his chest.

' _The scar hasn't changed size yet or spread to anywhere else, Lucy still acts the relatively the same, perhaps there's nothing to worry about yet.'_

"Don't be upset, you didn't know." Lucy hums into his chest, holding him close.

He breathes in her scent, fresh lavender lotion and strawberry shampoo filling his nose. He will never get tired of this intimacy.

This comfort.

"I have to go." He sighs, standing and reaching for his clothes. Lucy reddens and looks away as he adjusts his boxers and pants before reaching for his shirt.

Lucy stood up as well, following him to the window. "You can take the lasagna with you, just return the pan back when you get the chance."

Natsu nodded, reaching out to give her a lingering kiss. Arousal is still fresh between them and yet this time nothing about his features are shifting.

Until his eyes abruptly sharpen.

She tugged on his shirt, pursing her lips. "Natsu, just go home. We'll come up with a plan to face Zeref eventually, but not now."

"Who said I was going to him?" He inquired.

Lucy blinked, clicking her tongue. "Don't be a smartass."

In the moonlight, his stare seemed tenser as he leaned in. "Really Luce, I wasn't going to _**him.**_ " _'Though I will eventually…"_

"I was going to your dad." He adds in at her growing scowl.

Immediately, her hold on him dropped.

A sick dread coils and grips at her stomach, the reminder hangs in the air.

Jude used to be one of Zeref's clientele.

"Don't you want to see him too?" He pursues seriously, gripping onto her arm when it seems like she'll slip to the ground.

The room is starting to spin, her voice crackles and grows hoarse.

"Yes, but don't go there alone! You have to promise me you won't do anything reckless regarding him or your brother without me!"

Natsu tapped their heads together lightly, voice low and calming. His response sticks with her as she watches his figure disappear into the night back to his place.

"I wouldn't have it any other way Luce."

-X-

' _That's the fourth one.'_ Lucy counts.

The fourth nightmare of the night.

Dawn will be approaching soon from a quick peek through her blinds, the blackness of the sky slowly starting to become intermixed with orange and blue hues.

Where had the night gone? Natsu had already left hours ago…

Levy isn't here to comfort her somehow, away at Gajeel's knowing the RA's will be privy to his presence.

The two cups of tea she made are only making her head to restroom more than getting actual sleep.

' _Why now? Why was the insomnia returning so much worse than before?!_

She got up off her bed to head towards her desk, rather as well try to be productive and make some notes if she was going to be awake.

Her old daily planner falls down as she moves textbooks and piled up folders out of the way.

' _Ah, that's right, I wrote my goals for the year in here. I've been using my phone and calendar more now and days to write down any upcoming events that I forgot all about this.'_

Those goals to never date, to avoid men…

Natsu had changed that.

And said list of goals indeed shows he's looked at it, trademark chicken scratch handwriting of his in permanent black ink littered all over the page with responses to her self-made plans.

No dating men for the year. (Sorry to say Luce, but that sure didn't happen!)

Focus on my schoolwork to keep up on the honor roll. (You do a pretty good job of this already.)

Avoid causing or creating drama. (You work on the school's newspaper team though.)

Work a steady job and get a steady income. (You work at different places part-time so check to that!)

At this point, it's hard to make out anything else she may have written, Natsu having put in his own 'goals' for her.

Start dating Natsu Dragneel (check!)

Go with Natsu to Fairy Tail's monthly guild meetings. (Can only give you a half check since you haven't shown up to enough of them)

Have sex with Natsu every day- (can't check off on yet, Lucy you're slacking off here!)

"Idiot!" What had he done to her planner?!

The rest of the bullet points mainly consist of them hanging out together and reaching their shared goals. It's silly and she could hear Natsu's voice and enthusiasm as if he were here next to her reading it aloud to her.

When they were freshman, he never said _**this**_ raunchy of jokes to her…

' _Hey, you need help moving those boxes in?' Natsu questioned, lifting one up with ease from Lucy's arms._

 _It was Freshman Move in Week, all her most precious belongings from home that she could manage to fit into three boxes, packed and taped up._

' _Father really didn't think I would do it, move and carry all this stuff without his help.' Lucy breathed, wiping the gathering sweat sticking to her hair._

" _Oi, did you hear me?" Natsu tried again, snapping her from her thoughts. Lucy blinked, nearly stumbling back._

" _Ah, sorry what did you say?" Lucy began._

 _Natsu pointed to the boxes around her. "Need help moving in?"_

 _Brown eyes widened in surprise, shaking her head rapidly. "Oh no, I mean I'm sure you're busy unpacking your own stuff! I-"_

" _Nah, it's cool, you look like you could use it." Natsu interrupted._

 _And before she could retort, he was helping her get her belongings inside in the hours it probably would've taken her. She willed herself not to be so nervous or wary, Magnolia was a new city; she needed to make friends, to be out of her comfort zone._

' _Salmon spiky hair.' She noted, the first thing she took in about this weird guy. Looking downward would mean staring for too long at a cheerful grin and a broad chest…_

 _She bit her lip in embarrassment._

 _To have such thoughts when Loke was her boyfriend. He had encouraged her to make this move to live on campus in the first place when discussing orientation plans, so where was he?_

' _Out flirting, you know this already.' A bitter thought answered for her._

 _He turned back to her as he finished, holding his hand out. "So…I'm Natsu!"_

 _Lucy beamed, shaking away the thoughts as she reached out to accept the handshake. "Lucy."_

 _His hand is warm and stays in hers for much too long, her chest tightens at the small squeeze he gives it._

" _Lucy, I know we just met, but I was wondering…" He trails off._

' _Oh no, please don't ask me out!' Her heart rushes into a panic._

" _Could you share some of that food you had in those take out bags?!" He finishes._

 _A twinge of disappointment comes and goes in a second._

" _No, I'm thankful for your help, but I bought that with my own precious jewels! Besides, then I'll have nothing to eat!" She teases._

 _Though the next day, she finds him on her bed, eating the other leftovers of food she had recently bought._

 _He was here to stay._

Lucy shook her head off the memory of his first break in.

She lightly tapped the scar on her neck, blushing at their more recent encounters.

" _I love you Luce."_

Just when had he fallen for her during all this time?

-X-

"You have to ask him at some point." Natsu repeats.

Lucy sent him a glare, effectively shutting him up. It wasn't like she didn't know that already.

It's the perfect afternoon, the rare chance when they're both free from any classes. Between peeks of looking up from homework on statistical analysis and algebraic formulas, she watches Natsu mess with her phone.

This perfect afternoon is crumbling.

"Natsu, he's at work; I know this already." Lucy sighs, burying her head into the grass. The blades feel surprisingly soft on her cheeks, she could fall asleep here instead of her bed…

"You don't think Jude will answer to his own daughter? Not even if it was an emergency?" Natsu asks.

' _I highly doubt it.'_

Lucy shifts, sitting up to accept her phone. Dragging on an argument when she's exhausted from the morning rush at the bookstore and the in-between shifts she's taken at the jazz cafe on top of regular classes isn't in her plans right now.

"Let's get this over with." She grumbles, sliding the touchscreen down until it reaches his contact.

He answers on the second ring.

"Hello?" His tone is rough and down to business, perhaps he had been in a meeting.

Lucy gulped, words failing her. She hadn't had any time to prepare for this spur of the moment call, no time to think of what to say or how to respond to any of his inquiries.

"I-It's me Lucy." And damn it she's already stuttering.

There's a pause before he speaks again. "Oh, what's going on? You _**never**_ call unless it's for something serious."

"This is serious." She asserts.

She pictures his eyebrows furrowing, flat look on his face.

Natsu's hand pats her shoulder and the restlessness boiling up calms at the urge to explode on him.

"Listen Dad, please be honest with me. Why were you one of Zeref's clientele in the past?"

A heavy groan comes in response that almost has them think he's going to hang up on them. This is it, her heart hammers.

"When did you find out?" He instead asks.

Lucy gritted her teeth, digging up the grass and dirt beneath her. "Don't answer my question with a question! Zeref called me, he _**obviously**_ remembers your name!"

"…I know you have every right to be mad, I would be too at myself so please here me out." Jude responded.

When Lucy said nothing, he took it as his cue to continue.

"Layla as you know before she passed had gotten very ill, none of the best doctors, nurses, and specialists I took her to could help her deal with the pain or provide a proper treatment plan that worked…until I met him." Jude explained.

Tears gather in her eyes at the wistfulness of his tone, an old memory buried brought back to the front of both their minds.

"I don't know what it was in those pills, but it worked for at least that short time. Layla was still sick, but she gained back some of her strength; she wasn't as pale anymore, she smiled more…but it all came with a cost. The conditions are foggy to me now, but I know I had partnered with Zeref for a while; the money was good to repay my debt to him and get some pocket money for myself on the side, though the crimes he did became too much for me." Jude trailed off.

"Eventually, I found a loophole in our agreement and got _**far**_ away from him. He's crafty and knows how to run his lucrative business, despite the outcomes it has for his 'patients'. He warned me of what could happen to everyone precious to me, family and friends if I spilled his information to police or any other authority." He finished.

"The very thought of you dating a member from the Dragneel line is painful and at times, even nauseating. You're my only daughter Lucy, I'm sure by now you know the dangers of being involved with their family, right?" He persisted.

Natsu tensed, grip on her shoulder subconsciously tightening.

Lucy sat up a bit straighter, gathering up her courage.

"I have one last question though."

"If you were truly working with Zeref as you say, then I'm sure at one point even _**you**_ tried one of his drugs to help you with some ailment. Do…do you still think the same way about me taking medication for my insomnia?"

Jude is silent for a moment, she can tell the question has caught him off guard.

"Well, yes and no. _**His**_ drugs aren't the 'typical' run of the mill medicine like what you've been using. Lucy, you shouldn't get caught up in this all. You've tried so many pills and none of them worked, are you sure even now it's still insomnia and not just all in your head?"

And just like that, a part of her heart snaps.

She hears him begin to drone on in feeble attempts to explain himself, but the words aren't reaching her.

No amount of apologies will fix this, trying to reach out to him anymore is pointless.

' _He's never going to understand.'_ Lucy concludes.

"Dad?" Lucy interrupts.

The scar on her neck burns, stinging from the emotional rush. The tension.

"It's too late." She whispers.

Confusion is evident as Jude questions her as Lucy thumbs the wound again.

"It's too late to sever my ties with the Dragneel's; Natsu's marked me."

-X-

"I don't think I've heard somebody cuss me out in some many different languages and forms than your father just did!" Natsu attempted to brighten the mood.

Lucy yawned, curling into the arm wrapped around her silently. She'd forgotten how comfortable Natsu's bed was, his scent and warmth huddled all around her. The evening sun dances across his room, lighting the walls and giving his figure a glow.

Passing the phone over to Natsu to let him explain himself _**definitely**_ hadn't helped.

Next to her, her phone lightly buzzed over and over again with missed calls. All from Jude.

' _Lucy, please hear me out! I know our relationship is strained, but I just want what's best for you! Please pick up-"_

Another click; another message deleted.

He had eventually stopped in the hours that passed, knowing it was futile.

"Shouldn't you at least hear what your dad was trying to tell you? It's possible he might know something even we don't know?" Natsu pipes up.

Lucy shook her head, turning over to hide a sniffle.

"What's there to hear? He's made it clear more than ever now that he thinks your whole family are monsters and that I'm slowly turning into one too."

Natsu looked serious for a moment, brushing streaks of her blonde hair away.

"…He's not completely wrong you know."

But the conversation went no further than that, Lucy listened as his weight pressed off the bed and moved towards his dresser.

Seconds later, he was back by her side, parting her hair further and she gasped as one finger traced against the scar.

"Natsu, don't!" Lucy snapped, sitting up in alarm.

"Chill Luce, I'm just going to put an ointment on it." Natsu chuckled, holding up his hands defensively before she armed herself with a pillow or other weapon.

"Igneel gave me a good boxful of these when I first left for college, it calms me down and can treat any burn or scars from fights I got into. I'm just now remembering I still had some left." Natsu remarked at her silent questioning.

Lucy reddened, but nodded as she turned herself to let him put the cream on. It smelled of aloe vera, spices, and other herbs she couldn't quite put a name to.

The mixture is intoxicating on her nose, leaning into him and shutting her eyes.

"Get some rest." She hears him faintly say before she's gone.

" _Do you know who I am?" A voice calls to her from down the hall._

 _Lucy shook her head, in this endless corridor doors are constantly opening and closing there's no way to tell which one the voice is coming from._

 _Footsteps approach and man reveals himself from the shadows._

" _I'm Zeref Dragneel; Natsu's brother." He introduces himself, coy smile and all._

 _Lucy blinked, giving a weak smile back. He's nothing like she imagined with raven black hair and fanciful garments, but then again Natsu has only shown her one photo of the man and even that was a blurry image._

 _Zeref snaps his fingers and suddenly they're away from the infinite corridor, a basic office surrounds them with only a simple desk separating them._

" _Do you know why I called you here?" He asks curiously._

 _Lucy shook her head, biting her tongue on lashing out with insults that it was probably nothing good._

 _She didn't know what this man was capable of after all._

 _The coy smile drops as his grin became more ominous, leaning his head against his palm._

" _Don't look at me that way Lucy, you don't even know what I'm going to say and already I can tell your thoughts have become filled with assumptions." He noted._

" _Well, it's not like you have the best history knowing the secrets you've kept from society." Lucy remarked back._

 _He laughed hollowly at that._

" _Heh, maybe so, but I didn't come to you today to discuss my work in the underground. I'm here to help you."_

 _Lucy squirmed, scooting back. Her breath instantly caught in her throat when it seemed like the room closed in tighter; her legs were refusing to move…_

 _She was trapped._

 _Zeref's eyes went colder, darkening. "And just where are you trying to go?"_

 _Her heart thumped twice as louder in her ears, biting her lip._

" _I've heard from your father about your insomnia; those endless nights when you can't get to sleep and lie up and count the stars." Zeref stated._

" _I have a medicine that can change that. That can get rid of your insomnia; for good. What would you say to that?" Zeref went on._

 _Lucy snorted despite the fear compressing on her chest. "I would say it's pointless and that I've tried every option out there already."_

" _Not mine." He interrupts._

 _The room narrows further then, her gaze is forced to turn to his as he holds out a tiny white pill._

" _Try it, you've already gotten a taste of what happens from being with Natsu and you enjoyed that, right?" He states._

 _Lucy shook her head, stretching her head back as much as she could._

 _Zeref moved the pill closer, pressing it against her lips._

 _She clenched her lips then in frightened horror; he's going to force it down her throat._

" _You don't have a choice in this; I'll get you addicted one way or another."_

"Lucy, wake up." Natsu gently nudges her.

Zeref's blurry image fades and Lucy lets a gasp escape.

She's still in Natsu's room, he hovers over with a concern look as he wipes sweat and tears away.

"N-Natsu, I…he-"Lucy stammers, giving up and burying herself into him when the words won't come.

Natsu rubbed her back affectionately, holding her close.

' _Don't worry Lucy, I know.'_

-X-

In the weeks that past, neither one of them hear back from Zeref or Jude.

Classes go on, club meetings are still held.

If it weren't for the nagging phone calls still in the back of their minds, it would be easy to fall into this lulled sense of normalcy.

By late spring though shortly before preparations for the last projects and assignments of the semester, Natsu discreetly passes her a note just as their math class is finishing up.

' _Meet me by the student lounge in around 30 minutes.'_ Lucy read.

She sent him a small nod in confirmation, gathering her belongings as their teacher dismissed them. Her stomach starts rolling despite not even knowing what he's going to say.

So she buried her hands into the pockets of her jacket to hide their trembling, muttering to herself to stay positive, to not jump to rushed conclusions.

"Lucy, I've come to a decision after thinking over this for a while. Something that will work for the both of us." Natsu states, pushing off the wall.

Lucy falls into step with him, studying him carefully. There's a tint of red in his eyes amid his hardened expression and the move of lightly brushing their hands makes it seem to die down.

"I know I'm late on telling you, but I spoke with my brother again." Natsu says.

Lucy halted, breaking their hands for a moment. The memory of bad dreams rise and settle in a rush through her thoughts.

"And…?" She asks expectantly.

Natsu turned to face her, licking his lips slowly. "You said based on how the spring semester usually ends, both our last day of finals should be around May 25th, right?"

Lucy nodded. "Yeah, why?"

He sucked in a breath, as if waiting for the impact of a slap to come once the words left his mouth.

"Because June 1st is when we'll meet with Zeref in person."

-x-

 _Oh my goodness, I was so excited by you guys' feedback! I'm making sure to work on those ways to improve my story so continue to let me know of ways I can make my story better! Thanks/Shout-outs to quite-a-riot, zerophelia, SkittlesKitty, Dark Shining Light, Cat, guest, StellaHeartfilia, sarara1.8, and maxridelover for your responses last chapter and everyone for reading! Woohoo to all the 200+ follows and 100+ favorites; you guys rock! :)_


	14. The Butcher

**Chapter 14: The Butcher**

The interlude of silence is painful.

And Lucy is giving him looks that can kill.

"Now Lucy, before you bury me six feet underground…" Natsu began nervously.

Lucy gritted her teeth, holding up a hand to stop him before he said any more.

"Oh you'll be _**lucky**_ if it's only six feet we're talking about here." She growled, stepping towards him menacingly.

Natsu gulped, holding up his hands defensively. "Luce, we have to confront him at some point!"

"Not with only a month and half's time of planning! You said it yourself that your brother is a dangerous man, we need to be properly prepared; ready to face anything he may throw at us!"

She let out a loud sigh, ruffling her fingers through her blonde hair until it became a frizzled mess of knots and twists. Auburn eyes once lit with fire to attack become subdued as she looked away from him.

' _What now?'_

The deed is done already, no amount of screaming, crying, or hitting him will change it.

When she looks at him again, confidence sparkles in his eyes as he stepped toward her again.

"Don't be mad." He murmurs in her ear to which she squirms out of his grasp. It's not too hot or cold out as a cool breeze passes over them, the pavement is soaked with the fresh scent of the early rain that passed in the morning.

"Hmm, how about treating me to lunch?" Lucy suggests at seeing the bustle of students heading into the main cafeteria for the lunch rush hour.

And Natsu knew better not to refuse at the mocking grin she sent his way.

"Sure, why not?"

30 minutes later and plate of fries between them, Lucy has bits of a smile returning. Popping a ketchup stained fry into her mouth, she glanced up to see Natsu practically shoveling his burger into his mouth.

"Slow down, geez! You know this cafeteria is buffet style, right?" Lucy commented at his behavior, partially amused and concerned.

Natsu shook his head, wiping up the grease from his lips. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean they don't run out of the good stuff fast! I still need to go back for my second and third plates!"

He paused though at Lucy's careful scrutiny, leaning back to savor the mix of spices and flavor instead of speeding through.

"How many _**other**_ surprises are you going to throw at me; just tell me now so I can save you the trouble for the future?" She suddenly asked.

He started to choke.

Lucy pushed his glass of water towards him, as if expecting such a reaction. Brown eyes unwavering and glistening.

"Lucy, you don't think I could honestly keep standing by, do you? Even now, Zeref is manipulating another person with drugs, another person is unknowingly getting dependent on him…I won't let him…" Natsu stated.

"Won't let him what?" Lucy cut in, brow arched.

Natsu's eyes darkened then. "I won't let him get _**you.**_ The one I love."

The sharpness of his tone made her heart twist, quickly beating faster than she expected.

"Natsu, I-"

"Hey, you guys! It's rare we see you two outside of the classroom or your dorms!" Gray called out them, interrupting the duo. Juvia beamed from beside him, waving twice as eagerly.

Natsu regarding him sourly. "And what do you want?"

Gray ignored his attitude, scooting into the booth right beside him. Juvia followed suit, sliding in next to Lucy.

"Don't get all pissed with me; _**you're**_ the one who forgot Fairy Tail was holding a meeting for upcoming new members for the summer and fall semesters; remember?" Gray emphasized.

Natsu winched, smacking his forehead. "Crap, I forgot."

"Yeah, Erza pointed it out when master wondered where you were." Gray continued, grin widening at the paleness coming onto Natsu.

Juvia twiddled her fingers, glancing between Lucy and the plate of fries before Lucy laughed and nudged it to her.

"No need to be shy if you want one. Though I know you prefer your fries without ketchup on them." Lucy regarded.

Juvia shook her head, twirling one of her sapphire locks. "Well, while Juvia is hungry…I figured you were more so on a lunch date with Natsu that Gray and I interrupted."

Lucy felt her face grow hot as she casted a side glance towards Natsu, even he looked a bit flustered as well from the implication.

"It's not a big deal, I was just treating Luce to lunch is all." Natsu stated simply to break the awkwardness.

Gray chuckled in amusement, leaning his head against his palm. "Wow, I guess there's a first time for everything in you not piling up all plates while Lucy watches, huh flame brain?"

"Shut it snow queen!" Natsu griped back, shoving him roughly enough that he fell to the ground.

And thus, food became the last thing on either of their minds.

"We weren't disturbing you two, were we?" Juvia asked seriously once more, and Lucy wished she could mask her emotions better.

She bit her lip, she had wanted to ask Natsu about when he had spoken to Zeref, what they had talked about, and plans going forward now…

But, she supposed that all could wait.

Worrying her friends wouldn't help this situation and she refused to have them get involved.

"No, it wasn't…it wasn't that important." She instead lied.

-X-

' _I'm being watched.'_

Natsu sniffed the air, disgusted by the smell permeating around him. All day the pungent scent had been lingering, never too far from him and now as his last class was ending, the odor seemed to be at its strongest.

It reeked of a signature, high-end musty cologne.

' _There's only one guy on campus I know that likes that particular brand…'_

Loke.

He catches a glimpse of his burnt orange hair amongst the halls, tinted glasses and casual smirk hiding his expression.

Natsu goes to him before he makes another move.

"Okay, what exactly is it that you want with me?" He growled.

Loke scoffed, winking at a group of girls passing by. "Nothing from _**you;**_ Lucy on the other hand…"

' _Don't rise to the bait.'_ Natsu quickly reminds himself.

Balled fists in his pockets are growing hot, itching to take this pent up anger out on **s** _ **omebody.**_ That pop quiz in fire dynamics in symbols did notgo the way he wanted, perhaps he could use some more practice on a certain _**target**_ …

"Contrary to what you think, Lucy and I don't have the exact same class schedule."

Loke rolls his eyes, instead pushing a note into his hands.

"Just give that to her whenever you see her. Tell her, 'the butcher' is back in town. She'll know what it means."

Natsu's first thought instead is to burn said letter, Lucy's past is a blurry mess of painful memories and dark moments he's sure she's not proud of.

This too, is probably no different.

However…

Such a grisly nickname is putting him on high alert. He's heard that name in passing before, whispers in the underground circuit of a rising kingpin. Zeref hadn't paid the rumors any care at the time, but now that he was hearing them again for himself...

The note stays buried in his pocket for the rest of the day. He spends the rest of the day investigating deeper into the name.

And the more he finds, the more stressed he becomes.

"Natsu, you're awfully quiet." Lucy notes, stretching up from his side. The library is perfectly quiet at this time of day for the study date their having, a lulled hush from the earlier shuffling of footsteps now that it was late into the evening.

Because not even once has Natsu tried to change the topic or distract her with kisses…something _**must**_ be up.

"So…are you going to tell me what's going on?" She continues, brushing her nails against his hand. He tenses briefly for a moment at the action before sighing.

"I ran into your Ex earlier, he wanted me to pass along a message to you." He grunts.

' _Loke, ugh what is he doing now?'_

Brown eyes roll as she scoffs at hearing anything he has to say, but Natsu's stiffness is giving her bad vibes.

"Natsu; what is it?" She whispers.

Natsu paused, dark eyes sharpening. "He said 'the butcher' is back in town."

Seconds pass and Lucy says nothing, face tightening and growing pale. Before he can even properly call out to her, she's slipping backwards.

Fainting.

-X-

"Stop hovering over her like that with your molten breath!" Gray berated.

To his surprise, Natsu gives no ice themed insult in return.

"There's too many lights on in here, brightness isn't good when you have a migraine." Levy pipes up.

"I think it was more of a dizzy spell than a sudden headache." Gajeel points out.

"What _**exactly**_ were you two doing anyways before she collapsed, huh? If it was anything that could have harmed Lucy I'll-" Erza adds in.

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" Natsu snaps.

The room goes dead silent then.

Makarov pushes his way through the crowd, signaling for everyone to give them space. Lucy remains out cold through it all as Natsu turns back to her sleeping form, moonlight dancing over her figure.

"Master, I-"Natsu begins.

Makarov shakes his head, smiling as best he could despite the situation at hand.

"You did the right thing bringing her here, don't think for a minute you did something wrong." He states, already knowing where his thoughts had gone.

Natsu shakes his head, wanting to say more but thinking otherwise. He doesn't know about his past crimes, about his family's indiscretions…

And he has no intentions of endangering what he considers his second family.

"She must've had some scare to collapse like this, lucky she didn't sustain any injury during the fall." Makarov mumbles, scratching a hand through his ivory hair.

"Pushing herself with too much studying and working is all." Natsu speaks up.

Makarov arches a brow, lips pursed in a firm line. He hated when any of his 'children' lied to him, no matter what the reasons were.

Natsu was a stubborn one though.

"If there's anything at all you need help with, you know where to come." He states after a while.

A crack of a grin forms then. "Oi, you know you're the first one I'll call on pops!"

Lucy opens her eyes as soon as he closes the door behind him. Minutes pass before the room breaks from its blurry haze as she takes in her surroundings, pushing away a warm cloth than had been placed over her head.

' _How long was I out?'_

"He doesn't know, does he? About Zeref and whatnot?" Lucy questions, sitting up slowly.

Natsu shakes his head, turning back towards her; gaze knowing with a small smirk.

"You're a terrible actor by the way Luce."

Lucy felt her cheeks burn, gazing away from him; of course he would notice when she was faking being asleep.

"Who is he?" He goes on, voice getting tight.

The ball of nerves in her chest returned at his tone, clasping at the bedsheets to keep herself steady.

"…He used to be friends with Loke and I. He's an underground dealer of all types of pills, shots, you name it, and he had it. He was popular at all the big name parties you could think of selling crazy stuff to anyone willing to get a quick thrill. I thought he got caught by the police years ago." She explained.

Natsu looked thoughtful, leaning in closer. "You think he knows my brother?"

Lucy shrugged, biting her lip. "It's a possibility, he could know more about him than us even now that I think about it."

The very thought is scary, her head throbs and she lays back before another wave of dizziness overtakes her.

' _Why had he returned now of all times, after saying he wanted to leave this dead end area?'_

The past refused to stay buried and pretty soon, he would dig up _**everything.**_

It'd been so long since she, he, and Loke had hung out altogether. Flashes of damp alleyways, bitter tastes on her tongue, and cold touches blur by before she blinks them away as Natsu shakes her arm.

He narrowed his eyes. "You don't trust him, do you?"

"No, of course not! He's not safe to be around!" She huffed.

Natsu smiled deviously and goosebumps prickle her skin.

"I'm risky to be around too."

She giggled, shaking her head at his teasing even though the statement held some truth to it.

Anything to help ease this rising tenseness.

He nodded then as a comfortable silence fell over them, standing up. Lucy followed his gaze, frowning at the darkness brewing back into expression. When he turns to her again, flashes of red gleam in his black eyes.

His mind is already wandering towards 'business.'

And the room quickly feels colder as she sucks in a breath, mustering her best glare to stop him. Something in her body feels hot as she reaches out to grip him tightly, surprising them both at her sudden strength.

Her scar throbs, but she ignores it.

"He cuts people who get in his way or don't pay him back. Natsu, you always do this, running off without thinking first."

Natsu gritted his teeth, cursing when Lucy digs her nails in enough to break the skin.

Neither of them are backing down on this.

"So…either he'll find us or we'll find him, right?" He sneers.

Lucy shook her head, pulling back from him. A sad smile arises as memories come back.

"No, he always comes first to his targets."

-X-

The waiting game has been going on for a week.

It's become a habit every day now to keep looking over her shoulder, checking halls before walking in, looking both ways twice…

For him.

' _This is crazy, I'm going to become completely paranoid if I keep this up!'_ She berated herself.

Her habit too has become infectious, Natsu checking in on her with simple calls and texts practically every hour until nightfall.

He's attempting to track a man without even knowing what his enemy looks like.

"You work tonight?" Lucy reads aloud the newest message, sighing before typing something back.

" _ **Yes."**_

A few seconds pass before her phone buzzes again.

" _ **Alright, be careful. Text me by 9:30 to let me know when you're leaving. I'll walk you back to the dorms."**_

Lucy smiled, even if she said it wasn't necessary he would come anyways.

The last shift of the night at the bistro wasn't her favorite, customers hardly came in once 9 o clock passed, but she needed the pay.

"Alright, here's your double cappuccino and cinnamon latte to go!" She chirped, handing over the items to the man as he gave her an added tip.

"Thanks, going to be pulling an all-nighter with the help of these!" He called over his shoulder as he exited.

She'd probably be too once she got out of here. Coffee or not.

The café grew quiet again with his departure, the soft sound of jazz and piano echoing against the walls.

"Lucy, since business is slow tonight you can head on home early! Just make sure all the tables are cleaned and the chairs are stacked!" Melissa, one of the co-managers bellowed out to her from back in the kitchen.

' _Perfect, just what I wanted to hear!'_

Oh, how she had so much catching up to do in terms of reports and finalizing projects it wasn't even funny. Sleep could get put off again for another night, at least until exams were over and she knew what her final grades would be in each class.

' _My GPA can't take another beating like it did last semester with so many B's! I'm making sure I stay on the honor roll!'_

The thought made her put more vigor into her spritzing and wiping to hurry up and be done, barely hearing the familiar chime of the store's bell.

"Still as lively as ever I see." A deep male's voice grunted out.

She peered up faintly, piercing blue eyes gazing at her in return. A crooked grin etched his face as Lucy's eyes widened in recognition.

"Roy-"Lucy murmured, stepping back.

His grin morphed into a nasty scowl then, spitting as if he had tasted something foul. "You know I hate it when people call me by my real name."

Her heart pounded twice as loud. Great, she had already pissed him off.

"I-I can't call you by that nickname. Not anymore." She stated lowly.

His brows furrowed, cold grin returning with more amusement. "And why not _**Luce?**_ You didn't have any problems calling me 'butcher' back when it was you, Loke, and I. I bet you're still having problems getting enough sleep, aren't you? I can pull a few strings and get you this new drug on the market that-"

"No!" Lucy abruptly snapped.

"Why are you back in town anyways?! You said you hated it here, remember? That you 'couldn't wait to get the hell out of Fiore and find better business elsewhere' what happened to all of that talk?" She went on.

He shrugged, unfazed by her outburst. "There's a part of the drug market clientele here that I would like to acquire."

Lucy shook her head, distracting herself by cleaning up again. Oh, why couldn't Melissa or one of her other co-workers come out from the back to save her from this situation?

"You're too late." She grumbled.

Roy had the decency to look confused for a moment, chuckling as he caught on to what she meant.

"You talking about the Dragneel family, right?"

Lucy only nodded.

Roy said nothing, cobalt eyes sweeping over her figure. She squirmed, gritting her teeth as he licked his lips.

"Loke told me you had gotten involved with one of them, he's even marked you." He mused, pointing out the scar she's always desperately trying to hide.

In one quick stride he's dangerously close to her, cigarette and alcohol mixed breath burning against her face. Tears pool in her eyes from the sting, moving back only makes him step closer.

"Remember what I did to those men that flirted with you at the at one wild club party? How that night I acquired the name butcher? Don't forget how much of a jealous man I can be…even Loke didn't know how I felt about you then. And now."

She swallowed the hard knot in her throat, his feelings hadn't changed.

"Such a shame really, does your new boy toy even _**know**_ your history? _**Our**_ history?" He continues.

"We have _**no**_ history." Lucy emphasizes coldly.

"Besides, Natsu knows enough about me and we both know that Zeref would never let you control any part of his underground empire, you're in over your head." She retorts, pushing back from him.

"And you two think you can somehow take him down? Trust me, you'll need to know more about the black market and nightlife than what you think you can find through a couple of books or a web browser. Especially if you want to know what exactly are in those drug components Zeref makes that can cure you of your problems…like that scar of yours." He taunted.

An ugly truth.

Fingers reach to caress at her face, coiling at her neck when she refuses to meet his gaze.

"What the hell happened to you? Loke was right when he said you changed, but I didn't think it would be by _**this**_ much."

She pushed back from him before his grip grew any tighter.

"Of course I'm not the same! I never wanted to be that person, that pill-popper or party girl chasing some unachievable high!"

He snorted, blue eyes sharpening.

"You'll need me." He sneered.

"I won't." She counters back.

But instead of continuing the banter, he shoves his hands back into his pockets, turning to go.

"You're so stubborn. Well, tell Dragon I said hello… or maybe I'll pay him a visit myself." He calls over his shoulder; a promise he'll return.

And when she truly feels his presence is gone, she breaks down in a sob.

-X-

"Damnit, Damnit, Damnit!" Natsu repeats, punching a hole into a wall.

Annoyed looks sent his way quickly grow wary at the harsh glares he gives in return.

Blood and pieces of chipped wood stab his skin, though Natsu seems blind to the pain as he continues his pacing.

"Shit, if only that stupid meeting hadn't ran so late with all those questions!" Natsu growled.

Lucy meanwhile dazedly stared at her reflection in the table, dark bags sitting under her eyes. The two sit in the lobby of her dorm at half past 1 in the morning.

"Natsu, stop doing that. You know you can't afford to pay for all those gaps you're creating."

She beckoned him to come sit beside him before he moves on to cause any more property damage. The past hours have been spent burying her head in notes, word documents, and textbooks and yet…

Lingering blue eyes keep drifting to mind.

"I'll kill that bastard the next time he even looks at you!" Natsu spat, crackling his knuckles.

"You don't even know where to find him." Lucy mentions.

He turned towards her, growl beastly. "Did he hurt you?"

"What?"

"Did. He. Hurt. You?" He reiterates.

The flash of the longer canines of his teeth makes her wince. He's transforming right before her eyes and she doesn't know how to stop it.

' _I have to calm him down, fast!'_

"No, I promise you he didn't." She answers quickly.

The response doesn't soothe him enough though, onyx eyes now bathed in red.

His hand slips out of hers when she reaches towards him and her stomach twists when he won't meet her gaze anymore.

"I'm going for a walk, get some rest." He mutters.

And this time she can't stop him from going.

The air at night is warmer now that the summer months approach, crickets buzz as he passes through a thicket of grass, dew brushing against his legs.

"You know not too long ago, perhaps a year or so it used to be _**me**_ or Loke who kept her company at night." A distinct voice calls out to him.

"Oh? And did you ever think that maybe it wasn't _**you**_ two that she wanted, but just what you gave her to help her sleep or take her mind of her stress?" He challenged back.

The fist he sends barely misses him, a cold grin forms as he throws his own in return.

And he makes sure it _**connects.**_

Roy spits as he cracked his head back into place, bloody smile making him appear manic as the moon passed over them.

"Not bad Dragon."

"What do you want?" He snaps, fists tightening for another hit.

Blue eyes spark with malice, daring him to make another move. "Oh, what don't I want? Though there is one thing I can say we both desire."

Natsu stiffened briefly, already knowing what he would say.

"You know what it is right? I can see it in your eyes too; we both want to take your brother down." He beamed.

"We should work together, I mean I doubt he would even expect it if you and I-"

"No way." Natsu interrupts.

"I know your type _**Butcher.**_ You feign innocence by pretending to work with your clients or friends, but then you take everything from them when they least expect it, dismembering their bodies and figures to the point they're unrecognizable so they can't squeal on you."

"But this time you won't get everything you want: Lucy." He finishes.

He breathed slowly at her name, closing his eyes and Natsu watched carefully as his hands moved up to brush against the growing bruise near his jaw.

"Think about what I said Dragon, you and I could both make a damn good team and you know it. Whether were fighting on the same team though is up to you. I believe you have until the evening of May 31st to decide before you go off to see Zeref the next day, am I right?" He chuckled.

' _How did he know that?'_

Shit, there was more to him than he expected.

Natsu rolled his eyes, and he thought Loke was an ass to deal with.

"…Though in regards to your current relationship with Lucy." He brought up lightheartedly.

Only to switch to a wry grin, he loved a good risk based on what he knew and saw already of the two.

" _ **Watch out."**_

-x-

 _I hope my thoughts I the direction this chapter went doesn't bother anyone. I didn't think while writing this chapter it would be completely realistic for just Natsu and Lucy alone to be able to take on Zeref so fast without getting help from someone who knows the inside too, though it's yet to be seen if 'the butcher' can truly be trusted in helping them! Thanks as always/shout-outs to quite-a-riot, maxridelover, SkittlesKitty, Edo-Salandria, and sarara1.8 for your responses last chapter and everyone for reading. :)_

 _Enjoy. Review. Favorite. Follow!_


	15. Crushing

**Chapter 15: Crushing**

Lucy wakes with only five hours of sleep under her belt, sweaty and heart dizzily pounding.

' _It was just a dream…just a dream.'_ She mentally repeats.

But no, it wasn't.

This was a painful reality.

Roy was back.

Memories of him stained her past, threatening to wreck the current present she had worked so hard to create…

To maintain.

" _Why do you like me so much anyways? I'm not anything like any of the past girls you've dated."_

 _It's hard to hear him over the noise of the crowd, strung along by Loke's idea she needed to get out more than spend all her time studying._

 _And like any other night, the club scene was bustling, most regular customers downing drinks and grinding much too close for her pleasure on the dancefloor._

" _Other girls I've dated were already strung up on drugs, too far addicted even before the time I got to them. You…well you're still pure; untainted by society's darker side. Maybe that's why Loke is so attracted to you; as am I." He easily answered, chugging his drink in one go like its water._

 _She snorted, wishing Loke would hurry up and come back already._

 _He was more of his friend than hers, having introduced them only a few days ago at a hangout most of the freshman and sophomores preferred to get away from any older adult or law enforcement's prying eyes._

 _Too bad said man wasn't here at the moment._

 _He was away on a quick run for more money, mumbling excitedly about some party held by one of the daughters of a famous celebrity on the other side of town._

 _She sighed, remembering the last time he had come back late, clothes lingering with the scent of cheap perfumes and sex._

 _He wouldn't be back until tomorrow; they both knew it._

 _Roy only chuckled._

 _And she shivered at the sound of him sharpening his pocket blade beside her, he too had been out much later than he said he would be on 'business' though at least he had the decency to come back at the agreed upon time._

 _He refused to say what it was he had been doing._

" _You're no better Luce. You're not anything like Loke's party/flirty style. I'm not sure why you put up with him or what you see in him."_

" _Besides…" He crooned on, curling an arm around her waist before she could pull back._

 _When she looked up she saw his blue eyes had sharpened, teeth a moldy yellow from a mix of his favorite liquors and cigarettes as he grinned. She broke out of his grip, scowling._

" _This isn't a funny joke anymore, stop messing with me!"_

 _Roy frowned, lighthearted demeanor fading. He held up his blade against the light and her eyes widened at the dry blood staining the edges._

" _Who's playing?" He whispered, continuing on at her silence._

" _When I like or want something Lucy,_ _ **I**_ _go after it…"_

She wrapped herself tighter within the thin sheets of her blue summer duvet to bury the thoughts, it got warmer at nights now and yet she still felt so sold.

"Lucy, what's wrong?" Natsu's voice calls out to her.

A light blush heats her face as she turns back to him, shirtless and looking just as tired as her.

"Another nightmare." She replies, shifting to lay back beside him.

She shouldn't have sneaked him back in after fiasco during the night, Levy eyes them unconvincingly at their story of Roy and his promise of bringing chaos though she gives in once she sees how foul Natsu's mood is beneath his fake smile.

This was serious.

Natsu pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time, half past 8 am already.

His stomach lurches with hunger, that's right; he hasn't ate anything since last night. Lucy hears it and giggles, the first genuine smile she's had in hours.

"Well, it's not like we can lay in bed all day." She muses.

Natsu chuckles, holding her against her chest as a squeal escaped her.

"Oh, and who says?"

Lucy fixed him with her best scowl, pointing to her desk still littered with textbooks bookmarked with various papers and pens.

"Says the homework and assignments I have yet to do!"

Lips brush against the curve of her neck, kissing her scar mark tenderly. She expected a sudden throb at the action, surprised when no tenseness came. Over the past week it seemed like she could pretend it wasn't even there, explaining it away as a childhood accident to anyone who questioned it's site.

"Your body's getting used to it." He whispers.

And neither know whether that's a good or bad thing.

' _This toxin swirling in my body, is it going to…?'_

She didn't want to finish the thought, images of Natsu's slow metamorphoses coming to mind. Life had been easier when she could pretend she didn't have feelings for Natsu, when schoolwork and avoiding men had been her number one priority…

But then men she was most often attracted to were almost always a magnet for danger.

"Stay here in bed with me, we can eat something later." He hums, already pushing her back down.

"First of all, this is _**my**_ bed, second of all I'm hungry, and third and most importantly; I'm going to study after this!" Lucy retorted.

"Hmm, one and two don't matter that much." Natsu replies.

And then he fixes her with a roguish grin, fingers under the ends of her nightgown until the sound of the door clicking open stops them.

"Ugh, smells like Salamander was here again. Bunny girl never kicks him out to go home?" Comes a gruff voice.

Natsu and Lucy grimaced in unison at the nicknames.

Levy's snicker resounds in the air. "Oh, he's _**still**_ here!"

Gajeel yells out a hello followed by griping that it's bad to keep Levy up at night and Lucy wishes they had gone back to his place instead.

Gray doesn't get as much amusement out of teasing her over past clothes she's been forced to dress up in.

They fortunately don't stay for long, Natsu yawns and straightens up again while Lucy follows suit.

"We…we need to see Roy; I'm sure he has an idea of Zeref's method of working and experimenting?"

Natsu arched a brow, brushing a hand through his ruddy pink locks. "You mean Butcher?"

She gulped at the nickname, but nodded.

For a while he said nothing, much to her dismay. Silently he stood up, reaching for his shirt and jeans and tossing them back on.

He open the windows slightly to gaze out, sunlight falling in as a warm air passed into the room.

His tone is emptier when he speaks again, colder.

"When?"

Nails fidget against the sheets, she didn't want to delay the inevitable.

"Today."

-X-

He's doing it again.

Lucy resists the urge to say it, but it's truly bugging her. She turns another page in her English book, finally almost done with the reading.

But Natsu gritting his teeth beside her truly sounds like a buzzer in her ears.

"Do you mind?" She grunts, when she can't take it anymore.

Natsu gave her a side glance, stopping the action. "What?"

"You know what!"

He cocks his head in puzzlement, smirking at her clear annoyance. "No, but care to tell me? I can't stop what I'm doing if I don't know what it is."

Ugh, he's so impossible.

In the beginning he had been studying with her, wanting to take in the fresh air by going to one of the many open fields of Magnolia's university offered instead of being cooped up inside. Petals from one of the late blooming trees swirl around them, spring is holding out longer than she imagined.

And somehow, Natsu finishes up his studying before her.

"Luce, you study too hard. Finals still aren't for two more weeks you know." He teased, resting his head back against the bark of the tree they were under.

She jabs the butt of her pencil into him in retaliation.

"He's going to be here in the next hour." Lucy notes, going back to looking over her notes. Natsu opens one eye at the mention, mumbling incoherently under his breath.

' _Please play nice.'_

Minutes pass and she smells his approach before he even speaks.

Roy towers over them, openly sneering.

"Thought you wanted to talk to me _**alone.**_ "

Natsu hadn't moved from his position, onyx eyes narrowing into slits. "Yeah? And where the hell did you get _**that**_ idea?"

Lucy cleared her throat before any more choice words occurred. They were in an open area after all, other students close enough in hearing range.

"Tell us what you know." She states to the point.

Roy arched a brow, plopping down next to the pair.

A crooked grin etches onto his face before he shakes his head. "No...at least not without discussing some terms."

Her stomach reeled, biting her lip tightly.

" _When was the last time you got any sleep? I mean an actual good night's rest without being awakened?" He questioned._

 _Her father was away on another corporate venture, leaving the maids to attend to her. They hadn't even noticed she had stepped out for the night again._

 _Lucy shrugged, her body ached from all the walking they had done but still she was awake. She peered at her reflection in one of the puddles nearby, staring at the red cracks aligning the white in her eyes._

 _She didn't know._

 _Roy shook his head, fiddling with something in his pocket._

" _Loke told me you had trouble sleeping, though I didn't know it was this bad. I've heard about this one guy from the Dragneel family, I've sold a bit of his pills here and there for him and I'm sure he has something that could help you-"_

" _No!" She hissed, cutting him off sharply._

 _No more pills, no more side effects. The nausea, dizziness, and chest pain had become too much for her to bear._

 _All of that wasn't worth it._

" _It's illegal to sell or even have that stuff on you! I'll find something to help me with my insomnia, but it won't be more medicine. Besides…" She trailed off._

 _Roy looks unconvinced, looking up from his drink curiously at her abrupt silence._

 _Lucy pursed her lips, suddenly feeling her throat go dry._

" _Besides, I've heard the rumors…that you're gaining the nickname butcher for what you do to those who don't pay." She finishes._

 _His gaze is hollow, cerulean eyes dead. Perhaps he's become so desensitized now to those he's hurt…_

" _I'm making a lot of good money in this Luce. Much more than you're making in those dead-end jobs of yours or even what you'll make in pursing astrology and the sciences for college." He remarked._

" _At least it will be_ _ **legal**_ _." She bites back._

 _He reaches a hand towards her, scowling briefly when she retracts hers. The lights are flashing irritably every few seconds and the she's growing tired of hearing the constant stream of electronica boom in her ears._

 _Her bed is calling her, whether she gets any sleep or not._

 _Over her shoulder she can hear Roy call for her, knowing she'll be back again soon._

" _I love it when you're feisty."_

Natsu sat up, growling at Lucy's clear uncomfortableness. He may not know the history Lucy had with this freak, but he knew it was the past.

And she wouldn't be able to move on without help.

"I highly doubt you know my brother better than I do." He cut in.

"Maybe, but you've hardly talked more than a sentence to him over the years. I know how he runs his underground system better than either of you; or at least the most prominent people he uses to get his drugs across all of Fiore. Patients and clientele flock to him under the guise of 'Dr. Dragneel' and you two wouldn't even begin to know how to stop him; he won't hand over his secrets to anyone to help them or himself. The only thing I don't know is what exactly it _**is**_ that he's using that's getting people hooked so fast." Roy explained.

"Is that why you want to break him down? So you can be the next kingpin or something?" Natsu growled and Lucy recognized the familiar malice in his eyes.

And Roy was perfectly baiting him.

"Yeah and you know what else I need? A _**queen pin**_ beside me." He practically purred, eyeing Lucy as the words rolled off his tongue.

Natsu tightened his hands into fists.

Lucy hurriedly stepped between him.

This would never work.

The way things were sounding they needed blackmail on Zeref, information only those most closely associated with him could possibly know in order to even stand any chance of getting an idea of what was happening to Natsu.

And to her.

So of course unfortunately the one they came across was refusing to talk.

"What are your terms?" Lucy whispered.

The two men both stared at her unison, one frowning, and the other smiling in surprise.

"Lucy, you're not seriously going to hear what the _ **butcher**_ has to say; do you?!" Natsu snapped.

But Lucy holds up a hand to stop him before he goes into a rant.

She silently pleas with him to trust her and he sighs.

"I'll invite you to gain information from my consorts on that brother of yours Dragon. Things even _**you**_ probably don't know that you can use against him to get him to do what you want, though only on the condition that I-"He paused and turned towards Lucy.

"You go out with me; for one night only at the hotel Magnolia Palace and Casino."

-X-

"Hell. Fucking. No!" Natsu roared.

After each word is another punch into the tree, by the time he's done it lays in crushed shambles beneath them, thorns and pieces of wood stick to his hands, blood creeping down his arms that he's completely blind to.

' _Oh, master isn't going to like this when he word reaches him.'_ Lucy squirms.

Roy has thankfully left, giving them time to think it over. As if they need time, she had already told him no.

' _Then I guess you going to Zeref will be quite pointless then.'_ She scowls at his words.

"Don't even consider it, I'll get him back for even making a joke like that!" Natsu states lowly, turning back to face her.

It's as if she's looking at a completely different person.

The heavy glow of red in his eyes blends in with his now razor sharp teeth and nails.

"What's wrong with him? He looks half-beast." A student whispered behind them.

"Hell, I don't want to find out, Lucy's the only one who can calm him down when he gets like _**that**_." Another muttered.

The whispers seem like they're only growing louder and Lucy hurriedly pushes them from the growing crowd.

"He can't go out with you Luce, I refuse it!" Natsu growls, animalistic and cold.

"In case you weren't paying attention I already told him no! So you can relax now; _**I**_ refused for you!" She griped back.

They weave through a sting of bushes and paths until it seems like they're on the other side of the campus. The older architecture of the buildings is new to her, fading paint chipping the sides and the brick of the building overgrowing with the shrubs from nearby.

Natsu is still muttering about her not dating him until she firmly turns back to him, glare sharpening to match his.

"I said _**RELAX**_!" She emphasized loudly. It comes out crueler than she intends and part of her wonders if it's just do to stress or…

Her scar faintly twitches.

Natsu at least calms, eyes wide in surprise. Perhaps he saw it too what she's feeling; the same sensations he gets when his emotions feel overwhelmed.

"I-I just don't want you to trust butcher, everything he says always comes with a price. His clientele just find that out the hard way." He muttered.

Lucy smiled, albeit weakly as she grasped their hands together. "I know that. You don't have to let your jealously get to you like that."

Natsu huffed, tell-tale red coming onto his cheeks.

"I wasn't jealous!" He sputtered childishly.

"You destroyed two full grown trees as soon as he finished talking." Lucy dryly replied.

And Natsu scratched a hand through his hair guilty.

She guided them to one of the nearby benches, taking a better look around. There were hardly any students or faculty walking around here, it seemed as if time had stopped in this one particular location of the university. The closest building held no lights, windows cracked or wide open in disarray.

"Where are we?" Lucy murmured.

Natsu looked around, sniffing the air carefully.

"Smells like the old research buildings from years ago. People like to explore them around Halloween time for the ghost stories and the lore." He related.

A shiver crept up her spine.

She had led them to the abandoned side of the school. Great.

Natsu chuckled deviously at her obvious fear. "What's wrong Lucy? You were just screaming at me earlier in my angry state and now you can't handle a ghost?"

"It's two very different things." Lucy huffed.

Natsu continued to laugh, trying to spook her with stories of dust filled halls, and creeping spirits.

"Hey, we still have plenty of free time until our next class to _**investigate**_ one of these buildings." He implied.

Not a moment later Lucy elbowed him in his side.

' _He's back to normal.'_ She thought.

Her heartbeat was still quick from the earlier adrenaline rush, peering over her shoulder to see Natsu whine she hit him too hard.

Just how long would this 'normalcy' last?

-X-

Gray rubbed his cheek thoughtfully, glancing towards Gajeel who simply shrugged. He probably wanted no part in this either.

"Well…I wouldn't say it's a bad plan." Gray eventually relents.

It was still hot for the late evening, sunlight giving its last hurrahs for day in a dying mix of reds and oranges as they head to another Fairy Tail meeting.

Lucy promises to meet him there, even sending him a pic showing the guild hall's set up.

Natsu sighed, gazing up at his two friends.

"I think this is the best option considering what Lucy might do." He concluded.

Gajeel leaned his head against his palm, looking bored. "And what makes you think she'll agree to this plan of yours? Bunny girl has been known for doing things her own way; we both know that."

"Why would she want to go out with this creep if he's how you describe him to be?" Gray questioned.

Natsu grunted, bunching his hands into his pockets. "She won't be! Damn it snow queen, are you even listening?!"

"Get your nasty fire breath out of my face!" He snapped, pushing his face away.

"Make me!" He hissed in return.

A cough interrupted them from their beginning another daily brawl, Lucy staring between the two.

Though her gaze lingered on Natsu much longer out of two. Menacing.

Gray sent him an amused glance as he walked in first, Gajeel trailing after him with his usual chuckle.

Lucy arched a brow, stepping forward.

"What's this about plans?"

Natsu held up his hands defensively. "I was just talking with the guys about ways to get around to the butcher!"

Auburn eyes held curiosity. "And?"

"I was thinking you could go…with me as your back up!" He related carefully.

Lucy blinked, clearly puzzled. "Huh? He would never agree to that! He's smarter than he looks despite the attitude and things he says."

Natsu fished something out of his pocket, holding up a bottle of black hair dye. Her eyes widened in recognition, realizing where he was going with this.

"What if I was disguised? I think pretending to be one of your dad's hired bodyguards or one of his crazy customers would suit me well." He mused.

"Can you even act?" Lucy questioned.

Natsu shrugged, smirking. "Probably."

And Lucy resisted a smile, shaking her head before going back inside before the meeting started without them.

He somehow always had a backup plan; crazy or not.

-x-

 _Had to properly gather my ideas for this chapter and moving forward, hope you guys like it! Let me know if you have any suggestions/ideas! :D_

 _Enjoy. Review. Favorite. Follow!_


	16. Unravel

**Chapter 16: Unravel**

' _Alright, hour four done.'_

Lucy mentally congratulates herself, four hours of continuous study. No distractions via phone calls, texts, or the TV buzzing in the background.

And especially, no Natsu barging in.

Oh yes, she was going to stick to this timetable she had created for the week leading up to finals! 4 hours of study, an hour break to eat/relax, then back to the grind again.

Too bad sleep hadn't been effectively worked in… yet.

' _It will be though, it will be…'_ She assures herself.

Her stomach rumbles through the silence of the library, her head throbs again with the beginnings of a migraine.

With a sigh, she closed her biology book and set it to the side.

Hunger and exhaustion won't help her to retain any knowledge.

A quick glance at her watch shows it already almost 10:00 pm; it was hard to believe just a few hours ago she had been in the dining hall eating with Juvia and Levy. Moonlight comes in through the glass, creeping and lighting the darkened areas of the shelves.

Nobody ever comes up to third floor this late at night and she crinkles her toes at the sudden thought of Roy popping up out of nowhere to ask what she's up to.

Her bed and hot shower are beckoning her.

But she's not even five steps out the library before that plan is ruined.

"Hey!" Natsu chirps out, throwing an arm around her. She's not even startled by his abrupt appearance, brown eyes barely shifting off her textbooks and various other belongings.

"What cha doing out this late?" Lucy drawls. Fairy Tail already had their last meeting of the year and he would've told her if there were any final upcoming events.

They fall into stride walking the same path back to her dorms, he smells of smoke and ash and she wonders if _**that**_ was a part of his pyrotechnics class or…

Something else entirely.

Natsu maintains his lopsided grin though, pulling her closer much to her annoyance and embarrassment. She doesn't want his current smell all over her!

"What's wrong with walking my girlfriend back to her place? Safely, considering its nightfall?" He muses.

And Lucy shakes her head, smiling as he took her books to carry without question. "Nothing, nothing; it's just…you've been doing this all week."

"Doing what?" He feigns confusion.

"Waiting and watching outside my classes, my last final is tomorrow afternoon. Besides, _**you**_ need to worry about your own classes and grades as well!" She emphasizes.

Natsu nods along, onyx eyes surveying the fields every now and then. "We have to be on alert, you told Roy this Saturday; right?"

Lucy nodded and it felt like her stomach is twisting in on itself once more.

A fake date. With Roy.

" _And what may I ask brought on this change of heart?" He slurs, his breath reeks of the fresh scent of alcohol._

 _They're curled away in the corner one of Magnolia's fancier nightclubs; club exhilarate lives up to its name in more ways than one as she watches from the corner of her eye as he seals another drug deal under the bouncer's nose._

' _Maybe he paid him off.' A colder thought snorts. She wouldn't put it past him._

" _I…I want to know everything; catch up on old times with you." She eventually admits._

' _Wow, I couldn't up with a better lie?' Lucy bemoaned herself._

 _Roy cocks a brow, blue eyes sharpening. Penetrating._

" _I don't believe you; don't try to fool me now Lucy. You_ _ **know**_ _how I get when people double cross me…"_

 _The cocktail he offered her is threatening to come back up._

 _But she needs the information he has on Zeref. Much more than she'll ever admit aloud to him._

 _Or herself._

 _His hand reaches to coil into hers and she forces herself not to pull back. It would only be for one night; Natsu would be lurking close enough to stop him if things went south…_ _ **when**_ _things probably went south._

" _Oh wait; don't tell me!" Roy chuckles in mock surprise and Lucy clenches her tongue to keep from snapping._

" _Natsu doesn't satisfy you in bed anymore; does he? That why you suddenly agreed to go out with me; a desperate need?" And just for emphasis, he licks his lips._

 _5 minutes later she's outside of the club, hands shaking as she power walks as fast as she can back in the direction of the university._

 _A laugh bubbles up the more she escapes into the night, the warm air relieving._

 _Natsu doesn't even question her tight black skirt and too short pink tank top when she shows up at his place to request staying the night._

" _What did you do?" Natsu asks. His fingers tug her blonde locks out of her ponytail as she tosses herself into his sheets._

 _Lucy just shook her head, burying herself deeper rather than face more humiliation._

 _There's a distinct cry in between her fit of nervous giggles._

" _I threw my drink at him and kicked him hard enough that I'm sure he can't reproduce now." Lucy eventually responds, turning back over to look at him._

 _Natsu smirks, just imagining the look upon Roy's face of heated rage and shock at her actions._

" _So…no way we're going to be able to get information from him now; huh?" He guesses._

 _An uneasy grin etches onto her face then, shaking her head._

" _No, he wants to go out with me even more now, knowing how cold and harsh I can be."_

 _Just like him._

It was part of the reason she knew her insomnia was acting at its worse.

"I'm with you." Natsu whispers by her ear, squeezing her shoulder affectionately to break her from her thoughts. He walks her as far the front entrance before turning to go.

Lucy arched a brow, smirk crossing her face. "What? No excuses to break into my room or be my sleeping buddy?"

Natsu chuckled, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Not tonight! We'll celebrate all that and _**more**_ after finals are over."

Her face heats and a small shiver races down her spine at the flicker of lust in his gaze.

She hopes he keeps his promise to study a bit too, they _**both**_ need to get through the last days of this semester without any more brawls or problems.

A sharp ache in her head keeps her from dwelling on it for too long.

So instead she pushes the thought aside, tomorrow is her hardest final after all: Biology. It would cover all the formulas, theorists, and even a mix of chemistry and physics questions thrown in for good measure based on the exam syllabus every student had been giving.

Weeks' worth of studying until her brain feels numb having been leading up to this day.

"You can do this Lucy!" She boasts to her reflection as she steps out of the shower to wash away the nerves in her stomach; despite seeing red rims in her irises and fatigue in her smile.

Even more frightening though is her scar as she moves to pat her face and neck dry.

It's gotten even bigger.

-X-

"Relax Lucy, you've already refreshed the page five times already!" Levy repeats over her shoulder once more.

All her grades have been put in for the semester…all except one.

Of course her biology professor decides to be late.

"He said grades would be up by 6:00 o clock. It's now 6:03!" Lucy gripes back, but Levy swerves her hand away from the mouse before she decides to click on the refresh key for the sixth time.

"I'm sure you did fine on it; you studied your butt off for it after all! Besides, we both know they have until midnight to have all assignments, exams, quizzes, and what not put in." Levy soothes, pulling her chair back from the computer.

As soon as her back is turned though she scooches right up to her laptop again.

Turns out, eight time is the charm.

The knots in her stomach instantly unloosen as she sees her score: 88. Not exactly the score she was going for but good enough to keep her GPA from dropping. A quick clattering with her calculator shows her GPA has stayed relatively the same at the end of the day.

Levy rolls her eyes playfully, closing down her laptop fully. "See, nothing to worry about! I would be more concerned about Natsu and how he fared. You two _**do**_ plan to spend the summer together, right? No plans for summer school I hope with all the stress this semester has put you through already."

Lucy huffed, feeling her face grow hot. "No…Natsu talked me out of that option though unlike him, I can't be happy with making C's and B's as my final results."

They giggled, both knowing Gajeel was probably the same way.

' _Still though, my grades weren't the only thing I was worried about.'_

She only had one day left to prepare.

Roy had sourly reminded her; texting to meet him at 9:00 in the casino's main lobby tomorrow…

He knew she had seen the message even without her responding, promising he wouldn't be late for _**this**_ meeting unlike in the past.

' _I doubt that.'_ And subconsciously, she scowled.

"We should celebrate! Let's call up Juvia and Erza; we can all go out for drinks at that new club/casino everyone's been raving about lately." Levy hummed, flicking her fingers through her cerulean locks giddily.

Auburn eyes sharpened back to her, a painful twinge of knowing in her gut.

"What?" She barely whispered.

Levy doesn't seem to hear her, hazel eyes sparkling as she rambles. "Come on, I'm sure you've heard of it too: Magnolia Palace and Casino! I've seen all the pictures they've posted of events; golden chandeliers, colorful slot machines, it's like something right out of an action movie!"

Lucy swallowed the knot in her throat because no, no, no the _**last**_ place she wants to be seen is there.

"W-When did you want to go?" Lucy breathes, attempting to keep her voice as steady as possible.

Levy shrugs, returning to her side of the room as she fished through her closet.

"How about tonight? _**You**_ can't use the excuse you need to study, when all your tests are said and done now." She mused with added emphasis.

Great; her worst fear.

She peered outside, the sun didn't set till late now in days and the weather seemed to tease her with the sky free of clouds; just a mix of orange and red hues typical of the evening hours.

Levy is already tossing dresses onto her bed when she looks back at her, humming along to different songs.

She's serious.

Levy, who she knew always preferred staying in to read a good book to even going out to the movies actually _**wanted**_ to go out for a night of debauchery and partying?

' _This must be Gajeel's fault.'_ Lucy concluded bitterly.

He had said she was a lightweight the other day at dinner, too sweet and innocent to do anything considered remotely 'bad' in his words…

" _Shorty, it's not my fault you don't look your age! You're height and personality don't scream I'm over 21 or that you're into all that cliché drinking, partying, or smoking!" Gajeel teased, nudging her playfully._

 _Levy scowled, not returning the gesture._

 _This dinner was quickly becoming awkward._

" _You didn't have to rub it in by saying people wonder if I'm even 18 when we go out! We both know it's_ _ **you**_ _that looks too 'old' to even still be considered a college student with all those piercings!" She snapped._

 _Gajeel frowned, tapping his metal earrings with a low growl. "You didn't complain about them_ _ **last night**_ …"

 _Lucy played with her now cold pasta, gesturing to Natsu they should slip away. The dining hall was relatively empty anyways, she was sure the duo wouldn't notice their disappearance._

 _Natsu shook his head, smirk growing as their insults grew wilder and bizarre. "Hold on Lucy, you never know if some of this could be used for good blackmail!"_

So too bad for her now, Gajeel just _ **had**_ put his foot in his mouth teetering too closely to a sour subject for her. This wasn't just a spur of the moment thought for her…

It was payback.

"I don't like to drink or gamble though and neither do you!" She refutes, searching her mind for any excuse. Her toes squirm within her socks at Levy's arch of a brow.

No good excuse is coming to mind.

"Come on Luce; I know you've been looking for the perfect excuse to wear that pink sundress you bought the other day! We need this girl's night out after the weeks of stress studying and heart pounding waiting on final results."

Her silence says it all and Levy gleefully returns to staring between a black halter dress or a V neck tank top and skirt.

Either one will send Gajeel flying into frenzy. She pictures for a moment his scarlet eyes darkening seeing her flirt with another guy…

And her whole body warms at the image of Natsu's envy.

"Can we at least invite the guys?" She suggests hopefully as she leans back into her pillows, halfway already knowing it's futile to ask.

Levy snorts, shaking her head as she pulls out her phone to commence on some group texting.

"Who says they even have to know about us going out?"

-X-

' _I'm lost.'_ Lucy frowns, glancing every which way for her friends to no avail.

The casino is much more crowded than she expected it would be, large groups huddled around pool tables and lounge bars. She had figured the casino would only hold a bar and some of the typical gambling assortments, only to find it held restaurants, gentleman's rooms, and shows going on in all the directions she looked.

Her stomach burns from the earlier liquor Erza had pushed her way, encouraging her to let 'loose' and forget her worries…

Oh, if only she could.

She catches a glimpse of her crimson hair swaying with the beat of the music overhead at the slots, fetching for another bellboy to get her another drink. She gulped at seeing her flushed expression, watching as she angrily berated the slow service to everyone within hearing distance.

' _Oh geez.'_

"Where's Juvia and Levy?" Lucy questions as she gets closer, thankful for a break in the pounding disco rhythm to gather her thoughts.

Erza looked her up and down before shrugging with a laugh, mood light and bubbly again.

"Don't know! Haven't seen either since we first entered!"

She swerved back in her chair towards the slot, cranking the lever down and scowling when she nearly hit all 7s.

Lucy frowned with a sigh, she was going to be no help for the rest of the night.

Glancing upstairs, she caught the brief sight of blue hair weaving through the crowds. That _**had**_ to be one of them.

"Excuse me, pardon me." She mumbled, pushing through rows of people to get upstairs quickly before she lost her view.

Only to freeze up as she saw a familiar figure in the corner of her eye.

' _Roy?'_

Her heart immediately went into overdrive, the burning sensation that had settled in her stomach turning into a fire.

Why was he here? She was sure they'd agreed to Saturday night, not Friday.

Unless…

' _Calm down, calm down! He can't know you're here. You'll risk your friends getting hurt!'_ She quickly reminded herself.

And the erratic beating of her heart cools, breathe settling into short pants.

Despite wanting to continue her search for Juvia and Levy, curiosity grips at her. Peeking around the corner, she watched as Roy brushed a hand through his ebony locks, grinning down at the petite figure beside him.

Ugh, he was in 'flirtation' mode.

And whatever poor sucker he was trying to reel in was falling for it.

Until she heard the girlish squeal of laughter and restrained back the urge to scream.

' _Damn it!'_

Because a double take makes her see that yes indeed, said laugh came from Levy. Drunk and unknowing of the danger she's in.

Lucy trailed her eyes to his tight-fitting jeans, the sparkle of a white powder barely protruding from his pocket. She bit her lip in realization, feeling foolish for not figuring it out earlier.

He could profit off of people's inhibitions here. Selling drugs became much more lucrative when people were already out looking to have a good time with friends, drinking, gambling, and of course: sex.

The scar on her neck twinges as she watched the scene carefully to plan out her next move, anger festers and the noises and people in the room seem to fall away as she directs all her focus on him.

"You picked the wrong person to try your moves on." She growled under her breathe, not realizing how dark she sounds…

How cold.

A hand tugs her back just as she takes a step forward and she curses aloud before biting into the offending hand. The taste of blood invading her mouth and nostrils seems to only make her wilder.

"Get your fucking arm off of me!" She hissed.

The man only laughed, squeezing her closer much to her frustration.

"That's quite the naughty mouth you have on you Luce! Hope you aren't picking up _**all**_ of my bad habits now." Natsu teased, gazing down at her with a grin.

-X-

Lucy has the decency to blush.

Natsu has the decency to stop laughing before she pummels him.

"What…what are you doing here?" Lucy is the first to break the silence. He's dragged them away before they ended up causing a scene down to a dimly lit corner by some empty restrooms. Natsu pushed a water bottle into her hands and she quickly downs the container to wash the metallic tang away.

"You didn't answer my texts or calls; I got worried something had happened when you weren't in your dorm room either." He replies.

Lucy narrowed her eyes at his distinct looking away, there was something he wasn't telling her…

"Okay, who blabbed?"

Natsu smiled sheepishly, cheeks reddening slightly. "I bribed Gray to tell me where you guys were going to be. I knew Juvia couldn't keep a secret from _**him**_ after all. She's been hanging around him by the card tables all night."

For the first time then, she notices he actually used the hair dye. Salmon locks now black as the night. If it weren't for his typical grin and recognizable scent, she may not have realized it was him.

Still, they had just left Levy!

She hurriedly stood from her crouching position, ignoring the rise of bile that threatened to come up with the action.

"Come on, we have to get back to Levy! We don't know what Roy might do to her and-"She paused as Natsu just smiled and shook his head.

"Luce, didn't you hear me? I didn't come here _**alone**_."

And not even seconds later do they both hear Gajeel's distinct shouting for people to clear a path for him.

"Shorty, what the HELL are you doing?!" Gajeel snapped.

Levy huffed, blinking before looking away from him. "What do you think it looks like? I'm having fun without you and doing all the things only 'adults' can do!"

He lifted her up then despite her protests, scowling at the crowd as they quickly scattered.

"We'll see about that. I'll show you some real _**fun.**_ "

"Even butcher knows when to back down, right?" He chuckled, watching as Roy slinked away from the pair's bickering.

Lucy warily nodded, already knowing how things would end as she saw Levy divulge into a flustered rage at whatever Gajeel whispered in her ears.

Things would be normal between the pair before the end of the night she was sure.

Natsu wrapped an arm around her, turning her back to face him. His smirk had softened, laughing gently at her red face.

"Speaking of having fun…"

Natsu's lips taste of burnt roast and peppers and she sighs, leaning into his warmth. His fingers reach and relax towards the center of her back, rubbing soothing circles dangerously close to the clasp of her bra…

"Feeling better?" He murmurs by her ear when they eventually break away for air.

And all she can manage is a dazed nod, afraid speaking will out make her spout out a jumbled bunch of gibberish.

She curled one hand against the edge of his hair, leaning into his chest.

"Should we keep tracking him?" Lucy breathes into his chest.

She can feel Natsu press his chin lightly into her head, shaking his head.

"Let's avoid any more fights tonight if possible."

Lucy clicked her tongue. "Now, _**that's**_ a strange remark coming from you."

Natsu wrinkled his nose, purposely messing up the curls she worked on so hard to prepare for tonight.

"Shut it."

Neither noticed Roy watching them carefully, now downstairs as he fished for his phone from his pocket. He gritted his teeth at a perfect deal being interrupted, but at least he had some news he could provide.

He walked away from the booming music, leaning against one of the marble walls as his phone's ringing became clearer.

"Hey, just wanted to let you know I got only a few people hooked on your new drug. Most people already have dealers they use around her though…anyways saw your little brother here with his girlfriend. We aren't supposed to meet until tomorrow, but…" He trailed off.

Zeref sighed, Roy never fully cooperated with him; always wanting to do things his own way to scheme his way to getting over him.

' _He doesn't know how fast he can be disposed of.'_

Still he feigned interest at the news, only sitting up to listen more when he mentioned Lucy first having come without Natsu anywhere nearby.

From their brief chats, he already knew she had sleep problems…

A small smile etched onto his face.

He could get to her first then. Alone.

-x-

 _I don't know why, but I found this chapter especially difficult to write. Perhaps it's because of stress I've had at work lately. Though, I always find writing a good way to relax so I do feel a bit less on edge, but I am curious to people's thoughts so please give me any thoughts/suggestions if you have them! Thanks as always for reading! :)_

 _Enjoy! Review. Favorite. Follow!_


	17. Curiosity

**Chapter 17: Curiosity**

She imagines for a brief second she's just seeing things.

Because surely _**he's**_ not here; he can't be.

But when she does a double take, she realizes it's not her eyes simply playing tricks on her or the buzz of alcohol coursing through her veins.

Zeref really _**is**_ watching her from across the room.

"Natsu, are you seeing this?!" She hisses quickly, searching every which way for him.

And then she finds his trademark pink hair in the crowd, wading through the buffet lines eagerly with eyes lit up like he's just hit the jackpot.

For not the first time, she curses his obsessive love of food.

When she turns back to look in Zeref's direction, he's no longer there.

A sinking feeling creeps into the pit of her stomach.

"Natsu, I saw him!" Lucy speaks in a rush, joining him in line hurriedly. She nearly topples the piles of meats, pastas, breads, and other assortments he's building up as he sends her a confused look.

"Whoa Luce, speak one word at a time! Who did you see?" He questions.

Lucy shakes her head, auburn eyes flitting every which way anxiously. Her voice comes out again, softer and subdued out of fear _**anyone**_ now is listening in.

"Your brother."

It's all she needs to say.

Dark eyes sharpen in alert, forgetting about his food as he wrapped an arm around her. Crowds swarm past them and they quickly move out of line at the annoyed looks there getting.

"Stay close to me."

Lucy nods, sucking in a breath. "Of course."

Neither can focus on any other activities for the rest of the night. Streaming lights of shows starting and ending and the glittering sparkles of coins being dished out every which way don't faze them from inspecting each person that passes a bit too close, looks at them a bit too long, or even accidentally bumps into them walking by.

"You too look miserable; I thought this was a night out to celebrate the beginning of summer, not the _**end**_ of it." Gray remarks when they take a break from their searching to rest their feet.

Juvia looks up from her plate, nearly finished with a platter of fruits she had been eating. Her cheeks have already taken on a pinkish hue and even sitting two seats away, Lucy can smell the alcohol on her friend's breath.

"Gray! You promised Juvia that this was going to be private spot for only us! How did Natsu and Lucy find out?!" She sputtered, tears beginning to brim in her eyes.

Of course, privacy can't exist when so many people are huddled together at this one particular bar.

Natsu snickered as Gray's failed attempts to comfort her, wailing only becoming louder as she dramatically recalled how lovely things were going until they showed up. Juvia was known to become weepy as soon as liquor hit her system and tonight is no different.

"Speak for yourself frosty; you're looking pretty miserable now too."

"Shut it flame breath, at least _**we**_ know how to have fun."

Natsu arched a brow, grin increasing. "That's a horrible comeback; even for you."

Lucy nudged him to be quiet, the last thing anybody in their group needed right now was more fighting. Especially not when alcohol was only adding fuel to their anger and listlessness.

Her head began to dully throb again, somehow through the booming of the music she can hear Natsu suggest they get something to eat and leave the two be.

"We can focus better that way, I'm sure you haven't eaten in hours." He comments.

As if on cue, her stomach gurgles in agreement with his.

So it may be just their bodies talking more than them at this point, but she agrees nonetheless.

The food at Magnolia's Express Plaza, specifically themed towards the gold showcased around the casino truly _**is**_ just as good as it looked from every magazine and online article she's read about the venue.

Desserts are drizzled with chocolate creams, every meat dish is garnished with spices and herbs circling the plate, and she's never even tried edible gold leaves despite the bitter memories of her father only wanting to them eat the 'highest grade' of food all of Fiore had to offer.

It was back when her mother had been alive.

Doting on the two of them constantly, he only wanted the best for them without a care for the cost. Business was booming, his stocks and investments were thriving…

If only Layla hadn't gotten ill.

Because up until then, suddenly money came before his family.

And with it the restless nights began.

"Luce, you should try this soufflé thing they have out, it's not every day we get to splurge like this!" Natsu calls out to her, bringing her back to reality.

She sits up as Natsu passes his fork for her to try the dish, a warm, soft texture of vanilla and strawberries coats her tongue and she beams with a giggle.

His eyes flicker at seeing her expression, leaning his head against his palm.

"If I could see your face light up like that, I would cook for you every day." He hums, knowing a blush will heat her face soon.

Lucy waves him off, biting her lip when one of his hands reaches out to rub so so achingly the side of her thigh.

"Forget it; stick to your simple sandwiches and take-outs. We both know you would just burn the apartment down; then where would you and Gray live?"

Natsu snorts, lips curving slightly. "Well, who the hell cares where Gray would go, but I know I would just come stay with _**you**_."

Okay so she had walked right into that one.

The banter of flirting and Natsu's hands 'playing' near the edge of her skirt is broken though when he announces he's going to go take a quick leak.

Lucy wrinkled her nose, feigning disgust. "You don't need to tell me what bodily functions you're off to go do!"

But Natsu ignores it, pressing a quick kiss to her palm that makes familiar goosebumps prickle her skin.

"Don't go anywhere." He states seriously.

Lucy nods, beckoning him to go already. He should have gone to the bathroom earlier when the Gajeel and Levy incident was happening.

It only takes around 10 seconds…

10 seconds after Natsu is gone into the hordes of people moving about all over place, Zeref reappears; like a magician returning back from his grand escape.

Except there is no cheering.

Just a gaping mouth and a look of surprise.

Her whole body freezes as he picks his way through the crowd, muttering to the waiter at the entrance. Her last line of defense from blocking him to get inside the restaurant.

Whatever he hold him is enough to convince to let him inside, slipping him the tiniest envelope in a 'blink and you'll miss it' type of way.

Zeref is dressed like he just came from a gala or other type of high end event, crisp black jacket and tie matching with his pristine white shirt. His smell reminds him of Natsu in a strange sense, same scent of fresh smoke and earthy textures of grass and dirt.

Minus the comfort.

Everything about him as she looks at him screams out blackness and ash, an unspoken reminder of what he's done to those in the past few days already.

He takes Natsu's seat as if she had been waiting for him all along. Her fingers instantly grow clammy and she's sure the acidic taste crawling up her throat now is bile.

There's nowhere to run at this point.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person Ms. Heartfilia. I hope I'm not interrupting your evening out with your friends. How are you?" He smiles gently.

Lucy grits her teeth, teetering dangerously on _ **really**_ getting kicked out of here for assault.

Even if that crazed idea will ruin everyone else's evening.

To her disgust, his gaze narrows. Studying her like she's some lab rat in a carefully controlled science lab.

And maybe she is when his stare moves towards the scar on her neck, muttering something about how quick progress is going.

"Just fine."

The last thing she expected out of this night was to be having a forced casual conversation with Natsu's brother, particularly considering he was the cause of so much frustration and bitterness in both of their lives.

But if he wished to pretend for now that everything was fine, then she would just have to play along too.

-X-

"The changes are already happening within you." Zeref states casually.

Lucy stiffens, taking a sip from her water. It does nothing to stop the growing lump in her throat.

"What do you mean?"

A cold grin passed over his features. "Don't play dumb; Natsu I'm sure has even noticed it as well."

"Noticed what?" A harsh voice snaps above them.

His tone does nothing to faze him, if anything Zeref just smiles even more.

"Lucy's scar of course. The way it's growing, the abrupt mood swings. A transformation is happening to her and _**you're**_ part of the reason why."

Red flashed in his eyes, fists balling. "What are you talking about?"

Zeref points to fellow patrons eyeing them in a mix of curiosity and fear, tensions are rising too high for people to not get nervous.

Natsu unclenches his hands, keeping his gaze on him.

"You and Lucy have been affectionate, right? You probably passed something to her during one of those 'sessions'. I never thought something like this would happen though…it's interesting to say the least." Zeref continued.

Lucy peered between the two of them, trying to properly gather her voice.

"Do you…do you know how to stop this?"

Zeref shrugged, not helping the situation. "I can always study more into it."

Natsu crossed his arms, already knowing where he was going with this.

"But there's a catch to it, right?" He sneered.

Zeref nodding, smirk returning. "It would mean I would need to investigate and do some lab work ups. I'm sure I could find an answer behind it all, but I would need samples from you both to-"

"No!" They both snapped in unison.

There's an emptiness in his gaze then, voice dropping lower.

"Well besides that then, I'm curious about something else. Lucy, you've been having insomnia problems over the past couple of months, haven't you?"

Her stomach instantly began to churn, how did he know that?

Had Roy told him? She couldn't put it past him that he had slipped Zeref information for his own benefit. Or had her father been crazy enough to let such a thing slip out?

"Why do you want to know?" Lucy instead asked.

Zeref sat up straighter. "Because I can help you with said problem."

' _Don't believe it.'_ Her mind instantly warned.

Too many times had she believed in medications, sleep aids, herbs...all of it only helped temporarily and she was sure anything he had to offer her would be the same.

Or worse.

They watched as he reached into his pocket, fiddling for something before he pulled out his card.

Natsu pushed his hand away when he reached it out to her, stare darkening. "Don't even _**think**_ about it."

Zeref tapped a finger against the table, growing bored as he sat up. Nothing would be done with Natsu this close.

Corruption can only work when he's with a client alone.

And telling by Lucy's antsy behavior, that time would come eventually.

"You can't protect her from everything little brother."

He leaves his card on the table as he goes, a plain white card with simple gold lettering.

Dr. Dragneel, pharmaceuticals.

The rest of dinner is painfully quiet, everything now tasting cold and bland in the minutes that have passed.

Natsu grumpily shifts his fork along his plate, screeching noise irritating those around them until they hurriedly turn away at one look of his stare.

"Natsu, relax. He's gone now." Lucy whispers, reaching out to squeeze his hand under the table.

It's hot to the touch, like he's just touched fire and she resists the urge to pull away.

Because eventually, he squeezes her hand back and sends her a small grin.

While he's watching the ongoing shows around them, Lucy flips Zeref's card over. Her breathing stills at realizing he's written a message on the back, perhaps only for her to see.

' _Think about what I said.'_

-X-

"And I want to go to the beach, check out that new shopping mall, visit the spa/salon-"Levy raved off, giddily zipping up another bag.

Lucy laughed, hovering over her from her bed. It feels like the casino night they had was months ago the way Levy is sputtering out ideas. "Finish packing up all your bags first before you go listing off your plans for the summer!"

The weather matches a perfect beginning for the holiday season, humid with plenty of sun to bask in. Most of the university students have already cleared out their belongings or left behind what they'll still need come the fall, stragglers like them though have spent the past two days helping Fairy Tail box up everything.

Levy nudged her has she plopped down next to her in bed, hazel eyes sparkling.

"So…you still haven't told me what you and Natsu plan to do! I absolutely won't let you spend the whole summer locked in doors reading."

The mention of Natsu making good of his promise to 'celebrate' passing makes her whole face tinge red and Levy snickers knowingly.

Though he had been in a much happier mood to do all that more _**before**_ the whole Zeref fiasco had occurred.

He still gave her feverish kisses, held her close through the nights, and made his same teasing jokes about his body…

But she knew he was distracted, especially so when he found she kept Zeref's card.

None of her friends seem to notice the signs thankfully, this wedge in their relationship all caused by a single card.

" _You won't go to him, right?" He asks again, pacing back and forth beside her._

 _Lucy nods, shifting to wrap him into the blankets with her. Amid their tossing and turning, she forces him to face him, looking him straight in the eye._

" _You know I won't."_

 _His eyes have taken on their familiar inhumane shine, glowing in the moonlight that crosses over his bed._

 _They both know Zeref is perhaps the cause of such a thing, even now one of the drugs he's created is probably falling into the hands of his next client who knows no better of what happens when crossing his path._

" _Aren't you worried?" He grunts, brushing a hand through his fuchsia locks in frustration. Transforming into some beastly creature overnight isn't exactly in their plans for school and graduating after all._

" _Of course I am." Lucy whispers, pressing closer to him. When she's this near to him, he can hear the rise of the thumping in her heart and truly realizes just how afraid she is._

 _His lips move to pepper kisses along the curve of her neck, hands thumbing and brushing against her hardening nipples._

" _Don't think about it anymore; not for the rest of tonight." He murmurs, positioning her below him._

 _Clothes shed and once again they bare everything for each other. His lips and fingers wander into her nether regions and she bites her tongue to fight a moan coming out, bucking wildly into him._

" _Lucy, I want to hear you." He growls, stopping his ministrations for the briefest of seconds, smiling into her neck when she lets out a long sigh. Her body turns instead to keep him in place and he tumbles out a low curse before his thrusting picks up again._

 _He grips her tightly through his release as she joins him soon after, sweaty and spent basking in the afterglow of lovemaking._

 _Her body aches to join him in sleep, nuzzling into him as he pulls the thin sheet of his cover over them._

" _Come on, go to sleep brain; Natsu's tired, you're tired; hell my whole body is tired! There's no school to stress about now; no excuses at keeping me awake." Lucy hissed to herself._

 _But her mind as usual disagrees, keeping her awake another hour._

 _And hauntingly, annoyingly her eyes keep moving back to Zeref's card still within in the depths of her bag. Finally, she gets up and reaches for it._

 _The card barely fits into the palm of her hand, light and smooth._

 _Fleetingly, her mind drifts through the pros and cons of calling the number before she quickly realizes there's far more cons to the pros of believing in Zeref._

' _So get rid of it.' Her thoughts snap._

 _The microwave clock shows its 3:38 am. The green numbers are about the only light she has in the darkness of the kitchen._

 _Until the blue flame of the stove sparks up._

" _Ouch!" Lucy hissed quietly under her breathe, ember hitting the tips of her fingers as the card went from a plain white to a goopy black ash in seconds._

" _What are you doing?" A sleepy voice asks behind her._

 _Natsu shouldn't be this much of a light sleeper. Able to sleep through the blaring of her alarms in the morning and yet awake as soon as she tiptoed out of his bed._

" _Burning it away." Lucy responds, shifting the ash over and over again until there's practically nothing left._

" _What? Zeref's card?" Natsu questions, the tiredness of his voice seems suddenly gone. Firm and serious as if he had never been in a deep sleep minutes ago._

 _And Lucy stiffens, biting her lip; he knew what she was doing._

 _What she_ _ **had**_ _been thinking of doing…_

 _She can feel him wrapping an arm around her, pulling her back from the heat._

" _You don't need him Lucy; you're much stronger than Zeref thinks."_

 _With a shaky nod, she agrees, the smoky aroma burns at her eyes and throat as she shifts the pieces into the trash._

 _If that were true, why had she been tempted?_

"Lucy, did you hear me?" Levy's voice brings her back to reality and she hums quietly, blinking as she shook her head sheepishly.

"Sorry, thoughts have been all over the place lately. It's hard to believe summer is actually here!"

The excuse works luckily.

Levy huffed, but smiled quickly once more. "Well, don't forget we're meeting up with the guys later on for that party Erza invited us to. I'm sure you won't be all absentminded then!"

"No, I suppose not." She smiled nervously.

She's currently running on only barely 5 hours of sleep, stressed worrying over Natsu, her dad's calls of when she'll visit again now that she's off, and the straining lack of sleep.

Levy begins folding her clothes up and she moves to help her.

Anything to get her mind off where her current thoughts are going.

-X-

"Have you been getting enough sleep?" Jude asks when she finally gets back to him after so many missed or ignored texts and calls.

Lucy cracked a wry grin. "Well, hello to you too dad."

Jude frowned, it's the first time Lucy's decided to pick up the phone in days and already he's starting things off terribly.

"You know I don't mean it like that. Have you been having trouble again sleeping again? There's bags underneath your eyes…like you've been out partying every night or something. " He questions.

Since when has been so good at reading her? Knowing that she's trying to avoid a painful issue.

It hurts that he isn't too far off from the truth; partying _**is**_ a good escape…

Every night this week, Juvia, Levy, or even Erza whisk her away to some event that's going on. Natsu sometimes comes along too, but more so it feels like as a bodyguard than as a friend wanting to mingle.

"I'm fine dad, just wanted to let you to know I'm still alive." Lucy remarked.

He wrinkles his nose, a clear sign he's about to go into lecture mode.

"Listen to me Lucy, be careful of Zeref. He's…he's always looking for new clientele and you fit the bill perfectly."

Lucy snorted, but nodded along. "Dad, we've been over this already."

"I know, I know! I made a mistake interacting with him once, so please don't fall into the same traps I did! He can get back at me through you if he saw it as an opportunity, I'm sure he already knows your name and face by know."

His tone holds an edge of seriousness she's never heard before in him. Quickly, she changes the topic to much brighter news, the passing of all her exams, plans for the summer, and classes she'll plan to take in the fall.

And surprisingly, Jude plays along discussing how the company and estate is faring.

Somehow, he gets her to promise to visit before the summer is over.

"Please take it easy. You were never this much of partygoer before college started." Jude mentions before he hangs up.

"I will." She responds quietly.

It's annoying to admit he's right.

She hangs up and texts Natsu right after she's on her way.

This is perhaps the fifth summer block party they're going to and Natsu's enthusiasm has waned after each one. Its graduation season still and this time it's somebody the two of them have only met in passing at a Fairy Tail meeting or two.

The splash of water is the first thing they hear as they turned the corner into the backyard.

And almost immediately, they take in the sight of beer games, dancing, and all-you-can-eat challenges.

Levy waves to them from a corner and Lucy eagerly maneuvers her way over to her with Natsu trailing behind.

It stays that way for a good while, Lucy sees an old friend, catches up with them a bit, watches a few people do an event (Cana coming out winner in the beer chugging challenge), then repeat again.

Through it all Natsu says very little, dark eyes shifting around in all directions every few minutes. His face all of tonight has been holding a perpetual frown more than his typical silly grin.

"Natsu, I know you're not enjoying yourself. Just go home if you want to." Lucy yells over a quick break in the blast of continuous music.

Natsu stubbornly shakes his head, gritting his teeth as another drunken partygoer bumps into him.

"Not while you're still here."

The night has barely started, sunlight managing to stay over the horizon making the sky a mix of dark blues and burnt orange.

Nearby, their fellow friends are grinding dangerously close to each other.

Doesn't seem like she'll be getting any of that action tonight though going by Natsu's mood.

"Fine, be a party pooper! I'm going to go get us some more appetizers!" She called back to him.

She doesn't even wait to hear his response, turning on her heels to head back inside. Too many people are lounging about and she carefully weaves her way through a mess of tossed beer and vomit. Honestly, it was only barely past 8:30 pm.

' _Kitchen, kitchen, where is the kitchen?"_

This is a stranger's home, a friend of Erza's, the home is more like a mansion than the simple 'backyard' party she was promised.

"We meet again." A voice croons by her ear and she shivers, jumping back.

Zeref must have more tabs on them she took into consideration. _**Somebody**_ was his mole…

"Aren't you too old to be at parties like this?"

He chuckled in response. "I go anywhere my business takes me, and parties like _**this**_ aren't going away anytime soon."

People don't seem to notice what he's saying, swaying to the beat of the music or passed out.

She winces, he knows she's alone at this moment, Natsu too far out of hearing range.

But before he can even say anything else, she does the first thing that comes to mind to get him away.

With a deep breath, she clenches her hand just as Natsu's taught her. The shakiness stops and fear is pushed to the back of her mind.

Because even _**he**_ doesn't see coming the sharp punch she delivers into his gut.

-x-

 _With Fairy Tail's manga ending soon I hope we get some definitive answers on all these couples. All these hints being thrown at me will hurt my heart if nothing happens lol. Anyways, did a lot of back and forth editing again with this chapter but I have ideas now that the gang is out of school for summer break like most people are around me._

 _Enjoy. Review. Favorite. Follow!_


	18. Difference

**Chapter 18: Difference**

"Oh, stop looking at me like that already!" Lucy gripes.

Natsu shakes his head and if possible, his crossed arms seem to tighten.

On all sides of them, a steady crowd is growing.

She watches Zeref from the corner of her eye, a nauseous feeling rising up at the rise of his cold smile.

It quickly slips away back into a pained grimace before anyone else notices.

Because to everybody standing next to them, it seems like _**he's**_ the innocent bystander and she's the one who attacked him out of the blue.

"What were you thinking?" Natsu hisses by her ear and Lucy huffs in response, blowing away strands of blonde hair falling into her face.

" _ **I**_ was thinking your brother was getting too close for comfort." She eventually replies.

They sit along the pavement outside of the party, the night air is uncomfortably hot and it only feels constricting with the flashes of blue and red flickering in the darkness.

Someone had called the police.

The Magnolia Police Department makes quick effort in dispersing the party, the underage have scattered and those too rowdy have been jailed for the night for disorderly conduct.

And at Natsu's harden stare she realizes she could have been one of them.

His gaze softens slowly, wrapping an arm around her to bring her close. "What did he do? Be honest with me Luce."

"Tempt me." She whispers, thinking of the same tiny pill that so many others had caved into before her.

She needs to do more research. Everything she's collected on him now up until this point just isn't enough suddenly; tonight had proven that much.

The voices of his previous clients come to mind, the woman whose hearts he had entranced and the men who had broken their stubbornness and looked to him for help.

How desperate had they'd been to have finally turned to him? How worse had things gotten for them _**after**_ he had 'helped'?

And then there were those people who saw him as good, the people who saw him as a prominent figure rising up in the medical community.

The opposite of the man she was accusing him to be.

Levy doesn't agree with her.

"Come on, don't let one bad party ruin the rest of summer! I'm sure he was just drunk, it would explain Natsu's crankiness as well. I'm not going to let you spend your days wasting away in the library again!"

But her words are just getting tuned out.

Gajeel stops her before she breaks into a furious outburst. She peeks at her from the corner of her eye, wincing at her flushed cheeks and frazzled blue locks.

' _No, he wasn't drunk.'_

Eyes like that, so clear and bright held no signs of being under any influence.

He had specifically been waiting for her, looking for her through the crowds and waiting for the chance when she would be alone…

"Let's go home." Natsu states, pulling her close again.

Moonlight seeps over his figure, the anger in his face is gone as he stares at her with a familiar warmth that makes her forget for a moment the hateful looks she's continuing to get.

A build up murmurs rise up as they move to stand, she clings to Natsu's shirt a bit tighter.

"Ruined our whole night…I bet she just couldn't tolerate her liquor. Didn't have to take things so far, is she the one who called the cops…?" People whisper much too loud and it feels like her legs will buckle in on her any minute.

To the distance, she catches the rest of her friends' concerned looks. Juvia looks absolutely teary, fists wound tightly together as they turn a shade of deep red, sniffling every now and then while Gray tries (and fails) to get her to relax. Erza immediately shuts up any more comments luckily, glare enough to get people to retreat back inside or elsewhere into the night.

' _I'm sorry.'_

Her night wasn't the only one that had been ruined.

But her throat constricts in on itself just as she tries to say the words.

It comes out instead as a whisper, something nobody can probably hear over the dying commotion.

Natsu seems to hear her though, grip feeling hotter.

-X-

' _I'm not alone.'_

She's known about online support groups before, discussions her father always shutdown as 'pointless' and 'unnecessary'.

" _Lucy, you don't need anything like that. Money is tight as it is. You haven't even tried the options I've given you; have you? This 'insomnia' you keep mentioning can't be as bad as you're saying it is. I think you're more just stressed over your grades slipping a bit. Stop worrying so much."_

 _He sounds like a broken record, repeating the same suggestions over and over._

 _Barely looking up from his paperwork, their eyes meet for a second before he sighs and turns away._

 _A restlessness swirls in her chest again, pursing her lips; she gulps and breathes in slowly._

 _Just like the maids taught her, don't ever show your anger in front of Mr. Heartfilia._

' _One, Two, Three, and Four…' She mentally counts._

 _It's not working like past encounters. Her anger is still festering, boiling up even faster now._

 _Because she's drank enough teas to keep her awake going to the bathroom back and forth more times than she would ever dare to admit aloud, going to bed early only makes her wake up again before the darkness is even gone, and exercising/reading just leave her with migraines once the sun rises up._

 _Jude doesn't know all that though or at least, he pretends not to see or hear it._

 _Something's changed in him since Layla's death…_

 _She shivers, the same niggling question returns to the forefront of her thoughts. The question she always pushes back by clenching her teeth and walking away._

 _But tonight, wound up in frustrations: It slips out._

" _Are you upset you couldn't save mom? That she has the same problems as me?"_

 _The booming of his hands abruptly slamming down on his desk echoes into the room, the calm façade in his expression drops. A hideous streak of red flashes in his eyes as he steps away from his desk towards her._

 _And all at once this jittery anger in her stomach snaps away, fear pouring out leaving her numb and still under his gaze._

 _He jabs a hard finger into her chest, making her stagger back._

" _You and Layla are_ _ **nothing**_ _alike."_

"What are you looking at?" Natsu breaks her from her trance, his head feels annoyingly heavy on her shoulder.

Her attempts to shove him off only make him snuggle in closer.

She should've lowered the brightness on her phone.

"Nothing, go back to sleep." She grumbles, reaching one hand back in an attempt to cover his eyes. It's hard to restrain back a smile at his muffled grunts until he briefly stops…

And then proceeds by licking her hand.

"Oh, you're so gross at times; you know that?!" She hisses, wiping his slobber back onto his shirt. It smells faintly of the pizza and soda he had hours before covered up with mint mouthwash.

Natsu only beams, leaning back into her.

"Says the one wearing _**my**_ shirt and sitting in _**my**_ room. I can't be that gross enough to you, huh?" He teases lowly in her ear.

She can feel her face heating up, shaking off his implications. Logging back into her phone, she can see a new question has popped up in the forum.

" _After two weeks on the combination of anti-anxiety and anti-depressant drugs prescribed to me by Dr. Zeref Dragneel, I started to feel better. I could sleep again and not feel like I was bogged down by the weight of the world for the first time in years. However, my body started to feel different before the end of week one. I know the instructions stated for me to take the medicine once a day before bed as needed, though it felt like I couldn't control myself. It was amazing, the rush my body got during those first few nights on the pills, like I could wake up and do anything…to all of a sudden it all crashing down on me. And…I just wanted that exhilaration back, to feel like my old self again; to feel alive."_ She read to herself.

Skimming, she reached the bottom where woman's question lay.

" _The effects didn't last that long, I remember scratching and peeling at my skin just waiting for his office door's to open some mornings. Am I the only one to experience something like this after going to him?"_

It sounded like a complete horror story, responses fluctuating that they too had gone through similar struggles to those questioning the validity of the claims.

But then the pictures come up, blisters and deep cuts peppering her skin a feverish mix of reds and purples.

Lucy blinked, hot tears sting at her eyes as she forces herself to look away.

"He's hurt a lot of people." Natsu mutters, voice somber and low.

"Yeah." She whispers in reply.

These strangers with the same issues as her, struggling quietly in the dark.

She'd find a way to get there voice heard again by Zeref, to fix this all…

Somehow.

-X-

"Want to go to the beach?"

She swears Levy's voice is far too cheery for 7 in the morning.

"Hmm, yesno." Lucy slurs from beneath a sandwich of Natsu's arms and pillows. His lips brush hers to get her to stop talking, muttering the sun is barely out and that she's hardly slept at all.

" _That's the third time you've gotten up." He breathes out, watching Lucy pace around before crawling back under the sheets._

" _I'm okay. I'm okay." Lucy repeats, but they both can see her hands shaking. Sweat mars her face she quickly attempts to wipe away with the back of her hand._

" _A nightmare?" He asks._

 _Lucy doesn't answer, pulling up the blankets over her head. Her heartbeat slows again as he rubs her back, frowning just as he turns the lights back off._

 _Her neck is so blotchy and red…_

 _She was scratching at her scar._

This doesn't seem to deter her friend though, moving on with the conversation.

"If not the beach, then we could go to the mall! Or even to the movies, you know you've been dying to see that suspense/action flick everyone was giving great reviews on in the newspaper club-"Levy's rambling now and Natsu soon gets tired of the chattering.

"Try again in an hour or so." He grunts out, sliding the phone away from Lucy's ear.

"You're bothering the lovers shrimp." Gajeel's laugh echoes in the background because great, they're both apparently early risers.

Brown eyes sleepily try to glare into his black.

"Give me back my phone, she had some good suggestions going there." Lucy murmurs, yawning midway through her reply.

Natsu rolled his eyes, smirking as he moved his hand out of her reach.

"Oh really? I didn't know 'yesno' was considered an answer, let alone even a word!" He muses, mimicking her garbled speech pattern.

She kicks his leg hard enough to slide him teetering towards the edge of the bed, turning back over in her sheets.

Happy swishes into the room at their commotion, meowing at Natsu's half on/half off the bed state. His blue fur sticks up in alert, cocking his head curiously.

"Oi, help me out here Happy!" Natsu states, gesturing to him with a hand.

"Meow?"

"Yeah, just push me up by shoulders before I crash into the floor." Natsu indicates, not ready to try and wake up Lucy again judging by her earlier reaction.

Happy patters closer, licking at his owner's hands instead. The bed creaks and he slides down even further.

"Happy, I got your breakfast of fish ready!" Gray beckons from somewhere downstairs.

He can practically hear the smirk in his tone, as if knowing his current plight.

And just like that he has Happy sauntering back from him, eagerly scampering from the room.

' _Betrayal!'_ Natsu scowls, the tile is irritably cold on his face.

"Woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, huh?" Gray notes at his surly appearance, pink hair in complete disarray.

Natsu ignores him, shoving another layer of eggs and toast into his mouth. "Why aren't you with Juvia?"

"She wanted to get ready to go to the beach later on." He simply replies.

"Oh, and did she forget you? That doesn't sound like her." Natsu teases, dodging the fork he sends his way.

Lucy parks herself between them minutes later, drowsy though much more alert at the smell of pancakes and syrup.

"Where is everybody off to for today?" She questions, drizzling a cup of blueberries onto her plate.

"The beach." Natsu answers, wondering if she'll even be in the mood to go.

Last night she was listless in her sleep, tossing and turning so much that it's a surprise to see her up before even noon.

Her smile hides any troubles from the night though, stretching her arms out cheerily as sunlight pours in through the kitchen's blinds.

"Sounds good to me! Though the weather calls for some rain this afternoon."

Gray stalks off to his room, probably to get ready to pick up Juvia while he watches Lucy guzzle down her juice.

She arches a brow at his behavior, why hasn't he moved on to his fifth piece of toast by now? Or a bowl of cereal to wash everything down?

"What?" Lucy huffs dramatically.

Natsu pauses, drumming his fingers against the wooden frame of the table.

"Nothing, I just thought you'd still be asleep. You barely got a few hours in last night."

Lucy shrugged, trying to ignore the clenching in her stomach at his worry. "My body's gotten used to it by now."

Natsu leans closer, still undeterred. "What about the others?"

Because now that she knew, truly saw what Zeref had done to others with similar cases as hers; he knows she won't sit still for long.

It's just not in her nature.

Her hunger is leaving her, the pancakes grow cold as she lets them slide into a puddle of drying syrup.

"I…I saw their faces in my dreams, and strangely…mom was there too." She whispers, voice scratchy.

He nods, remembering her mutterings throughout her haze of off and on sleep.

Lucy sucks in a breath, clearing the painful throbbing from her throat as best she can.

"There isn't much I can do at the moment, with how often he's away on business trips around Fiore however, I need to see Dad as soon as he returns which won't be until tomorrow perhaps." She explains.

"Your Dad?" Natsu inquires, thinking of the towering darker blonde who looked at him with such confusion and contempt during their surprising initial meeting.

He usually didn't leave such ugly impressions on people, at least not during _**first**_ encounters.

Lucy can tell he's puzzled, continuing on.

"I don't think he's been completely honest with me about the circumstances of Mom's death."

-X-

This was a bad idea.

They should've just gone straight to the Heartfilia mansion; Jude present or not. He wouldn't have minded waiting.

Hell, taking the train and dealing with an hour or two of stomach sickness was better than this.

Because he can only pretend for so long that he's not aroused seeing Lucy in her new fancy green floral two-piece, but most definitely _**NOT**_ pretend he's not getting more and more irritated by the other looks men give her…

He's seen those types of lustful stares thrown her way before, Loke and Roy both used to send her such lewd looks either with or without her knowledge.

And these men fit their personalities to a T.

Oh, if only setting fire in public places wasn't against the law! All the studies his fire science classes taught him could be put to such _**good**_ use right about now…

"Any flames you make would just be put out by the ocean pyro." Gray comments from his side, seeming to have read his thoughts.

"Shut up snow cone." He hisses, flicking his shaved ice at him.

It's bad enough the sun is unbearably hot, crinkling the sand what felt like hundreds of degrees warmer and a sea of blue up above indicates Lucy was clearly wrong about her weather predictions.

Juvia snickers from his side, scooting away when he shoots her a glare next. _**She**_ was the one who had suggested Lucy pick said outfit in the first place, hoping it would lead her and Natsu to go off on a little rendezvous somewhere private on the beach…

It was working, sort of.

"Juvia thinks you're just jealous of all the attention she's getting."

"Or he's just too afraid to put a stop it." Gajeel cackles from the opposite side. Levy quickly berates him to shut up, slamming the sunscreen onto his back a bit too forcefully.

And Lucy meanwhile swims off into the turquoise waters, breaking away from the men trailing as she points in his direction.

He must look like a madman because they quickly scramble off.

"You're impossible." She giggles when she comes up for air, sea salt sprays into his face and it's hard to stay mad at seeing her infectious grin.

"Yeah? You're the one who needs to cover up." He wrinkles his nose, tossing a towel over her when she moves to stand.

She flusters at his behavior that _**he's**_ never been modest when it comes to his body being on display or the stares both old and young woman alike have been passing at him too since they got here. Her own cheeks darken at taking in his form, realizing her mistake saying this aloud.

Natsu's already smirking.

"Oh, as long as you were just checking _**me**_ out Luce~!" He whistles.

And she knows she's not going to hear the end of this anytime soon.

Her phone is lighting up as they approach back to shore, Jude's name flashes across the screen and she quickens her pace to retrieve it.

He's left a voicemail.

' _I'll be back by 9 o clock tonight if you wish to talk.'_ She listens.

Natsu doesn't even need to ask if they'll be packing up now.

-X-

The Heartfilia mansion looks ominous at night.

Vinery creeps along the edges of the house, moonlight shining on silvery webs and patches of brown where the paint has chipped and become worn.

If she didn't know any better, she would've believed the house was abandoned.

"Do you still have your key?" Natsu asks, breaking her from her thoughts.

He looks just as uncomfortable as her, this image is not what he expected either.

' _What's happened to the home?'_

Where were the gardeners that kept the weeds from overgrowing? The painters who came every summer for as long as she could remember to add fresh coats of pristine whites and blues to the house? The maids to greet her?

Did father forget?

' _He's losing his fortunes. Maybe he spent up all on drugs.'_ A colder thought suggests delightfully that this is his punishment for not believing her all those times back then. That he has given into the lure of drugs.

She hurriedly pushes the mean thoughts away.

Jude always invested jewels wisely after all, he saved and let it grow overtime. He ran the Heartfilia enterprises on a strict and rigid schedule that shut out everything else from his life…

So why know did he look so different to her than he did just months ago?

He's grown his beard out, no longer crisp and clean shaven. His clothes no longer hold the same flair from the high end boutiques they used to shop at all the time, faded and torn at the edges.

But what worries her most of all is how much thinner he's seem to have gotten, even his scrutinizing glare doesn't hold the same weight to it when his cheeks seem so sunken…

So pale.

Jude stares long and hard between the pair when they wake him up, quickly gesturing for them to sit in the formal dining area while he makes them some tea.

"I didn't hear you come in. Must've dozed off." He chuckled over his shoulder.

"Dad, you don't have to…" Lucy starts trailing after him, but Jude shakes his head, smiling uneasily.

"You two just wait right here, I'll be right back."

He returns with two steaming mugs and a dusty album.

Pictures of the mansion back in its glory years come to life on each page, green grass smelling of pine and dew on her feet after a rainstorm as she dances with her mom, drawing silly pictures along the sidewalk during the spring…

"You really are her splitting image." Jude whispers, staring at a family photo taken in the courtyard. Her soft smile hides the aches ravaging her body. A toddler Lucy in her lap looks uncomfortable; stiff grin on as she fists the corners of the frilly dress.

Her eyes widen as she turns another page, Layla's hair has started to thin and it's then she notices the mark on her…

"You haven't been honest with me completely, have you dad?" Lucy whispers as she closes back the album.

He squirms, shaking his head.

"That scar you have, Layla had one like it too."

-x-

 _I've been neglecting this fic for too long, but the words flowed out much easier than I thought it would. I hope it catches you're interest at what will be next! Let me know your thoughts/suggestions and thanks for reading as always!_

 _Enjoy. Review. Favorite. Follow!_


	19. The Heartache Game

**Chapter 19: The Heartache Game**

"Were you ever going to tell me this?" Lucy whispers.

Her voice echoes into the silence of the room, swallowed up by the night.

Jude seems to sink back into his chair, squirming uncomfortably under her glare.

"Yes, eventually." He mumbled.

"But I had to be sure! I figured your scar came from well…you know the 'activities' you did with Natsu. It was only when you said it seemed like it was getting bigger and it wasn't really fading that did I start to think more of Layla."

"What does it mean though?" She mumbled, gritting her teeth at how unsure he sounds through this all.

Perhaps it's genetics, just a trait that's been passed down or something more?

Natsu reaches forth to squeeze at her hand and reluctantly her anger starts to fall apart.

Her father doesn't have all the answers she's seeking, that much she can see in his eyes.

And before either of them can say anything else, her feet propel her in the direction of her mother's old private study.

The sanctuary.

At least, that was the nickname her mother used for the corner, in reality it was just a makeshift library tucked away into the corner.

Moonlight seeps in from the rooftop, clear glass Layla vehemently fought with Jude for using during the construction phases of their home.

" _This way, I can look up to the stars while I'm reading to gather any new ideas." Layla asserts, pointing workers every which way._

 _Neither are fazed as laborers hurriedly rush past them with assortments of bricks, woods, and paint cans of practically every color the stores had available._

 _He can't take this place from her._

 _While he has his wide office spaces, gardens, and storage rooms for his collections, she'll have this._

 _Jude frowns, but gives in at her growing scowl. The last thing either of them need with so much company around is bad press…_

 _The way the Heartfilia Corporation looks comes first after all._

 _Always…_

 _Lucy shifts, peeking back around the corner when she swears Jude is about to look her way._

 _She's supposed to be with the maids right now having a 'tea party.' Far away on the opposite side of the mansion where she_ _ **won't**_ _definitely hear any of their whispering…_

 _Their arguing._

" _You're always thinking of the business, can't you put it on the back burner for just once in your life? To think about Lucy…or me? You didn't even remember her birthday…"_

 _Her voice has quickly gone from shrill with rage to a more subdued quiet. Now she knows she can't interrupt, nails scratching against the wall._

" _I should go. I should_ _ **really**_ _go." Lucy repeats softly to herself._

 _But her body feels frozen, keeping her in place as the anger in their voices die out, quieting to faint whispers of regrets and bottled frustrations._

" _I just don't get good sleep anymore Jude…not since this weird mark showed up. It feels like I don't even have my best friend to talk to about it." Layla murmurs._

 _And Jude winces, halfheartedly trying to reach for her only for Layla to move out of his grasp._

 _His hands are cold, goosebumps rise up her skin uncomfortably under his stare._

" _I'm trying." He hisses, scowling at her behavior._

" _In fact, I'm sure you'll get a good night's sleep soon dear. There are these new drugs on the market that I want you to try actually-"_

 _Lucy stepped back, one foot then the other._

 _Finally, her legs are breaking free of being stuck in place._

 _And they move her quickly back to the gardens, the area smells of freshly cut grass and the tea burns her tongue when she slurps it down much too fast._

 _The maids pay her no mind, nobody does…_

 _Just maybe her body chose the worst possible time to 'unthaw' in a sense…_

 _Because she too like her mother, has a fitful sleep that night._

It seems stuck in time as Lucy walks into this very room much the same as it was those many years ago, dust has gathered over her mother's favorite books, silvery threads of cobwebs gleam in the corners the light catches.

"Why would you have a scar to mom?" Lucy whispers, tracing her finger against an astrology through the ages textbook.

The pages are worn from being opened so many times, numerous pages dog-eared with notes scribbled in along the edges.

For a moment when she closes her eyes she can picture that one scene again, ghostly images of younger versions of her parents standing above said desk.

They blur and fade away as her mother stomps out of the room, scratching at her neck absently.

When she opens them again Natsu is hovering over her.

"You okay?"

She shakes her head, sighing.

"There's too much I don't know right now and not enough time."

Natsu grins, brushing back her hair so they can truly look at each other face to face.

"Oh, and did you forget? We have all the time in the world to find out the answers."

-X-

It's not even 2:00 am yet.

They've left her father's house hours ago, despite his encouraging of them to at least stay the night. (And risk Natsu seeing embarrassing childhood photos? No thank you!)

Alright so it's not the _**best**_ excuse, but it's the first one that comes to mind when Natsu asks why she's still up.

Why they're both up.

"When you said you wanted to research more of your mother's work, I didn't think it meant coming to the library tonight or even every day for the rest of the summer! This is soo boring!" Natsu gripes, already tired of surfing the web and playing every possible 'games to play while bored on his phone.'

Honestly, libraries shouldn't be open 24-7 like they're some convenience store.

Lucy barely looks up from her book, her eyes are becoming annoyingly heavy despite her stomach swishing with two cups of coffee and a third one to come soon if Natsu would just stop staring at her so heavily…

She should be used to his teasing by now, one hand coming to rest dangerously close on her thigh.

While the other boldly moves towards her top…

"No, I'm going to find a breakthrough in one of my answers before tonight is over!" She declares, swatting his hand away.

Natsu snorts, earning him a swift kick in his ankles. "It's already _**tomorrow**_ technically speaking. Geez, not only is this boring, but you're wasting all your time and energy into something useless."

The room went silent.

He winces as Lucy's eyes briefly widen, tears forming in the corners…

It sounds so painfully reminiscent of something her father or Loke would say…that all the efforts she spent towards reading, schoolwork, studying her mother's works and passions…

Useless; she would never compare.

' _And to hear it from Natsu.'_

"Lucy, I didn't mean it-"

But she swiftly cuts him off, tone cold and derisive.

"Go home then, I'll be fine without you and your sarcasm. _ **I**_ can get find information faster without your interruptions anyways." She hisses, flipping through to another page with scattered designs of the major planets and stars.

Faintly, she hears his chair screech in her ears and her stomach drops. But the words don't form to apologize, mouth feeling hot and dry and she pretends the subjects of the patterns of constellations is more interesting than Natsu walking away.

They both just need time to cool off; that's all.

' _Coward.'_

She couldn't even properly look his way to see the hurt in his expression. To at least whisper out a sorry…

And indeed when she finally looks in his direction at the sound of footsteps, he's already far away down the hall.

-X-

"He was being a jerk lately anyways, I say its fine that he walked off!" Levy pipes up again.

She appreciates her enthusiasm, but it just isn't working.

Not when her heart still twinges every time Natsu ignores her texts and now even her calls.

Maybe she had gone a bit overboard in her self-proclaimed 'mission' to find out the secrets her mother had been hiding…

But didn't he want to know as well?

This scar on her neck was throbbing more as of late, probably from all the sudden stress she was putting herself under. However, she still kept visiting her mother's study every evening, searching over her old notes for anything that could be connected.

That is until Levy dragged her away.

"You're missing out on summer if you spend all your days indoors!" Levy huffs, forcing her to clink their glasses together.

' _I have been losing out on a lot of Girl's Day outings.'_ She reminds herself.

"Juvia agrees, all that reading can't be good for your health!" Sipping at her soda gingerly.

And true, the sea breeze is relaxing after hours keeping her brain fried and glued to words she as of yet, still can't properly make sense of.

The aquamarine beach houses of Magnolia really were the perfect getaway she needed.

At least for a bit.

Blue-green waters danced around her feet, saltwater tickling at her nose as she submerged herself into a coming wave.

When she rises up again for a breath, the beach seems much further away.

' _The tide must've carried me!'_ She realizes, gritting her teeth as she started swimming back for shore. Juvia and Levy look like tiny blurbs from her distance, only able to recognize them by their trademark blue hairs. Sunlight beats down on her back, prickling her skin that she worries she'll look half-tanned or worse, a nasty red by the time the day is over.

Her whole body is yelling at her for her choice to swim by the time her feet touch sand again.

And Juvia and Levy don't seem to have noticed her plight.

"Guys, I just got pushed halfway out into the ocean and nobody noticed?!" She pouted, frowning.

The leftover water in her mouth made her sound _**far**_ less threatening as she coughed.

Levy sat up from her lounge chair, hazel eyes growing wide in worry. "What?! I thought you went beachcombing with Erza on the other side! Oh my goodness; are you okay?"

Lucy stepped back slightly, smiling as Levy hurriedly searched her for any signs of wounds or damage. She hadn't been attempting to make them feel guilty…

Juvia patted her shoulder gently, tossing aside her magazine back into her chair. "Juvia knows you can swim, so didn't worry about you drowning. Natsu isn't here to create trouble like stealing your bikini top or something; just relax!"

And great, just _**mentioning**_ Natsu's name had her cheeks starting to flare.

"W-What, I wasn't even thinking about him or something like that!"

Why did Juvia always have to jump to the weirdest conclusions?

Erza approached shortly later from the side, hands full of glimmering seashells and starfish.

Levy cooed in particular at a pair of deep red shells, pointing them up to Erza's ears.

"You could make earrings out of these, they match with your hair! Oh, I bet Jellal would love it!" She teased excitedly, laughing at her frantic shake of her head.

"N-No thanks! Besides, I heard _**Gajeel**_ is more into little trinkets like these." Smirking as the conversation did a complete 180 on her.

Lucy smiled off the side, ignoring the familiar ache coming back. The same annoying tightness in her chest she had gotten so many times before she and Natsu had even gotten together. How Loke had made her feel when he abandoned her for wild all night parties, only responding to her missed texts and calls hours later…

' _You're the third wheel again.'_ Bitter thoughts taunt her.

Because of course, inevitably the topic of the guys would come up.

She finds herself walking backwards towards her bag, digging for her phone among the cluttered mess of items she had haphazardly brought along for this two day trip.

"No, not the sunscreen, keys, or watch, dang it where did I put it?" Lucy muttered, pushing aside and zipping open pockets until she sees it.

The pink and white polka dot case of her phone.

Her stomach churns as she lights it up and types in the passcode, early before they left she had typed a simple message to Natsu saying she would be gone for the next two days with the girls in case he wondered where she was when he broke into her apartment.

' _Will be at Aquamarine Villas with Levy and the others, we should meet up afterwards when I get back!'_ She had read over that message probably ten times, deleting and rewriting it before finally working up the nerve to send it.

And for what?

Natsu hadn't even responded. No new or missed calls/texts she so desperately wished for…

"Are you still mad?" She whispered, swallowing the lump in her throat.

It didn't even have the hopeful message of read with a time mark underneath it, it was like she had just spoken to the wind.

Or an irritatingly stubborn wall with pink hair…

Queasiness in her gut made tears begin to gather in her eyes, her simple lunch of chicken tenders and fries now threatening to make a reappearance.

Faintly among passing guests she could hear her friends calling out for her. Wondering why she just disappeared on them.

They didn't need to worry about her, not about stupid problems like this…

So she hurriedly shut off her phone again, burying it back among her baggage as if it had never been checked.

What was happening to them?

-X-

"Isn't it about time you answered one of those texts or am I going to have to beat it out of you to stop being so mopey?" Gray suggested.

Natsu snorted, turning over on the sofa so he was no longer facing him. "As if a scrawny little Popsicle like _**you**_ could do anything to _**me**_."

"Seriously though, it's starting to get annoying how long you're dragging out your anger for bunny girl here. She's trying to apologize for ignoring you and then you do the same thing!" Gajeel added in.

Natsu only waved him off. As if he wanted love advice from the guy who used to be afraid/embarrassed to just hold his girlfriend's hand in public.

Although…

The one flashing and buzzing missed call and text on his phone was annoying.

And it bothered him even more that _**everyone**_ in the room knew Lucy's trademark jingle he had reserved only for her as soon as it rang out.

"So…are you going to answer it or not?" Gajeel asks again, grinning at the hint of red in his cheeks. No matter how much he buried his head.

' _Some things are unavoidable.'_ Natsu growls, sitting up and snatching his phone away as he dangled it right in front of him.

Geez, he was no better than Happy when they baited him with fish.

"If I hear anymore teasing by the time I come back, don't be surprised if some of your clothes end up burnt or 'missing'." Natsu gripes over his shoulder.

Their laughing only seems to grow louder in response.

' _Stupid Lucy, calling at the worse moment…'_

The messages showed she had called hours ago, it was late into the evening now; nightfall would be approaching soon telling by fading rays of pink and red in the sky. Warm air drifted over him, a relief from how much Gray enjoyed blasting the air conditioner despite it not even being that hot of a summer; at least in _ **his**_ opinion.

The most recent call though showed Lucy had left a voicemail; a little less than a minute.

' _Hey, I know I've been leaving a lot of messages heh, this is probably my fourth one maybe which I've unfortunately been keeping count of…'_ He listened.

Her voice sounded crackled, broken up the sound of people talking and the ocean waves.

' _So, I'm assuming you must be sleeping or out and about the city since you haven't answered my other messages or…you're still mad at me for all the time I've been spending in indoors reading and what not and if that's the case; Get. Over. It! You do plenty of stuff I find annoying too!'_

Well, now _**that**_ sounded more like the Lucy he was familiar with.

But then her voice grew quieter again, softer and his chest inevitably twisted with guilt.

This shattered meek tone of hers, _ **he**_ was surely the cause of it.

And he forced himself to listen through it all to the end.

' _Anyways, just wanted to let you know we're all doing safe here. It's kind of hard to leave a message while at the beach, but Levy insisted that I send some form of communication that I'm okay. Truth be told, I_ _ **was**_ _thinking of just sending you a picture of all these guys just mingling about._ (Natsu could feel his phone nearly snap just hearing that part and ideas ran though his head he would need to melt Lucy's pretty soon.) _But then I thought, it would only be just a lie._

His stomach lurched, pursing his lips.

' _After all, this whole day I've been thinking about you. The girls see it too, and you know what? It's really annoying how they can simply mention your name in passing and I get flustered! Though, we haven't been talking much lately so it's a bit awkward, I can understand why; I'm sorry I got so caught in my readings. As much I want answers, I know it's going to take time…'_

Her voice begins to trail off, people's conversations grow louder in the background and he curses at how difficult it is to hear her.

Until she suddenly comes back, pausing to take a deep breathe. It's clear and firm the last bits of her speech that she has to say.

Needs to say.

' _The point of this rambling message was that I miss you. I don't know if you'll even listen to this all or merely delete it once you see it's from me, though I hope we can talk again soon. I mean really and truly talk because I love you dragon boy; I know you hate it when you get called that (especially by our not so good friends), but it's true.'_

And then Lucy's voice is gone.

The mechanical beeping of his phone asks if he wants the message to be replayed and he does.

At least a good second and third time too.

-X-

"This was a set up!" Natsu and Lucy sputtered in unison.

Of course, he should've been suspicious when Gray announced he wanted to show them this new supposedly fancy wine bar he and Juvia had recently frequented…

He _**never**_ liked to bring up date spots he went with Juvia, keeping them private for only the two of them to know.

So when he saw that Gajeel and Gray and had 'left' to get drinks, he knew they weren't coming back.

And Lucy likewise knew Levy and Juvia weren't going to return from the bathrooms 'freshened' up any time soon as they had told her.

Lucy arched a brow at his appearance, grin lighting her face. "I'm surprised you got dressed up for this."

His attire reminded them of the anniversary party Fairy Tail had, crisp black jacket and pants with crimson red tie.

She too had gussied up, curling her blonde locks and sporting a formal lilac blue dress that stopped right at her knees.

He stared longingly over her, smirking at the tell-tale pink beginning to burn her cheeks. "Oh? I could say the same to you."

Lucy huffed, looking away from his knowing grin. "I-I didn't know I was going to be tricked! They said the dress code here was fancier than your normal run of the mill bar!"

"I heard your voicemail." Natsu spoke up after a while.

Lucy blinked, auburn eyes shifting downward as she nervously fiddled with her silverware.

"Oh? That probably came out sounding so weird! Ha Ha, I know you were thinking-"

"I missed you too." He interrupted, smirk becoming one of his truer smiles.

So here they were, talking again.

And Natsu for the most part was glad Lucy giddily talked about her trip, showing off photos and discussing the latest news going on in their friend's lives…

But he couldn't shake this nagging feeling.

Lucy would go back to mother's research again. Inescapably, he couldn't stop her from pulling all-nighters searching her mother's work as he had first tried despite the toll it would take on her worsening insomnia.

She was desperate for answers.

' _Would she like those answers though?'_ He wondered.

Tonight, her scar was covered with foundation, in the dim lights of the bar nobody would notice it.

Fleeting thoughts, ideas had occurred to him that if Layla had had such a scar too, perhaps leftover drug combinations and effects in her system had been passed to Lucy during birth and only now were they starting to appear.

If that were the case, Lucy wasn't showing any of the same signs of sickness her mother had gotten.

In fact, the only problem she seemed to have was her lack of proper sleep.

And scarily Zeref would eventually catch on to this.

That Lucy could be an easy person to test trials on…she never got sick like his other patients if remnants of said drugs were already in her.

Whether she knew it or not.

' _Just how far could that go?'_ He stiffened, pushing Zeref's grin out of his mind.

"No." He growled under his breath, tearing his knife a bit too deeply into his plate of chicken. Lucy stared at him in confusion, face marred with worry.

She couldn't keep searching, it was too dangerous, too risky if more people found out about this.

He'd protect her.

"What's wrong?" She whispered, smiling nervously at the looks they were getting. Typical of being out with him.

Natsu shook his head, fixing her with a serious expression that only made her heart pick up speed.

"Luce, I want you to stop searching through your mother's notes. Only temporarily, it's not good for your health."

As he expected, she doesn't like his answer.

She snorted, sitting back slightly in her chair. "You're going to have to give me a better answer than _**that.**_ Juvia told me the same thing. _ **"**_

Natsu clenched his teeth, anything he said would come out harsh and selfish now. And maybe that's what he _**was**_ doing, but…

"I'm concerned; I have an inkling that your mom passed more than just her looks and interests down to you. If it's true that your dad went to Zeref in search of drugs to help with your mom's sickness then it's possible she had some still in her system even while she was giving birth to you." He explains.

Lucy's annoyance slowly turned into puzzlement.

"I mean, in the end the medicines didn't help and your mom still passed on, but _**you…**_ you still might have some of the drugs in your body and nothing's happened to you yet. Zeref doesn't know that, but if he does…he'll want to test on you even more than he does now." He emphasizes.

For a while, Lucy says nothing. Jazz music floats around them, romantic ambience of dimly lit candles and the smell of elegant dishes is slowly dying away.

Finally, Lucy bites her lip. Not a good sign.

"Natsu, I can't stop searching though. I know it's risky that your brother and whoever else that works under him will find that out and want to experiment on me, but that's all just theories. We don't know for sure if that's true. Mom had so much other things going on with her I can't ignore…"

' _Things you don't even know about.'_ Chillier thoughts deride.

His gaze hardens, his knife is practically cutting into the table.

"Lucy, the last thing I want is you to knowingly walk into danger."

"I'll be okay, you don't always need to protect me." She retorts.

The edge in both their voices is back. If their friends were still watching from any safe distance, they could chalk this up to a quickly failing makeup date.

She can tell he's truly trying to keep the anger out of his face and voice, chewing on his food much slower than normal for him.

' _He's trying to protect you, he's worried about your safety; why can't you see that?! Why do you have to be so snippy and argue with him? You're behaving like you used to do with Loke!'_ Her thoughts deride her.

Goosebumps prickle her skin, weakly arguing back with herself that she wasn't. But then, was this bound to happen knowing her luck with guys? Natsu had always stayed close to her since freshman year, supporting her dreams and goals; so why now was he doing the opposite when she was getting so close to the truth behind so many questions she had growing up?

' _You said you weren't going to date or get involved with men for your senior year, this is why.'_ A final thought comes through.

And said words are absolutely crushing, she's squeezing her hands so tightly she swears they're turning a faint purple.

All she wanted was answers about her mother's past, she wouldn't find that by running away.

So instead, she whispered the words that maybe she should've said weeks ago to him.

Ignoring the ache that would come with it, the pain in his eyes and hers…

"Natsu, we're never going to agree on this; maybe we should just break up for a while."

-x-

 _Almost to 100 reviews and 250+ follows! Thanks you guys for all your support! Let me know your feedback/suggestions and as always; thanks for reading!_

 _Enjoy. Review. Favorite. Follow!_


	20. Daydreams in the Night

**Chapter 20: Daydreams in the Night**

' _This is for the best.'_

It's a good lie to tell herself, but it can only work for so long…

Magnolia has gone into its rainy season, fitting for her current mood. Rain patters quietly against the window and ceiling, lightning flashes up against her window as thunder rumbles lowly again from the distance.

Normally, this is the perfect weather for conducting some studying or writing, but…

Her mind keeps drifting.

Back to a certain annoying pink-haired guy.

Just like he promised, Natsu hasn't tried to call or send any texts since the break-up.

To her surprise, a week passes, then another and before she knows it, they've been apart from each other for almost a month now.

' _If this is want you want Luce, I won't impose on you anymore.'_

She swallowed down the knot forming in her throat. Stupid Natsu, why had he believed her on this when he saw through her lies any other time?

It's like he's vanished from her life completely.

And her stubborn heart refuses to believe that this is her new reality. Her brain reminds her heart _**she's**_ the one who made this choice. The one who suggested taking a break, despite not feeling 100% sure at the time.

' _You can't go back on it now.'_

"I know." Lucy grumbled under her breathe, sighing.

Maybe another pause from reading would do her mind some good, the dull throbbing in the back of her head was only going to get worse if she didn't try and get some rest.

Despite not feeling all that sleepy.

She pushed away her mother's collection of notes and books to make space on her desk, closing her eyes. Her desk clock shows its approaching 1:00 am and the half-finished cup of chamomile tea Juvia had given her as a gift weeks ago feels warm against her cheek.

Inevitably, her thoughts start to wander.

" _Natsu, you should really try and take these quizzes more seriously. You know quizzes count for 10% of your grade. It could make or break you between a pass or a fail once the end of the semester comes." Lucy explained, looking over the piles of C's and D's Natsu pulled out from his backpack._

 _How was he going to pass algebra and biology with scores these low?_

' _Maybe he expects a miracle with midterms.' She considered sardonically, watching as Natsu yawned, more ready for a nap than anything else it seemed._

 _But instead Natsu rolled over to send her a smile, crossing his hands behind his head casually as he laid down next to her on her bed. "Oh, don't worry about those! I have a secret weapon that will help me pass anyways!"_

 _Lucy rolled her eyes, unable to keep a small grin from coming up as well. "You better not be thinking of cheating…you know what happened the last time you got nearly caught!"_

 _Natsu should've known better than to think hiding his phone under his shoe (when he prefers to wear sandals most of the time anyways) would work._

 _She reddens when she feels him abruptly grab her hand, making her face him. There's a sparkle of mischief in his obsidian eyes and her heart pounds a bit harder._

" _The secret weapon is_ _ **you**_ _Luce." He states easily._

 _Lucy blinked, almost wanting to laugh and take his remark as a joke though Natsu looks completely serious._

" _You're going to help me through midterms, right? I know the last thing you could stand is seeing your boyfriend fail…especially if it means no 'celebrating' afterwards." He teased, grin widening at her flushed cheeks._

 _She broke away from his grip, grabbing for the first thing next to her to avoid his knowing grin._

 _A book on sexology?_

 _Well, she was absolutely sure_ _ **neither**_ _of them were taking a class like that. Did Magnolia University even offer such a course?_

' _Damnit Juvia. What have you been sneaking into my belongings again?!'_

 _She pictured the sapphire haired girl smiling proudly at her accomplishment, hugging the book close._

" _Juvia knows you will be so happy that your relationship with Natsu improved from reading the book's advice! Gray and Juvia's did!"_

 _Natsu's snickering breaks her from the thought, grabbing and rolling her so he's on top of her once more._

 _Completely pinned._

" _Guess your mind was on sex more than you wanted to admit, huh? Ah, hiding your perversions…" He questioned lowly in her ears._

 _Lucy gulped, shaking her head. "N-No! Geez, Juvia must've have sneaked it into my stuff when I wasn't paying attention. I'm not like_ _ **you**_!"

" _Oh? Well let's see if I can change your mind then…"_

Only when Lucy opens her eyes again, Natsu clearly isn't here.

And a quick glance around shows she is very much still in room she's renting for the summer. Outside, the white glow of the streetlights flicker on again as another torrent of rain comes through.

Her whole body is curled in excitement from the daydream, imagining Natsu's scent.

His touch.

His…

"No, get a grip Lucy!" She hissed to herself, rubbing her face to keep the wilder images away.

One long shower will get rid of this, it has to…

She can't miss him, crave for him like this.

But her reflection in the bathroom's mirror mocks her for even trying to keep it together, lips a swollen pink from biting into them enough to draw blood.

' _Who am I trying to fool?'_

-X-

"And you're sure you're okay with this?" Gray asks again over his shoulder.

' _I swear if he asks me that one more time.'_

"Snow queen don't you have other people you could be bothering right now? Or better yet, go hang out with Juvia; she's always up for spending free time with you." Natsu grunts back, barely opening one eye to look at him.

He scowls as Gray's smile widens.

"As a matter of fact I don't! Juvia's away on some trip to study the waters around Hargeon Town. Guess you're stuck with me all afternoon Pyro until you finally decide to start talking." He replied.

Ugh; wonderful.

He knew he shouldn't have told Gray about the breakup, this was obviously going to be his course of action: annoy the hell out of him before he just eventually snapped.

No, he was stronger than that. Probably…

"Wow, what would people think of this sight? The man known as Dragon among the underground networks and alleyways moping and curled into the ball all because of one girl?" Gray continued on mockingly.

"Shut it." He growled.

Gray only oohed in response before walking away. He could hear the sound of a chair screeching against the wood floor as he plopped down beside him.

So he really isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"…Listen, I'm sure Lucy had a good reason for wanting to break up besides the fact you two had been arguing over her whole scar issue, mom, and insomnia." He pointed out seriously.

Natsu sat up at this, frowning.

"You don't understand. Lucy's taking this too far, searching through all of her mother's belongings, notes, memoirs to find some answer to the scar, to her sleeplessness. I can understand her desires, yes; but I'm afraid of just how far she'll take it; especially if the answers she's seeking will eventually lead her back into Zeref's path."

Gray brushed a hand through his hair, sighing.

"So, just tell her what you know then."

Natsu slouched back into the couch, grumbling.

If it was that easy, doesn't he think he would've done that by now? Lucy didn't exactly listen to him the first time he tried to bring up his viewpoint.

Did she even know of her mother's connections to his brother?

Gray snorted at his silence, crossing his arms. "Gajeel and I aren't going to deal with your one person pity party for the rest of the summer you know; you better think up some grand romantic gesture to get back into Lucy's good graces so things won't be awkward when we're all together as a group."

Natsu scoffed. "Well that's going to be a little bit hard considering Lucy won't even meet my gaze."

Gray arched a brow. "I don't recall that stopping you before in the past when you two weren't even dating."

True.

He smirked as an idea came to mind, as difficult as it was to admit; Gray _**did**_ have a point.

He wouldn't let Lucy endanger herself, whether she wanted his help or not.

And Gray smiled in return at seeing his change in expression, arching a brow.

"You got a plan in mind?"

"Perhaps."

-X-

"I don't know if this is that good of an idea Levy." Lucy murmured, staring around uncomfortably.

She missed the so called 'bad' weather.

Because if it was raining, that meant Levy would rather stay indoors with a good book for comfort; but _**no,**_ it just had to be a perfectly sunny day. The only remnants of rain ever having been around in the form of a few patches of clouds drifting overhead.

"Didn't you say you were bored and tired of moping around the apartment? I mean if Juvia and Erza can go out on adventures; so can we!" Levy chirps, pumping a fist in the air excitedly.

' _At the Magnolia City Mall?'_

Most everyone around knew this mall wasn't exactly the greatest, many people preferring and flocking to the fancier and bigger CenterPoint of Fiore one built a few months ago that offered the more high end boutiques and restaurants.

So why were they at this one?

' _Right, because it was the one with the notorious 'hook-up' theater.'_

It was odd out of all the things CenterPoint of Fiore bragged and advertised about having, a movie theater was a big thing they were missing.

And Levy knew this.

Movie theaters were a cool escape from the sun and were one of the few places they hadn't gone yet after spending so many days at the beach, shopping, or exploring the parks and ending the nights at one of the various clubs littered around the place catering to their age group.

Eventually, that routine got tiresome.

"You and Gajeel aren't having issues now too; are you?" Lucy asks cautiously, surely not considering the bounce in her step and giddiness in her hazel eyes…

She waves her off with a laugh, shaking her head. "Oh no, but this isn't about us; it's about _**you.**_ _"_

Lucy frowned, something about that wording doesn't sit right with her.

Then it clicks.

"Levy, don't tell me you're planning a-"

"Double date!" Levy finishes for her, clapping her hands delightfully with a nod.

No, no, no, she isn't ready for this!

She hasn't even talked to Natsu through a proper phone call yet!

"Levy, I can't! I haven't even gotten to speaking terms with Natsu!" Lucy huffs, nudging her that they need to turn back.

Now.

But of course Levy doesn't budge, lips curling from a smile into a scowl. She holds up the mix of purple and blue bags they've been carrying around, shaking her head.

"No way, you're not running away like a chicken! There's a reason why I had us do our shopping first before going to the movies! Plus, I'm your ride back if you _**do**_ decide to go scurrying off; don't forget!"

Lucy felt like pulling her hair out.

"I hate you, you know that?"

Levy winked, poking her cheek affectionately.

"Oh, don't say that! You know you love me; especially knowing the _**next**_ surprise I have in store for you."

And no sooner does she say this does she see Gajeel coming into view from the corner of her eye, clad completely in his typical black/metal clothing along with…

Natsu.

At least Natsu looks just as uncomfortable as her, not meeting her eyes.

He looked different, not wearing his typical vest and shorts. The summer heat wouldn't usually drive Natsu of all people to wear blue jeans and a tank top. Maybe Gray and Gajeel were rubbing off on him in terms of fashion sense.

"You're staring." Levy notes by her ear and she reddens, staring back towards the theatrical posters.

They were going to see some spy- thriller action flick, she briefly remembered in passing Natsu saying he wanted to see it weeks ago during finals in the hopes they could see it together.

She squirmed, walking ahead of them all to the ticket booth.

"How's the reading going?" Natsu asks, unable to hide the sourness out of his tone.

Why did Levy think this was a good idea again?

Lucy could only wonder what she and Juvia were going to concoct up next in order to accidentally force her and Natsu to spend time together.

' _Making us sit next to each other too, is she trying to get us kicked out?'_ Her grouchiness deepened.

"Great, how's lazing around your apartment going?" She snipped back.

His eyes narrowed. "Fine."

"Good."

"Okay."

Gajeel cleared his throat, making the duo eye him nastily.

"Salamander, Bunny; if you two are done tossing veiled insults at each other. My girlfriend and I would actually like to _**hear**_ the movie going on." He emphasized.

He was right, the previews were over. The lights along the walkway darkened as the whole area went to black.

Levy nudged him to not to be rude, only resulting in him frizzing up her hair that he was right.

The sight made a twinge of jealousy thump in her chest. She and Natsu would never be like that again, no, there were just too many secrets and distrust between them to ever recover; right?

' _And he seems to be doing just fine without you. Hell, maybe he's moved on. He doesn't look like he's been wasting his summer away spending all his time indoors like you.'_

Still…

She peeked at him out of the corner of her eye as the opening credits rolled over the screen and froze.

He was staring back.

Her stomach irritably twists in on itself, popcorn and candy she ate much too fast in order to avoid conversation swish back and forth in a frenzy.

But she sucks in a breath and the feeling passes.

"Why are you looking at me?" She hisses.

Natsu arches a brow, smirking much to her frustration. "I could ask you the same question."

"I'm…I'm just trying to get comfortable in my seat." Lucy whispers, stretching and rolling her shoulders to accentuate her point.

Natsu chuckles and the warm sensation returns to pit of her chest.

Stupid hormones.

"Right Luce, whatever you say." He mumbles, sipping at his soda as he returned to looking at the screen.

When he truly isn't looking anymore she flicks his arm.

"Didn't you love the final fight scene between the good guys and the villains? I thought time was going to run out for sure!" Levy gushes excitedly.

The evening heat is somehow a welcome relief from the cold air conditioning of the theater. The sky has taken on a light pastel of orange and reds, moon gradually becoming brighter in the darkening sky.

"Hmm, yeah they used the latest in special effects and camera angles." Lucy replied, wrinkling her nose at how distracted she had been.

She didn't even remember the last part of the movie Levy was talking about!

' _Because you got into a popcorn fight with Natsu.'_ Her thoughts replied.

The answer makes her head fuzzy and face grow hot.

Natsu and Gajeel are already heading in the opposite direction, but not before Gajeel _**had**_ to make a show of kissing Levy goodnight.

Much to the awkwardness of them standing by and watching.

Natsu's gaze lingers over to them and she absently clicks her sandals against the gravel of pavement.

What exactly happened between them back in that theater?

-X-

"Okay, eggs, bread, fruit, milk. Done." Lucy read off her shopping list, scratching through the last item.

Afternoon grocery shopping is finally done.

Next item on the agenda, sleep.

It had been only a day since the movie fiasco between her and Natsu and she refused to discuss it anymore with Levy, Juvia, or even herself at this point.

She and Natsu could be on friendly terms without dating. It would be hard to avoid each other anyways knowing how many of the same friends they shared.

" _From how it sounds to Juvia though, it seemed more like you two were flirting." Juvia considered, swirling her spaghetti around with a hum._

" _You're so right Juvia! You should've seen how red Lucy got when I sent her a questioning look midway through the movie. It was just like how Erza gets whenever Jellal is the room." Levy giggled back before taking a bite of her sandwich._

" _You guys, I_ _ **am**_ _still here." Lucy grunted._

 _Lunch outings were never going to be the same now that they all had boyfriends. Well, except for her._

 _She broke up that flow._

"Anyways, Natsu and I can eventually get back to normalcy between us; I hope?" Lucy asked herself.

What was exactly 'normal' for them though?

Her mind took her to the now much too often daydreams of Natsu coming in through the window of her apartment, searching through her cabinets and dressers for food, and the newest one as of late; sneaking into her bed on the basis of making sure she slept through the night.

Because her insomnia is very much keeping her up into the late hours, sometimes even just before the sun is set to rise.

And now today Natsu had suggested they met up again to discuss her mother's notes and her scar.

Alone.

He was tempting her, and not just with that silly wink emoticon he used to end his message. Somehow, Natsu had information that she would never be able to find no matter how many times she went over Layla's notes from back to front.

She still hadn't gotten around to answering it though, she wanted to do this without getting any outside help.

If possible.

She pulled at her phone to re-read his message, pausing before moving her fingers forward to type.

" _ **Where would we even meet at to go over this information? Magnolia isn't known for having many secretive locations from what I know."**_

There, the first decent conversation the two were having.

And he's already typing something back.

" _ **Why, at your place Luce! I don't think our friends will stalk us that far. Don't cha think?"**_

She giggled, while her dorm seemed to be the safe haven her friends liked to visit during the school semester, they were oddly absent from the apartment she was using until the school year resumed.

The next words he types continues to make her heart flutter.

It's mutual.

" _ **I missed you Luce."**_

But she doesn't get a chance to type the words back, a hand reaches forth from behind her; startling her.

And all of a sudden her senses are invaded by the painfully familiar scent of alcohol and smoke. Tears sting and burn at her eyes as she coughs and harshly jabs the figure away.

A curse escapes the man's lips from the action and a cold shudder makes her step back in alarm.

Roy smiles easily, ignoring the ache in his gut as he stands up quickly.

It's been much too long.

"Hey Lucy, rumor has it you've recently become single."

-x-

 _Sitting at home as it rains, trying to catch up on my writing. Apologies for the wait! Let me know your thoughts!_

 _Enjoy. Review. Favorite. Follow._


	21. Breakthrough

**Chapter 21: Breakthrough**

"You've heard wrong." Lucy grunts.

"No; I haven't." Roy repeats, far too close again into her personal space. Her jabs to his chest have done nothing to deter him at all.

He keeps following her like a lost puppy…or maybe in his case a nasty rat.

A rat who in particular enjoys the thrills of good gossip.

"So what was it that finally caused the break up? Did Natsu finally grow tired of your secrets? Your lies?" He croons on.

' _We were just having a conversation for you information! Not that he needs to know that.'_

Roy doesn't mind her dodging of his questions, keeping up with her pace easily as she makes twists and turns throughout the cobblestone street.

Right now, she needs a miracle; the perfect excuse to get away from him.

And somehow it's answered.

Just not in the way she expected per usual.

"Come on Luce, you can't be silent with me forever. In fact, I think that you-"Roy paused, struck before he could finish himself.

Lucy turned around in shock to see him now on the ground, clutching at his head as blood dripped down into the street.

Natsu slams the door against his face twice for good measure as he steps out of the store they were in front of, smirking down at his figure.

"Whoops, _**I**_ certainly didn't see you there walking by!" He chirps out, making the effort to step on his toes as well as he crossed out of the store.

Maybe he's a horrible person, but he enjoys the crunch of his fingers snapping under the pressure of his feet on them.

Roy growls as he instantly moves to stand back up, spitting away the grime of the floor off his lips.

"Dragon, I thought you weren't going to stick your nose in underground affairs anymore. You surely don't think you can hide Lucy forever from your brother's testing or even her own desires to get better; do you?"

Natsu growled, tugging and pulling Lucy behind him despite her slight resistance. "Lucy's mine."

' _His?'_

Lucy gapes for a moment at him, shutting her mouth quickly at his grin back at her.

She just saw him less than a day ago, there isn't any reason to be this excited to see him again. Especially not when he's holding her with such possession…

Roy narrows his eyes at the action and her stomach churns at seeing his familiar grisly mar his face once more.

"Ugh Dragneel's can be so protective, you're so much like your brother more than you even realize. But this is one thing you can't keep her from."

"Zeref won't have another victim." Natsu hisses back.

A crowd is forming around them, too many eyes are watching, whispering, wondering what's going on if a scuffle is about to go down.

Roy scowls, diving his bruised hands into his pockets as he stepped back.

"If you say so…at least for now."

He leaves and the crowd slowly disperses once it's realized a fight isn't going to happen. Natsu keeps his tight hold around her until her mind drifts her back to reality that she should still be mad at him…

And definitely not so close to him.

But it's too late considering her body has already started reacting to him, heart thumping eagerly again at having his warmth encompass her.

"How long have you been around here?" She finally murmurs.

Natsu simply shrugged, pointing towards back in the store. "I've been watching from across the way this whole time."

"What?!"

"Relax, I wouldn't have let him done anything to you; I was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to interfere! Besides that, he's wrong."

He tugged her around so she was properly facing him, leaning in close to her despite her squirming.

"What's he wrong about?" Lucy eventually muttered, refusing to look at him.

But Natsu forces her face up with a gentle turn of her chin, grinning at her reddened cheeks.

"That we're still broken up."

His lips hover close to hers hesitantly before pressing in, smirking at her slip of a moan. The kiss is a complete composite of bottled up feelings that still linger between them.

And when he pulls back she curses herself for wanting more.

"It's news to me that we've gotten back together."

Natsu's eyes darkened, flicking out his tongue as he licked his lips. "Your body's reaction just now would care to disagree with that statement."

Lucy stiffened, breaking away from him with a huff.

Her stupid hormones had betrayed her once again!

"So was it true?"

She blinked, turning to look back at him. "Was what true?"

He beamed, holding up his phone. "The conversation we were having just now silly. Did you miss me?"

He wiggled his brows as he scrolled through their texts, the damning evidence is all right there. For once she wished he didn't have that annoying habit of saving text messages from weeks ago.

Well, there's no way she can deny what was just happening mere minutes ago.

"Yeah, I did." Lucy sighs. The truth surprisingly isn't that difficult to say.

A familiar spark glows in his eyes then, a shiver of pleasure runs through her spine knowing it's a look he's reserved only for her.

This hunger.

"Good; that means it would be okay for me to do this again."

And she welcomes the taste of his lips on hers properly this time, heat of his touches burning her until she's inevitably weak in his arms.

Natsu grins as he hovers over her when they pull back for air, brushing away blonde locks from her face.

"There's something I need to tell you about. I've been keeping it from you for so long. I didn't want to stress you out anymore when it seemed like you were so overcome with your researching."

The passion melts.

Despite the sun bearing down on them, it feels like a cold wave of water has just splashed her across the face.

"About what?" She murmurs.

His frown makes a dull ache begin to thrum and spread across her chest.

"Your mom." He states eventually, going uncomfortably quiet.

The thrumming picks up speed, pounding and drumming against every nerve across her skin. Her stomach foolishly picks now to start feeling like it's constricting in on itself.

Because how can Natsu know something she doesn't already know? These weeks spent studying all of her mother's favorite works, books, and secret interests could _**not**_ just all be in vain.

It couldn't be in waste, sleepless nights and so many turned down invites to hang out with the gang…

An itching sensation pinpoints against her scar, igniting her whole body.

Natsu sees the skepticism in her eyes before she can even talk again, something must be different about her that she can't see because he reaches to squeeze at her hands.

"First, promise me you'll relax." He continues.

' _No.'_

Anything that started out with 'stay calm' usually resulted in the complete opposite happening.

But she wills herself to relax, breathing in deeply and hoping that the knots in her shoulders and stomach will unwind.

And the burning against her scar slowly cools down.

"Okay; go on."

Natsu nods, taking her hand and guiding her away from the crowded streets. They reach a relatively quiet area by the port, the smell of sea salt fills her nose as tries to tune out everything else around them.

"I have strong reason to believe that your mother used to be one of Zeref's patients for a very short time." He states.

Lucy's brows furrowed in puzzlement. Huh? Zeref was relatively a new doctor and Layla had been dead for years now.

Where were the pieces supposed to connect?

"You have to remember my brother has been testing and experimenting with drugs long before he became the so called reputable 'Dr. Dragneel'. I'm sure your father heard about the success stories of his clients and wanted to see if it would work with Layla…maybe not even knowing yet that she was pregnant with you." Natsu explained.

The thought of his hands having touched not just hers, but her mother's as well brings a whole new wave of nausea to her.

This is the last thing she expected Natsu to tell her.

"Are you sure?" She asks softly.

He points to the jagged scar along her neck and then to the lighter ones against his own skin.

This stupid scar she consistently hides between waves of her bangs to stop people from wondering, questioning…

"I'm sure."

-X-

"When did this happen?!" Levy asks with repeated excitement, not bothering to keep her voice down despite Lucy's hushes.

Natsu's head drifts slowly off her already numbing shoulder and arm, though he still somehow remains asleep throughout this whole conversation, breathing even and slow.

Levy just would happen to stop by unannounced! Giving her a second key for emergencies has never backfired so bad…

Though she can't be very mad when Natsu does the same thing, but Levy usually makes the effort to send a call or text her way before coming by.

She gives her best attempt at a half-hearted shrug, reddening at her continued lighthearted squeals and giggling.

"Oh, if only Juvia were here to see this! I should take a picture to commemorate this scene to history; this was right after the movies; wasn't it? I knew the double date was going to work when I saw all those popcorn kernels still in you guys' hair!" Levy muses gleefully.

Lucy shook her head rapidly, pushing her phone away. "No pictures! Geez, if you must know it didn't happen after the movies, it takes time to forgive and reconcile."

Her grin only widens. "Okay, so maybe it took you two a day or so later, but I just _**knew**_ you two couldn't stay mad at each other forever!"

This was only part 1 of the teasing, how would the rest of their friends behave once they knew they were back together?

Still, she had other things on her mind…

" _I know your mom wouldn't have wanted you worrying so much about her condition."_

 _Lucy bites at her lip, shifting once more among her blankets. Natsu shouldn't have followed her to her apartment, she hates looking so weak in front of him…so scared._

 _In the moonlight his eyes look otherworldly, glowing briefly whenever they touch._

" _I wish she had told me or at least Dad how bad it was getting, maybe we could've done something more to help her instead of letting her go through all these experimental options not knowing it would make things worse." She whispers._

 _She isn't sure if Natsu heard her, but she begins to feel him tug her close as she becomes wrapped up in his arms._

" _Well, look at what it's doing to you right now. It's close to past 1 in the morning and yet you're still awake." He notes._

 _Her heart beats faster and she breathes out a low sigh of frustration. "Of course! How can I relax knowing because she went to Zeref something dangerous has been potentially passed on to me?! Something that I don't even have proper control over and that even know Zeref himself is going to be coming after me to-"_

 _Natsu puts a finger to her lips to stop her incoherent rambling, smiling at her huffing._

" _Luce, relax. Don't forget you're not going through this alone."_

 _His lips brush hers and she curls her fingers into his pink locks to keep him close._

' _I'm not alone.'_

Natsu had stayed over in the end like he had done so many nights before, sleeping well into the afternoon and leaving them in their current situation.

He had told her not to worry herself and she really was trying not to, distracting herself with games and TV shows she had missed over the past weeks.

"Levy, what brings you by anyways?" Lucy questioned, trying to sit up properly despite Natsu shifting his head deeper into her neck.

He _**must**_ be feigning sleep now.

Levy cooed at the scene before snapping her fingers as the thought came back to her.

"Oh that's right! Fairy Tail on campus was holding a meeting to plan events for the fall semester and I was wondering if you wanted to come.

Fairy Tail?

It seemed like she had hardly been active in any of her clubs over the past spring, dedicating most of her time to studying and writing the occasional article for the newspaper club. Summer was already going by so fast, part of her didn't even want to think about papers and late-night assignments again…

Besides, Fairy Tail had been more of Natsu's thing anyways with him pushing her to join considering they were only seniors for a few more months.

From a side glance she can see him peeking one eye open at her, small grin lighting his face.

"Well, you don't have anything better to do right now Luce; do you?"

-X-

' _The damage is extensive.'_

Zeref scrolls to the next images, the faces of many of his older clients whisk past him in blurs; all have been exposed to his test drugs.

His experiments.

And each one of them has his telling mark, his signature.

Ugly gashes along their neck.

A smirk ghosts his lips the further he scrolls down, blackened cuts, thinning hair, and bloodshot eyes the result of craving his medicine again and again.

' _It's not enough though, my research still isn't complete. All because Natsu reminded me of_ _ **her**_ _…for someone to have been exposed to my trials and not be addicted…'_

His door clicks open and a figure waltzes in, screeching of chairs making him look up.

Roy is pissed.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

"Why is it that you haven't put that brother of yours in his place yet?!"

Zeref responds by casually leaning back in his chair, reaching for his cooling tea to take a long sip.

"So I take it you weren't able to get Lucy alone then either?"

Roy shakes his head wildly, cheeks a heated red as he holds up his bruised fingers. "Bastard Dragon watches her like a hawk nowadays, even when they've supposedly 'broken up' he's still nearby enough to keep an eye on her."

Zeref arched a brow. They had broken up? This was his first time hearing such news.

Not that it seemed to change much.

Roy grumbles curses under his breathe, shaking his head.

"Look, I don't think you'll be able to get close to her. Her insomnia doesn't even seem to be as bad as it used to be; at least not the way it was back when she was with Loke."

Zeref frowned then, obsidian eyes narrow as he turned his gaze back to his computer. "This isn't about her insomnia any more, it's about investigating an old drug that's likely still in her system."

And he restrained back a deeper scowl forming knowing he was still at square one.

Roy was becoming of no help to him, he needed to get rid of him before he talked to too many people…

' _Her mother had been difficult and stubborn as well.'_

But while Layla had known him when he was just a beginning resident in the field, barely out of school and herself desperate for any new options, Lucy knew him with at least some experience under his belt.

It was a mystery to him that she was now only just starting to exhibit signs of having his drugs in her system after all these years…

A puzzle he intended to solve, no matter the efforts.

Roy clicked his tongue, narrowing his eyes. He sounded so eerily serious about this in comparison to his past patients, not wanting to simply give this up.

"Just how far are you going to take this?" He questions.

Zeref clicks to a new tab, taking him right back to the gleaming screen of Magnolia University's homepage. In neat cursive he finds the faculty and student webpages, chuckling to himself as he browses through links taking him club meeting dates and top officers and members. He's been here before just to get a basic idea of Lucy's main activities, though it's time now to dig deeper.

Mainly to look at Fairy Tail's in particular.

"I already have some inside people."

' _And soon I'll finally be rid of you.'_

-X-

"Well, well it's about time you got up off your ass and fixed things with Lucy pyro!" Gray muses at seeing the pair walk into the guild together.

"Well, well it's about time _**you**_ were more open about your feelings to Juvia in public instead of pretending you don't feel that way about her Popsicle!" Natsu mocked him in return, eyeing how close the two were standing next to each other at one of the wood tables.

Gray cracked his knuckles, standing up. "Want to repeat that?"

"I'm only stating the obvious!"

"You guys might want to be careful, Erza is coming up behind you!" Lucy adds in for dramatic effect, snickering when they frantically look around only to see she is nowhere nearby.

Natsu affectionately flicks at her nose once Gray gets dragged off by Juvia to the halls upstairs. It's much more crowded than it was months ago, new faces bright and eagerly walking around refurbished mahogany tables and fancy furniture bought after the fiasco of the anniversary party.

"Want to go check the new dining hall and library out?" He asks gently by her ear and she nods, accepting his hand as they weaved through hordes of strangers.

As soon as they turn the corner though, a chilling sensation grips at her chest.

It feels like they're being watched.

She squeezes at Natsu's hand a bit tighter as they make their way to end of one of the many buffet lines, a raven haired woman smirks up from her glass from across the room, giving a slight wave before turning to go outside.

But it isn't just her, the figure that had been to next to her continues to watch them with a glazed expression, showing off razor sharp teeth beneath wild brown bangs…

Neither recognize who he is.

And her throat constricts even more.

' _Minerva? But why would she be here? She wasn't even a Fairy Tail member and she had made it very obvious she wouldn't become one anytime soon.'_

"Natsu, do you know any of these new members?" Lucy questions softly by him.

"Hmm no, why?" He asks curiously.

He follows her line of sight though and sighs. That manic look in this man's eyes…he's seen it far too many times before.

One of Zeref's clients.

"I didn't think he would track us this far into the school." He grits his teeth.

Lucy looks around, he isn't the only one with a dazed look. Dozens of others are beginning to stare at them too, pointing and whispering before smiling.

"We can't start a fight Natsu, there are too many eyewitnesses." She notes, pulling him back from stepping forward.

They were only after one target after all: Her.

Natsu scowled, turning back to study her. "What do you suppose we do then?"

Lucy only smiled mysteriously, pointing at herself and his confusion gives way to grin as well.

She always has a plan.

Especially for a time like this.

"We give them what they want."

-x-

 _Only a few more chapters to go! I see this ending somewhere between maybe 25 chapters. Thank you to all of those who have been reading and been patient with me!_

 _Enjoy. Review. Favorite. Follow!_


	22. Everlasting

**Chapter 22: Everlasting**

' _What they want?'_

Natsu doesn't understand it, but Lucy gives him such a confident smile he can't help to just follow along with what she'll say or do next.

"They want to hurt me, you know. Zeref's clients and any people he can get to follow what he says." Lucy continues.

Minerva inches closer to them and she finally catches the glimpse of something sparkling at the corner of her shirt.

"Whatever that is, you can't hurt with me it. Zeref promised me more money than you could ever imagine for bringing you to him."

' _And she believed him?'_

His lies seemed never ending.

She arches a brow as Lucy shifts the collar of her shirt down to reveal her scar.

It's the first time Natsu's seen it a while and he realizes it's gotten bigger, a long ugly gash that makes Zeref's followers and Minerva pause.

"You've been tainted by him already?" Minerva whispers in surprise.

Lucy nods, pulling the collar from her shirt back up while discreetly reaching into side of her bra.

"So tell me him this if you have anything to report back to him that I am _**not**_ nor will I ever consider being his lab rat!" She snapped, tossing down a smoke bomb as the room became flooded with a thick gray fog.

Natsu blinked in confusion, coughing as his eyes began to burn and tear up before he felt Lucy's hand tugging him away from the scene.

"How and why did you sneak that into your bra?!" He asked, smirking at the rise of red to her face once they were far enough away from the smoke.

The commotion had caused the other guild members to scramble and once again the sickening feeling of guilt pressed on her stomach.

People constantly seemed in danger or in trouble around her too much as of late.

"Shut it, Gajeel was the one with the connection to all types of gadgets like that and I had to hide it on myself somehow in case things went bad without bringing notice towards it either!"

Natsu continued to beam naughtily, shaking his head.

"If you say so Luce!" He hummed in a singsong voice.

Well, he clearly doesn't believe her.

They weave and move until they're finally far enough away from the chaos, sucking in further gulps of fresh air.

"Always have a backup plan." Lucy breathed out quietly.

Because she knew from somewhere in the area, Zeref was still close by.

"Are you okay?" Natsu questions, bringing her back to reality and she nods, trying to ignore his stare back to her covered up scar.

"You…you never told me it got that bad." He mentions gently.

Lucy shrugged, hoping the topic could be dropped quickly.

"I just haven't tried to look at it that much lately." She replied, but her voice cracks and she knows Natsu heard it.

It's an ugly reminder.

Of things still left undone, that Zeref is still trying to hunt them down.

"Let's go home." Natsu abruptly suggests, making Lucy blink before shaking her head.

"We just got here though." She points out.

And leaving would only make it seem like they've lost, that they've finally let Zeref get to them.

But she can't take as much enjoyment out of seeing the new furniture and sights the guild has bought over the vacation, everything in these shiny hardwood and marble tiles reminds her that at one point in time just months ago this was all in shambles.

' _How much longer will this keep going on? I don't want to keep endangering the people I care about.'_

"Are you alright?" Makarov questions, approaching her from the side as she continued to look around.

She gives him what she hopes is a pleasant enough nod and smile, stomach doing flips at seeing the faded scar nearly hidden by his silver hair.

"Yeah, just checking out all the different cabinets and fixtures, they look nice. Goes with the rustic feel from before." Lucy notes, trailing a finger across dark mahogany wood.

Makarov nods and they both gaze towards downstairs, Natsu has taken up the opportunity to engage in the middle of an arm-wrestling contest with Gray with Gajeel watching overhead betting on who will lose.

This is the normalcy she longs for, what's been lost to her for so many months now.

"Natsu's had quite the effect on you these past couple of months, hasn't he?" He asks knowingly.

Her face reddens at being caught staring, eyeing him with a small grin. "That obvious, huh?"

"At the start of spring semester last year he had proudly boasted he would be able to change your mind when it came to men and dating. Didn't seem like he would rest until he knew you were his and vice versa." He chuckled.

' _I wonder if getting involved with Natsu has brought more harm than good though.'_

Did Makarov know after all the darker nickname he held, the things he had done in the dark underbelly of Fiore's night life?

And after all, Natsu's presence in her life had brought about changes and things she had learned she could never take back or forget. To truly breaking up with Loke, to learning more of her mother's past, and finally to being on the cusp of truly maybe finding a cure for the insomnia that still kept her on edge.

Yes, the past months had gone by like a whirlwind indeed.

And when Natsu finally picks up on her stare on him, he sends her a warm smile she knows is reserved only for her.

' _Stop worrying so much.'_ She coaxes herself.

This is a welcome back party in spite of everything that's gone on.

' _Still, there's one thing I need to clear up…'_

"Before you go Makarov, I had a question I hope you could answer…regarding the past guild masters of Fairy Tail." Lucy asks nervously, tugging him back from walking away.

If anybody holds the precious key to the locked away memories of Fairy Tail's past; it's him.

Makarov cocks his head in puzzlement, before nodding in understanding and gesturing for her to follow him to his office.

It isn't easy, but the rest of the time she spends indulging herself with the latest gossip Levy and Juvia have for her and when it's time to go, Natsu wraps an arm around her shoulder loosely and whispers in her ear they've had a long day.

The night is cooler than usual, air filled with the scent of freshly cut grass and pine. Happy greets them with an excited purr upon their arrival, blue fur nuzzling and clinging at their legs before trailing after them to the bedroom to curl into his usual spot at the edge of the bed.

"I don't see myself getting much sleep tonight. I don't even feel tired." Lucy huffs despite the yawn that creeps into her voice.

Natsu chuckled, leaning closer to press a kiss against the pulse point of her neck. " _ **I**_ can do a thing or two to change that."

He smirks at the rush of warmth that rises up. "N-No, not like that!"

But he opts for rubbing soothing circles along her back instead, waiting for the slow rise and fall pattern of her breathes to return.

She hadn't needed her sleeping medicine in nearly a month now; a record for her.

Though the harder nights, the nights where it was well past 3 am and she was awakened from her nightmares, bloodshot eyes scouring the cabinets for the tablets made him worry just how deep Zeref's words or effects were getting to her.

A cracking noise pierces through the silence, the sound of glass shattering coming from the direction of the kitchen.

He waits until he's sure Lucy is deep enough in sleep, it's only then that he turns and looks over to the lone shadow that's trailing closer towards the bedroom. A golden gleam settles into his ebony eyes, gaze becoming smoldering.

"I didn't think you would ever resort to breaking and entering Zeref."

-X-

"You know why I'm here." Zeref muses, surprisingly keeping his voice low.

And his onyx fall to behind him, towards Lucy finally asleep within the crevices of their pillows.

Natsu stops him before he can even take a step forward, fangs elongating as his jagged scar begins to shine in the darkness.

"Don't even think about it." He growls, voice menacing and dark enough that Zeref holds up his hands in playful surrender.

"I don't even know why you're so against me conducting my research Natsu. Both you and Lucy could benefit so much from what I could do. You could go back to be known as the Dragon who-"

"No, why the hell would you think I would want to go back to that life again?!" Natsu spat, interrupting him.

He hears Lucy groan from behind him and frowns, pushing him until they're both far enough away from the bedroom.

Moonlight seeps in through breaks in the clouds along the curtains, Zeref remains in the shadows; face half lit with light while the other half obscured.

So much like the mask he put on for his clients.

Zeref shrugged, tugging at fanciful jewelry along his arms. "I thought you wanted to be famous, be known for your strength and power."

Natsu shook his head, memories flashing of dried blood bleeding into the cement, men and women alike tearing into their skin as addictions ravaged their mind…

"Not like that, never like that." He murmured, anger dissipating from his voice.

"I can't let you take Lucy. Once upon a time, you were actually a good doctor known for saving lives, even my own. The man who stands before me now has been too corrupted by loss, by the sins of greed and wrath." Natsu sighed.

Zeref clicked his tongue, own gleaming canines sparkling in the light as a wicked grin split across his face.

"You sound just like Roy before I got rid of him for good."

Bile crawled up his throat at how easily those words left his lips, Roy hadn't been his favorite person in the world (well, not even someone he liked to consider even a _**person**_ at times for his actions) however…

' _He's dead?'_

At his stunned expression, Zeref laughed; ominous chuckling echoing against the walls.

"What? Did you honestly think I was going to keep him around after all those mistakes he kept making time and again? No, you should know me better than that little brother."

He swallowed the dry spit on his tongue, forcing his mouth to move.

For his fists to tighten.

"Get out of this house. Now."

Zeref crackled his own knuckles, stepping forward.

"No."

The first blow connects with his stomach, spray of blood escaping his lips as he _**finally**_ breaks that stupid grin off his face. He slams his own punch straight into his jaw and he grits his teeth and twists his head before any of his teeth can be knocked out in the process.

"You're still so weak. You should just give up and come with me; I can make you stronger than you've ever dreamed and Lucy…well I can take away all those sleepless nights once and for all." He teased, dodging his punches far too much with annoying precision.

For every hit he lands, Zeref can land two in return.

And despite the heat of rage scorching from his scar to all throughout his body, he's getting tired…

Sweat drops into his eyes, blurring his vision as he sweeps low to shake Zeref off his feet.

The abrupt movement gives him only a second, one second to jab out those flashing ebony eyes of his.

He barely scrapes the edge of his right eye before being knocked back again.

"Give up Natsu. You and Lucy can either come with me willingly or _**not.**_ " He hisses, flash of a blade slipping from his underneath his sleeves until a feminine voice cuts through.

"Stop this Zeref!"

' _Mavis?'_

No, it can't be her…

But he turns towards the sound of her voice, surprised to see Lucy standing at the corner of the room holding up a grainy image on her laptop.

Mavis looks back at him, tears streaking down the corner of her eyes.

"Zeref, please don't do this! You didn't spend all those years in medical school to go against the principals of all that you learned! That _**we**_ learned together!"

This is a recording he realizes as he glances towards the date at the edge of the screen, a moment captured in time so long ago by one of his old associates.

A minute later he hears his own voice come in, the painful words he had can never take back spill from his lips.

"Mavis, you can be either with me or against me. The underground market is lucrative and allows me to further expand those very principals. If you think it's twisted, then that's your _**own**_ opinion; not mine."

His younger self looks away from the camera, not seeing the subdued anger in Mavis' expression, jade eyes filling with tears before being hurriedly blinked away until only a flat look remains.

"If…If that's what you want then I want no part in it." She whispers.

He isn't sure if his younger self has heard her, turned away towards piles of books littered about.

The screen flickers and buzzes, his associate gets yelled at to leave and the screen goes black.

Silence fills the room, Zeref eyeing the empty screen.

"How…how did you find that? I was sure when Mavis died that I got rid of any and everything that reminded me of her or that she owned." He muttered.

Lucy smiled faintly. "Mavis kept secrets from you too, secrets she locked away in storage areas that only a precious few people she trusted knew about."

He arches a brow, they had had so many of the same friends.

"For example, she knew Makarov wouldn't exactly be on your radar." She finished.

' _Ah, of course.'_

Fairy Tail.

The guild she once happily ran and that she spent so many precious hours working, partying, or even sleeping in.

He had never understood her fascination with the university's club until recently.

Lucy lowered her laptop down to the ground, staring between the two men nervously. It had been a gamble to search through piles of old books and memorabilia of Fairy Tail's past when Makarov had given her the access key to explore through the dusty files and books of Magnolia's history Mavis had kept for herself.

It felt odd to be prying into her life in such a way, scourging through her journals and private entries.

They were filled with her hopes and dreams, sweet yearnings that kept her up at night until she had gotten sick…

Zeref was often mentioned too, the mysterious raven haired man who made her blush and her heart skitter.

"She wouldn't have wanted you to do this, please think of that before you do your next action." Lucy croaks out.

Her heart won't stop thundering against her chest, auburn eyes flickering between the gleaming blade still in his position to the droplets of crimson beginning to stain against the floor trailing from Natsu's skin.

' _I was almost too late.'_

A painful minute passes before the clinking of the knife to the ground sounds through the air, long sigh erupting from Zeref's lips.

"Is…Is that the only video of Mavis you managed to find?" He asks quietly.

Lucy doesn't answer immediately, looking towards Natsu who nods at her.

"No, I-I have the happier moments too." She whispers out.

For the first time she thinks a true smile crosses his lips then, weak and fragile in a way that maybe Mavis always saw him as.

He wipes at tears shimmering into his eyes as Lucy clicks on to another video, clearer than the other as Mavis's bright grin fills the screen, tossing wavy blonde locks from her face as she attempts to read a complicated looking book and ultimately fail.

"I forgot how happy I wanted to make her, how much I just wanted to be with her." Zeref mumbles as the screen cuts off again.

"The same can be said for the patients and even clients who believed in you." Lucy brings up gently.

Zeref doesn't answer, only clicking on to the next clip.

And the rest of the night goes on in a sea of gritty and rough images, Mavis's laughter and voice filling the quiet.

In the morning he leaves, only presence of his arrival being in blood stained tiles and Natsu's freshly bruised skin.

"Is he…going to be okay? Is he going to come back for us?"

Natsu winced, biting back a curse as Lucy poured too much alcohol unto a particularly deep gash along his stomach.

"No, I think Mavis reminded him of the person he used to be, the one who wasn't consumed with experimenting and corrupting others…speaking of which, could you lay off the rubbing alcohol Luce?! I'm not injured that bad!"

Lucy stuck out her tongue, pressing a patch of gauze to the wound before leaning close to brush their lips together.

"Toughen up Dragon."

-X-

' _364…365. I made it…a whole year.'_ Lucy smiled at herself proudly, crossing another X through as a new day arrived.

One year without insomnia.

An entire year without needing medicine, Juvia and Levy would surely want to go out to celebrate such a milestone!

Her scar no longer ached like before, fading lightly into her skin as a memory. Natsu's too only seemed to come alive when they were deep in lovemaking now, sparkling and heating under her gentle caresses.

Spring brought about the return of warm nights and breezy days, sweet scent of blooming petals and freshly budding grass wafting through the air.

' _I can't believe last year around this time I had still been dating Loke.'_

Her gaze drifted to the man currently occupying and hogging all the blankets of her dorm bed.

Natsu.

Okay, so not _**all**_ her one year plans had gone exactly the way she expected, especially not when she had declared to her group of friends she was going to swear off dating.

She walked over to her bed, bumping him until his face hit the wall.

"Ow, what's the big deal?!" He huffed.

Lucy crossed her arms against her chest, pointing to the clock. "Big deal? You're sleeping in _**my**_ dorm bed once again and you're going to be late for class if you don't get a move on!"

Natsu grinned lazily, tugging her down into the sheets with him. "Oh, is that all?"

And try as she might, she's _**still**_ having difficulty ignoring his kisses and touches. His fingers thread to underneath her tank top, reaching dangerously close to the claps of her bra.

"This is important Natsu, graduation is next month and I want you to be walking across the stage too!" Lucy grunts out, pushing his hands away.

Natsu chuckled, turning them so he hovered above her. One hand moves forward to begin his assault on her breasts while the other remains possessively close on her stomach.

"A lot can happen in one year; can't it? He purred lowly by her ear, rubbing the spot affectionately.

Lucy nodded, moving her own hand up to grasp it in his as he pressed against the slight bulge.

"Yes indeed."

-x-

 _I think I'm truly finished now! I'm so sorry this took so long to update, I guess the way Fairy Tail's manga ended kind of left me on a sour note lol (teasing all those couples and yet nothing official sigh). Anyways, I hope this ending was satisfactory, it was a difficult to write and I would keep starting and stopping until I finally pushed through to the end. Thank you again to all that took out time to read, favorite, and follow; I appreciate it!_

 _Let me know your thoughts!_


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